Grey Alcott POV

I've been reborn again and, this time, my name is Grey.

...In this life, I am the son of a count. I've never been a noble before, so this experience was new to me.

Either way, I'm sure that I won't be able to enjoy my life. I lost the part of my heart that was able to feel emotions long ago.

You might find this hilarious, but I can't remember my first life anymore. I can't even remember the original me.

I can only remember small details of my first life. After all, I've been reincarnated so many times...

Who was my lover?

I can't remember her name anymore. Even her face is a blur in my head...

Who was my enemy?

I can't remember the man I despised anymore...All I can remember is that, in my last moments, I cursed him out.

Who was my mother?

I can only remember her soft touch on my head and the smell of the food she made...but who was she?

Who was the one I killed under the order of my enemy?

I can only remember that I told him one of my wishes and that he was smiling when I sliced his head off...

...Who was I?

No matter how hard I try, the memories of my first life are nearly gone...

...So why does every inch of my body still reject life?!

Why do I still suffer even though I can't remember why I am suffering?!

It's as if my heart still remembers pain even though my mind has long forgotten.

I punched the ground in frustration. I don't understand. Why...?

Why can't I remember?!

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Almost 4 Years Later

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While I was laying down on my bed, I looked at the ceiling...and realized that I was still alive.

"Please get ready, sir! Today is your fourth-birthday debut," one of my maids told me when I sat up from my bed.

...I'm four years old?

Life is dreadfully slow.

"Prepare breakfast and ask for a servant to dress me in a suit," I answered monotonously as usual.

"Of course~," the maid said as she bowed and skipped away.

...How boring.

Everyone around me is always happy while they work.

Why are they happy...?

Why are they happy when I have to suffer?!

I sighed and growled.

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When the preparations for my debut were done, I was escorted to the castle where my debut would be.

The moment I could see the castle, I froze.

For some reason, I hated the castle.

Then when I saw the statue of the first hero on the very top of the castle, I felt like puking.

The castle was sickening.

Absolutely sickening.

But why?

When it was time for me to enter the ballroom, my entire view was filled with noble families trying to get my attention.

From what I have learned throughout my whole life as a noble is that every single noble is absolutely disgusting.

Nobles are just pieces of trash that dress up in shiny rocks and enjoy luxury. Their faces were permanently molded to form a sickening smile as they spoke vaguely.

They were like animals.

And because of this, I was forced to learn how to act exactly like these animals.

From the very beginning of this life, many people came to teach me etiquette and how to act like a noble.

I hated every single lesson.

Pretending to be happy with my life is tiring.

Ugh.

Later in the day, my current parents, the Count and the Countess, walked to me and told me to go greet the king.

When I heard the word, "king," a wave of anger rushed through me.

...I've never met the king before, have I?

Why do I feel as though I hate him...?

My parents escorted me to the throne in the palace.

When I walked up the stairs, I saw them.

Sitting on the throne was an animal with green eyes.

The moment I saw him, I felt like I wanted to gouge his hideous eyes out and...to kill.

The whole room spun around me and I quickly excused myself.

I ran away.

Every inch of my body was ready to attack him.

I wanted to rip him to shreds. I wanted to make him beg for forgiveness.

I wanted...to make him feel even a fraction of my pain.

But instead, I ran away. I ran as far as I could away from that man.

My heart was beating loudly as if it was screaming at me to kill him.

Bloodlust.

It took me ages to calm myself down.

And then I remembered...everything.

I remember my first life...

I remember how the king used me, how the demon king died after granting me a pointless wish, how Marielle died, and how I died.

I remember...how much I would love to get my revenge.

If I wanted to...I could kill the king and his entire family in this life.

I could get some revenge...!

But...

I can't.

The king that ruined my life died thousands of years ago. The current king has nothing to do with that man.

There's no point in killing the current king...

I began to laugh as tears rolled down my eyes.

I'm a broken puppet that's not even capable of revenge...

I chanted out numerous curses to the previous king and punched the wall of the castle until my hand was dyed in red.

Slowly, my rage was replaced with emptiness.

I rinsed my bloody hand in a small fountain and entered the ballroom again after I prepared myself.

I breathed in slowly as I walked back to the throne where my angry parents and the king stood.

"Where were you?! You stu-" my mother screeched as she held her hand up to slap me.

"It's alright! Your son just needed some fresh air, right?" the king said as he stopped my mother from hitting me.

Ugh...I wanted to throw up the moment he looked at me.

"Yes," I replied as nonchalantly as I could.

"Um...Yeah...you're mature for your age, right...? You're almost like my son..." the king said with a little confusion.

"Yes."

"So...uhh...let's start the magic testing?"

"Yes."

"Of course...let's begin!"

After the magic test, I found out that I had shadow and poison magic with a high MP of 1,523,853. The crowd whispered amongst themselves as they spread false rumors about me.

Spread all the rumors you want. I don't care.

When I went back home, my parents yelled and screeched at me for running away from the king.

I was slapped by my mother as she called me names. My father stood quietly in the corner to watch the whole thing. Right before he left, punched me in the gut once.

Heh.

Everyone's cruel once you get to know them.

When night came, I laid in my bed and, as usual, couldn't sleep properly. Instead, I just stared at my bedroom ceiling...exactly the same way I have done for thousands of years.

When morning came, my maid came to "wake me up" again. She told me that my parents needed to talk to me.

So, she escorted me and left me alone with them when we got there.

I stared my parents who glared at me.

"Recently, you have been embarrassing our family. You must learn to stop this behavior at once," my father said threateningly.

"Yes, don't become spoiled and arrogant because you happen to have strong magic and are slightly talented. Act appropriately and do not shame our family again," my mother said haughtily.

"I beg your pardon, but I don't understand where this conversation is heading," I told them bluntly.

"You...! Listen to me! You are to never speak against me again! Do you understand?!" my mother spat into my face.

"I don't believe I have done anything wrong," I said steadily.

"...You have not learned anything at all, have you?!" my mother said as slapped me across my face.

But even though her slap should have hurt, I couldn't feel any pain on my face.

...It seems that I have also lost the ability to feel pain.

"We have decided that next year, you will be working at the duke's household as a servant," my father said with a hint of anger in his voice.

"Yes, you should learn some manners there as you spend the rest of your life away from us! Please understand that we are removing you from our family permanently," my mother laughed.

"So, in a month, I won't have to live with you pigs?" I asked with a small smile.

To be honest, watching her become angry made me feel fulfilled inside.

"YOU! You cursed child! If we weren't bound by blood, I would have executed you years ago! How could my child become so arrogant?!" my mother screeched.

"I wouldn't have cared even if you did execute me," I answered truthfully.

My remark only heightened her anger and she rushed to beat me, but I left before she could.

I calmly walked back to my room.

In less than a year, I can escape this place...but what if the duke household is even worse?

I have no doubt that I will be able to adequately serve the duke, but I wonder how I will be treated there...

Luckily, even though my current body is young, I have more experience than everyone alive.

So...if things get hard, I could just kill them all.

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Less Than a Year Later

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I was finally sent to the duke family. My parents didn't even say goodbye as I left the estate.

When I reached the duke's estate, I saw hundreds of healers and mages arguing with one another.

I wonder what is happening...

Days later, I heard that the young lady of the house was in a coma after being hurt by a forest wolf. Supposedly, she was trying to save the young master of the house from dying.

How pointless.

All people die at some point.

There's no point in saving anyone if they are going to die in the end.

For the next week or so, I was under training to learn how to be a proper servant. Everything was easy to do.

Since I was only four-years-old, the work given to me was cut down.

After another week passed, the duke asked me to become his daughter's personal servant if she woke up.

It seems that he trusts me for some reason.

This man is so stupid.

If he loves his daughter to the point that he would kill men who approach her, why would he introduce me to her?

I sighed and visited the young lady for the first time.

When I finally reached her room, I greeted the young master of the house, who was watching over the girl. The young master glared at me as I walked to the young lady.

When I reached the young lady's bed, I looked down at the body of a young child in a coma.

She was very young. Most likely, she was around my current age.

But even though she was pretty, I wasn't interested in her cute face. After all, I've seen many beautiful women in the past thousand years or so.

What I have learned from experience is that cute people are cruel and manipulative.

I chuckled.

This girl definitely manipulated the people around her...After all, her brother is an obvious example of someone who is under her control...

Her coma is just karma for what she has done.

...But after her coma, I bet she will slowly become happy again.

Once again, I was reminded of how I have to suffer for thousands of years and how everyone else gets to die normally.

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One Week Later

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I hid in the shadows and watched the duke work in his office. I needed to be able to serve him when he needed me. I sighed in drowsiness.

I have never slept properly before. Maybe, I never will.

While I was staying in the shadows, someone knocked outside the door.

I was a little surprised when the young lady of this house entered the office.

She walked through the door quietly and her father quickly hugged her the moment he realized she was there.

They both looked happy to see each other.

Why are they so happy...?

After her father spoke with his daughter, he introduced me to her. When she saw me, she opened her eyes wide.

Judging by her reaction, she was a naive girl.

She was probably a stupid girl, making her an easy target for the men around her. Perhaps she hasn't even realized this...

I've been feeling bored lately, which is probably due to the fact that I haven't properly released my anger in my past few lives.

Maybe this girl could be my next target...

I nearly giggled out loud.

It's funny how broken I am.

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5 Minutes Later

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She came up with three dumb rules about how I shouldn't act like a servant.

The problem is, I currently am a servant. So because of her idiocracy, I will personally take the initiative to ruin her life.

When the young lady asked me to make her some tea, a great idea came into my mind. Maybe I should "help" her recover.

I properly escorted her to the tea room and made her some nourishing tea using some herbal leaves I found in the mansion's kitchen.

I gave it to her and watched her drink some.

Her face twisted in disgust as she took a small sip of the bitter tea.

I smiled.

Although it was an innocent prank, it was the most I could do. As a servant of this house, if I were to get fired, I would have nowhere else to go.

I wish I could do more to torment her but, unfortunately, I can't.

However, her anger made me enjoy myself a little.

Suddenly, the door opened and a blonde boy walked in.

"F-Florence! What are you doing here?!" she squeaked out.

...So this is her fiance? I looked at him and saw a mean smirk form on his face.

I have a feeling the two of us will get along...even if he has green eyes...

"If you can't drink it, Cordelia, how about I help you?" he said with a dark smile.

He had the guts to take a sip of the tea and try to feed it into the girl's mouth.

It was extremely entertaining to watch as she struggled. She tried to escape by running away, but she was so slow that it was pitiful.

We caught her easily after she bumped into her brother.

When we successfully captured her, I secured her to a chair with some rope...that I randomly had on hand.

Then, I sat down to watch the whole show.

We were interrupted by the duke at some point, but since he was stupid, we were able to lie to him easily.

When he left, the prince began to tease her more.

"Should I take your first kiss today?" he whispered into the young lady's ear.

Her face slowly grew red, which was honestly almost funny.

"N-no...You're not my f-first kiss..." she muttered.

"Hmm? I don't think I heard you properly," the prince repeated.

"I said that y-you aren't m-my f-first kiss!"

"...Huh?"

"Someone kissed me before we were engaged, alright?!"

Wow. She was really blunt...

"Pfft. Ouch...that's got to hurt," I said with humor.

"Excuse me...?!" the prince said.

"Y-yeah?" the girl said with confusion.

What I witnessed after that was incredibly funny.

The prince forcefully kissed her and she passed out. I nearly laughed out loud, but if I did laugh, then the prince would've placed me under his wrath.

For the rest of the day, the prince glared at all of the maids and servants. He even took out his anger on some glass valuables by ultimately destroying them.

...Watching him get angry made me feel alive.

It was absolutely amazing...

If I continue working here, will I feel even more alive?

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1 Day Later

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The young lady begged me to teach her swordsmanship, which I didn't want to do since the young lady was weak.

Training a weak person was not something I would want to invest my time in.

But her father actually consented.

Her father is so stupid sometimes...

We walked outside and I gave her a wooden sword, which she had difficulty holding.

She actually couldn't even hold the wooden sword.

...This is why I didn't want to do this...

In order to show her the difference in our abilities, I sliced through her wooden sword using my own. She was shocked, which was understandable.

I used to be the first hero. I mastered thousands of sword techniques that are now engrained into my psyche.

So why should I even teach this weakling?!

...But she still wanted to learn.

So instead, I gave her an impossible training routine.

I ordered her to run five laps while holding her sword but, of course, she refused. She even tried to strike a deal with me, but she failed horribly.

In the end, we were able to go back into the house...but before we reached the mansion, I sensed some people nearby.

Assassins?

Maybe these people were aiming to kill this girl...

Heh.

This will be fun.

I quickly excused myself from the young lady and walked to where the five people were hiding.

One of the people, who were hiding, threw a knife at me, but I gracefully dodged.

Then, I quickly analyzed the area around me.

...This is the best location for me. I have the upper hand.

Dozens of trees surrounded me...creating numerous shadows.

In case you've forgotten, I have shadow magic.

I flicked my finger and watched the shadows wrap around each of the assassins' necks as they were slowly lifted into the air.

"Let's get this over quick, okay?" I said with a dark smile.

With a single clap of my hand, I killed off three of the assassins.

Their heads went flying about...ten meters?

"So...who do you work for?" I asked nicely.

"..."

Neither of the last two assassins answered, which was boring.

Ugh.

I killed another one.

This time, their head went flying...fifteen meters?

At this point, the final assassin was sweating heavily and even tried to commit suicide by stabbing himself, but I stopped him by binding his hands and feet with my magic.

"I'm a busy man, you know? Milady will probably be requesting tea soon," I told him with annoyance.

Why won't this man just tell me?! Seriously...I'm starting to get bored.

"...I-I d-don't know a-anything," he said while stumbling over his words.

I don't understand. Why would he lie in this situation?

Either way, he's going to die. So why would he try to keep his loyalty until the end?

In my impatience, I broke one of his legs with a snap of my fingers.

"Ah! Ahhh! AH!" he yelled.

"Do you want me to break your other leg?" I asked coldly.

"..." the assassin remained quiet.

I snapped again to break another leg. It's his fault for staying quiet.

He screamed in pain.

"It-It's the mar-marquis..." he said as tears rolled down his eyes.

Hmm...this was slightly entertaining.

"Oh really? Thank you for cooperating~" I said happily.

"C-Can I go?! Please! I have a family!! Please!" he said with hope in his eyes.

"Ehh~ Really?"

"Yes!!"

"I don't care."

"Wait! Plea-"

"Since you talked back to me, I won't give you a quick death like the others~"

I clapped my hands twice and watched the shadows do their work.

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHESDOVJSAGXMVOPEISOAAAIFOIDSJJGHK!!" he screamed loudly as the shadows destroyed every single piece of his body.

"Please be quiet if you can. I don't want to disturb milady," I scolded him.

"..."

Hmm...I think he died already.

How disappointing.

I cleaned up the mess and walked back to the estate when I was done.

As I was walking back, I saw the young lady in a panic.

"Who's there?!" she yelled with fear.

"It's just me, milady," I answered when I stepped into her view.

"You idiot! Why did you make me worried like that?!" she yelled at me.

"Why would you need to be worried?" I asked.

"Someone was giving off a death scream and I thought that it was you!!!"

"That's not what I was talking about. Why would you be worried about me? Don't you know I'm really strong?"

"If you are capable of doing everything, then you are also capable of dying."

"...Hmm."

Pfft. But I'm not even capable of dying...

How ironic.

"But do I actually want to die in this life?" I mumbled under my breath.

I'm actually having fun killing the assassins around the young lady! Dying would be a waste at this point.

"What did you say?" she asked.

"Nothing at all, milady."

"Look, I don't care if you act evil, okay? Just make sure you don't die and everything will be okay."

"Sure. I probably won't die, though," I said with a laugh.

After all, I can't die.

"By the way...do you know who was screaming their head off?" she asked innocently.

I almost choked in laughter. If only she knew what I was doing...

The man was definitely "screaming his head off."

"That's a funny choice of words...Anyway, no, I do not know exactly who was screaming," I said with a giggle.

Obviously, I don't know the man who died personally.

"Fine, you win, Grey," she said as she gave me a hug.

I almost began to laugh. This girl knew absolutely nothing, yet she was able to hug me like this.

...If only she knew...she wouldn't hug me so warmly like this.

Her hug was actually quite nostalgic. It reminded me of Marielle's hugs when she was still alive.

I feel comfortable with her...

...

Wait...

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A Few Thousand Years Ago

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"Tell me what you want for your wish!" the demon king said with a large smile.

"...My wish is...to spend a wonderful life with the person I love the most," I answered with hesitation.

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I wanted to "spend a wonderful life with the person I love the most."

...No way.

I never specified who I wanted to live a wonderful life with.

...

No.

No.

No.

There's no way that my wish led me to this girl, right?!

I truly did love Marielle! So...why...?

I don't even like this girl in front of me.

I literally don't even feel a thing for this girl other than humor.

...But...is it possible that the wish I made with the demon king referred to this life?

Is this why I kept reincarnating?

Was I constantly reincarnating in order to reach this life?

No...that isn't possible.

The "person I love the most" should've been Marielle. There's no way that I will actually love the young lady more than I ever loved Marielle.

I love Marielle...not her.

My mind went blank for a moment as I thought of a possible solution.

I'm certain that currently, I have no emotions for the girl in front of me.

I'm certain I don't like her now...but...will my future self like her...?

I don't know...

Maybe I should spend some time to decide whether I actually love her or not...

Yes...I'll wait.

I don't know if I'll ever love her...but even if there is a tiny chance that I will fall in love again...I want to fall in love.

I want to feel something normal again...

I want to be alive.

...But just waiting would be too boring for me...

...So, in the meantime, I'll make this girl the source of my entertainment.

While I do this, I can even decide if I love her...

It's a perfect plan.

"Why of course, Cordelia," I finally answered with a chuckle.

Oh...Please don't disappoint me...

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A/N: Did you guys expect this outcome? I hope it was surprising for everyone!

Also, if you guys didn't realize, this is currently the LONGEST chapter I have ever written! So uh...yeah!

Anyway, thanks for continuing to read my story! I'm grateful for all of the nice things you guys always say!

This story's view count is currently increasing by a lot! So thank you, everyone!

Thank you for reading/voting/commenting!

Okie byeee!

Word Count: 4026