Love. She doesn't care about that kind of feeling. She doesn't care what true love is as long as she's with him and continues feeling that kind of happiness. That is enough for the Abandoned Princess.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

It was the spring of my 10th birthday. Two years had quickly flown by since I first met Ciel. The vivid green leaves and bright, cheerful colors of the flowers were a feast for my eyes.

In the distance, I watched the red-headed Captain handing a basket to the King, who sat on his dark horse. They exchanged brief words before Lucas placed his fist on his chest and bowed as Edmund departed through the palace gates. A routine that Edmund does every time my birthday comes.

Although I felt a small pang of disappointment, I was relieved that I would not celebrate my birthday with the man who made my heart quiver in fear.

I turned and walked away before Lucas could spot me and cling to me like a leech.

"Good morning, Priestess Irene," I greeted as I entered the royal church. Irene stood at the altar, meticulously cleaning the statue of the Goddess of Light.

The morning sunlight streamed through the large windows that surrounded the church. I love how they built a stained window by the altar and the way the light filtered through the colors, as it danced and kissed the goddess with its soft hues giving an ethereal glow.

As if expecting my arrival, the priestess turned around calmly and returned my greeting with a warm smile. "You're early for your morning prayer as usual, Princess Elaine. And happy birthday."

Irene was the one who saved me two years ago, sustaining me with her magic while I was asleep for four months. Priestesses like Irene were blessed with light magic, particularly healing magic.

"Thank you. I could say the same thing to you, priestess, cleaning the church early in the morning. Isn't that the clerics' job?"

"I was resting my vocal cords and don't have anything to do."

Sitting near the front of the altar, I found myself thinking that whoever sculpted the marbled statue must have seen Cianna in person, it was carved exactly in the likeness of the goddess, down to the smallest details. Its face was sculpted not in joy nor happiness that brought a smile to someone, but a face of a heartbreak. One would think she looked as if she had been betrayed by someone she loved.

Taking my eyes away from Cianna, I spoke, "I heard you're prolonging your advancement to be a high priestess. Usually, people would jump to such opportunity, but you on the other hand seem hesitant."

"Oh, you heard of that..." Irene's voice trailed off as her hands stopped moving.

"The newly assigned clerics didn't seem to know how to whisper properly, and I happened to unavoidably overhear them while I was praying. I didn't mean to pry; I was just curious as to why a hard-working priestess like you is hesitant to move up in your rank."

"I see. Well, it's not a secret, so it's fine, I guess," Irene replied, sitting beside me. She folded the cloth that was used to clean the statue and placed it to the side. "Becoming a High Priestess is a long process for me. I would have to go to the Holy Empire to study for several years. As someone from a commoner family with four siblings relying on me, I couldn't afford to leave my family, at least not yet."

"I understand. It's not like you'll actually lose the golden opportunity. I believe that Goddess Cianna would be happier knowing you chose your family over becoming a High Priestess. But it's a shame; they say high priestesses have higher salaries."

Even her laugh was like a melody to my ears. "Hahaha, yes, it is quite regretful. Talking with you sometimes feels like I'm not talking to a child, Princess Elaine."

I forced a laugh.

"Now that I rested well, I'll go back and practice and leave you for your morning prayers."

I clasped my hands together in prayer and greeted the goddess statue before me as Irene began to sing. Her voice never failed to amaze me. It was pure and soft filling each corner of the church with serenity.

It had become an unwritten law that whoever bore light magic must become a priestess and offer her body and soul to the Goddess Cianna.

"It's a pity that you couldn't marry or have a family, priestess," I spoke after my prayer, while Irene took a sip of water. I relaxed my body, slouching slightly on the wooden bench.

Now that I think of it, aren't I and the other Holy Maidens bound by the same fate as the priestesses? I never heard of or witnessed Holy Maidens falling in love during my time serving the goddess. It was as if we were stripped of that feeling.

Irene offered me a glass of water and sat beside me. "Before becoming a priestess, we were given two choices whether to live normally or continue using the power given to us to help the people."

"Live normally? Why can't you do both?"

She looked at me like she was having a hard time explaining the reason. "It-It's because the magic will be gone after...copulating," she said carefully choosing the right word while her cheeks dusted in pink, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Oh! You mean sex. So that's what it is, huh," I said, finally understanding why priestesses don't marry. They offer their body and soul only to the Goddess of Light.

"Ar-are you... Don't you feel ashamed?" Irene responded in horror, her hands trembling as she held the glass.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of though. It's part of human nature. Or do you want me to call it fucking?"

"Princess Elaine! How-How can you speak such blasphemous words!" Irene continued to be horrified by my sudden use of words and mumbled to herself, "How can a child know such words?"

"I'm a born sinner. Please forgive me, priestess," I said and took a sip. "Should I cut my tongue because of this foul mouth of mine?"

"Goodness no!"

Seeing Irene nearing her limit, I decided to stop teasing her.

She released a sigh of exasperation before scolding me gently and excusing herself to attend to her duties, leaving me alone.

For the past two years, the royal church has become my sanctuary, a place of solace. If only I could stay here...

Today was my birthday. And today was the queen's 10th death anniversary. I found myself absently clasping my hand around my neck, lost in thought. Eight more years before the story ends. Before my life would come to an end.

The morning sun continued to rise in the east, casting rays of light through the stained window down to the altar making it feel more holy and serene.

The resounding gong of the bell rang across the royal estate, indicating the start of a new day.

Left alone in the church I was suddenly startled by a voice coming from the altar.

"You still look weak, Elaine."

My heart skipped a beat as I turned to see a transparent figure materialize beside the statue. Her beauty was ethereal, with her long hair flowing softly with every movement.

Cianna was right. I was still weak.

For the past two years, the magic that the goddess had blessed me with hadn't manifested nor grown stronger. Later on, I realized that I was missing something—a holy artifact—to unlock and fully use my magic.

I was about to ask Cianna about my artifact when she spoke ahead of me

"I have a favor to ask."

I didn't like where this conversation was going, but I still asked, warily, "What favor do you want me to do this time?" Every time that word 'favor' came out of her mouth I always end up suffering.

She smiled wider and stated cheerfully, "My birthday is coming up."

"...I didn't know you celebrated your birthday, nor did I think you had one to begin with," I muttered in disbelief.

"I can hear you, you know." The goddess glared at me, offended, but quickly dismissed my comment. "The mortals celebrate it, so I don't see why can't I?"

"When is it? Your birthday, that is," I asked, trying to keep my tone even.

"It's during the summer festival," she informed me in ecstatic.

Ah, of course. The summer festival is a celebration dedicated to the Goddess of Light. I could see now what she was trying to get me to do.

"Since my birthday is around the corner I want some Boeuf Bourguignon, Saffron Risotto, Egg Benedict—"

I stopped listening after the first food she mentioned. Those foods were from Earth. Once, she came back from that world and shoved a cookbook at me, demanding I prepare a variety of foods ranging from meats to rice dishes to desserts. I had to suffer since I was not a natural-born cook.

Her list continued to something I was unfamiliar with

This was too painful to hear and a pain in the ass too.

"...—and also Onigiri and Omurice."

"Today was supposed to be my birthday," I muttered once again. Why was I being bombarded with tasks that I couldn't do?

First, I have no proper equipment since this world lacks the technology that the Earth has. Second, I also lacked ingredients. How was I supposed to make Onigiri without rice?

"I have something for you, so don't be devastated. It seems that you have forgotten a vital part of the story," she said with a smile, waiting for a reaction from me that never came. "You're still no fun, Elaine. Even after I made you a mortal."

Ignoring my seething glare, she cleared her throat and continued, "The main story is about to begin after you meet your sister. Your half-sister."

My body immediately went stiff at her words.

How could I forget about the heroine?

Although I was not in the right mind to continue the conversation, I stayed for a few minutes and listened to Cianna, avoiding the dreadful subject that occupied my thoughts.

My hand gripped the knob tightly as I pushed the door. I glanced back at the altar where the goddess was floating, waving her hand with a soft smile on her face.

"What were the foods you want me to make again?"

From where I stood, I could see her eyes glow with excitement. I listened to her with a smile—a smile that didn't reach my eyes. Overjoyed, Cianna didn't notice my forced expression.

"Roast chicken, soup, and a salad," I repeated the wrong dishes she had spoken of and nodded. "Got it."

Before she could utter a word, I was already out of the church. I heard her call as I walked back to the Moon Palace ignoring Cianna.

I spent the rest of my birthday locked inside my room with a painful stomach.

I had been so busy that I had completely forgotten about her. With additional lectures on etiquette, piano, and more dancing, girls with little to no magic like me tended to focus on becoming proper, ideal wives rather than engaging in graceless pursuits. But his majesty, King Edmund, wanted me to learn to ride a horse and use a weapon.

Dying without a fight is a disgrace, he said, before announcing my lessons in horse riding and archery.

I was too busy surviving and avoiding the wrath of the royalties who held my very life that I had forgotten about the main character's existence.

Laying on my bed, my stomach lurched painfully as I tried to remember the story and the false accusations, along with some unforgivable deeds committed by the Abandoned Princess.

"Tormented the heroine until it became a killing attempt. Released a grade-A demon on the crown prince's birthday. Planned to escape the royal estate without prior knowledge of the false accusations. Killed the new queen, the heroine's mother," I muttered, counting them one by one.

"Princess, you look so pale," Haisley said with concern when she saw my distressed state. "Is..everything alright?"

No.

"I want to be alone. Please leave," I begged, anguish could be heard in my voice

"I'll come back with your supper." With one last look, Haisley left quietly.

The anxiety kept me wide awake, tormenting me through the night. The constant negative voices spiral within me.

I shouldn't feel this way. This doesn't make any sense. I would understand if this feeling was of fear of death, but this... this fear was different.

Why was the thought of her appearing too much to bear? It felt like I was experiencing the true emotions of the original Abandoned Princess.

One thing about my birthday, it happened last year when the king went away disappearing somewhere and appearing the next day with a ghastly complexion. And today was the same.

But this time, when the clock struck midnight, a soft, hesitant knock came on my door as if the person didn't want to wake me up.

The door opened and my late-night visitor found me awake.

"Elaine? Why are you still awake?" Edmund asked as he crossed the room towards my bed with long heavy strides.

My heart hammered down at my chest, face pale as a sheet. Fatigue was visible on his face as we both stared at each other in bleary.

"I heard from Lucas that you've been holed up here all day, refusing to let anyone visit you," he spoke when I didn't respond. "Your brother was heartbroken. He was looking forward to celebrating your birthday. What happened?"

My relationship with him, it's... complicated. I could say it has progressed a bit. We're not as close as I am with Aiden, but we talk from time to time. Sometimes I could see the genuine concern in him like today even though his face and voice were stoic.

There were moments when I forgot that he was going to kill me in the future when I found myself enjoying his company.

But now, the heroine will get in the picture and the fragile relationship I had will begin to break.

I'm scared. Scared of so many things. Most of all, I'm terrified of allowing myself to care for him, for my father, only to be betrayed in the end. I always hold myself back when I'm with them, keeping myself at a distance and allowing fear and anxiety to consume me.

"I... I'm just tired. What about you, your majesty?"

He frowned. He really doesn't like it when I call him that.

"I'm also tired."

We both carried burdens and secrets that couldn't be said. The weariness of our hearts, the fear of the future weighing heavily every day.

Edmund then moved to sit beside me on the bed. "Give me your hand," he commanded gently.

I held out my hand towards him. With a solemn expression, he placed a cold object into my palm.

My heart stopped at the sight of the ring.

It was my ring—the holy artifact I had left behind in the holy land.

Why did Edmund have this?

"It's your mother's ring."