When the Japanese mend broken objects, they exaggerate the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful. ~Barbara Bloom

"Mama's home!" Sarah yelled happily and she ran as fast as she could on her tiny legs toward the cart. Hawke stood straight in the field of vegetables they had been planting and wiped the sweat from his brow with the sleeve of his buckskin shirt.

He moved his attention away from Sarah and looked up at the approaching cart and his eyes narrowed at the sight of a man riding with his usually overly cautious wife. Lily had gotten better over the last few years. She still hated guns and grew fearful at the first sign of serious conflict but she went to town without Hawke and wasn't scared to do it and she didn't freeze up with fear any more when men would talk to her on the street.

But there was no way she would let a man she did not know ride home with her in the cart. Hawke readied himself for a fight, thinking that this man must have forced his wife to bring him here but as the cart moved closer and the man jumped down Hawke's eyes widened momentarily and he walked toward the man he had not seen in five long years.

"Hi, Hawke." Jack said awkwardly. Hawke was just staring at him. His green eyes were narrowed slightly and everything about his posture was tense.

"Lily, take Sarah into the cabin." Hawke said his voice as hard as stone. Lily climbed down off the cart and eyed her husband suspiciously.

"Why do you not act like you're surprised to see him?" she asked.

"I knew he was coming." Hawke replied matter of factly. Jack saw the anger and disbelief cross over Lily's face and he quickly pulled out a rolled cigarette and lit it.

"You knew he was coming!" Lily yelled and then she looked down at Sarah who was looking at her parents with a mixture of confusion and innocent fear and said much more calmly and quietly. "You didn't think that was something I needed to know?" Hawke shrugged and shook his head.

"No." he replied calmly. "Now take Sarah inside and let me talk to Jack."

"We will talk about this later." Lily promised pointing her finger up at Hawke's stern face and narrowing her eyes. She grabbed Sarah's hand and led her up to the cabin.

"I need to get a few things straight with you." Hawke said turning his attention back to Jack. Jack nodded and tossed his cigarette aside before sticking his thumbs through his belt loops and looking at the other man.

"Fair enough."

"I do not know where you have been or what you have done and I do not want to know. It is not my place to question another man about what he has done in the past. I do need to make sure you did not bring any of that past home with you though." Hawke said. Jack knew Hawke was asking him whether or not Brian or John were going to be coming to Great Valley.

"If my past comes to Great Valley it won't be because they're looking for me. As far as they know I'm six feet under and they put me there." Jack tried to read Hawke's face but as always it was unreadable.

Hawke looked Jack up and down. He was dirty and unkempt. He had grown several inches taller and although he was still lean, his muscles had filled out beneath his worn out clothes. He looked every inch a man and his blue eyes looked older, as if he had learned a lot of lessons the hard way over the last few years.

"Lily is happy you're home." Hawke said, crossing his arms over his chest. Jack nodded and wiped at some dried mud on his pants.

"Yeah. I was actually surprised that she was so happy. I figured she'd slap me again." he said, doing his best to make the words sound like a joke even though they weren't.

"Five years ago she would have. She has had a long time to cool off." Hawke replied with a nod. "She has the biggest heart of anyone I know and so there is plenty of room in it for you no matter how badly you hurt her in the past." Jack felt a wave of guilt pass through him.

"I'm sorry, Hawke. If I could go back and change things I would but we can't change the past."

"No but we can learn from it." Hawke replied.

"Yes sir." Jack said with a nod. Anger flashed in Hawke's green eyes even as his face remained calm and unreadable.

"My wife cried a lot of tears over you. I want to believe that you coming home means you are going to stay but I do not forgive and forget quite as easily as Lily."

"Yes sir."

"If you cause my wife that kind of pain again I will not let you ride away. You will pay for it with kainai." Jack knew what Hawke was saying but he was desperate to lighten the mood.

"Dammit, Hawke, you know I never did understand it when you started speakin injun." Hawke stared hard at him and Jack stared back determined not to show his fear. Then suddenly Jack felt relief flood through him when Hawke's eyes softened just a bit and his lips curved just a little.

"Blood, Jack. You will pay in blood." he said.

"Hawke, this is the only real family I ever had…. I'm kinda hoping I haven't lost them." Just then Lily's voice came from the porch.

"Jack! Get up here and let me shave that ugly beard!" she called. Hawke shook his head and patted Jack on the back.

"It has been here all along just waiting for you to come back." Hawke turned and walked back to the small garden while Jack cleared his throat and walked up to the porch.

888

"Now you look like Jack again." Lily said as she wiped the left over cream off of Jack's face. "All that's left is to cut that hair."

"Actually I think I'm gonna keep it longer." Jack said. Lily studied him carefully for a moment and then nodded.

"It looks nice." And then she grinned. "But then again I'm a sucker for long hair." Jack smiled and looked over at Sarah who was playing on the other end of the porch with her dolls.

"She's really pretty." he said to Lily. "She looks like you and Allie." Lily noticed the sadness in his voice when he said Allie's name.

"What's your name?" Sarah asked walking over to Jack and stopping about a foot from his chair.

"Jack." he replied. "I knew you when you were a little baby."

"I'm not a baby anymore." Sarah said matter of factly.

"No you aren't." Jack replied.

"Sarah, go get uncle Jack the soap and a towel." Lily said and Sarah nodded and ran into the cabin.

"Lily, I wanted to tell you I'm sorry. I screwed up and you are being really amazing right now and I don't really deserve it."

"Hush. You are family and I told you one day you'd get smart and come back home." she replied with a warm smile. Jack shifted in the chair and cleared his throat.

"I've done a lot of things in the last five years…." Lily cut him off with a quick shake of her head.

"I don't want to know." she said. "It doesn't matter."

"It does matter." Jack argued. "I'm not a good man.." Lily crossed her arms over her chest and glared down at him and he saw that she had adopted some of Hawke's mannerisms.

"All that matters is that you are home now and you are back with the people who love you." Just then Sarah came back out on the porch with the soap and towel. Lily took them from her and handed them to Jack as he stood up.

"Now go to the lake and clean yourself because you stink."

888

"I should have known Hawke's cabin would be an hour from civilization." Gavin said with a smile as he pulled the cart to a stop beside the cabin. "The cabin is….uh… nice." he said. Allie knew that Gavin was just being polite. She had seen his home in Helena and she had seen the kinds of things money could buy.

"I would love to have my own place like this one day." Allie said. She saw a look pass over his face that clearly said 'no' but when he spoke his voice was warm and gentle just like it always was when he spoke to her.

"We can have a home in the country." he agreed. She knew that his idea of a home and hers were different things but they could deal with that later. She was just thankful they had not run into Jack again in town. She still wasn't sure what to make of his sudden appearance or her bodies reaction to it.

Gavin jumped down from the cart and was about to help Allie down when Wolf came stalking across the yard, his golden eyes locked on Gavin and his teeth bared as he growled low in his throat.

"Oh my God!" Gavin yelled jumping back up into the cart. "Is this the other one you were telling me about?" He demanded. Allie couldn't help but laugh at the high pitched quality of his voice as he stared down at Wolf.

"Yes." she said between laughs. "This is Wolf."

"Are you laughing at me?" Gavin asked incredulously. "You think it's funny that I'm afraid of that thing? Who wouldn't be afraid of that thing?"

"Wolf, come." Hawke's stern voice called and Gavin and Allie looked up to see Hawke walking toward them from the barn. Wolf walked away from the wagon and laid down in the sunlight beside the porch. Gavin cleared his throat and did his best to look unembarrassed as he jumped down from the wagon and Allie let him help her down as well.

"Yes, well I was just a bit startled is all." Hawke rolled his eyes and wondered for the thousandth time what Allie saw in this man.

"Well, Allie dear, I'll be heading back to town now. I have some business to take care of." Gavin said twenty minutes later as he, Allie, Hawke and Lily all stood in the yard. Gavin looked over at Sarah who was wrestling around the yard with Wolf and Janna.

"Is that safe?" he whispered to Allie. She nodded but before she could reply Lily looked behind them and smiled nervously.

"You look better, Jack." she said much too brightly. Gavin and Allie both turned and Allie nearly gasped out loud at the sense of déjà vu that came over her.

He was older and more filled out than he had been in that train station in Helena all those years ago but all she could see was that boy that had come to her rescue. His face was clean shaven and his deep dimples were visible even though he wasn't smiling. His clothes were worn and dirty just as they had been the day she had met him and his blue eyes still seemed to have a spark in them even though he looked anything but happy as he glared at Gavin's arm wrapped around her shoulders.

"I feel better, Lily." Jack replied. Lily excused herself quickly and went up into the cabin.

"I'm heading back to town, Jack, would you like to ride with me?" Gavin asked. Jack shook his head.

"I live here." he said matter of factly. Gavin nodded.

"You know each other?" Hawke asked looking from Jack to Gavin and wondering how Gavin could be so blind to the possessive anger that was radiating off of Jack. Gavin really was a clueless waste of air. He was a nice guy but did not belong here and was not good enough for Allie.

"Yeah this guy here saved my life." Gavin replied and he launched into the story of what had happened on the stage. Jack noticed that he left out the part where Gavin screamed like a baby but he let it slide because he also left out the part about Jack looting the dead men's bodies.

Allie tried to keep the awestruck look out of her eyes as Gavin recounted Jack's bravery. She had a lot of reasons to hate Jack but she had even more reasons to love him… He had been a saving grace for her all those years ago. He had saved her life with Nathan. He had been her best friend. He had wiped away tears and shared smiles and laughs. He had held her hand tenderly and kissed her gently. He had saved her fiance…

Gavin was her fiance. The reality of that was sinking in. She had agreed to marry a man that she did not love. Did that make her a bad person? She looked at Jack. The man who had had her heart since she'd been thirteen and felt more lost than she had ever felt before. What they needed was some time alone to really talk…

"Here you go." Lily said coming back out of the cabin with one of Hawke's shirts. "Put this on and I'll clean yours. Your pants will have to wait because Hawke's won't fit you."

Jack shrugged and pulled off his vest and shirt and then he noticed the looks of horror on Lily, Allie and Gavin's faces. Hawke of course hid his reaction better but Jack was certain that even his eyes widened slightly.

"What happened to you?" Allie asked. She cursed the tears that were threatening to fill her eyes at the sight of Jack's scarred body. His lean build and sculpted muscles were marred by hundreds of scars. Three round scars that had to have been bullet wounds were on his left shoulder and two more on his right. There was one on his chest just below his heart and several more on his sides. Other longer scars that looked like the one on her face so she knew they must be knife marks covered his sculpted chest and stomach. Allie couldn't stop herself from walking around him and his back was an even bigger tangle of bullet, knife and even whip scars. Even his arms were covered in pale scars.

"Jack, what did those people do to you?" Lily exclaimed, not hiding her tears the way Allie did. Jack grabbed the buckskin shirt from her quickly and shrugged into it.

"Nothing." he said quickly. He looked at Gavin desperate for an excuse to get away from all of the concerned faces.

"I think I will come into town with you for a while." he said. "I'll be back before dark though, I promise." he said to Lily and Hawke. He didn't even look at Allie as he walked over to the cart and jumped on. Gavin said his goodbyes quickly and the two of them left. Jack could feel three sets of eyes burning holes into him as they rode away.