Chapter 41

I was in Clare and Luke's room. Standing there in the doorway, everything looked to be in the shadows. And when I say everything, I mean mainly just the bed. Because that was the only thing in the room. No dressers, no safe, no pictures or anything. Just the eerie room and their bed.

I was confused. What was this about? How...? I walked in the room, taking it all in. And the fact was, there wasn't much of anything else to take in. I felt a rush of cold come over me as I took in the grey walls and black bottomless floor. Everything had changed. So dark... especially the bed. It was black with black pillows. Yet, it was as if it was the brightest thing in the room; I couldn't keep my eyes off it. That was until another thing came into this strange existence.

Three chairs appeared near where I was standing and looking around. Right in a row, they were lined up in the middle of the room and all facing the bed. It looked even more creepy now. The chairs shinned in the shadows just like the bed did. But this was worse. Because unlike the bed, these chairs hit a nerve because the moment I saw them, I couldn't look away from the letters each chair's back held.

One chair had bright letters, spelling out the name Albany.

The other chair, in the same manner, had the name Emily spelled.

The third chair however had no name on it. I wasn't sure what that was suppose to mean but I didn't like it.

"We haven't decided on a name yet," I heard a voice come from behind me. Whirling around to where I heard the voice, my eyes instantly met with Clare's. They were bright, shinning with happiness and the need to rub something in my face. Before I could take anymore of her in though, my eyes immediately shifted to the person next to her. Her hand holding Luke's, they stood in the doorway together, facing me. Looking between the two of them there, I started noticing more things. Like the fact that Luke was blindfolded and didn't appear present with how absent his blank face and frozen body were. Like he was Clare's little puppet. I also noticed he was shirtless with nothing but jeans on. Clare also deserved a raised eyebrow from what she was wearing. She was wearing light blue and lacy lingerie, flowing out gracefully until just above her bare thighs.

"What are you talking about?" I asked her, staring between them in such a creepy air. Her eyes were nailed in mine in a way that was beyond eerie. It was scary, the intensity behind that look. Her smile only grew with her teeth showing, white and excited I asked. It made her look that much worse.

"Luke and I... we are going to make a baby together. Tonight. You'll have another brother or sister soon enough."

I could register thoughts or feelings. I just looked at her in shock, unsure of how to take this. "No, not if I can help it," I said.

But before I could try anything, everything shifted. My vision went black and the next thing I knew was that I was sitting in the first chair, the one with my name on it. The worst thing about this was the fact that I was restrained. By what? I didn't know. All I knew was that I couldn't physically get up and move, attack Clare. I was forced to stay where I was, facing the bed. I however was able to notice something else, something beside me. Or rather, someone.

Emily was sitting in the chair besides mine, in the one with her name on it. She looked up to me, her eyes filled with sorrow and fear. I wanted to hug her, help her since she was restrained as I. But I couldn't. I was bound by invisible ropes to the chair and so was she.

"Albany," she said, managing to look up at me. Her big beautiful eyes went for miles, her smooth skin and long hair beautiful shined. She was beautiful. Yet, so sad with a broken voice. "I don't want momma to have another baby. She's going to hurt the baby."

I nodded in understanding. It was a cycle. Clare had me, my dad left, she beat me, hated me. Then Clare had Emily and the father left too. She beat her, hated her. And went even further by killing her. If Clare had a baby again... she might try to love it. But what if Luke leaves her? Then like the other times, she would hate the baby. And looking over to her now, I could see it. She knew that as well. She would try maybe but she knew if Luke left, she would start beating on the baby too. Looking at her smile, I think she liked that. She liked having children and ruining them if she couldn't love them.

"Neither do I," I finally said, watching Luke and Clare come into the room more. Clare's teasing eyes kept finding mine as I sat there, watching. She led a lifeless looking Luke towards the bed and pushed him back onto it. Laying on his back on the bed, Clare smirk at me as she climbed on the bed as well, moving over Luke. I internally groaned and cringed, trying to look away. But my eyes felt physically forced to watch this.

Laying over him, she pressed his lips against hers, moaning as she staring to rub up against him more. Luke in return, still wearing that blindfold, wrapped his arms around her too and kissed her deeply back. It wasn't long until she broke away, leaning up slightly. Looking to me, she grinned as she started to unbutton his pants.

"We are going to do it Albany. And you're going to watch the man you love make your mother pregnant." She pulled his jeans down and off as she kissed him again, grinding against him. Luke's hands wrapped around her held her tightly to him, his lips moving down and to her neck. She arched her back, rubbing herself against him as she peered back into my eyes. Her hand wrapped in his hair, holding him to her neck, she smiled to me. "Your going to watch the man you love move in me. And your going to see that he's too far gone to save. He's mine and always will be."

Before I realized what happened, Clare leaned up over him, her hands pressed against his chest as she straddled him. His hands on her hips, she started to rock back and forth, moaning loudly in that terrible rhythm. I tried looking away; I didn't want to watch them. But my eyes wouldn't move. I felt a scream want to reach my lips but it didn't. I wanted to let out the pain and scream as she moved over him more, moving up and down. When she started moaning his name with every thrust she made, I started to really feel the hurt and betrayal in my chest. I wanted to die and take her with me. Seeing them together and in that merger state... it scarred me. It burned me. Literally.

As I was restrained in the chair, forcing me to watch, the more time passed in agony, the more I felt my chest burning. Not with the pain and unbearable hurt the sight was doing to my heart, but my chest felt like it was literally burning. I let out an ear piercing screams, never in so much pain before. So much physically and mentally.... My eyes burned into them, my screams unable to block out Clare's loud groans. She was moving faster over him, her hips grinding faster. Her skin again his... oh god, stop! Stop! My heart was shredding, my body crumbling, all handcuffed down to suffer. Suffer in the pain of the flames working to escape my body. Suffer in the sight of Clare fucking him.... My stomach twisted, my heart ripped apart, I yelled and screamed at the top of my burning lungs! Oh fuck! Oh god! Luke! Luke!

"LUKE!" I cried out, tears streaming down my hot face and my skin burning up. Falling down my cheeks cooled my face but didn't stop the fire. It only sped up and I could feel my throat sting with blood. Yet, I couldn't make myself look down. I could only watch them....

Clare grunted harder, her back arching as the bed shook. She closed her eyes in the passion she felt. "Oh! Oh Luke! Yes!" She grunted, opening her eyes to glare at me, moving harder as that stare broke me, taunted me. Told me she was better than me for getting him. "Oh knock me up baby!"

Moving my blurry eyes down to Luke, his eyes were still blindfolded. His lips parted, breathing hard, hands on her hips... he thrust back up and into her. I cried harder, the fire traveling up my throat. My lips parted from crying, it was cut off by the uncontrollable flow of blood. It flowed out of my mouth, down my chin and down my chest, my cries turning into coughs.

"Luke!" I was able to get out again, screaming. Only it came out too quiet for a scream; my lungs and throat were burning up. "Please... Luke! Luke!" My screams turned into sobs, slowly quieting. I tried screaming louder but it didn't come out well. "LUKE! God please don't... I love you! I love you, Luke."

The flames engulfed my mouth until I could no longer release any sound. Clare leaned down and kissed him, moving harder over him. The sight started to blur however when bright licks of fire lit my vision. The pain started to swallow me whole, until all I could stand was internal screams inside my head. Nothing but black and screams.

Soon, those screams somehow came out. I could feel my voice vibrate in my throat again like before and after a moment, there was more besides black. There me, my body laying on my bed. There was my window right next to my bed. There was the four walls surrounding me that made up my room. There was the headboard that came back into existence when I sat straight up and pressed my back against it. There was the darkness from the night in the corners of my room and light from the bright moon. There was a sting in my ears from a loud noise. There was realization that it was me.

And there was a man, standing at the foot of my bed. It wasn't Luke.

Before I could accept anything yet, before I realized that what I just went through was a dream, he was moving when I screamed.

Everything that was happening... it was just so fast. I was watching Luke and Clare have sex. I started burning alive. Then I could scream again and I was in my room. There was a man in my presence. And he was coming at me. Through the darkness, I could see his mass move too fast to even really register anything. Hell, I was still reeling from what I just witnessed with Clare and Luke. Now, I had another reason to scream.

He ran and jumped over me in that small second, my screams were instantly cut off. It was like being jerked into space. No time, no air. I felt my eyes widen and my throat burn. Ironically, it wasn't the literal burns like before in what now I was discovering was a dream. Because it was a dream, that I watched Clare and Luke have sex. It was a dream that I actually burned up. Now though, I was awake and was burning in a different way. Now it was because he was choking me.

Looking up at the man that pinned me down, a constricting feeling moved around my neck. Tight, tight, so tight.

"Backstabbing Bitch," he hissed harshly in my face an inch from his. His words had no affect compared to his belt. Heat rushed over my face, my lips begging for air but getting none. He was choking me. Choking me....

Happened so fast... and such a shock. My vision blurred, but it didn't mean much. It was already hard enough to see. But with his breath in my face, eyes an inch from mine, I knew whose soul I was staring into trough those eyes. So much hate and anger, he tightened his belt even more around my neck, making me let out a slow gag. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't scream. My eyes were watering from the pressure, my face heating much more. Even worse was the fact that I was pushing against him and nothing worked.

It was instinct what I did next; I tried screaming, but nothing came out. In a quick motion, I raised my palms to his shoulders and put all the force I could to push him off me. I squirmed under him, trying to get free of him. I hit him, tried kicking, did anything I could to try to get out from under his pressing weight. The only thing that happened was that the belt he wrapped around my throat tightened even more, digging into my neck and making my groan.

I couldn't scream and with each second passing not being able to, it got worse. Pressure built to where I needed to breath. The belt tightened, my throat tightened. No breath. But even though he cut my screams off, it was too late for him.

Because the fact was, I had screamed. From my dream when I woke, I sat up and screamed. It was enough for Luke to hear apparently.

He was over me, drawing the life away from me with that damned belt. Then, in an instant, he wasn't. My constricted neck was released and I gasped loudly at such a relief. It was like a shock again. Breath taken away so quickly and then rushes back in on instinct. Unsure of what the hell happened, I couldn't help but rest back against my bed, breathing rapidly in and out.

As he had released me, I realized it was because Luke barged into my room. However, the minute the door swung open and Luke was in sight, that's when the man completely stopped and let his grip go. I was unable to do anything in my state. Luke however was just too late when he started to move after him.

It was rather a strange sight. The man moved fast over my bed and to my window. Without hesitation, he threw his body out the window and onto the roof. Apparently, my window was already open for some reason so it made his escape much easier. That must have been the way he came in, through my window. Now, he was out of sight.

Not a second after he jumped out my window, Luke was on my bed quickly after him. Luke stopped moving after looking out the window. I wasn't sure what he saw but I assumed it was too late to catch the man since Luke didn't continue after him. I could see that he really wanted to and hell, maybe he could have. But he instantly turned towards me instead at that moment.

His eyes grew larger at seeing me and he scrambled up my bed more to see me better. Looking down at me urgently, my eyes finding his, the only thing I could think about besides his beautiful eyes were the luxury of breathing. It felt so good, to just breath. There have been many times in my life where I wanted to kill myself, wanted my breath to stop. Tonight, air was very precious to me. It felt so good while stung with every inhale and exhale. The man did try to strangle me after all.

He instantly took me in his arms, pulling me up and into his lap. My vision was blurry and I felt my insides shake, my lips parted as I was whimpering with every breath. "Clare! Clare get up! Clare!" He yelled, his eyes moving away and to my doorway as he shouted. "Clare!"

A moment later, I noticed Clare was in the room. Luke was talking to her quickly, ordering for her to call the station. He told her then to give him the phone once they picked up. As she ran out of the room, playing the caring mother card, he looked down at me a second later.

His hands holding me up to him, he leaned down and petted my hair away from my face, stroking my skin and trying to comfort me while he was the one that was unstable. "How do you feel?! Shit, deep breaths. Deep breaths," he said, nodding to me, looking so panicked. Listening, I stared up at him, catching my breath as well as everything in the last few seconds - because yes, it all took place within a few seconds. So you can imagine that was a lot to take in so fast, including the dream, my original reason for waking. And thank god I did. "Good, good...." he said, breath hard too. "Deep breaths, sweetheart. You are doing good."

He called me sweetheart. I liked that a lot. Yet, at the same time, I wanted him gone. Just looking at him... that dream was back.

Wheezy breaths, I managed. I heard something off to my side and Luke looked up and away from me. The next thing I noticed was his hand leaving my face where he was stroking my hair back. He took the phone from Clare, speaking in such a fast voice, I didn't bother or even know if I could make out his words. He spoke with order, with need. I understood enough that he called the station and reported what happened, all while pulling me up in a sitting position more. I just breathed as I felt his hand lightly run up and down my back, his words over the phone urgent background music.

The only thing he asked me: "It was Mark wasn't it?"

I only nodded and that was enough of an answer. A few minutes later, after he called the station and gave the report, he said for them not to bother coming to the house but rather have them search the area in all directions within a couple miles (apparently with time, he shouldn't be far at all yet). It sounded like he was going over board with that yet it sounded as if he was in charge on that part. Hell, I wouldn't question his orders with the panicked and urgent voice he used.

As I looked up at him as he spoke into the phone, his eyes didn't leave mine. I felt myself want to cringe from his touch, his presence. I loved him, so much. I wanted him and felt safe with him here now. But that dream was just so real... I couldn't help but be completely disgusted with him.

It wasn't long before he was off the phone. His main concern was me and since he told his friends at the station enough for now, he focused on me. And the moment he did and dropped the phone to my bed, he wrapped both of his arms around me pressed me closer to him. That was when I noticed he was shirtless and was only wearing cotton shorts. It made me more upset, bringing me back to that dream. Unlike in the dream though, there was so much in his expression, it was overwhelming. He continued whipping the sweat away that I hadn't realized formed around my forehead and face. He was trying to soothe me as best as he could with how close I was to breaking down. "I'm taking you to the hospital. I don't care what you say. Your carotid arteries cou--"

"I'm fine," I said, managing a stable voice as best as I could. I just wanted to lay back down and die. I didn't want this now, especially with both of them in the room with me. I didn't want to think about how close I came to death. But I wasn't dead; I got very lucky and physically was good enough. I shook my head as best as I could, as if my answer was not enough. His eyes read not debatable though.

"You are not! Jesus Christ," he murmured, eyes wouldn't stop looking me over and mainly my neck. He cringed and swallowed hard, brushing his fingers over where the belt cut into my neck. He shook his head, panicked, even more so than me it appeared - which was a big deal since I wasn't sure how to deal with this. I think I was still trying to register it all.... I mean shit like this happened before and I've been through worse. But when it all happens so fast like that... it was kind of a shock. The dream really affected me, though it shouldn't have. Then, Mark tries to strangle me and get away. The last thing I want is to go to a hospital. "I care to much about you to--"

It took a lot to cut him off. It usually was easy, what with how polite I am engaged in a conversation. But I was hyperventilating it seemed, breath incredibly hard right now, but it wasn't from what happened exactly. It was also because of that dream, which ultimately saved my life. I was ready to give in and scream again, needing some release if I wouldn't allow tears. But I didn't. I had to make sure I wasn't going to the hospital first.

"No! No, I am not going! I don't need to!" I shouted at him as best as I could, though it came out raspy. "It only lasted for a few seconds before he was off me. I'm not bad; the belt only broke skin a little. I'm just going to be bruised. D-Don't take me in...." I said, lips quivering slightly but I wouldn't cry. I refused to. It was shameful. I don't know what had gotten into me. Shit like this happened before, physical abuse I mean. What I wasn't use to was such a massive dose of mental. I get it was just a fucking dream. But it was so real and could be real if you think about it. It didn't help that Luke was here half naked and Clare was in the room as well. I looked down and away from him.

I think that because this was a rare time I was showing how scared I was, he gave in. I knew he had reasons that would cancel mine out - like that the amount of blood didn't matter. But he took a second to look and feel my neck closely for inspection. After that, he sighed. Another reason for giving in I think: he was shook up as well. He understood where I was coming from. Not hearing anything from him for a moment, not looking to him, his voice broke the silence as I heard him speak to his wife. "Clare, go get me a warm damp rag."

When I heard her retreating footsteps towards the door, I started to calm down at least a little bit. While she was out of sight and fetching the rag Luke required, I felt his arms move more around me, pressing me more against his skin, even just for that moment. I loved his smooth warm skin, soothing. Then, at the same time, I could stand it. It only lasted a minute though. He had me lay back down in my bed, under my covers. Luke found an extra pillow and propped my head up a little. In the process, he closed the window and blinds as well as turned on a small lamp. The moment he flicked on the small lamp, Clare came back into the room and handed the rag to him. He took it without looking at her. However, it was the first time tonight I was getting a good look at her expression. And though she appeared very worried and concerned while in Luke's sight, when turned, she gave me annoyed glares. Some of which became incredible angry and pissed off. Like she had wished Mark would have finished his job. It was quite frustrating. I'm pretty good at keeping my temper with the hate thrown at me but after so much, I didn't want to put up with her bullshit. I just closed my eyes, not wanting to look at her. I felt too weak to tell her to fuck off and honestly, I kind of felt I deserved her glares. Like I wasn't worthy of having my pride any longer.

Staring up at the blackness of my eyelids, I heard Luke once again speak to her. "Go back to bed. I've got it from here. She needs to be with me for a bit."

After a few seconds, I heard her voice reach the air, kind and gentle. "I'm just glad you're okay honey," she told me. "I love you." After getting no response from me - which was a complement compared to my other reaction to her open lies - she left the room. When she did, I opened my eyes and still wouldn't look to him. From my side vision, I saw him move towards my bed though. When he sat down on the edge next to me, he only stared at me for a minutes and I could feel it.

I bit my tongue hard, making myself stop shaking, both my body and quivering lips. I gave in and glanced up at him. He was looking down into my eyes, and with so much intensity. Gently, he started to stroke my neck just lightly with the rag. I felt so warm from all this. Yet, felt so far away at the same time.

This started another stage of the night: alone time with Luke. It started after an hour of just letting everything else settle down.

We were silent. Not much with tension - though it was there - but rather the need for silence. The need to get under control. For me to think over everything that has happened. I honestly wasn't sure what to make of what happened with Mark. I mean, I wake up and there he is. I assume it's because he wants his money; the money we never paid because he was suppose to get arrested. He never did; he got away. He said if I didn't pay, worse would come and it did. I was warned so I guess it kind of was my fault.

Though that was the key event of the night, and the one that could have killed me, my mind kept wandering back to my dream. I've had worse dreams - much much worse. But... I've never had one about the man I loved and in that situation. Never had something so repulsing... the image was still stuck in my head. As Luke was lightly dabbing at those small spots of my neck, I wouldn't look up and meet his eyes again. I found that was helping me keep sane; not looking at one of the stars of my nightmare.

My breath was finally calming down, but Luke's kept increasing. Cleaning up the small amount of blood spilled from the marks, not much at all, every stroke became more shaky. I could feel it, his fingers shaking as his whole body was trembling. He was so worried and it bothered me because I wanted to make him feel better. But how could I when I can't even stand looking him in the eye?

"Are you ready to talk about it?" his voice broke the silence. It also forced me to want to look up into his eyes. I fought it though and kept my eyes absentmindedly on my wall when I answered him.

"I don't want to talk about it. At all," I managed, voice neutral as I could make it. I still felt that stupid lump in my throat.

I heard him lightly sigh. But that small breath, I could hear the quiver in it. Just as I felt the quiver in his hand as he rubbed my neck with the rag. That sound made me nervous and I was forced to look up at him. I pursed my lips as I took his face in. His eyes met mine and they instantly shocked me. I felt my breath increasing again as he stared at me, blankly. So beautiful.... caring and loving.

"I understand," he said quietly, the jade in his eyes digging into me. "But you need to. I told the station that Mark broke in and tried to strangle you. Then I told them he jumped out the window and ran. I need to know if there is anything else I should report. Because what I told them was incredibly brief. It was nearly impossible to avoid having them come out and talk to us."

I internally sighed, shaking my head as I looked down. However, he wasn't going to quit. His other hand brushed my cheek and I shivered at the contact. He raised my chin and made me look him in the eyes. Worry radiated through him, eyebrows dipped low and wondering, curious. "I also need to know because I care about you. Please. What happened?"

I felt my breath start to increase more as I looked at him. I started to shake again but tried to stop. There was no reason to be shaking or freaking out. It happened, big deal, get over it. But I felt I had to tell him. It was important to him and important to me in a way.

"It was luck," I said quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"I had a dream and it made me wake up screaming. It was such a coincidence though that at the same time I woke screaming, he was in my room and preparing to strangle me. If I never woke and never screamed, I would be dead. He would have strangled me in my sleep and without a noise. So that dream kind of saved my life," I said quietly, rolling my eyes and scoffing at that. It also killed off another part of my agonizing heart. I looked away from him and down at the bed I was laying in. He stopped wiping up my neck by now; he dropped the rag but his hand returned. He lightly stroke my cheek, begging me to look at him but I didn't. I felt his breath hitch though when I told him that just that dream saved me.

"Jesus fuck...." he groaned, his voice breaking. I couldn't help it now. I looked up into his eyes and saw him incredibly vulnerable. He was shaking, his eyes pleading with mine. "You mean to tell me that a dream made you scream and not Mark?"

I nodded my head. "Think about it. He came here to kill me and would have done that easily. If he strangled me in my sleep, I doubt I would wake in the process of it. And even if I did somehow wake in the middle of it, I don't think I would be able to scream. It would be too late."

His eyes darkened more and he bit his lip, this time looking away from me. He shook his head slightly. "You're right. Because he tried strangling you with his belt and put his weight on you... he came here with a goal to kill you. If you never had that dream, you..." He didn't finish his sentence. He meant if I never had that dream, I would have been dead right now. I wouldn't have woke screaming and therefore, Luke never would have heard me. I saw him bite his lip, looking ready to break.

"Yes, I would have been dead. But I'm not. I'm fine. I've been through worse."

"Then why are you shaking? Why wont you look at me? Why do you look so distant? And why can't I stop worrying about you?" He asked. He leaned down more from where he was over me, lightly brushing my cheek. His breath in my face, he was breathing harder as he traced the lines from the belt on my neck lightly. I was looking away from him, not able to look into his eyes. It was hard enough with everything that just happened. "Albany," he whispered. "Please look at me."

When I did, I couldn't keep my mouth shut anymore. "No. Look, I'm fine. So I would be happy if you just left now."

"Um... what?"

I answered anywhere but to his eyes. I bit my lip. "I've been through worse and have gotten over it with no one to help me. I'm use to it. I don't want your bipolar sympathy anymore. Go back to bed."

He was quiet for a moment, becoming completely still. "Listen Albany--" he started. But I cut him off, unable to stop myself from asking.

"Were you having sex with Clare?" My voice broke open with emotion; I couldn't help but ask him. I didn't want to but I had to. I searched his eyes desperate for an answer. I needed to know. With his lack of clothing, it didn't help my state of mind. I didn't want to ask, bring it up, even tell him anything about my dream. But after what just happened, I needed to know.

His eyebrows dipped low, not understanding where I was coming from. And could you blame him? It should be assumed that I was in shock from Mark's attack. I was. But I was in even more shock after that dream came back because it was so vivid and real.... I needed him to say no and tell me it was a dream.

After telling him to get lost, and now asking if he was having sex, you can bet he was confused. Blame my fucking heart. It's messed up. I felt him rest his hands on my arms and he sat up, pulling me into a sitting position with him. He turned more to properly face me. My legs stretched out before me, he crossed his legs on my bed next to me and wouldn't let go of my shaky arms. Yet at the same time, it was as if he was shaking as well.

"What are you talking about?" he asked with an expression on my face that told me I was ridiculous.

"J-Just tell me! Were you?!" I snapped and felt a lump grow in my throat again. I refused to cry though. I did in my dream and my eyes were watering when he was choking me but I didn't cry. I wasn't going to. I took a shaky breath and wanted to look away from his calculating eyes but didn't.

He still looked very confused but answered. "No. No, I wasn't! Now why does it matter? It's not your business," he said but very quietly, his eyes growing darker. "What does this have to do with anything that just happened?"

I struggled to answer, not smart enough to see that question coming. "It doesn't matter," I muttered, shaking my head. I was relieved though. Very relieved he wasn't in the middle of having sex when I screamed but that didn't mean it wasn't going to happen, them having sex. Of course it would. I couldn't stop it from happening and eventually, he'll agree to having a baby. And the moment he does, I will kill her and be locked away for life. "It doesn't matter," I repeated, shaking my head and tried looking away again.

When I did, his hands were swift. They moved up from my arms and cupped both of my cheeks. I sighed. His fingers stroked my skin and I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to pull it together before opening them. His hands cupping my face forced me to look him in the eye. And the amount of intensity that brought, with him so close, couldn't be described. My bones felt weak, my breath out of control, and my heart ripping, over and over again into shreds.

He was so close, so beautiful. His breath was heavy too as he was thinking something over. Pursing his lips, his eyebrows dipped more as something registered in his mind. His eyes lit with realization and widened. Luke asked me in a very quiet voice, "Was that your dream? Of Clare and I...."

I didn't answer - which of course was answer enough. I bit my lip, stopped it from quivering. His hands cupping my cheeks stopped stroking as he just stared at me, not sure what to make of that. Hell, I still didn't know what to make of it. I just know it still played over and over in my head and I just wanted it gone. "It doesn't matter," I finally said after his eyes were just too much. They dug deep, swam in my core, tickled my insides and made my breaking heart race.

"That's why you woke? Because of a dream about Clare and I having sex? That's what made you scream...?" He asked, his voice not at all judging. He was surprised but just wanted to get it straight. I however didn't want this right now.

"It was worse than it sounds...." Because I love you. That's why it was so bad.

His one hand leaving my cheek rested on my hand in support. He was hesitant about it for a minute but took a deep breath, willing his shaking to stop. Powerful eyes resting on mine with understanding and sadness, he continued. "Tell me what happened in your dream."

I shook my head violently, which just made me feel the soreness that much more. "Nothing. It doesn't matter." I repeated. "Just please tell me you wont give into her." My voice broke again. "You're blind, Luke. Don't give her what she wants. If you do, everyone's life will be ruined. And though you are too fucking blind to see I'm right, just please don't give in to her and have a baby."

Hurt crossed his face as well as understanding. Sadness and worry. He shook his head. "I already told you I wasn't giving in. I might be desperate to save our marriage but I wouldn't do that. Okay?" He said, leaning in more as he saw how shook up I was over this. "I wont give in. I promise you." I could see he wanted to ask more, push to know what happened in my dream to get such a reaction. It wasn't so much of what happened. It's how clear it was and could easily become reality. "But I know there is more to it than that for the fact that this dream freaked you out more than what happened with Mark. And if you ask me, that's a pretty huge deal if it beat what just happened."

My love for him. That was a bigger deal to me than what happened with Mark.

His face still so close to mine, his breath warm and eyes burning hot, I wanted him so bad. He looked guarded, as if he was restraining himself. It made sense because his lips parted but closed again, not saying anything else but rather just waiting for my response.

"That dream... it was very real. And disturbing," my voice broke again, making me internally kick myself. "So immediately after I wake up, I'm attacked... can you understand where I'm...." I trailed off, breathing hard but this time it sounded more like I was whimpering.

Before I could finish, he moved his arms down and around my back, pulling me to into his arms and against him. He hugged me, seeing the amount of pain I was trying to keep down. I was shaking. he was shaking from how scared he was for me. With how much he felt after seeing I could have died and so easily. I never saw him unstable this way. He lost his temper before, he confessed many things to me, he was a mess at some points. But right now, he was just so shook up.

Pressing my body against his, my heart went soaring and I loved how it felt against his bare skin. He was so warm... I wrapped my arms up and around his neck, resting my hands on his warm bare back. I felt home. I felt safe and loved. Love. I know, funny how that works because I knew I was wrong.

He held me tight to him, his head buried in my neck. I could feel his body... the tension slowly started to ease out of him, his body relaxing against me as I leaned into him. I honestly wanted to push him away at first. I didn't want his comfort, I didn't want him in my sight. I didn't need a reminder of that dream. Though it was unfair, I was kind of pissed off at him. He didn't make me dream that. But the sympathy he was giving me... I didn't like it. Especially when he's cold to me one day and the next he's not. I honestly was going tp tell him to leave me alone but lost my words when he hugged me to him. Because right now, I was weak and loved his comfort.

I felt him tilt his head down more over my shoulder. My body was thriving in his arms, and soon in shivers. He moaned, that deep sigh brushing my hair slightly. I felt my eyes close tightly as I hugged him to me, tightening my arms even more around him. He felt so warm... his hot skin so welcoming and smooth. I could feel his heart beat pressed against him. And it was going really fast now, a steady yet quick beat.

"I'm just so happy that you are okay..." he whispered against my ear.

I felt a smile come to my face. Without even realizing it, I started running my fingers through his hair. I think I heard another moan escape from him. And when I felt my need to be even closer to him, I broke the embrace and leaned back, his arms forced to slide from my back. Still holding my sides, I looked to his face and saw him look conflicted. But hey, when I am close to him like that, I wanted to do things I couldn't. Not to mention the strange sense of deja vu - the fact that this wasn't the first night I hugged him after something intense - made me back off. I didn't need to be any closer to him than I already am.

His face was still incredibly close to mine, breathing hard. His eyes searched mine and he looked in pain. So close... my gasping lips and his. I still felt that hard lump in my throat and swallowed hard, still unable to make my eyes break away from his gaze.

"Albany," he whispered lightly. "If you need to cry... go ahead. It's okay." he said, probably seeing through my facade and seeing my struggle.

I shook my head. "I don't cry, remember?"

His hand raised from my side and he cupped my cheek, stroking his finger over the edge of my lip. I gave a shaky sigh and moaned, just lightly under my breath. "Well, after what happened," he said quietly, eyes gazing over my eyes and face. "I think it would be healthy if you did."

I shook my head. "I don't need to cry...."

My hand rested on his arm that was on my side, his warm skin begging for my to run my hand over the small hairs growing there. I felt it, without realizing what I was doing, my hand crawled up his arm slowly more and stopped just above his elbow. I felt him sigh again, eyes closing for a moment as he took deep breaths before opening them.

"Are you interested in Francis?" he asked me quietly.

My eyes widened slightly and I wasn't sure where that came from. I mean, earlier tonight Francis was over and kind of teasing Luke. But that paled in comparison to what just happened. To me anyway. I do know that if Francis was here and heard him ask me that, there would be a satisfying grin across his face that said 'I told you so'. But I knew that wasn't the case with Luke; he was probably just worried about me or something.

"Why?" I asked, not knowing why he cared or how it was relevant.

"I just want to know." He said, his cheeks turning a shade of red.

"I don't know," I said, watching his face carefully. His eyes burned brighter in mine and I saw him flinch slightly. "Does it bother you? That is if I was interested?"

"No. Not at all." he said too fast. "I was just wondering because I- I worry about you. Plus, it's a little creepy in my eyes but I guess I wo-wouldn't have an issue. If it came to that," he explained, his flickering this time everywhere but to my eyes that were so close to his. I couldn't believe him for some reason.

I wasn't sure how to take his words. It was a quick exchange between us and I didn't know why he wanted to know in the first place. I mean, I know one factor to us talking like this was to distract me somewhat from what happened, to keep my mind off it. But he looked as if that question he asked was incredibly important. Maybe it was some type of test. Because my next question was somewhat of that. I wanted to know the truth if he let him get away in order to take care of me.

"Why didn't you go after him?" I asked, truly curious. "When he jumped out the window, was he just too far gone or what?"

He pursed his tightening lips, looking down and away from me. He just sat there, thinking something over for a moment. He was struggling with something and he finally looked up into my eyes, stare filled with a guilty glint.

"He was running off into the trees when I got to the window. He was fast with jumping off the roof. He was too far gone to bother in my mind when there were more important things. Like you," he said, his eyes caressed me and he leaned forward even more slightly until his lips were just so close to mine. I wanted to move the small space closer but couldn't. "I know you are scared. You have a right to be. Because he will be back."

That was something I hadn't thought about yet. Because I didn't want to face that fact. Enough happened tonight to worry about. I didn't want to think about the future right now. But because he was caring and knew what was best, he knew we had to discuss this.

"He came in here with a goal, Luke. Because of the money. I would have thought that he would have done something worse but not try to kill me."

"Do you think he figured out that you're the one that told me about where he stashed the drugs?" he glanced away, looking away and finding his stronger voice. He moved away slightly from me for a moment, his breath moving harder.

I thought that over for a moment. "No. He understands that I know I'm at the top of his shit list. He would have figured that I was smart enough to not do that since it's dangerous."

Luke pursed his lips again. "So he was here because you didn't pay the money? He was willing to kill you over that? Are you sure he didn't just panic after you woke up and he was just here to steal or something...." He trailed off, grasping at straws. He didn't want to accept that he tried killing me. He was taking it hard that I could have died like that.

"It's strange for him to do. That's not like him, to kill me over just the money. He's smarter than that. But... yeah, he was hear with already planning to kill me. I woke and he already had his belt in hand. He was ready to do it. I just," I shook my head, still astonished at how ironic it was. "I just was so lucky."

He swallowed hard, his eyes filling mine and making my heart and stomach twist. "He will be back then." he whispered under his breath. I nodded, sighing. He looked down at me silently but with every second, intensity filled his eyes. He leaned in more, eyebrows dipped in conflict as he let his heart fill in his voice. "I wont let him do anything to you. Things will be changing around here. I'm not going to be able to leave your side until we find him. And we will find him. Until then, I'm going to be around you at all times. I wont leave you alone." He paused, grasping my hand in comfort, my breath catching. "We will catch him. I promise. Because I wouldn't be able to handle it if anything happened to you," he whispered but in such a passionate and dedicated voice, eyes glowing slightly. His words filled with anger filled my heart with want and love. I completely believed him. He would protect me, do whatever it would take to keep me safe, and to catch him.

So close to me... kiss me, kiss me, I wanted to tell him. His breath, lips were there. Not an inch.... "Luke...." I whispered, shaking my head.

His eyes widened and he became very aware of the space between us. I could feel him tremble as he leaned back slightly. Adverting his eyes for the last time, he sighed and I felt both hands start to inch me back more. He was helping me get back under my covers and with how close we were a moment ago, I felt so far from him now. He came to sit at the edge of my bed again like before as I rested my head on the pillow. Still not meeting my eyes, he took the rag and laid it over my neck as I laid there. The cool tough of the dampness felt good and I rested back more into my bed as I looked up at him.

"You should rest now. But don't for a moment think I'm leaving. I wont ever leave you," he whispered with guilt filling his voice and eyes. Before I slipped away to sleep again, I felt him lean down and over me again after his body heisted for a moment. Lightly, he brushed my hair back, and like the sweet man he was, he pressed his soft lips against my forehead. I felt so nice and warm... soft and loving. But I could not trust it. I knew I would hate every second with him after this. Because each second would be spent as his stepdaughter and nothing more. We would be spending all the time wew had together now. Yet I would never get any closer to him than I was now. We couldn't.

Just as he stood up, leaving my heart racing from feelings he didn't have, he turned the lamp off. The moment he did though, I felt something run down my cheek. A tear flowed down just as I closed my eyes, flowing away with it.

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Big chapter! Not sure how I did. I think you guys will either like it or hate it so please tell me what you think. Took forever to do! Hope you liked it!

Also, I picked someone to play Albany! Picture on the side.