A/N: There's both Dani's and Eli's point of view in this chapter. I didn't want to give you a short chapter so I combined the 2. I hope the break is clear enough. For the last 2 chapters, I've been listening to Tom Odell's "Heal" and James Bay's "Let It Go". They're both beautiful songs and I think they fit the mood quite perfectly. Check them out and let me know what you think. So, enough of my rambling and I'll let you get to the chapter :)





Chapter One Hundred Eleven



Dani





I'm woken up by sunlight dancing across my face. I lay still for a few moments, trying to figure out exactly why I feel like I've been hit by a train. My head is pounding and it feels like I've been punched in the eyes. For a brief moment, I panic, thinking Eli still isn't back. Then I feel his arms tighten around me and I realize he's here and he's probably awake now. The memory of last night flickers through my mind and I let out an involuntary gasp.



Eli's voice is low and rough with sleep as he asks, "What's wrong?"



"I..."



My voice and words falter. What can I even say? I am so embarrassed by last night's events. I don't even know where to begin.



I simply say, "I'm sorry."



"Sorry? What for?"



I groan, "Last night. I'm so sorry."



"You don't need to apologize. What happened, Dani?"



I'm not going to remind him that he had to change me. That's just far too embarrassing.



"Just a nightmare."



"That wasn't just a nightmare, sweetheart. That was a bad one. Something was different about that one."



I shake my head. I can't talk about it. I don't want to remember again. I can't handle that after last night.



I whisper, "I need to shower..."



Eli's arms are still wrapped around my waist but he doesn't loosen them right away, which causes a panic to build up inside of me. I struggle against his arms and before I know what I'm doing, I plead, "Please let me go... Please don't hurt me..."



His arms are released instantly and his voice is strong when he speaks. "I would never hurt you, Dani. You must know this by now. But you're hiding again. You're retracting and I don't know how to stop that. You were in a mess last night and I don't know why. At least give me something..."



"I can't talk about it. I don't want to remember. I can't do that again."



I muster any bravery I have, and I walk to the bathroom. I know I'm not strong enough to withstand his questions for long. I'd hate to be interrogated by him. I have a feeling that wouldn't go so well for the people he's interrogating.



As I shower, I talk myself into building up my walls and putting on the calm and collected facade. I can't go into work a complete mess, but that's how I feel. I'm frightened for Eli and the team. That nightmare really scared me and I can't shake these feelings. Don might be right when he said I need to talk to Eli about it, but that requires bravery that I don't really have at the moment. I need to find that strength before I can approach the subject. By the time I'm finished getting ready for work, I feel like I've pulled myself together enough to get through the day.



Eli doesn't say anything as he leaves the bedroom and heads to the bathroom. I don't like this awkward tenseness we have going on here, but I don't have enough courage to clear the air. I also don't have the strength to relive the memories right now. My emotions are too raw to handle that.



Both breakfast and the journey to work are silent and tense. Neither Eli or myself do anything to ease the situation, but that gets pushed to the side once we get into work. Ash and Arrow are sitting in front of my desk when we arrive. For someone who says he doesn't want to be part of the team, Arrow is becoming quite a fixture here.



Both guys shoot us smiles and greetings as we approach. They stare at us carefully, considering something. Eventually, Ash asks, "Everything ok, guys?"



My voice betrays my words as I whisper, "Yes sir."



While Eli's voice is calm, smooth and all business as he says, "Let's get to work. Get me up to speed, Arrow."



Normally, I love how collected Eli is, but today I hate it. I hate the fact that he can just carry on like everything is normal while I feel like I'm falling apart. Nothing seems to affect him and I'm jealous of that. Arrow and Eli head to the briefing room, but Ash lingers behind at my desk.



His voice is soft as he grabs my attention, "Hey darlin'. What's going on? You're clearly not ok and don't even get me started on that guy..."



I try to smile at him, but I don't think I quite achieve my goal.



"Did he upset you? Because I'll take him to the training room and sort him out if he did..."



That actually does make me smile, mostly because I know Ash won't beat Eli. They like to tell me about the scores of their training sessions. Eli is way in front of Ash on the tally. I know that was Ash's aim when he says, "There's that smile. What's wrong, darlin'?"



I take a deep breath and let out a sigh, "Just a rough night. I get them sometimes."



He nods, reading between the lines.



"Is that because Eli wasn't with you?"



I shake my head. Although he probably would have been able to calm me down quicker, Eli being there wouldn't have stopped the nightmare.



"Anything you want to talk about?"



I shake my head but then pause. I tentatively ask, "How does he stay so focused and calm, Ash?"



He chuckles, "Eli is the king of being focused, although he's using work as a distraction for whatever happened. It's affecting him more than you know and probably more than he'd like to admit. Which is why he's putting his mind solely on work. He doesn't want you to see how much it affects him. Sometimes he thinks he's like some big, strong, caveman type and he doesn't like to show emotion. He's trying to protect you and himself. Just give him some time and maybe talk to him about it. If anyone can get him to talk about his feelings, it'll be you. You've changed him more than you realize. Just talk to him, Dani. Whatever it is, it will all work out. I promise."



My voice is quiet as I ask, "How can you promise that? How can you know?"



"Because I know Eli. He won't leave things this way. He loves you and he wants the best for you. You may have a little bump in the road every now and then, but he wants to make sure you're ok. Maybe he's just trying to figure out exactly how to do that right now. You'll see, it'll all be fine."



I nod and he asks, "You going to be ok now?"



"Yes sir. Thanks Ash."



"Any time, darlin'. I better get my butt in the briefing room before he calls for me."



Just as he's walking away, the Captain buzzes for me so I grab him a cup of coffee before heading to his office.







Eli's P.O.V.



As Arrow is filling me in about the hotel he's been watching, I don't miss the fact that Ash is out there talking to Dani. Obviously, I have no idea what they're talking about but I'm reminded again how much easier it seems for them to talk and be friendly. I like that they are friends and they like each other, but I am slightly jealous of the bond they have. It always seems more difficult for me to get that with Dani. I know she tells me things she would never say to anyone else. I also know she is more affectionate with me than she allows other people to be. I know she trusts me more than everyone, but it always feels like there's something we're fighting against. Dani doesn't seem to have that with Ash and Arrow.



Arrow's voice holds amusement when he says, "Dude, you even listening?"



"Yeah, armed men outside. Concealed hand guns. Carry on."



He chuckles, "She sure has a hold over you, doesn't she?"



I let out a deep sigh but don't answer. He doesn't need my words to know he's right.



"What's going on? You need to hit something or vent? You sure you can focus on this right now?"



I frown, "Of course I can focus. And no, I don't need to vent or hit anything. I'm fine."



"Sure, of course you are. Hey, don't give me that look. I'm not some newbie that has only known you a week. I know you way better than that. You don't want to talk about it, fine, just say so. Don't try to pretend to me. You know I can read through that trash."



"I don't want to talk about it."



"See? Was that so hard?"



I shoot him a smirk, "You forgetting who the commanding officer is here?"



"Er, we're not in active service, man. Besides, I'm not part of your team so I can do whatever I want, thank you very much..."



I know he's joking, but I put a blank look on my face and say, "Is that so? Then you'll have to leave the building I'm afraid. We can't have civilians on this case. It's too sensitive."



I must do a good job of holding my serious look, because he quickly says, "You need me on this, LT..."



"Oh, now you're remembering who the boss is, huh? Funny that."



I decide to put him out of his misery, "I'm just messing with you, man. You know there's no one else I'd trust with watching our backs out there."



He lets out a sharp breath, "You had me there for a second. Glad to see you can still pull one over on me. On a serious note though, is she ok?"



I shrug, "Rough night. She gets those sometimes."



"Not surprising really. She's been through a lot and I'm sure we don't even know the half of it. I'm certain you know more than anyone else, but you probably don't even know exactly what she's been through. It'll all work out, you'll see. Once we get this guy and his gang, she can start to heal properly."



I nod but don't tell him that us going after this guy is partly the problem right now. Just as Ash joins us in the briefing room, my cell rings. Sam's name flashes on the screen. That's unusual and I tell the guys I need to take the call before stepping into the rec room for some privacy.



"Hey Sam."



"Hi Eli, I hope I'm not disturbing you."



"Not at all. Is everything ok?"



"I was about to ask you the same thing actually. Is Dani ok?"



"Yeah, what makes you ask?"



"I had a text from her last night, canceling tonight's session. When I replied and asked her if everything was ok, she didn't reply. I tried calling her this morning, but I got no answer. I just wanted to make sure she's ok."



I quickly cover up for Dani. Sam doesn't need to know our personal problems.



"She fell asleep, that's probably why she didn't answer. Work has been pretty busy so she was wiped when we got home. She's ok thought. Thanks for checking."



"She needs another dose of Modecate tonight. I don't really think it's the wisest thing to miss the shot. She didn't say why she couldn't make the session and I want to make sure she's not having a relapse or anything."



"We've been working late most of this week. She probably thinks I won't be able to get her there. I'll see if I can rearrange my schedule and sort it out. Arrow might bring her or possibly my other friend, Ash. I'll let you know what's happening though."



"Thanks Eli. I'm just concerned about her, that's all."



"I know and I appreciate that. Thank you. I'll give you a call when I can."



I make my way to Dani's desk once I finish the call, but she's not there. I wait a few minutes and she appears from the Cap's office. She looks shocked to see me standing by her desk. Cue the awkwardness that we've been experiencing for most of this week. I don't like it, but now isn't the time to discuss it.



I speak in Russian, so no one can understand us. "Sam just called. She's worried about you because you cancelled tonight's session. How come you cancelled?"



She shrugs, "You've been working late."



"You know I'll make sure you get there. I'll ask Arrow or Ash to take you if I can't be there."



She sighs, "You've all been working late. You don't need to be worrying about how to get me to a shrink session."



She sounds disgusted with the fact she has to have these sessions. That's a new thing for her. She's never voiced any opinion about actually attending them.



"I'll always worry about you, Dani. If it's not how to get to you Sam's, it'll just be something else. Why did you really cancel?"



She stares at the floor before whispering, "I don't want to go."



"Ever again? Or just tonight?"



She's been doing so well and a lot of that has to do with Sam helping her, talking her through her problems and also giving her the medicine.



"I don't know."



We need to talk about this, but the Cap has just appeared with a serious look on his face.



I quickly say, "We'll have to talk about this later. The Cap has something for us. I'll get you there, Dani. One of us will take you, if you decide to go..."



The Cap interrupts me, "We've got a situation, Ramirez. Get the team ready to go. I'll brief you on route. Dani, I need you on coms, talking the guys through everything you see."



"Yes sir."



He gives her a location, and she starts calling up surveillance. It's a near a private critical care centre. My pop's had a job offer from them a while back, but he didn't accept it. He prefers to work in the ER. At this moment, I'm thankful he does. Whatever this situation is, it's never a good sign when we have to be called.



I grab the team and we suit up in the truck on the way to the location. Dani's voice filters through my ear piece. She sounds professional as she speaks, "There's a man outside the centre with weapons. I don't know what kind, but they're guns. According to the chatter on the local police comms, he's threatening to release a toxin or something. You'll have to assess when you arrive, because there are lots of different accounts of what is going on."



"Roger. Romanov, I need to you to monitoring the comms and the surveillance. You need to inform me of any changes. Get me the name of the officer in charge on the scene..."



"Detective Baker. Him and Detective Jones are the lead officers on the scene."



"Right. Guys, we'll have to hit the ground running. If there's even a chance this guy has any form of toxin then we need to be prepared for the fallout of this. Hawkins, you get CDC on the line and warn them of what might hit us. They need to be prepared in case we make the call. I'll deal with the detectives. Scott, you and Anderson get into position for a clean shot if you need to take it. The rest of you, fan out and make your presence known. Make sure the officers on scene know you're there and we're dealing with this. Romanov, once I get a name for this guy, I want you to run every background check you can. I need information."



"Yes sir."



My team never fails to impress me when we're in this kind of situation. As soon as we open the doors of the truck, they find their positions and get control of the crowd and officers. I quickly locate Baker and Jones.

I'm completely professional when I say, "Detectives. What have we got?"



They nod in my direction and Baker responds, "Joseph Tully. He's threatening to release the virus he has in that vial if we don't do what he says."



"Romanov, did you get that name? Joseph Tully. I would check the matches closest to this area first. It would be someone who has a link to this clinic."



"I'm on it, sir."



I turn my attention to the detectives again, "What's he asking for?"



"We don't know yet. He's been rambling about doctors being selective in their treatment, but no one has been able to get close enough to get a conversation going. He has some hand guns and what looks like a vest bomb on him."



Dani's voice filters through my earpiece, "Sir? I've got something. There's a Joseph Tully listed as a next of kin to an Emma Tully. She's on the clinic's records. She was refused treatment about three weeks ago. It seems like they don't have the funds for the treatment, but according to the records, it looks like her cancer has advanced too much for treatment anyway."



I don't ask how she got that information. I know her hacking skills have probably come into play right now, but if we're dealing with a possible epidemic, then it doesn't really matter how she got the information.



Her voice is dark as she says, "Oh no. Ramirez? I don't think he's kidding about the virus. He works as a biochemist for a local pharmaceutical company..."



"Send me the company's details."



"Baker, I need you to get some officers to that company and find out what Tully was working on or had access to. We need to have an idea of what we're dealing with here. I'm going to try to establish contact with him now. Scott, Anderson, you in position?"



Both guys give me an affirmative, so I say, "Keep a close eye on things down here. I'm going to establish contact with this guy. Watch my back."



"Yes sir."



As I approach Tully carefully, I throw some conversation at him. This is done partly to form a connection but also to distract him so I can move closer. I ask him if he needs anything and tell him I'm here to listen to what he has to say. I ask him what he's trying to achieve here.



He shouts angrily, "I want people to listen!"



I extend my arms and gesture to the crowd he's drawn. "Well, you've got all of our attention right now. So, why don't you tell me what you want us to hear."



"They're going to kill her..."



I ask, "Who?" Even though I know the answer, I still ask. It's all part of establishing communication. I need to let him think he has the upper hand and that he's giving me the information. If I start spouting off the facts, he's going to get angry.



"Emma."



"Who is Emma, sir?"



"My wife."



"And your name is?"



"Joseph."



I don't think he really wants to do any of this. He sounds almost defeated, but also angry.



"So, how are they going to kill your wife?"



"You think I don't know what you're doing? You're trying to get me to trust you so you can talk me out of this. Well, it's not going to work. The only way I'll stop is if they take my wife back in there and start her treatment again."



"Does your wife know what you're doing here today?"



"No."



"Well, you have to know that I can't let you hurt anyone here. I'd really rather end this peacefully, but you must know I have to do whatever is necessary..."



His eyes flash with anger, "You think that's the best thing to tell the man who is holding the vial of infectious disease?"



"Hey, I'm just being honest with you. If I told you we'd work this all out and promised to get the doctors to look at your wife, then you'd tell me I'm lying. Do you want to call your wife?"



"No."



I nod, "Will you at least tell me what you're holding in that vial?"



"No."



"Right, well, I'm just going back over there to see if I can talk to one of the doctors. I'll let you know what I come up with."



I step back to my team's truck and Dani comes over my earpiece.



"Ramirez?"



"Yeah, what have you got?"



"According to the company records, he's been working on something similar to hemorrhagic fever. He could have infected himself already. Does he look sick?"



"No. He looks fine. Hawkins, get the CDC to get a body temperature scanner down here. That should tell us if he's running a high temperature. That's usually one of the symptoms. He's obviously willing to die today, so there's no telling what this man has done already. Romanov, get the wife on the line and get her up to speed. She may be our chance of talking him down. DeMarco, establish contact with the doctor who treated Mrs Tully. We need more information about her status."



"Yes sir."



It takes some time to gather further information and Tully isn't moving. He wants his wife to be treated, despite not being able to afford it. He says he can't understand how a doctor, who swears an oath to heal and protect, can just let someone die purely because of finances.



"Joseph, did the doctors explain to you that treating her won't do anything? Your wife's cancer is too advanced for any kind of treatment. Are you willing to go through with this, knowing that you're going to let her die alone? Don't you want to be with her through every step, helping her and comforting her? Surely she would rather have you by her side than fact it alone."



"No, you don't understand. There's new treatments all the time. They can do something! They just don't want to because of the money. She's not going to boost their income, so they're throwing her away to die."



"They're not throwing her away to die. There's nothing more they can do for her. I understand that's a horrible prospect for you..."



"What do you even know? How can you possibly understand what this feels like?"



"I understand more than you know, sir. I was faced with a similar prospect myself, not too long ago..."



I hear Ash in my ear, "Ramirez..."



He's warning me about revealing personal information. I know the drill. I know not to give out information that could cause someone to locate or identify myself or my family.



I ignore Ash's warning and continue, "I know what it feels like to think you've lost someone. To never be able to tell them anything ever again. But I would never go about things this way. It's not going to achieve anything, Joseph. Let's say you drop that vial and infect all of us. Let's say you go down in a blaze of gun fire or you blow up all of us with that vest. Do you really think that's going to get your wife treatment? Who's to say she'd get it, even if there was a treatment available for her? You wouldn't be here to ensure she's taken care of, so not only will she die alone, but she'll die in pain because there will be no one to take care of her or pay for her to be cared for properly. Can you see how many ways this is a bad idea?"



"I'm not stupid. I'll make sure she's taken in to hospital first."



"So you can be certain she'll stay in hospital if you don't make it out of here?"



I hear a woman's voice off to my right, "Joey?! What are you doing?!"



Tully looks shocked to see who I'm assuming is his wife.



"Emma? What are you doing here?"



"Joey, you need to stop all this nonsense. This isn't you."



"You need to go home, Emma. You can't be here."



"I'm not going anywhere. If you're going to do something this stupid, then you're going to take me with you."



I'll hand it to the woman, she's a tough one. I suppose if you're already dying, you haven't got much more to lose.



"I'm getting you the treatment you need so you can live..."



"There are no treatments, Joey. Just stop this..."



This is only making matters worse. He's getting angry because she's here to see this and I need to diffuse the situation. Quickly.



"Mrs Tully, I'm the Lieutenant in charge here. Do you think you could come with me and answer some questions the detectives have for you? I know you don't want to leave your husband, but you might be able to help us resolve this situation."



She nods defeatedly and I walk her back to where Baker and Jones are. Baker takes her to the side and starts asking Mrs Tully questions about her husband's mental state. I tune that out when I hear one of the officer's say, "Why don't you just take the shot and end this?"



I send him a hard glare, "You're not the one who makes that call and you're certainly not the one who pulls that trigger. So excuse me if I'm trying everything possible to ensure one of my men doesn't have to take a life. Have you ever even fired your work piece?"



He shakes his head.



"There's a reason you're a patrol officer and not part of the SWAT team. Don't tell how to do my job, especially when you have no experience with making these kind of decisions or the repercussions of taking a life."



As I walk away, I speak to Ash and Cain. "Scott, if we can't talk this guy down, you guys will have to take the shot. We can't risk the fall out from this virus. You need to go make sure he doesn't lose his hold on that vial though."



"Yes sir, head shot, I got it."



"Wait for my signal."



"Yes sir."



"Hawkins, you and the rest of the team clear the area. We need to minimize casualties. Set a perimeter a few blocks away."



When I get back to where Tully is standing, he is seething. He's cursing us for bringing his wife here so she can see all of this. He's angry that we've put her life in danger. Ironic if you ask me. He's angry because he didn't want her to know what he was doing.



I quickly respond, "The only way you can make up for that and keep her safe is by giving me that vial and handing over your weapons. You can end this peacefully. It's up to you if you want your wife to be put in danger..."



He's not backing down and he's only getting more angry. Just as he makes a move to throw the vial in my direction, I say over the comms, "Green to go. I repeat, green to go."



The words have hardly left my mouth, when the shot is fired and Tully falls to the ground. I vaguely hear a woman's scream, but I'm more concerned about the vial and the vest bomb. So I quickly make my way over to Tully's body. The vial is in tact, still held in his hand and the vest hasn't triggered.



"Clean shot, guys. The vial is in tact. Get yourselves back to the truck so we can file the report with the detectives."



It's almost 4pm when we get back to the precinct. Dani's concentrating on her computer screens when we step onto the floor. She's typing up a storm on one screen and looking at another. I watch her for a few minutes before approaching her desk. To someone who doesn't know her better, she would seem in control and like everything was fine. But I know her better than that. I know she's upset, tired and stressed. We need to talk, but again, now is not the time. I do need to find out about tonight's session with Sam though.



When I'm standing in front of her desk, I whisper, "Hey."



She startles and looks up, before replying, "Hi. I'm glad you're all ok."



"Me too. That was pretty tense. I have to file reports and get Ash's account of everything. He took the shoot so we have to clear his weapon and go through the procedure of making sure it was a clean shot."



She frowns, "But don't you know that it was?"



"Yeah, we do, but it doesn't work like that on paper. We need to cover our backs in case of a law suit. It'll take me some time. Have you thought about tonight's session? You know you need another dose of medication tonight?"



She nods.



"I can get Arrow to take you. That worked out last time, didn't it?"



Well, I don't know if 'worked out' is the right term to use. She panicked and Sam nearly called Arrow in to calm her down, but she got there and back safely.



"Yeah."



"Will you go if Arrow takes you then?"



"Yes sir."



I sigh. She thinks I'm making her go.



"Dani, if you really don't want to go, then I'm not going to make you. You've made so much progress and Sam has a lot to do with that. I don't want you to have a set back because we've got some things to talk about. We will talk, but not now. This isn't the right place for that. I don't want you to think I'm forcing you to go tonight."



She nods and whispers, "I'll go."



"Ok. Thank you. I'll call Sam. And we'll talk when I get home, ok?"



"Yes sir."



"Have you seen Arrow?"



"No. He left straight after you guys. He said you'd know where he was."



"Ok, thanks."

I reach for her hand and give it a quick squeeze. "I'm glad I made it back safely."



I know it probably doesn't do much to relieve her stress, but it's a start. Until we can clear the air, that's going to have to do.