Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Two

Eli's P.O.V.



As Arrow and I sit in the living room to eat, I worry about what's going on with Dani. She's acting weird and I don't understand the sudden change. Arrow's voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

"She ok?"

I shrug and instantly regret the movement, letting out a groan of pain.

"I don't know, man. Maybe she's just tired. She didn't hear us come into the kitchen and we shocked her. It happens sometimes if she's taken off guard."

"Seeing that makes me so angry. I don't know how you hold it together. I'd want to rip some heads off or something."

I sigh, "I do. Every day I want to punish someone for the way they've treated her. Actually, multiple times a day, but I know that's not going to help her. I stay calm because I have to. If I don't, she'll panic even more. She is the way she is, and I love her for the way she is; scared parts, bad bits and all."

Arrow chuckles, "You're going soft on us, Eli. I never thought I'd see the day."

I smile at the thought, "Your day will come. Ash's too. I'll just sit back and wait for it. Then I can remind you of all the times you ribbed me for it."

"Fair enough. Although, I think you'll be waiting for pigs to fly if you're waiting for me to settle down. That's not my style. I'm not that guy."

"That's what we all say. Just you wait."

I take the sling off so I can eat and switch the TV on. We settle into silence while we eat and watch some random daytime program. My thoughts are still on Dani's strange behavior, but I know I'll have to wait until she's ready to discuss it.

Arrow leaves a few hours later, but before he goes, he triple checks that Dani is ok. Again, I notice that she's more comfortable with him than anyone else, maybe even Ash. It's like they've shared something that only both of them can relate to. Obviously, I would never ask what that is. It's private between the two of them, but I do notice the difference in their conversations. I'm glad she feels like she can be more comfortable around him.

I see Arrow out and then head back into the kitchen. Dani is cleaning up the lunch mess so I stand and watch her for a few minutes. She's muttering to herself in a language I don't know but I like hearing her talk in different languages. I love how natural it sounds coming from her lips. It's like she was born speaking every language she's learned.

I whisper, "Hey... You doing ok?"

She nods and then shrugs, like she's not sure about her answer.

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not yet."

"Ok.How about we take a nap? I didn't realize I would get so tired so quickly."

"You're recovering, it's going to make you tired. You should really be resting, Eli."

"I will, when you rest too. Come on, everything else can wait until later."

I make an attempt to take my t shirt off, but I get stuck with half of my arm out of the sleeve. I let out a hiss of pain and then say, "Babe? I need your help. I can't get out of the t shirt. Can you just pull that sleeve please?"

I attempt to move again, but Dani's voice is stronger than I've heard it in a long time, as she says, "Wait! You'll rupture your stitches. I'll help you."

The shirt is half covering my face, so my smile is masked by the fabric. She's worried about me. While I don't like the fact she's feeling worried, it does remind me that she cares. Dani helps me out of my shirt and then she checks the dressings.

"No blood, thankfully. Your stitches must be in tact. Eli?"

"Yes baby?"

"Why did you refuse the pain medication? You're in pain and you need them."

"I don't want them."

"Is it because of me? Do you think I'll be tempted to take them?"

"Not really. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable with me having them in the house. I know you struggle making it through each day clean and I don't want to add to that burden. I don't want you to worry about me not being myself on the meds. I know that you'll be wondering if I'm going to turn into Cain and I won't do that to you. I also don't want to risk getting an addiction like him. His situation shows me that people can easily get addicted to meds. I won't let that be me. Nothing is going to change my mind. I'm doing this for myself first and then you."

"But you're hurting. I don't like to see that."

Now I shoot her my full smile, "I love that you care, I really do. I'm ok, Dani; I promise. As long as you're here, then I don't need any drugs. You make me feel better and that's all I need. I got shot, I can deal with that pain. You went through way worse and I feel like I'd be throwing your pain back in your face if I take meds just for a couple bullets. I am fine, baby. Honest. Please don't worry."

"So you'll make sure you rest more, then?"

I chuckle, "Who's been teaching you negotiating skills? Do I have Ash to thank for that?"

"No sir. That's all you."

I laugh and then realize the vibrations hurt my wounds too much.

"I'll rest more, I promise."

"Thank you."

While we lay in bed, I hold Dani close and run my fingers up and down her arm. Her fingers are dancing just shy of the dressing on my chest andI know she's lost in her thoughts. I clear my throat to snap her out of it and then say, "Don't do that. Don't blame yourself. I know what you're doing and I won't allow that to happen. That's on the guy who shot me; not you."

She takes a deep breath, "Do you... know who... did it?"

I think she's curious about the answer but also scared to find out. She probably knows it's someone she's seen before and then she'll be able to put a face to whoever hurt me.

"I do. Are you sure you want to know?"

"No. I don't know. I think I need to think about it first."

"Ok. Do you want to talk about earlier?"

I hear her hold a breath, so I'm not expecting an answer to that. I'm surprised when she whispers, "You make me scared... Not in the way I'm usually scared. I don't know how else to describe it..."

"You were nervous? That's why you were shaking when we got home?"

She nods ever so slightly and I think she's embarrassed.

I ask, "Do you think I'm going to hurt you? Is that why you're scared?"

She sounds shocked as she speaks, "Oh! No! No, not that kind of scared. I don't know how to explain it..."

She starts rambling and I let her continue. I like to listen to her rambles. They don't happen very often but they reassure me she has changed and things are still changing for the better.

"How is that even possible? I can recite a whole book after reading it once but I can't explain what I mean? Danica, you really are crazy. How is he supposed to know what you mean if you don't even know what you mean...?"

I bring her hand up to my mouth and kiss the back of her hand.

"Dani? You think this has anything to do with the fact you said you love me? It seems like too much of a coincidence that this is happening now."

She takes in a sharp breath, "He said that."

I frown, "Who said that?"

I start to worry, thinking someone has been listening to us or stepping over the line in talking to Dani, but her next words ease my fears.

"My poppa. He said that."

"Maybe he's right. I think the nerves are because you're starting to realize your feelings. Your head and heart are starting to come together. I know it's daunting for you, baby, but it's not a bad thing. Well, unless you don't want to love me; then that's a problem..."

"Don't say that."

She must notice she's basically given me an order or told me what to do, because she holds her breath and backs off slightly. I know I can't pull her closer because she'll panic at that gesture, so I simply kiss the palm of her hand before speaking again.

"Obviously, that's not what I want to hear, but I don't want you to feel like you have to like me or love me. Everything is supposed to be your choice, otherwise you'll end up resenting me or being scared of me. I don't ever want you to be frightened of me or think that I'm like any of them..."

"I know you're not. I do honestly believe that. I just don't understand some of the things other people consider normal."

"I know that. I'd prefer it if you talked to me about it though, instead of getting yourself so worked up over it. I don't like seeing you like that."

"I'm sorry. I don't even understand it myself. I had no idea how to explain it to you."

"I know that now. I'm sorry you're scared though. You shouldn't have to feel frightened about this kind of thing. It's a natural feeling and you should have to feel like it's a scary thing."

"So, because I said I love you then I'm going to be a nervous wreck everytime I'm with you?"

"Probably for a little while, yes."

"That makes no sense. Did you feel like that?"

I have no intention of lying to this woman, so I honestly say, "I still do sometimes."

She sounds shocked at my revelation, "Really?"

"Yes. When you smile at me, or when you do something you haven't been able to do before, or when you admit you love me, that sends my nerves into a frenzy. You just have that effect on me. Sometimes it's just a simple gesture that sparks it, but I still feel it."

She lets out a puff of air, "I would never have known. You're better than me. I could never hide my body's reaction like that..."

"I'm not better than you. We're different. I could never recite a whole book, but you can. I have a whole load of training, remember. Besides, I knew that letting you see that side of me would scare you. I never want to do that, so I had to hide it."

"I'm sorry."

"No, don't be sorry. You weren't ready to know that. I think that it makes our bond stronger because everything is because you chose it; not because I made you do anything."

"Thank you."

"Do you trust me, Dani?"

She hesitates slightly before answering. I know that hesitation means she's nervous.

"Yes..."

Her voice isn't as sure as her word, so I know she's worried about what I'm going to do.

"I want to try something. I know you've been having awful nightmares about Greggson's man and him strangling you..."

Her breath hitches. She's been having those nightmares pretty much every night since I woke up. I want to see if I can break the cycle.

"I want to try and stop them, but I need to know you trust me. I need to know that you believe I'm not going to hurt you. I have to know you're ok with what I'm going to do, otherwise I won't do it."

Eventually, she finds her voice and she tentatively whispers, "What are you going to do?"

"I want to kiss away the bad memories of his hands around your neck. I want you to associate good memories instead of his awful memories. I want to see if telling your brain something good happens before you go to sleep, will help you to not have the dream again. Will you let me do that?"

She takes in a shaky breath and I can almost hear her tossing it over in her mind. I think the prospect of possibly not having the nightmare and having a good memory sways her decision, because she whispers, "Ok."

"I promise I'm not going to hurt you and if you want me to stop at anytime, you just have to say so, ok?"

She nods, but I can see how wide eyed she is. She's scared, but she's trying to trust me. My heart swells with pride at how brave she really is.

I whisper, "It's ok, baby. It's just me. I promise everything is going to be ok. Let me make some good memories for you."

She's laying on the bed, staring at me, and I tentatively place my lips on her neck. As soon as my lips touch her skin, Dani inhales a sharp breath and I can feel her shaking. From the corner of my eye, I see her grab the sheets. She's holding them so tightly in her clenched fists, that her knuckles are turning white. I speak, but don't move my lips from her neck.

"It's just me, baby. It's your Eli. I swear nothing bad is going to happen to you. I promise I won't hurt you. Take a deep breath and please trust that I'm trying to help you..."

She takes a deep, but shaky, breath while I continue to place kisses over her neck. I pay particular attention to the parts that strangling hands would have been. Once that journey is completed, I kiss along her jawline, her cheeks, nose, forehead and then I kiss away the tears that have fallen.



As I lay next to her again, I whisper, "Have good dreams now, sweetheart."





A/N: Ok, so it's not a super long chapter, but the ending is awesome, right? Aren't you so proud of Dani? I'm thrilled she's made so much progress and I'm the one writing it lol. Hope you all enjoyed the chapter. I'll try to update a bit quicker this time :D