Chapter Sixteen



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(Eli's POV)

Now I know something really is going on. There's no way Dani would step that close to me if there wasn't. I still can't believe she did that. It's like she was using me for protection. That's pretty cool. I honestly didn't think I'd see the day, but she must be making progress. I mean, I know she tolerates my company but having her choose to let me protect her is entirely different. Protect her from what though? She's seen Cain before; he's always floating around somewhere, just like the rest of the guys. I look over at Dani and she looks frightened. There's panic in her eyes. Most people probably wouldn't notice it, but I've seen her at home when she's in a more relaxed mood. Her eyes tell a different story depending what mood she's in.

“Dani? What's wrong?”

“Nothing. Just tired, sir. I'd like to go home to bed please.”

“Sure. I'll walk you home and let you rest.”

She nods and I don't know why but I feel like a door has been slammed in my face. She doesn't seem as comfortable or open. She's been quiet since last night, but seeing Cain has made her worse. Has he really unsettled her that much?

A million thoughts are running through my mind and as I walk Dani into her apartment, I say, “Dani, if there was something wrong you'd tell me, wouldn't you? Like if something happened, you'd say, right?”

She looks confused. “If someone did something, upset you, or whatever you'd tell me?”

“Why do you ask that, sir?”

Evasion, I'm not liking that. “Because you've been more quiet than usual. Since last night you've been acting different.”

“I'm just tired, Eli. I've had loads of work to do.”

“I know. But you'd tell me, wouldn't you?”

She hesitates and then says, “Yes sir.”

“I mean it, Dani. If something happened I need to know.”

“Yes sir.”

“Ok. Get some rest and I'll speak to you tomorrow.”

I'm half-way out the door when Dani whispers, “Eli?”

“Yeah?”

“I'm sorry.”

“Sorry? For what?”

“For... everything.”

“You don't need to be sorry, sweetheart. Just let me help you. Get some sleep.”

As I make my way home, I can't help but wonder if Dani thinks I treat her like a child. In some ways I guess she is child-like. And I don't mean that in a creepy weird stalker way. Sometimes her mindset is just so simple and child-like. It's a little bit like things have to be explained and laid out for her. Maybe that's because of the lifestyle she had before. I imagine whoever held her told her what to think and what to do 24/7. It's not something I like to think about so I try to shove those thoughts to the back of my mind. I can't go there or it will drive me insane. Sometimes it's the not knowing that's worse, especially when you've seen what can and does happen. I don't know what actually happened to Dani, but my mind keeps straying to all the awful things I've seen and some of the teams have seen. It doesn't make for a pretty picture, let me assure you. I'd rather just know what happened and deal with it. I know Dani isn't ready to talk about it in detail though.

When I get home, the light on my voicemail is flashing letting me know I have a new message. As I press play, I hear my mom's voice and I smile. She's just checking in and making sure I'm still going to dinner tomorrow. The family do a big dinner every Sunday, except I've missed the last few as I've been with Dani. They want to meet her, but she's not ready for that.

I call my mom back and let her know I'll be there for dinner. When I hang up, I don't actually know what to do with myself. I've been with Dani so much recently that I haven't spent much time at home or by myself. I decide to settle on the couch and watch a movie. Shortly after I press play I fall asleep.

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(END of Eli's POV)



I breathe a sigh of relief when Eli has gone. Not because I don't want him to be here; more because I do want him here. The fact that I like his company more and more scares me so much. I also don't like lying to him and I don't want him to find out I am lying. The more he's around me, the more likely he is to figure it out. It'll all go horribly wrong if he finds out. Everything will change and it will be all my fault. I have to just keep it hidden and hope for the best. I need to start distancing myself from these people. They are part of the work team, nothing else.

I find myself extremely bored on Sunday. I can't sleep because every time I close my eyes I dream. I keep seeing those evil eyes, those hands touching me, the cigarettes, the drugs, just everything flashes before my eyes. That's the downside of a photographic memory, I don't forget anything I've seen. I'll never get rid of those images because my brain doesn't allow it. It's like the wiring isn't programmed to forget.

I get into work at 4am on Monday morning purely because I can't sleep. I'm sure I look like death and if it wasn't for my make up I'm sure I'd be sent home. The bruising on my cheek and arm are starting to turn an ugly color. In a sick way it makes me feel normal. It makes me feel like I used to, that was my normal. The constant beatings, the daily bruises, the covering up for the next client. The major difference is, back then I'd have been on all kinds of drugs to mask the pain. Sure, I'm not in pain now, but sometimes I wish I could go back to masking the mental and emotional pain. The dulling of my senses is what I crave when it all gets too much for me.

I jump when the Captain appears in my line of vision. I jump back after I realize just how close he is. He frowns and says, “You ok, Danica?”

“Yes sir, sorry. You just scared me, sir.”

“Sarah is off sick, can you take her work load please?”

“Yes sir. I'll bring your coffee in right away.”

“Thank you. The guys are running training today; Cain's been shooting over the weekend. I'll need you to write up the results. I'm waiting for a call back from the department shrink. It's very important that I speak to him. Ok?”

“Yes sir.”

I let out a deep breath when he disappears. This is going to be a long day and I haven't even seen the guys yet. I'm sure Eli is going to be peeved at me. I ignored all of his calls yesterday. I just text him to say I was fine, although I'm not sure he believed me.

I grab the Captain's coffee, dump Sarah's files on my desk to add to the already huge pile and I get cracking. I don't know how long I was buried in my work when I heard someone clear their throat. I look up and I see Ash.

He smiles at me. “Hey. No offense Dani, but you don't look so good.”

I manage to force a tiny smile as I say, “No offense taken, sir. Just been a long morning.”

“Early start?”

“Yes sir. Do you need the Captain?”

“Yeah. Is he in?”

“Yes sir.”

“What kind of mood is he in?”

I shrug, “He's had his coffee.”

“Good, it can't be that bad then.”

He chuckles as I let the Captain know Ash is on his way in. I'm just about to open another file, when Cain appears. I panic and I knock all the files off my desk. I freeze for a few seconds, I don't even breathe. I don't know what he's going to do and I don't want to be anywhere near this man. He's different; something has changed and I really don't like it. When he doesn't move, I make a start to pick up the files, making sure I keep an eye on where he is.

As I reach for a file, he reaches out for my hand. He's quicker than I am and he grabs my hand forcefully. I try to snatch my hand away, but he's too strong. My heart is racing and I think it's about to burst out of my chest and end my life right here. I manage to whisper, “Don't touch me.... Please, just don't.... touch me...”

He grits out through clenched teeth, “We're running training today. Don't mess with my results or you will be very sorry. Do you understand me?!”

I can't speak or move. He's touching me; he's hurting me. I just panic. I see those eyes, I feel those hands. Cain's hand slides up my arm and his touch has changed. He's not so forceful; he's touching me like he wants something more. This is my chance. He hasn't got a firm grip on me and I fly away from him as fast as I can and run to the bathroom, tears streaming down my face.

I don't see anyone or anything, just that ladies room door. I don't see Ash and I certainly don't see Eli.



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(Eli's POV)

I see Dani all but run away from her desk and straight to the ladies bathroom. Already alarm bells are ringing, but when she nearly knocks Ash flying, those alarm bells are screaming at me. I head to Dani's desk and see all her files strewn across the floor, but no one else is there. Was she right on Saturday when she said she's going crazy? She can't be, there has to be a logical explanation for everything. There has to be. She wouldn't start using again, would she?

I stare at Ash, who looks just as confused as me.

“What the heck was that, Ash?”

“No idea, man. She was fine a few minutes ago. I just saw her. Well, she looked like cr... er, death warmed up, but she even cracked me a tiny smile. She was fine. You want me to go check on her? The Cap wants you.”

I sigh and nod. “Come get me if it's bad.”

“Will do.”

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(END of Eli's POV)



I hear the bathroom door open and I hold my breath, not wanting to give away my location.

“Dani? It's Ash. Where are you darlin'?”

A sob betrays me, and I see Ash's boots under my stall door.

“What happened darlin'?”

“Nothing, sir. Just tired. I'm sorry.”

“It can't just be that you're tired, Dani. You want me to get Eli?”

“No! No sir, please, I'm ok.”

I hear the disbelief in his voice when he just says my name. “Dani.... You remember what I told you the last time I was in here?.... I told you if anyone even attempts to make you uncomfortable I'll clean up what Eli leaves over. You remember that?”

“Yes sir.”

“Right. So how can we clean up anything if you don't let us know what we have to clean? Can you just come out here so I can see you?”

“I'm fine, sir, honestly. I just get a bit emotional when I'm overtired.”

“Ok, so just humor me and let me see you. I'll even go stand by the hand dryer...”

I hear the door open again and panic rises up in me. I hear a lady say, “Have you forgotten what gender you are?! This is the ladies room. You teams really think you own the building, don't you....”

Ash didn't miss a beat, “Actually, I never forget what gender I am, but thanks for your concern. I've actually got a sick friend, so if you don't mind we'd like some privacy. Thanks so much.”

I hear the door open again and someone storm out muttering under their breath. Ash chuckles, “It's just too easy with some people. You see what I have to deal with just for you, Dani?”

I choke back a sob, knowing he didn't mean it the way I take it. In my mind, it just reenforces the fact that I'm a burden to everyone. That I put people out all the time.

Ash sighs and says, “I'm not really helping, am I? I should get Eli, he's better at this. I'm coming back, hang on.... I don't suppose you're going anywhere, so that's a pretty dumb thing to say Ash. Just... I'll be back Dani.”

I try to calm myself down as best as I can and then I feel Cain's touch on me, I remember how his hands felt on my arm and it just brings back too many memories for me to suppress. So when Eli and Ash appear at the stall door, I'm sobbing my little heart out.

I hear the concern in Eli's voice when he asks me what's wrong. It tears at me even more when I hear how worried he is.

“Dani, talk to me. Just tell me what's going on...”

I manage to choke out, “Can't.... breathe....”

“Hey, hey. Just listen to my voice, count with me...”

He starts counting, but I choke out again, “Eli..... can't.... breathe.....”

He can hear me panicking, more so than usual so he flies into the next stall and jumps up to the top of the divider between the cubicles. He looks at me and then says, “Dani, look up. Look at me. You need to calm down, sweetheart. Just calm down.”

My breathing is really ragged and I'm scared I'm going to pass out. “Can't.....”

“Ok, ok. Ash, go sort the team out. I got this..... Don't argue, just go.”

After Ash leaves, Eli looks down at me again. I'm not calming down, so he says, “Dani, don't freak out. I'm coming down there... Shhh, it's just me. Don't panic even more, I'm just going to help you. You need to calm down sweetheart. You're going to pass out if you don't.”

As he's talking, he's sliding down the wall as slowly as he can, trying not to scare me even more. Before I know it, he's standing in front of me, giving me as much space as the cubicle will allow. I back off as much as I can and I'm crouching on the back of the toilet seat. “Dani, you've got to get a hold of yourself. You have to calm down.”



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(Eli's POV)

What the heck has got her so freaked out? I can't let this continue or she will pass out. My gun is in my holster, so I slide it out trying not to make any sudden movements. I try to hand Dani the gun, but she's just shaking her head at me. This is bad. I decide to take drastic measures. “Dani, give me your hand.... Just try to trust me for a minute.”

I slowly reach for her. As I touch her hand, she tries to snatch it back, but I carefully hold onto it. I can feel her trembling under my touch and she's sobbing. I place Dani's hand over my heart as I whisper, “Shhhh, just trust me. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise.... Just try to feel my heartbeat under your hand. Count the beats. Just try to be quiet and feel the beat of my heart....”

My own heart is racing. Partly out of fear and partly because of her touch. I close my eyes and rest my head on the stall door as I work on slowing my own heart rate. It feels like a lifetime before Dani's breathing returns to the higher end of normal. I don't move, just waiting for her to calm down fully, not realizing this probably won't happen. I'm touching her, she's touching me. That's already enough to send her into a frenzy.

I open my eyes slowly and I see her just staring at my hand. I don't know if she's willing it to move, silently begging me to let go or what. Suddenly I feel awful for making her do that. I drop her hand slowly and she snatches it back quicker than I expect. I mumble, “Sorry, I just didn't know how else to calm you down...”

She nods and backs up a bit.

“What happened Dani?”

She's quiet for a minute and when she finally speaks, her voice is croaky and her nose is stuffy. “I just... remembered... things...”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No sir.”

“Ok.”

I look at her; her make up has run and that nasty bruise is visible. I take in her disheveled appearance and then something on her arm catches my attention. I frown, and try to look closer without moving. Her sleeve has risen up and I can see her elbow. Before I've even thought about it I blurt out, “What's that?”

She looks confused and then she follows my line of vision. She immediately pulls the sleeve down and she starts to panic again. “Hey, hey. Calm down. I'm not angry with you. I just want to know what it is.”

“It happened when I fell down the stairs...”

“It looks like a thumb print.”

“It's not, sir. You have to get to training and I've got lots of work to do.”

“Forget all of that. Something is going on.....”

She blurts out, “I'll get in trouble again, please....”

She gasps and her hands fly over her mouth, like she just notices what she's said.

“What do you mean again? Dani?.... What do you mean? Who did you get in trouble with?”

She doesn't answer.

“Come on, Dani. Give me something here. You can't even imagine all the scenarios I'm flicking through in my mind right now.”

She sighs and looks at the floor before whispering, “The Captain.”

“When did he tell you off? What happened?”

“Friday. I should have given Cain's results to you earlier..... I'm sorry.... I messed up, I'm so sorry...”

I shut my eyes, and try to calm down. Inside I'm fuming. I never thought I'd want to punch the Cap, but right now I'm imagining doing a whole lot worse.

“Dani, it's not your fault. It's not even your job to do that. You're supposed to analyze the threat data, not be our personal computer. It's not your fault, you hear me?”

She whispers, “Really?”

“Really. Because you're so good at your job and because you just get on with it, the Cap adds to your work load. He trusts you with extra work, but with that trust comes extra disappointment when something goes wrong. He's probably angry with himself because he put too much on your plate and because he should have checked the results himself. I'll talk to him and sort it out. Ok?”

She nods.

“You ok now?”

She shrugs.

“Dani, I gotta move forward so I can open the door. You going to be ok if I come closer?”

Her eyes widen and then she almost shouts, “Wait! Wait, just wait, please...?”

“Ok, ok. Anything you want, sweetheart. Just tell me what you want me to do.”

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(END of Eli's POV)



Oh my goodness! I can't believe I actually let myself get into this situation. What was I thinking?! I wasn't thinking, that's the problem. He touched me! I touched him! No, no, no. This isn't good. My head is screaming at me, telling me all manner of negative and demeaning things. But my heart whispers, 'Nothing happened, did it? You're safe, aren't you? Didn't he just try to help you? Didn't he succeed? Just work with the poor guy.'

I stand up on the back of the toilet bowl, as far away from Eli as I can get and then I say, “Ok, go on.”

He opens the door and slips out of the stall. I let out a huge sigh of relief, but I also feel a little colder. That confuses me, but I don't have time to think about it before Eli asks, “You need me to get your purse?”

I take a brief look at myself in the mirror and cringe. I mumble, “Wow, nice look, Danica. How did he not run away?”

Eli must have heard me, because he chuckles.

“I'll be back in a minute, ok?”

While Eli's gone, I work on getting rid of my panda eyes. My eyes are red and puffy from crying, my cheeks are swollen and my nose is blocked. Add to that the bruise and the tiredness, and I must look a real treat; not. I sigh, disappointed with myself for freaking out so badly. I can't seem to help it. I can't stop myself from going back to those awful memories, no matter how hard I try. Eli appears in the mirror and he smiles at me.

“Ok?”

“Yes sir. I'm sorry.”

“No need to be sorry. I'm glad I could help. I'm sorry I scared you more though.”

I see something in his eyes, a tiredness that wasn't there before. I know he's really trying, I know he really wants to help me, and I know I need to give him something. I know I need to let him know it's ok.

“I just.... it just makes me remember.”

“What does? Touch?”

I nod.

“I'm sorry sweetheart. You can't go through life like that though. You have to find a way to deal with it, to work through it...”

“I know. I'm trying, Eli, I am trying.”

“I know. We'll get there, baby. We will.”

He smiles and winks at me before saying, “I have to get to work. You going to be ok now?”

“Yes sir, thank you.”

“You're welcome. I would say any time, but I don't really want you to freak out. But when you do need me, I'm there. I'll be back to see you later, after the training.”

He says his goodbyes and I sort myself out before slipping back to my desk.

As soon as the training scenario ends, I gather the data and process it. After I have the results, I give them to the Captain.

“Thank you Dani. Has the department shrink returned my call?”

“No sir. Would you like me to try him again?”

“Please. It's important I speak with him today, especially after seeing this.”

“Yes sir.”

I go back to my desk and dial the number for the department shrink. After he picks up, I say, “Good afternoon sir, this is Danica Romanov calling from Captain Michael's office. He's asked me to call you as he needs to speak with you urgently. Yes sir, I'll put you through now...”

I put him through to the Captain and carried on working. My intercom buzzes 10 minutes later and the Captain says, “Dani, I need to speak to Eli. Could you find him for me please?”

“Yes sir.”

I didn't need to look far, Eli is in the rec room. But so are the rest of the team. I stand near the doorway, but Eli isn't the first to notice me; Cain is. I freeze. I can hear Ash and Cameron calling my name, but I can't speak. I'm too concerned with what Cain is doing. When Eli appears in front of me, I jump back and gasp. He frowns, “Dani?”

“Oh! Sorry sir. The Captain needs to see you.”

As I turn to walk away, Eli whispers, “You ok?”

“Yes sir, sorry. Just got distracted.”

I sit at my desk, as Eli goes into the Captain's office.



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(Eli's POV)

I knock on the Cap's door before entering. I sit before he says, “We have a bit of a problem. It's Cain. His accuracy is 73%, according to this morning's results.”

“We're sure the computer is right?”

“Yeah, but hang on a second.... Dani? Could you come in here please?”

I frown, not understanding what he needs with Dani. She quietly enters the room and says, “Yes sir?”

“Could you just quickly go through Cain's stats and make sure the computer has calculated them correctly please?”

“Yes sir.”

She takes the papers and her eyes fly over the page. I hear her speaking in another language; it sounds like counting. It's only about 2 minutes later when she puts the papers down and says, “Yes sir, they're correct.”

“100% positive?”

“Yes sir. 100%.”

“Ok, thanks.”

She goes again, and I look at the Captain in confusion. “What was that? How did she....? What did she just do...?”

“She's special, Eli. Speed reader, photographic memory.”

“What? Really?”

“Yep.”

“Wow, no wonder she has so many books.”

The Cap chuckles and says, “That's all you can say? I tell you she has a photographic memory and you can only make a comment about her books?”

“No, well, yeah. I'm just shocked is all. Anyways, what are we going to do about Cain?”

“We have to remove him from field duty. Department policy. He'll have to be on desk duty or coms until his accuracy is higher then 80%.”

“That's not going to go down well. You want me to tell him?”

“No, I'll do it. I've spoken to the department shrink. He cleared Cain for duty, but was a little concerned with his concentration. Paul said Cain seemed to distracted but he brushed it off saying he wanted to get back to work, that he was bored of sitting at home.”

“And Paul didn't think to mention this to us?”

“Obviously not. You know how the teams get when they're benched for any length of time. We probably would have shrugged it off to. I'll talk to him.”

“Yes sir... Cap?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you have words with Dani on Friday?”

“Yes. Why?”

“She's concerned about it. She thinks it's all her fault, that you're not happy with her work.”

“She should have told us the results sooner...”

“She shouldn't really be processing those results, sir. She's a threat analyst, not our personal computer or personal assistant. I know she takes on those roles, but it's not in her job description.”

The Cap sighs and says, “I know, I know. She's just so good at everything I give her that I guess I take her for granted. Is she really that upset? I thought she was acting a bit off.”

I decide to take a bit of a leap, silently praying Dani doesn't find out or hate me. “She's got issues, sir. You just have to be a bit careful with what you say to her.”

“She's jumpy, huh? I've noticed that, but I just left it alone because it doesn't affect her work. Anything I need to be aware of?”

“I can't really talk about it. That wouldn't be right.”

“I understand. I'l clear it up with her and I'll talk to Cain.”

“Thanks, Cap. Anything else?”

“Get the guys to run a fitness session tomorrow morning. Cain can sit it out though, I think that'll be a sting in the tail for him.”

I nod and make my way back to the rec room. As I pass Dani's desk, I ask, “Dinner tonight?”

She looks up and answers, “I have lots of work to finish, sorry sir.”

“I can wait for you.”

“I might be a long time.”

Her intercom buzzes and I hear the Cap ask her to tell Cain he wants him. Her face pales and I see her gulp. I frown at her reaction, but she stands up and I can see her hands shaking.

“I can tell him if you want. Don't stop your work.”

She lets out a long breath and whispers, “Thank you, sir.”

I hear the relief in her voice and something doesn't sit right with me. I just can't pin point what it is.

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(END of Eli's POV)