Chapter Thirty-One

It has been a few weeks since the whole Russian businessman/bank op incident. Things have been ok, I guess. Eli and I are closer, I think. He's laid off asking me too many questions, because my nightmares have been pretty bad and I've been quite on edge. I know he wants to ask why I've been more on edge, but he's refrained from doing so. I am thankful for this because I really don't want to lie to him. I can't answer that question and not lie to him. Paul has been in and out of the office, asking me lots of questions, trying to find out anything he can. He just creeps me out, but I'm trying not to let that show. I know he'll love that; me freaking out because of him. I have to be honest, it's wearing my nerves very thin and I don't know how much longer I can keep up the facade.

He keeps talking about Cain and bringing up the whole incident. I think he's trying to read my expressions to find out what happened. Obviously the Captain and Eli haven't said anything to him about it. Probably so Cain's record is kept clean from the harassment part of it. I don't think he meant to do it; I think it was just the drugs that caused it to happen.

Eli has been working late a few nights a week, and we've kind of settled into a routine of me going home and making dinner before he gets there. It's a Thursday evening and we're just sitting down to eat when Eli's cell rings. He smiles as he picks up.



Eli's POV

“Hey ma. I'm good, thanks. How are you and dad?”

“We're good. I was wondering when we get to meet this girl you've been spending all your time with...?”

“I don't know, ma. I don't think it's a good idea just yet...”

“Elijah, you father and I would really like to meet her.”

I groan, this is not going to go as planned. I can't even speak Spanish because Dani will understand me. “Ma, this is not a good idea...”

“You trying to keep her to yourself? She must be special if you're hiding her away like this...”

“You have no idea, trust me.”

“It'll just be your father and myself. That's not so difficult, is it?”

“I'll ask. But be prepared for the answer to be no, ok? I just don't think it's a good time, that's all.”

“Ask, you might be surprised by the answer. Thank you, Elijah. Either tomorrow night or Saturday night works well. Your father isn't working those nights.”

“Ok, Ma. I'll ask and let you know.”



Dani's POV

He sighs as he hangs up and I just watch him. I'm worried about his weary expression, so I whisper, “Is everything ok, sir? Do you need to go?”

“No, no. Everything is fine. It's just my Ma being pushy again.”

“I'm sure it's just because she cares.”

“Oh, I know that. Sometimes it's just a little too much. She likes to interfere.”

“Oh.”

“There's no easy way to ask, so I'm just going to say it. She want us to go to dinner with her and my dad. It'll just be the four of us and you don't have to if you don't want to. If you think you're not ready for it then I'll just say we can't go. It's no big deal, honestly.”

At that moment I'm filled with fear, but I also remember how much this man has done for me. I have to at least make an effort, don't I? I have to show him I'm trying. I don't want him to get angry with me for not at least attempting to have a go at recovering. I sigh and say, “If I freak out, you'll help me, right? You'll let your parents know that I'm not being rude or anything, won't you?”

He looks shocked. “Dani, you don't have to do this. I know you're scared and I don't want you to feel like we're forcing you to do this.”

“No, it's ok. I have to try, don't I? Just promise me you won't let them think I'm being rude.”

“I promise. I'll make sure you're ok. Thank you, sweetheart. DO you want to go tomorrow or Saturday?”

“What would you prefer?”

“Tomorrow night. I have something planned for early Saturday morning though.”

“Oh, ok. You're not working late tomorrow night?”

“Nope. I finished what I needed to do.”

“Ok.”

“Dani, it's going to be ok. I promise nothing will happen to you.”

“Ok.”

I know he's trying to ease my fears, and I know it shouldn't be any more scary than going to work, but it is. There's a lot of extra baggage I'm carrying and hiding it at work is one thing, but hiding it from Eli's parents is going to be something completely different. They're going to be looking to see if I'm good enough to be their son's friend. They're going to make sure I'm not going to hurt him or anything. I can't tell Eli any of this, so I just bite my tongue and hope for the best.

I worry all through work the next day and I'm even more on edge than normal, which doesn't go unnoticed by everyone. I drop all my papers a number of times when people approach my desk, and I'm basically a quivering mess. I have to make numerous trips to the ladies' room to calm myself down and at one point in the afternoon, Eli appears in the ladies' room.

“Dani?”

He checks all of the stalls to make sure we're alone and then he breaths, “Baby? What's going on? You're a bundle of nerves today. Even the Cap has noticed it...”

I choke back a sob, upset that I'm ruining everything. “I'm sorry, Eli. I'm trying, really I am...”

“I know you are, baby. What's going on?”

“I'm just tired. It's just too much. I'm so tired... of everything...”

I see the heartbreak in his eyes and I drop my head to avoid his gaze. He carefully places his fingers under my chin and lifts my head to look into my eyes. I tremble under his touch but fight the strong urge to back off.

“I know you are, Dani. I know you're tired, I know your nerves are even more frayed than usual. I'm sorry about that. If you want me to cancel tonight, I will, in a heartbeat. If it's upsetting you this much, I will call it off...”

“No, it's ok. I don't want to disappoint your parents. I'll deal with it. I'm just tired, that's all.”

He affectionately cups my cheek with his hand and he whispers, “You're so brave, you know that? You're quite an amazing woman. I want you to believe that so badly. You are amazing. I just wish you could see that for yourself. I will do anything I can to help you, you know that, right?”

“Yes sir. And I am very thankful for that. I just need to get some sleep.”

“That I will agree with. You want me to stay on the chair tonight? That seems to help, doesn't it?”

“Yes sir, it does.” I didn't want to admit that, but there's no sense in lying about it. He already knows and I can't keep piling up the lies. The Paul lie is big enough as it is.

“Good, at least we've found something that helps. I'll stay on the chair tonight and hopefully you'll sleep better. You going to be ok now?”

“Yes sir. Sorry.”

“Don't worry about it. I just want to make sure you're alright.”

He leaves the ladies' room and lets me collect myself before I go back to my desk. The Captain is waiting by my desk. When he sees me he frowns and asks, “Everything ok, Dani?”

“Oh. Yes sir. Just didn't get much sleep last night.”

That's always an easy one to admit. It also excuses a lot of my 'weird' behavior.

“Are you sure that's it? You've been on edge today.”

“Sorry sir. Just over tired.”

He eyes me suspiciously for a minute and then he whispers, “If there's anything going on, you need to tell me Dani.”

I need to give him something, so I go with an easy out. I go with something that I'm more comfortable with.

“I know sir. Just can't sleep. The bank op kind of threw me as well.”

“Too much pressure?”

“Yes sir. I could have got someone killed.”

“But you didn't. You did great and you need to have some faith in your ability. I know having your mind can't be easy, but it's a blessing to have that ability. I know you don't always see it that way, but you can do so much good with it. Just have a little faith in yourself. Ok?”

“Yes sir.”

“You can go an hour early tonight if you'd like. Just make sure you get some sleep.”

“Yes sir. Thank you.”

As soon as the Captain's gone, I whisper to myself in Russian, “This place is going to be the death of me...”

On a positive note, I manage to get through a whole day without Paul appearing, which is a very good thing. I don't know how I would have handled that. I probably would have had a complete melt down.

It's now 7pm and Eli and myself are just preparing to walk out of my front door. I'm a quivering mess and I can't hide my trembling. I'm worried about every little thing, even down to what I'm wearing. I never worry about that, only that what I wear will cover my scars. I quietly ask Eli, “Id this outfit ok? It isn't inappropriate or anything, is it?”

I feel self conscious asking him that, but I have to deal with it. There's a lot I'm having to just 'deal' with lately.

“You look lovely, sweetheart. It's just dinner at my parent's house. It's nothing special.”

“I don't want them to get the wrong impression of me...”

“They won't. And since when do you wear 'inappropriate' clothing? You don't even wear short sleeves...”

I see a sadness in his eyes, like he's hiding a truth there, and for a moment I wonder if he knows why I don't wear short sleeves. I decide my brain cannot possibly take any more on board to worry about, so I don't ask about it. Besides, I'm not sure if I want to know. I don't want to see the look of disgust on his face.

I take in Eli's appearance. He's wearing loose fitting dark jeans, with a semi tight white t-shirt, an unbuttoned red shirt and black boots. He looks nice, and that's not something I admit very often. To be honest, it's not something I take into consideration very often. I try to push those kind of thought to the back of my mind as much as possible. Although, they've been popping up more often recently.

I'm wearing a pair of olive straight legged jeans with a white shirt and a pair of brown boots. Simple, I think, but not too scruffy.

“Dani, please try to calm down. I'll be with you the whole time. It's going to be ok.”

“Yes sir.”

It doesn't do much to calm my fears, but I've committed to this now, there's no turning back.

As we pull up to his parent's drive, I actually feel like I'm going to be sick. I whisper, “Oh man...”

“What? What's wrong?”

"I think I'm going to be sick...”

“Just breathe. Look at me. Count with me. It's all going to be ok. We'll only go in when you're ready.”

He reaches for my hand and places it on his heart, to try to calm me down. We count together and eventually, when I'm nearer a normal state, he asks, “You ready?”

“As ready I can be... Just let them know I'm not being rude, ok?”

“I will, don't worry about that. They're pretty easy going.”

I nod slightly and we get out of the car.

As Eli reaches for the doorbell, I quickly say, “Wait...!”

His hand hovers over the doorframe and he waits patiently for me to give him the go ahead. I take a deep breath and count to 10 before I say, “Ok.”

He reaches for my hand as we wait for the door to open, and because I'm actually petrified right now, I grab it like it's my only lifeline. I know my hands are shaking, I can feel it, but Eli doesn't comment on it. He just holds onto my hand reassuringly.

When the door opens, my breathing kicks up a notch. I let my eyes wander up and I see a man very similar to Eli, just older and a little shorter.

“Hey dad.”

“Come in, come in. You know you don't need to ring, Eli.”

“It's only polite. Where's Ma?”

“Kitchen.”

He turns to me and says, “You must be Danica. We've heard a lot about you.”

“Good evening Mr. Ramirez.”

“Please, call me Don. Come here son, it's been too long.”

Don embraces Eli and there seems to be a silent message in the hug. Don extends his hand towards me, for a hand shake, and my eyes widen in fear. Eli quickly puts himself between his dad and myself and I hear him whisper, “She doesn't do well with contact...”

“Oh, ok. Sorry about that Danica.”

I sigh and force myself to make an effort. I have to make as good an impression as I can.

“It's ok, sir. Please, call me Dani. Danica is a bit of a mouthful.”

“It's a beautiful name. Where's it originally from?”

“Russia, sir.”

“Have you been roped into the whole commanding officer, sir, stuff?”

“Oh, no sir. Just been taught to be polite.”

“You must have good parents...”

I try to hide the sadness on my face, but I'm sure Eli sees it flash through my eyes. I let out a tight smile and manage to say, “They were, sir.”

I hear Eli mutter in Spanish, “Just lay off a bit, dad.”

Then he smiles at me and says, “Shall we go find my ma?”

“Yes sir.”

He holds his hand out to me and I tentatively place my hand in his as he leads me to the kitchen.

I look at the house as we walk through. It's beautiful, but not over the top. As you walk from the front door, you go through a hallway that has wooden beams above, dark wood floors and lots of photos on the walls. Some of them are of Eli in his uniform or in his army fatigues. There's pictures of him with his parents and what I guess are family members. It's homely and it tugs on my heart strings a little. Eli must see or hear a change in me because he whispers, “Hey. You ok?”

“Yes sir. It's a beautiful house.”

“Yeah, we've had a long time to make it our own. We grew up in this house.”

We get to a swinging door, which I presume leads to the kitchen. I guess correctly, because when Eli walks through it I feel the heat and smell the food cooking.

“Ma?”

“Elijah! Come in, come in.”

I note that his dad said the same thing, my strange mind at work again guys.

Eli gives his ma a hug as she says, “Hey ma. Something smells great.”

“Always thinking about your stomach. Some things never change.”

“Ma, this is Dani. Dani, this is my ma, Connie.”

“Nice to meet you, Mrs Ramirez.”

“Oh, call me Connie, dear. I'm so glad to finally meet you! Eli speaks of you often...”

Before I can stop myself, I ask, “Does he?”

“Oh yes, he does.”

She reaches forward to hug me, but Eli grabs her hand and shakes his head slightly. I feel the panic on my face and I see a frown cross his mom's features. She's confused, but I think she's too polite to ask about it with me there.

She brushes it off and says, “Dinner will be about 10 minutes. Go sit in the living room and I'll call you when it's ready.”

“Yes ma'am. Come, baby. Let me show you around.”

I see his mom's head snap up when he calls me baby, and I see a small smile on her lips. To be honest, I don't really notice when Eli calls me baby or sweetheart. Maybe I've become so accustomed to it or maybe I just try to shut out his affection, but now I'm fully aware of it and it starts a fear in me.

As we walk out of the kitchen and into the large living room, he asks, “How you doing?”

I'm in a panic and I blurt out, “You called me baby...”

He frowns in confusion, “I do that all the time, Dani.”

“You do?”

“Don't you notice it?”

I shake my head in embarrassment.

“How come you noticed it just now then?”

“Your mom. She heard it...”

He groans, “I'm going to have to explain that. Just habit, Dani. I'll sort it out with her. I just say it because I care about you, do you want me to stop?”

I think about it for a minute and then say, “No, it's ok. I just... it's ok, Eli.”

“Sure?”

“Yes sir. Can we look at your pictures?”

“Sure. They're embarrassing though.”

He chuckles a little, probably at some memories, and he says, “There's loads of my brother, sister and I when we were younger.”

The living room is a very large room and it's sort of split into two sections. The end furthest from the front door is made into a dining area and the section nearest the front door has loads of couches and arm chairs dotted around. There's a huge flat screen TV on the wall and most of the chairs face the TV. There's also an old fireplace, which looks like it has the original features of the house. It's a log fire and I briefly wonder what it's like in the winter before Eli snaps me out of my thoughts.

“This is my brother, Tyler, and my sister, Maria.”

“Wow, he looks like you. Are you the oldest?”

“Yes ma'am. Tyler is a lawyer and Maria is a kindergarten teacher. Tyler is the youngest.”

“Wow. What are they like?”

I never had any siblings and even with the Volikov's, there were no other children in the house. I was intrigued.

“Tyler is a bit like Ash. He takes his work very seriously but he also like to joke around. Maria is a sweet girl, but she can be very hot headed and stubborn too. I guess that comes from working with stubborn children. She has to be just as stubborn I guess and that spills into her outside life too.”

“They won't... just turn up here... will they?”

“Oh no, they won't. Don't worry. I've spoken to them and Tyler's got a big case he's working on so he's swamped. Maria is away with her husband as it's the summer.”

“Oh, ok.”

“I told you, everything is going to be ok. I'm sorry about my folks. They're very affectionate. It runs in the family...”

I mumbled, “I noticed...”

He sees my tiny smile and he chuckles. “I do believe that was another sarcastic comment. You're getting good at those.”

“I'm trying.”

He talks about his family, as we look at all of the pictures and then his mom calls us to dinner.

As the food is being dished, Don asks, “So, Dani. What do you do at the precinct?”

“I'm an analyst, sir.”

“What's that exactly?”

“I take all the data from threats, monitor terror cells, extremist groups, all those kind of things and I check to see if there are any viable threats coming through. The threats are categorized into different levels and then I pass the data on to the different precincts or departments.”

“Wow, sounds like an important job. Do you enjoy it?”

“Yes sir. I like computers.”

“Dad, you should see her on a computer. It's like watching magic. She has these 4 big screens and she can look at all of them at once. It's quite something.”

Connie says, “That's quite a compliment coming from Eli. Do you help with the operations?”

“Sometimes, ma'am. It depends on what they need.”

Work was a safe subject. I can talk about work. Maybe this won't be so bad.

Eli says, “How's work, dad?”

“Busy. The summer always is. The heat, the kids off school, everything seems to be crazy and it sends them in our direction.”

Eli looks at what I'm assuming is my confused face and he says, “My dad is a doctor. He work in the emergency room. My ma is a real estate agent.”

“Oh.”

What else could I say to that. I know they're expecting something else, so I eventually ask, “Do you both enjoy your work?”

Eli shoots me a smile and I feel my heartbeat slow down slightly.

Don answers, “Very much. I know it gets crazy and the hours are horrendous, but I really do love it. I get to help people every day, and that is an amazing gift.”

I let a truth out, even though it's risking uncomfortable questions, “My poppa was a doctor; a heart surgeon.”

Eli stares at me, but when I look into his eyes briefly, it seems like he already knows that. My eyebrows knit together in confusion at first, but I decide I can't ask him about that.

Don seems shocked, “Wow! That's quite a profession. Is he back in Russia?”

“No sir. He's... not alive... anymore.”

“Oh dear. I'm very sorry.”

“It's ok, sir. They died when I was young.”

“Your mom too?”

“Yes sir.”

“That's a shame, dear. Well, you can be part of our family if you'd like. We'd like that, wouldn't we, Don?”

“We sure would. You're welcome here any time you want.”

I'm shocked, embarrassed, scared and also a bit touched. They haven't judged me, they haven't passed any comments on my strange behavior. They've just accepted me as I am. I'm sure if they knew the full story then they'd hate me, but for now they're accepting me. I feel a lump form in my throat and I'm sure I'm going to cry. I manage to whisper a thank you before focusing solely on my food.

I'm sure it's going to appear like I'm being rude, but I can't manage to do anything else. It's all too overwhelming and I need to breathe. I need space; I need to run away. Eli must have sensed I was battling with something, because he says, “Dani, do you need me to show you where the bathroom is?”

“Yes please, sir.”

“Sure thing. We'll be back in a minute.”

Don watches us intently and says, “Take your time.”

As we walk out of the room, Eli leading the way, he whispers, “You ok? That was a bit intense, huh?”

I let out a deep breath and whisper, “Yes sir.”

“I'm sorry, sweetheart. They only mean well.”

“I understand.”

“Do you? I mean, they want to be part of your family. It's not something they just say. They actually mean it.”

Despite the arguing in my brain my heart knows the truth, so I whisper, “I know, Eli. I know. It's just.... overwhelming... I've been on my own for so long... so long... I can't.... it's not easy for me.”

“I know, baby. I'm very proud of you, you know that? You've done so well tonight. Do you need me to give you a minute?”

“If that's ok.”

“Of course it is. Can you find your way back? Sorry, stupid question, of course you can.”

I smile a tiny bit and say, “It's ok. The mind thing takes some getting used to.”

“Ain't that the truth. Take a breather, Dani. Take as long as you need.”

“Thank you, sir.”

I go into the bathroom and lock the door as Eli slips back into the dining room.

END OF DANI'S POV

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Eli's POV

I don't how Dani's doing it, but she's holding it together. Just barely, but she's doing it. She's been a champion tonight. I'm truly amazed at how well she's done. Now, I know that probably sounds condescending, but I really don't mean it that way. I know how these kind of things affect her and judging by her previous reactions, I was expecting more of an explosion of sorts.

As I sit back down at the table, my ma asks, “Is Dani ok?”

“Yeah, she just needs a minute.”

“Everything ok, son?”

“Yes sir. She's just a bit... overwhelmed. She's been on her own for a long time. This kind of thing is new to her. Just give her a bit of time. She'll come around.”

“How did her parents die, Eli?”

“Car crash. Drunk driver.”

My ma gasps, “Oh my! Poor girl. How old was she?”

“10.”

My dad is shocked, although he shouldn't be. He sees enough of it. “That's awful. The poor child. She's had it a bit rough then, huh?”

“Yes sir, just a bit.”

“Well, hopefully we can help change that.”

“I hope so. Just maybe tone it down a little. You'll scare her.”

My ma shoots me that smile. You know the one that an interfering mother does when she's cottoned on to something in your life? Yep, that's the smile she gives me as she says, “You really like her, don't you? She's really special to you.”

I sigh and rub my hands over my face. There's no point in lying to her. She's my mother, she's going to know. So I just say, “Yes, ma. She is very special.”

“Have you told her?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“You don't understand the situation, ma. Things have to be done a certain way. I'm not going to explain everything to you, because that would be betraying Dani, but I'm waiting until she's ready to talk to her about it all.”

My dad pipes in, probably to shut my ma up, “That's fair enough, son. If you need anything, just come and ask.”

“Yes sir, thank you.”

We eat and talk about general day to day stuff. My ma asks about Ash and tells me I need to bring him over for Sunday dinner. She says it's not an option, so I tell her I'll ask him tomorrow.

It's about 15 minutes before Dani returns. She looks like she's been crying, but I can't be sure. Maybe it's just tiredness and stress. I eye her closely and shoot her a smile as she sits down. First thing that leaves her mouth? If you guessed an apology, you deserve a prize.

“I'm sorry for leaving the table.”

My dad jumps right in, “No need to apologize my dear. You can leave the table whenever you feel like it.”

“Thank you, sir. Mrs... Sorry, Connie, the food is lovely, thank you.”

“You're very welcome, Dani. Eli's just been telling us about the first operation you helped on, the one with the tunnels under the sewage system. That was a good call.”

“Thank you, but it was only a logical thought.”

“Unfortunately there's not much logic floating around in the work place.”

“My poppa used to say common sense isn't all that common anymore.”

“He was right. Some of the doctors and nurses have so much intelligence, but no common sense. It just doesn't seem possible to be able to function in that environment with sense.”

Dani doesn't say anything and I don't know if it's because she doesn't know what to say, if she's intimidated or if she just doesn't want to talk bad about people.

I rescue her from having to say anything, “Did you do dessert, ma?”

“Of course. There's cheesecake in the fridge. You want to help me get it, Elijah?”

Now, if you know anything about my ma by now, you'll know that's not actually a question. She makes it seem like it's your choice, but it really isn't. I don't even know if she knows she's doing it. Maybe that's where I get my commanding skills from. I feel torn. Dani looks petrified and I don't want to leave her, but my ma doesn't even seem to notice.

I try to ease my ma into a no by saying, “Maybe I should keep Dani company...”

“Nonsense. Your father will keep her company, won't you Don?”

“Yes ma'am. Eli, you know better than to argue with your mother. Dani and I will do some catching up, won't we Dani?”

Dani answers but it sounds more like a question that a statement, “Yes sir?”

“See, we'll be fine in here. Go get dessert.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

End of Eli's POV





As Eli is leaving the room, I can feel the panic settle over me. I try to calm myself down. I try counting, but it doesn't seem to work. I try reciting the periodic table, but that doesn't work either. I barely manage to hear Eli's dad say, “Dani? What's wrong?”

I choke out, “Can't breathe...”

He slides back his chair quickly and rushes towards me, and I fly away from him. I know I'm a trembling mess and I know I'm showing Eli up, but I can't help it. I've got myself to the point where I can't come back from it on my own.

“Can't breathe.... Eli...?!”

I just about hear his dad shout for Eli and I see Eli step in front of me. I jump back again and keep backing off, as Eli says, “Dani? It's just me. It's Eli. Baby, listen to me. Look at me... Can you count with me?”

I shake my head violently and my fingers start to tingle, “Eli....? Can't breathe....”

“Shh, shh. It's ok, baby. You want to give me your hand?”

I know I need to calm down, and I know he's the only one that can do it, so I gingerly lift my hand towards him. He takes my hand and places it over his heart. I can feel his heartbeat under my palm. At first it's fast, but gradually it slows down and I start counting along with it. I vaguely hear him whisper, “That's it, sweetheart. Just count. It's ok. I'm here.”

By the time I'm almost back to normal, realization hits me at what just happened and what I did. I feel another attack coming on, mostly out of embarrassment, but Eli holds my hand and says, “Dani, it's ok. Don't panic. It happened, but it's ok. No one is judging you. Just relax, just stay with me, ok?”

I nod and drop my head before whispering an apology to his parents.

Eli looks up at his dad and asks, “What happened?”

“She just panicked when you left. When I tried to help her she panicked even more.”

“She doesn't do well with contact, I did warn you.”

“I didn't think about it. I just wanted to help her.”

Eli sighs. He's still holding on to my hand and I take a step closer to him. I'm embarrassed, tired, and feeling a little light headed from the panic attack. I think he notices this, because he opens his arms a little for me to step into them if I want to. I take up the invitation and he holds me gently. I hear him sigh again and he says, “I know, dad. I know you only wanted to help, but you have to keep you distance. I'm sorry I can't explain it, but you have to just trust me on this one. I think maybe I should take Dani home...”

I tense up in his arms and I apologize yet again. I feel like such an idiot. I've ruined the whole night. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin the evening.”

“You didn't ruin the evening, Dani. I'm sorry I frightened you. I hope it doesn't put you off from coming again.”

Did I hear him right? He's apologizing to me? That's something new and I don't know how to handle that, so I just pass over it.

“No sir, it won't.”

“Good. I hope to see you again soon. Eli, call me when you get in.”

“Yes sir. Dani, I need to say goodnight to my folks, ok?”

I quickly retract and stand away from everyone as he hugs his parents goodnight.

I wish things were that easy for me. I mean, it takes so much effort and courage to hug Eli, even after all the work we have done. I can't watch the hugs for more than a second or two. It makes me feel sad and inadequate.

The journey home is silent and I don't know if Eli is upset or angry. When we get in my front door, I whisper, “Are you mad at me, sir? I didn't mean to ruin it, I swear...”

“No, baby, I'm not mad at you. I'm angry with myself for not staying with you. That's exactly what I didn't want to happen. I wanted you to have a nice evening, but I left you and you got scared. I should have just stayed with you and it wouldn't have happened...”

“It's ok, Eli. It was bound to happen. It always does.”

“But you were doing so well. If I'd have stayed then you would have been ok.”

I shrug and say, “At least they know how crazy I am, huh? At least they know what kind of person you're spending your time with...”

“If they judge you just by that, then no, they don't realize the person you are. If I know my parents well, then they'll just see it as a set back. They saw what you were like before and they'll accept you for that person, not the person who got scared. My parents are good people, Dani, they won't judge you.”

I just manage to whisper, “Yes sir.”

But inside I'm thinking, 'If I were them, I'd judge me. If only they knew the real me, then they'd certainly judge me.'

Eli interrupts my thoughts and says, “You need to get some sleep. I want to take you somewhere tomorrow. Don't panic. I want to leave at 5, before things get busy. It's going to be ok. In fact, I think you're going to like it.”

“Ok.”

We go get ready for bed and Eli appears in my doorway with a pillow and a blanket. He says, “You still ok for me to stay on the chair? I think you need to at least try to get as much sleep as possible.”

I shrug and whisper, “Yes sir.”

He gets settled on the chair and he whispers a good night before I lay down. He watches me as I wrap the covers tightly around myself, like a cocoon, but he doesn't comment on it. I lay awake for a long time, worrying about Eli being in the room. I shouldn't have allowed this, but then is it any different to the other nights he's stayed in here after my nightmares? I decide I just have to take a leap of faith and trust him. I have to trust that nothing is going to happen to me. That's the last thought I remember before sleep finally takes me.





A/N: Sooooo, she met his parents. That's a big step, right? What do you think Eli has planned for Dani? Answers on a postcard? :-D