Chapter Thirty-Five



Eli's POV

The doorbell rings at exactly 12:58. Ash is prompt, if nothing else. The Army drills that into you, and once its ingrained in you it's hard to get that out. I know Dani heard the door, because she stiffened in her seat, but she makes no move to answer it, so I turn the TV off and get up from the couch. I open the door. “Hey Ash, I just have to get my stuff together. Can you wait a minute?”

“Sure. You want me to wait out here?”

It seems like he has some form understanding on the matter, even though I haven't told him anything. I nod slightly and head back into the living room. I grab my guns and put my badge on its chain around my neck. I crouch down near Dani's side and I apologize for causing her to jump.

I whisper, “I'm going to head out now. You sure you'll be ok?”

“Yes sir. Tell your parents I said hi.”

“I will. I'll bring some dinner back for you. I'll be a couple of hours though, we're going to watch the baseball game.”

“Ok. I'll be working on this for hours.”

“Ok. I'll see you later then.”

I slowly reach for her hand so she knows what's happening. She watches my hand intently, but she doesn't back off. I do, however, notice the slight tremble in her hand as I brush my fingers over it. I give her hand a quick squeeze, and then release it so she doesn't get too freaked out.

“See you later Eli.”

She looks over to the door and says, “Hi Ash.”

“Hey darlin'. How you doing?”

“Good sir, thank you. You?”

“Yeah, not too shabby. We're going to be late, Eli.”

“Yeah, yeah. I'm coming.”

I shoot Dani one last look and mumble, “Lock the door after me.”

I know I don't need to remind her, but I do it anyway, just so she knows I care. She nods in agreement and I shut the door behind Ash and myself.

As we walk to my car, Ash shoots me a knowing glance. I don't comment, I know he's going to say something. There's no point in encouraging his questioning.

“Soooooo... What was that?”

I knew it was coming; I know him too well.

“What was what?”

“Don't give me that bull. You know exactly what I mean. But, if you need reminding, the whole touching thing? What's all that about?”

I let out a deep breath and pause before answering, “We're just... We're working on it. Don't comment or make a deal out of it with Dani around; she'll flip and that's not something I want right now.”

“So, how's she doing? Sleeping better?”

I eye him carefully, trying to figure out just how much he knows.

“What? Don't look at me like that. I know she doesn't sleep well. You can see it a mile away, plus we had to take her to the hospital before, remember?”

Geez, that feels like a lifetime ago, not a few months.

“I also know that you spend most nights here... I've tried ringing your house phone...”

I can't deny that and I'm not ashamed of the fact I stay at Dani's.

“What's your point?”

“Just wondering what's going on. I mean, you're my best friend and I really like Dani. I just don't want to see either of you get hurt or anything. You're getting in deeper than I think you realize and I'm just worried it's all going to blow up in your face...”

“Maybe it will, maybe it won't. The fact still remains that I'm going to help her. She needs my help, Ash. Even if she pushes me away afterwards, at least I'll have helped her to have a better life. You know she can't carry on the way she is.”

“I know. I just worry about you. I can see it's taking its toll on you. You're different now. You're so serious all the time. You don't joke about things the way you used to...”

He's right, but how can I explain this without revealing too much. “I know, I just don't think the way we used to joke is quite as funny any more. My perspective has changed somewhat. Things with Dani have made me realize that our jokes aren't very tasteful. I'm not saying you guys can't joke about the way you do; that's completely up to you. I just can't be the same way any more. I've changed, I've matured...”

He looks at me, like he's figuring something out. Instead of saying what conclusion he's come to, he just nods and says, “You've got old, you mean?”

I chuckle. That's the Ash I know. The sarcastic guy who makes everyone laugh. “Yeah, if you want to call me old, then I've got old. Just remember you're only a few months younger than me...”

“Still a few months grandpa.”

I shake my head at him; Ash is certainly an odd guy.

The journey to my parents' is filled with light banter and comments about the baseball and the NFL training camps. We don't bother to knock when we arrive, I just open the door and walk in. Ash steps over the threshold and yells, “Yo, Momma C! Your favorite son is here!”

I smile and shake my head at the crazy guy who is my best friend. My ma immediately pops her head out of the kitchen door and then rushes toward us. She gives Ash a tight hug and then embraces me. “Ash, it's been too long. How are you, son?”

I mumble, “Geez, just steal my ma why don't you?”

“Behave, Elijah. I just saw you the other day. Don't be jealous.”

“Yeah, Elijah, don't be jealous because your mom loves me more.”

“Ashton, don't start trouble. You know I love you both the same.”

“Thanks ma, I'm only your genetic son, nothing important, huh?”

“Oh hush. Come talk to me Ash... Just don't steal the food.”

Ash shoots my ma a sheepish grin, knowing she's figured out his game plan for talking to her in the kitchen. I laugh at the exchange between the two of them, realizing just how much I've missed this. I search for my dad and find him setting the table.

“Hey dad.”

“Hey Eli, how's it going?”

“Good. You need a hand with that?”

“Yeah, you want to dig out the sharp knives? Your ma did steak.”

I go to the cutlery drawer and get out the sharp knives as my dad asks, “How's Dani?”

“Ok, she's working from home today?”

“Does she ever stop working?”

“Yeah, she does. She just finds it difficult to do nothing.”

“Her mind is too active, huh?”

“Yeah. She reads binary, dad.”

He chuckles and I don't quite know why, so I question, “What?”

“Only you could think that's cool. Don't get me wrong, it's definitely a talent, but not really a topic of conversation.”

“Sorry, I just found out this morning. I'm just amazed by it. It's not really something you find out about people.”

“No, I guess not.”

“How's that cop doing?”

“Ok. He's out of critical care and he's stable, so that's a good thing. It'll be a long road to recovery though. The bullet nicked his spine, so he may have to learn how to walk again. We won't know until he recovers from the surgery enough to get out of bed. You can't rush these things.”

“No, I don't suppose you can. Are Tyler and Maria coming?”

“Yeah, should be here any time.”

The house is a flurry of activity when my brother and sister appear. Fiona squeals and launches herself into my arms when she sees me. I hold her tight and then throw her up in the air a few times causing Fiona to squeal and laugh with delight. Maria gasps and scolds me, “Eli, you'll drop her!”

I shoot her a look, “Seriously?”

“Maria, do you really think your brother is going to drop her? Think about all the delicate packages he's had to hold over the years...”

Her tanned cheeks turn slightly pink as she says, “I guess not. I just worry.”

I shoot her a smile as I say, “Well don't.”

She childishly sticks her tongue out at me sending Fiona into a fit of giggles. Jon appears behind Maria and places his hand on the small of Maria's back. “Hey Eli. How's it going?”

“Good thanks. How was Florida?”

“Great. We had a lovely time, didn't we honey?”

“Yeah, it was lovely. We even got to go out without Fi a few times. Jon's parents had her for a few nights.”

“That's cool. Hey Ty...”

“Hey guys. Hope I'm not late. Work has been crazy.”

“No, we just sat down, son.”

Ash looks at Tyler and starts laughing. Tyler's cheeks flush with pink. Him and Ash have the same humor, the same thought pattern and Ash obviously knows something we don't, so I take a closer look at Ty before bursting out laughing as well.

He shoots the pair of us a death glare and Ash can't resist commenting, “So, work was crazy today, huh?”

Ty narrows his eyes at the pair of us before grinding out, “Yes...”

That sets Ash off again and causes me to chuckle. We know it isn't work that held Tyler up. Ash opens his mouth to say something else, when Ty growls out, “Ash..... Shut up...”

“Like you wouldn't do the same to me...”

My dad is watching the exchange with a smirk on his face, obviously catching what's going on. My ma and Maria look confused and Jon is too busy putting Fiona in her chair to care.

Ash mumbles, “So, what was her name? And your zipper is still down, by the way.”

I see Tyler quickly dip his head, but not quick enough for me to miss the full out redness of his cheeks. Even the tips of his ears have turned beet red. I hear Ash chuckle under his breath and my dad says, “Enough boys. Time to say grace.”

We're not a particularly religious family, but we always say grace before a meal. Maybe it's just a tradition that has been passed down, or maybe it's just a moment for us to give thanks for what we have. I suppose I've never really thought about it, but I'm increasingly more aware of all the good things I have and how much I have to be thankful for.

As we dish the food, pass dishes and tuck in, my ma shoots me a look and I know something not so good is about to leave her mouth. I don't know how I know it, I just do. And she doesn't disappoint.

“So, Elijah, how's Dani?”

Maria's and Tyler's heads snap towards me. I'm thankful at this precise moment for my training, because it keeps away the blush I know should probably be forming and it hides the shock from my face. Ash wasn't so prepared and he nearly chokes on a string bean. I pat his back and say, “Careful there, Ash. We wouldn't want you to choke.”

He glances at me, and I can read that expression. He's asking me how I'm so calm after my ma just outed me to everyone else. He knows what my family are like. He knows they'll do everything they can to find out about Dani. He also knows I want to keep that hidden from them until Dani's ready to face them.

I cooly say, “She's fine, thanks for asking.”

Tyler questions, “Dani?” at the same time Maria asks, “Who's Dani?”

“Someone from work.”

Tyler frowns, “Someone from work? Who ma knows?”

Maria agrees, “You never introduce us to people you work with.”

“There was a reason for that, Ri.. You were single and they're testosterone filled men. Do the math.”

“Whatever. It still doesn't explain how or why ma knows this Dani girl.”

“I don't understand why it's such a big deal...”

Tyler pipes in, “Er, because you never introduce us to your friends. You never bring people over...”

Ash exclaims, “Hey! Am I not a person?”

“You don't count. You're part of the furniture.”

Ash grins impishly and says, “Thanks.”

I stare at him and quickly quip, “Only you could take that as a compliment.”

“Hey, I'll take them whatever way they come. You know me, man.”

My dad sends me a look from across the table, letting me know he's got my back, and then he says, “Dani helped Eli on a case and he had to stop by here. It's no big deal.”

“Dad, seriously, it is a big deal...”

“Maria, just drop it.”

“See, dad? He's getting all irritated now so it's got to be a big deal.”

“No, he's irritated because you're making it into a major fiasco. I don't know why you and your mother have such an obsession with other people's lives. So, Ash, how about we get together this week for a little sparring? I've missed our sessions.”

“Cool, pops. I'm up for that. When are you free? I have to work late Tuesday and Wednesday, but any other night I'm free. Except Friday, because that's party night...”

I chuckle, silently thank my dad and Ash with a glance, and say, “So why didn't you just say you're free Monday or Thursday you idiot?”

“Huh, I didn't think about it that way. You free Monday or Thursday?”

“Thursday I am. Want to go a few rounds Thursday night?”

“Sure, I'd love to. I have to warn you, I've got better at my hand to hand...”

My dad questions that, “Eli?”

“No, he actually has. I have to concentrate now when we train.”

“Thanks... Hey! I wasn't that bad before...”

Everyone laughs at the subtle diss I threw in there, but Ash doesn't take it to heart. He knows I'm just messing around with him. And just like that, Ash steers the conversation completely away from Dani. I probably should thank him later on for his help with that. As the conversation flows, I sit back and watch everyone. This is not an unusual thing for me to do so no one really pays any attention to it. I like to watch people, it helps me to understand them and either negotiate or fix things. As I watch everyone, I think about Dani and how glad I am she didn't come with me today. I would love her to be here, don't get me wrong, but I know this would be too much for her. Everyone is loud, in your face and nosy. She'd feel overwhelmed, scared and it would just be too much for her. I knew it would be a mad house and I didn't really want to put Dani in that situation.

My dad breaks my thoughts as he says, “Eli, you want to help me clear the table?”

“Yes sir. What time is the game on?”

“In a half hour.”

“Cool. Everyone finished?”

I get a chorus of 'yeahs' so I start clearing the plates and leftovers from the table. My ma looks up and asks, “Would you put some coffee on, son?”

“Yes ma'am.”

Once the table is clear, my dad and I set to work storing the leftovers in containers. We work in silence for a little while and then I ask, “You wanted to talk?”

He chuckles, knowing I'm on the same wave length as him. “Yeah. How is Dani, really?”

I shrug. What can I say? “No different to when you last asked. It's not something that's just going to go away dad.”

“No, I know. Probably a stupid question on my part. I guess I just don't know what else to ask.”

“I know. It doesn't exactly make for good conversation, does it?”

“No, no it doesn't. I found a few things out though. Things you might be interested in.”

“Really? That was quick.”

“Well, it doesn't take long to speak to a few doctors. Anyway, the majority consensus is 2 different drugs. One is called Fluphenazine and the other is Lorazepam. They seem to be the least addictive and the most effective for this kind of thing. They'll help with the anxiety and panic attacks and should stop the insomnia, but they may not stop the dreams. They should make them more manageable though. Both drugs are injectables though. Is Dani going to be ok with that?”

I let out a deep breath and I feel a flutter in my stomach, this is all so real all of a sudden. “No, she's not going to be ok with that. Honestly? She's not ok with any of this. She accepted that you know about this, she just literally said, 'ok'.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, although I don't know what I thought she was going to do about it. She's worried you and ma will think I shouldn't be around her though. What she's not ok with is taking drugs again. She really doesn't want to go down that route. The problem is, I can't see any other way. She's tired and that sets her on edge even more, that makes her stomach go in knots and she can't eat properly. If that continues, she'll end up in hospital again and trust me, that wasn't a good experience for everyone involved.”

“I don't think I want to know about that. So, what are we going to do?”

“She said the only way she'll consider keeping an open mind to the drugs is if I can give her a good enough reason to. Meaning, I have to come up with an air tight, solid case to present to her for all the reasons why she should take them. The problem is, she's way smarter than me, she knows way more about these things than me, so if she asks questions I don't even think about then I'm stuffed if I can't answer them. If you saw her reaction, you'd know she's going to fight me on this. Not that I blame her for doing that, in fact, I really want her to fight me on it. I just want to be able to show her it's going to help her.”

I'm rambling, I know I am, but my dad doesn't call me on it. He knows I'm processing everything and rambling is one of the ways I do that. Instead, he waits for me to finish and then he says, “We'll talk to her together then.”

I stop, literally everything in me stops. I even think my heart skips a couple beats. There's a couple problems with that. One, my dad's presence will freak Dani out. Two, she won't have him in her house. Three, if we talk about it here we run the risk of my ma hearing. And that's just the three I can think of right off the bat.

I breathe out, “Dad.... while I'm thrilled you're accepting of Dani and you want to help, there's a lot about this situation you don't understand.”

“So, make me understand.”

I groan. “It's not that simple. It's a complicated issue.”

“So uncomplicate it.”

“That's not even a word, dad.”

“It is now. Come on Eli, you're better than anyone I know at fixing things and figuring people out. Take this situation apart and fill me in on the important bits. The stuff I need to know that won't compromise your relationship with Dani. I know you don't want to betray her, so just lay out the important stuff for me.”

I sigh. He's right, he needs to know some stuff if he's going to help us. “Can I at least think about this? I mean, I need to think about what I'm going to say without betraying her. I need to talk to Dani first.”

“If you do that, she's going to tell you to forget it. She's going to retract and close off from you so fast you'll feel the breeze as the door slams shut.”

I growl, not really angry at my dad, just angry at the whole situation. I don't begrudge helping Dani, don't even think that for one second. I only feel like my hands are tied in this situation. I don't want her to think I'm leaving her out of the loop. I mean, these are decisions about her life, she should be involved. And if you had seen her face when I told her about my dad knowing, you'd think the same way too. She was so thankful and appreciative that I'd told her. I can't rip that apart now.

I close my eyes for a few seconds to concentrate on what I'm going to do. When I open my eyes, my dad is watching me have my internal battle. “No, I'm going to talk to her. I don't know what I'm going to say yet, but I have to talk to her first. You don't know what it will do to her if I start making decisions about her life. I'll have to speak to her first before I tell you anything else.”

He nods, like he knew I was going to say something along those lines. “You're a good man, Eli. I hope she loves you as much as you love her...”

“Dad, don't go there. I'm just helping her as a friend...”

“Sure, keep telling yourself that. I can see it, even your mother can see it. You'll realize soon enough.”

“I think you're mixing things up. I'm going to call Dani.”

I walk out of the kitchen through the swinging door so I don't have to pass everyone in the living room. I head out the front door and sit on the porch in the cool breeze. It's a nice summer evening, not too hot, just perfect. I grab my phone and call Dani. I start to leave a message before she picks up, hearing my voice.

“Eli?”

“Yes baby, it's me. Everything ok? You sound panicked.”

“I'm ok, just had a weird message on the machine before you.”

I'm instantly worried. “What did they say?”

“Nothing, they didn't say anything. They just breathed down the phone. I've never had that before.”

“Did you save the message?”

“Yes sir.”

“Ok, I'll listen when I get back. Do you want me to come back now?”

“Oh, no sir. I'm ok. The door is locked, I'm ok.”

She sounds like she's trying to convince herself more than me and I think I should go back. I know she'll think she made me leave my family and she'll feel bad; that's the only thing that stops me from jumping into the car right now.

“What's wrong, Eli?”

She snaps me out of my thoughts. “Nothing's wrong as such. I just need to talk to you. My dad had a chat with me...”

I hear the breath catch in the back of her throat, so I begin to explain the conversation I had with my dad. She doesn't say anything, so I have to prompt a response, “He doesn't understand why we can't just meet up somewhere and talk everything through. I need to explain some stuff to him, but I don't want to do it without your permission.”

She shakily asks, “What are you going to tell him?”

“Honestly? I don't know yet. I haven't figured that bit out. I just knew I needed to talk to you first.”

I think I hear her sob a little and I panic, thinking she's upset with me. “Dani? Baby? Did I do something wrong?”

“No sir, just... thank you.”

“For?”

“For thinking to talk to me.”

“It's your life, I can't and won't make decisions like that without talking to you about it. So, what do you want me to say? If you don't want me to tell him anything then I won't. We'll just deal with this together.”

She doesn't answer at first, but eventually she whispers, “Just don't tell him the bad stuff; I mean the really bad stuff. I don't want him to know any of that. I don't want to know what you say. I don't want to see the knowing look or the disgust in his eyes. If I don't know what you say then I can't assume to know what he knows.”

“Ok.”

She rambles on, “I know that sounds stupid, but it'll be easier for me that way...”

“Baby, it's ok. If that's what you want me to do, then that's it. I'll do it that way. He's not going to look at you with disgust, I can promise you that. He really does want to help. I'll talk to him and then I'm coming home. I don't feel like sticking around for the game. We can watch it at home together if you'd like. You'll probably enjoy it actually, it's lots of statistics and numbers.”

“Ok.”

“You sure you're ok, sweetheart?”

She hesitates, so I quickly say, “You can be honest with me, Dani. I truly want to know if you're ok. It's ok to not be ok. I just want to know either way.”

She sighs, “I'm tired, Eli. I tired of everything. I just want it to stop. I just want it to go away. I'm tired of being frightened, I'm tired of not sleeping, I'm tired of the nightmares, I'm sick of the memories and I don't know what to do.”

“Surely with my dad's help we can find something that will work or at least make it easier?”

“I don't want to get addicted again. I can't go through that again.”

“We'll talk it all through with him and see what we can find out, yeah?”

She defeatedly answers, “Yes sir.”

I decide to change the subject, “How's the computer program coming along?”

“It's not running as smoothly as I'd hoped. I stopped just a few minutes ago. I'll go back to it another day. I'm seeing ones and zeros everywhere I look.”

I chuckle a little, “That bad, huh?”

“Yeah, that bad. You should get back to your family, Eli. They'll be missing you.”

“Ok, but only so I can get home quicker. I'll call you before I leave, but I have to drop Ash off first.”

We finish our call and I take a deep breath before stepping back into the house. My dad catches my eye immediately and he raises his eyebrows at me. I still have no idea what I'm going to say to him. I just hope the right words come to me when I open my mouth.

I go back into the kitchen, remembering I was supposed to make the coffee and I find my ma standing by the coffee pot. “Sorry ma, I had to make a call.”

“Sure thing. Everything ok, Elijah? You seem distracted.”

“I'm fine, just a few things on my mind. Although, I do have to ask, why did you do that at dinner, ma? You must know they're not going to let it drop now.”

“They deserve to know. It's not like you would have told them any time soon. Besides, I don't see why it's a big secret. If it isn't a big deal then you shouldn't be so bothered by me telling them.”

“It's not that it's a big deal, ma. You really don't get this whole concept, do you? Doing something like that is going to make it a big deal for Dani. It's going to make her embarrassed. Do you not get that? Do you not realize that now they're going to want to meet her? Do you not think they're going to keep asking about her? If Dani even gets a hint of that she'll run a mile. The hype surrounding Dani is going to be so great that if or when she does eventually meet everyone, she's going to feel it. That's going to freak her the heck out, ma. Can't you understand that? I'm going to be blunt because I don't know if you're going to understand it any other way. Bad things happened to he, ma. Really bad things. You need to back off and let me work with her. When she's ready, she'll meet everyone. Just let me help her get to that stage, ok?”

My ma looks shocked at first and then recognition flashes in her eyes. Now, you may think I was being a little harsh to my ma, but I'm not. It's the only language she understands, trust me.

“Really bad things, Eli?”

“Yes ma'am.”

“Like what?”

I give her a sidewards glance, “You know me better than that. You know I'm not going to tell you her story.”

“No, I shouldn't even ask. It's just that she's got you so caught up and I'm curious as to why. I love that you're helping her and everything, you've always been a good boy. I just worry about you.”

“I'm fine ma. I'll be even better when Dani is ok.”

“Ok. She's welcome here any time, tell her that.”

“You can tell her when you see her next. It'll mean a lot to her to know you accept her. She probably won't believe it at first, but if you keep telling her she'll accept it eventually.”

“Ok. I'm going to take the coffee in. Are you coming in to watch the game?”

“Yes ma'am. I'll be in in a little while...”

Ash and Ty come flying into the kitchen, trying to wrestle each other to the ground. My ma chuckles and comments, “Will they ever grow up?”

I shake my head and smile at the pair of them. Ash shouts at me, “I'm taking him down, Eli. Any objections?”

“Nope, crack on, Ash. In fact, use that trick I taught you last week...”

Ash almost squeals with delight as he reaches for the back of Ty's thigh. When Ash executes the move perfectly, Ty screams like a girl and drops to the floor. Ash jumps up and does a victory dance while Ty is rolling around on the ground, moaning. “That's not fair. You can't use your army moves on me. That's cheating! How is that even fair?!”

I chuckle, “Don't be a sore loser. If you'd paid attention to more of dad's training sessions then you'd have picked up a few things boy.”

“Whatever. Ash, get off me you big piece of meat! So, Eli, Dani huh? Want to elaborate?”

“Er, nope. Care to elaborate on why you were late for dinner?”

His cheeks tinge pink again and Ash cracks up from his position on the floor, sitting on one of Tyler's legs. I can see Ty getting more annoyed, so I say, “Scott, get off him.”

Ash immediately jumps up while saying, “Yes sir.”

Ty grins and mutters, "That's so cool. Does he do everything you say?”

“The things that matter, yes. Like if I told him to kick your butt right now, he'd go ahead and do it...”

“And enjoy it!”

“Scott...”

“Sorry, I mean, I'd only do it because Eli told me to.”

Ash always knows I'm serious when I use his last name. That's the only time I ever call him Scott, when I'm serious. I share an amused look with Ash. Sometimes I feel closer to Ash than I do to my own brother, and suddenly I feel bad for Ty. Maybe it's my fault we aren't as close as we used to be. I know that since Dani, I've kind of drifted away from everyone, but I think she's more important right now.

“Guys, how about we get together at my house on Friday. I'll ask some of the team to pop in. We'll get pizza and drink a whole load of beer. You up for that?”

Ash's eyebrows almost hit his hairline in shock, but he knows better than to ask me about it right now. Ty smiles and nods, “I'm cool with that. I think there's some hockey on as well.”

“Great. I'll talk to the guys tomorrow. Ash? Any better plans for Friday?”

“I don't know. I'll have to check my heavy schedule...”

“You're not working on Friday night...”

Ty cracks up and Ash shoots my a mock glare, “Very funny Eli. But I'm serious. I might have a thing. I'll have to check.”

My dad enters the kitchen with a stern look on his face. Ash and Ty assume they're in trouble, so they both mumble an apology before creeping out to the living room. I chuckle along with my dad, amused that the boys don't actually know his real stern look.

“Are we missing the game?”

“Yep, it's already started.”

“We should get in there then.”

“Hold up Elijah.”

I stop in my tracks. Even at 33 years of age, I still know my boundaries with my dad. He's not someone you cross unless you have a very good reason to.

“Did you talk to Dani?”

“Yes sir.”

“And?”

“She's given me permission to discuss somethings with you, but she doesn't want to know what we say. Whatever I tell you stays between us. Ok?”

He throws me an almost annoyed look. “Do you even need to ask that?”

“No, but I feel better after saying it. I don't even know what to say or where to start.” I take a deep breath and continue, “She's not going to be comfortable with doing anything here. She needs to feel safe and she doesn't like new surroundings. The problem with that is, she won't have anyone else in her house. It took me more than 6 months to be allowed in there. She's not going to let you in there for anything. That poses too many problems to count.”

“So, she won't come here, I'm not allowed in her house, and she won't meet us somewhere public?”

“Gosh no. She doesn't go out. Only to work and back and we have to leave when foot traffic is the lightest. Yes, we do get to work exceptionally early, before you ask.”

“Right. So, I can talk to her over the phone, if that's any help. You can stay at her house with her and put me on speaker?”

I nod, “That might work. And what about the injections if she decides to go for them?”

“Eli, I'm sure she's quite capable of giving herself an injection. Although, I have to check if they're both intravenous. I'm not sure about that at the moment. I don't think Dani will have any trouble with an intramuscular drug though. As awful as it is, I'm sure it's true.”

“Ok.” I honestly don't know what to say to that. The fact that she's an old hand at injecting herself doesn't sit right with me. It makes me angry at the people who put her in that position. It makes me want to hurt someone all over again.

“Eli?”

I jump at my dad's voice. “You were lost in thought. Anything you want to talk about?”

“No sir. I'm good.”

“Really?”

“Yes sir.”

My dad frowns and tentatively asks, “Did she give you permission to elaborate on what happened?”

“No.” My answer comes out harsher than intended, so I soften my voice and repeat my answer. “No, she didn't. She doesn't want you to know. She doesn't want anyone to know.”

“I think I have a fair idea, son. I've been thinking about it a lot. I've added a few things up on my own and if I'm honest, it doesn't calculate to very nice things.”

“I don't think you can even fathom the magnitude, dad.”

In spite of the heavy topic, my dad chuckles and says, “Fathom? Magnitude? Wow, Dani's intelligence is having a positive effect on you. Next thing you know, you'll be learning Russian...”

I'm sure he catches my sheepish look, so I clarify, “I've picked up a few things. I'm trying to learn, but she doesn't know that so don't say anything. I kind of want to surprise her but I also want to learn it for other reasons.”

I don't want to tell him its so I can try to understand what they're saying if ever we bump into Viktor or anyone else.

“Wow, just wow.”

We're silent for a few minutes and he breaks the silence by whispering, “She's a strong girl, Eli. If she's been through even half the things I'm imagining, then she's stronger than any of us.”

“You have no idea how strong she actually is. I mean, yeah, she can't cope with the mental side of things, but I think that's mostly because of the way her brain works. It won't let her forget a single detail. Imagine reliving our worst days in battle over and over again; never forgetting a single solitary detail; never having anything fade. That would drive us crazy, wouldn't it?”

“It sure would. I know I still remember some sights, sounds and smells, but they do fade somewhat with time. If it didn't, we'd all be hospitalized I'm sure.”

“Exactly. We find a way to deal with it. For me and Ash, it's being on the team, shooting things and locking people up. I just have to find a way to get Dani through this bit so we can figure out how she can deal with it. To do that, I need her to be more rested and have a slightly clearer head.”

“We'll find a way Eli. I'll try everything I know and some things I don't. We'll find a way.”

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END of Eli's POV