Chapter Sixty-Six



Eli

It's almost midnight when my dad appears in front of Ash, the Cap and I. This time he's with another doctor who is dressed in scrubs. I'm guessing this is one of the doctors who performed Dani's surgery. I try to read their expressions, but they are keeping very straight faced, so I don't know what the news is going to be. I try to brace myself for the worst as my pops opens his mouth.

“Eli? This is Dr. Stone. He was in surgery with Dani.”

“Hi Lieutenant Ramirez. Would you like to step into the waiting room with us?”

I can't wait for the bad news. I need to know it now.

I manage to scrape out, “Is Dani ok?”

Dr. Stone is very grim faced as he says, “Ok is a very loose term, Lieutenant. I would like to discuss this further in private, but I assure you, Miss Romanov is out of surgery and in intensive care.”

I feel the breath leave me in a whoosh. She's still alive. That's a good thing. She managed to make it through the surgery. I always knew my Dani was a fighter. I step into the waiting room and my dad and Dr. Stone follow me.

“Just tell me straight, Doctor.”

“Take a seat, son. You look like you need to rest.”

“I'll rest when I know what's happening. Just tell me, what's the prognosis?”

“Ok. As it stands, she made it through surgery, but she is in a very critical condition. We lost her 4 times during surgery, but we managed to get her stable and comfortable enough to finish the procedure. She has a severe head trauma, a number of fractures and various contusions and lacerations. She had two gun shot wounds to the abdomen, which caused a great deal of blood loss. We managed to stem the internal bleeding and repair the damage but we are not sure if that will be enough to keep her out of the woods. Her heart is very weak as it stands now, so the next 48-72 hours are extremely critical. She has been processed by a member of CSU, so we have tried to clean her up as best as we can.”

Dr. Stone looks at my dad and says, “Don, I'd like to have a quick word with the Lieutenant alone, if you don't mind. I will be quick, I promise.”

My dad nods and steps out of the room. What can the doctor possibly have to say to me that my dad can't hear? I don't have to wait very long to find out, because Dr. Stone gets straight to it.

“I have to warn you that there are signs of rape...”

I want to punch something. It wasn't enough that they had to nearly kill her, but they had to do that as well?! I turn away from Dr. Stone as I try to control my anger. I crouch down and rest my hands on my knees as I try to control my emotions, but I can't stop a sob from escaping. I just about hear Dr. Stone say, “I am so sorry, Lieutenant. I thought you should hear it from me, rather than one of your colleagues.”

I check myself and manage to whisper, “Was she conscious when that happened?”

“Probably. We can't be completely sure, but there are things we look for in these kinds of cases. We see certain signs in conscious victims that are not present in unconscious victims. I'm sure you don't want to know the details, so I'll spare you those.”

“No. Thank you. What am I to expect now?”

“She'll be in a coma for a while. We'll keep her in a medically induced coma so we can keep her comfortable and allow her body time to heal. If she makes it through the next 72 hours, then she's got a good chance of recovery. However, there is also a chance she will be brain damaged. Again, I can't say for certain, but with the severe head trauma and the fact that she flat-lined so many times, we can't be sure if her brain was starved of oxygen for too long. I will assure you that we tried our utmost to give her the best chance at a full recovery. At the moment, it's just a waiting game. I want to tell you to keep up hope, but I am required to tell you that you should prepare to say your goodbyes. There are studies to suggest that coma patients can still hear their surroundings, so talking to her won't hurt. I am very sorry, Lieutenant. No one deserves this kind of treatment.”

I stare at him with glassy eyes. I refuse to say goodbye to Dani like this. I just won't do it. She'll make it through this; she has to.

“We couldn't help but notice that Miss Romanov is covered in old scar tissue.”

I automatically think, What has that got to do with anything?

“It would suggest that she has been through a lot of horrible things and that she's a fighter. However, we have no medical records for her until last year when yourself and your colleague took her to St. Peters. Did she have medical treatment out of the country? It would be helpful if we could get her notes. We need to know about any preexisting conditions or any allergies she may have...”

“No medical treatment that I know of. I've only known her for a year and a half. I'm sorry I can't be more help, doctor. My dad did tell you she's a recovering addict, didn't he?”

“Yes, he did. So did the medics, thank you. We have her on some pretty heavy drugs at the moment, but as soon as we know she's more comfortable and healing better, then we will look at reducing the dosage and changing the drugs, if possible. We are giving her anti-inflammatories to reduce any form of swelling on her brain, just to prevent any complications from that. We will do a full body scan after the 72 hours, to check for blood clots. We can't give her too many blood thinners as we need her blood to clot enough to heal the wounds. It's all a very fine balance of medications. If you have any questions, please ask. I understand that you are tired and worried, so you probably aren't thinking clearly right now. My shift has ended, but the on call doctor will come and see you to introduce himself and check Miss Romanov's vitals. Please, ask us anything. I don't want you to feel like you are alone in this. We are here to help any way that we can. I will leave you to process all of this information and a nurse will show you to Miss Romanov's room as soon as you are ready.”

I nod and step forward. I take Dr. Stone's hand and shake it firmly as I say, “Thank you for your work, Doctor. I really do appreciate everything you have done.”

“You're very welcome, son. I only hope I did enough. I will be saying an extra prayer for both of you tonight.”

“Thank you, sir.”

He's gone before I can even blink. I take a deep breath and rub my hands over my face. Suddenly my body feels exceptionally heavy and I'm not sure I can even stand up anymore. I finally rip my tactical gear off and throw it across the room. I want to lose it. I want to cry. I want to shout. I want to hit something. I want to shoot something. But I know I can't. Not yet. I need to stay strong for just a little bit longer, I need to see Dani first and then I can let it all out. She's the only one I'm comfortable sharing these emotions with. Maybe not my anger, but my pain I need to share with her. Even if she can't see or hear me; I need to share it all with her. I sit for a moment, to collect myself. I rub my hands over my face again and there's a knock on the door. Ash and the Cap appear shortly after.

Ash whispers, “Hey. How you holding up?”

“ You spoken to my pops?”

“Yeah, he told us what the scene is. Maybe not in the same detail as you, but we have the main points. What happens now?”

“We wait. That's all we can do. I'm going to sit with her in a bit, I just need to collect myself first.”

“Understandable. You need to eat something, Eli. I know you don't want to, but you have to. If you're not going to sleep, then you need to eat to keep your energy up...”

Just that comment makes me think of my mom and I panic. “Has anyone called my ma?”

“Yes. Your dad spoke to her a few minutes ago. He said he called her earlier to tell her he'd be home late because Dani was in surgery, but he didn't go into details. She said she'd come here in the morning to check on you. She didn't think you'd want to be smothered right now.”

“She's right. I just need to see Dani. Cap? Who processed her?”

“Really, Eli? You want to know that right now? You don't really need to know any of this information...”

“Actually, I do. I don't just stop being a cop because it's Dani. In actual fact, it's going to make me more so. I want to know everything. I want to know what's being done so I can head things in any direction I see fit. I need to know it's being done the way the I'd do it.”

He sighs and nods before saying, “I pulled in a favor and got someone outside of our precinct. Her name is Rachel Strong. She's a great investigator and she's been a good friend for a long time. She'll do this right, Eli. She'll be working with Tom, but everyone is under strict instructions not to discuss this with anyone else. They know better than to disobey my orders. I need to get back to the precinct to check what's going on, but keep me updated. I want to know as soon as anything changes and if you need me for anything at all, I want you to call me straight away. That's an order, Ramirez.”

“Yes sir. Thanks.”

He pulls me up and into a strong embrace. While it does give me some kind of comfort, it's Dani's arms that I want around me; no one else's.

Once the Cap has gone, I turn to Ash and say, “You need to call Greggson and update him. It was Babkin. Arrow saw them go into Dani's building. I don't know how we're going to present this without giving Arrow away, but I really need him to stay on these guys for as long as possible. We can't have any of them disappearing, unless it's under our terms.”

“Eli, I'll deal with it. You need to worry about yourself and Dani right now. I'll do everything just like you taught me. We'll get them. There's no way we can let them get away with this.”

“They got to her without us even knowing, Ash. I don't know how long she was there, waiting for me to find her. If I'd have realized sooner, maybe she wouldn't be in such a critical state...”

“No, don't do this. They know our responsibility is to the citizens of New York. They knew we'd do our jobs and it's not our fault, or your fault, for doing what we were trained to do. Unfortunately, they used that against us, but we will win this war with them. I don't care what we have to do, we will win it.”

“We can't risk anything getting thrown out in court. We have to be completely straight down the line on this. As much as I want to kill them, we can't. Call Arrow, I can't deal with that right now. I need to see Dani.”

“I'll make the calls. Go sit with Dani and I'll bring you something to eat.”

When the nurse shows me to Dani's room, I hesitate at the door. This does not look like my Dani. I think she looks worse than when I found her. Geez, they seriously did a number on her. She looks frail and grey, a bit like a ghost; like she's already half dead. I cautiously walk into the room and sit on the chair next to her bed. I almost feel like if I make any sudden movements or sounds, I'll disturb her. I know that's ridiculous, because the doctors have her in a medically induced coma, there's no way she's waking from that on her own.

They've put a gown on her, but I can still see a lot of the damage that has been done. Both of her arms are in casts, as is one of her legs. She has a big bandage on her head and her face is swollen and terribly bruised

and cut. Even if Dani was awake, she wouldn't be able to open her eyes, because they are too swollen. Her fingers are poking out of the cast, so I entwine my fingers with her's as I sit next to her. I don't say or do anything else. I'm not sure I could, even if I wanted to. I need to allow my brain to catch up with the rest of me, so I just sit there and wait.

I don't know how long it is before Ash appears with a sandwich and a big cup of coffee. He whispers, “Hey. LT? You want me to just leave this here?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“No worries. Eat, and that's an order. Otherwise I'll tell your mom you refused to eat.”

Despite everything, a tiny smile tugs at the corner of my mouth. I know my mom would have something to say about that.

“I'll eat, Ash.”

“Good.”

Ash turns to leave and just as he's in the doorway, I call him, “Ash?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks. Just.... thanks.”

“Don't even mention it, seriously. I'll be back to check in tomorrow. Call me if you need me. I don't care what time it is or what it's about. Even if you just need to hear a familiar voice, you pick up that phone. You hear me?”

“Yes sir. Thanks.”

He nods and is gone. As the smell of the sandwich hits my nostrils, my stomach growls. I haven't eaten since Christmas dinner, which is over 24 hours ago. I grab the food and slowly eat, trying to think of the best way to express my emotions.

I sip my coffee, while keeping my fingers linked with Dani's. I take a deep breath and I whisper, “I am so so sorry, sweetheart. I should have been there; I should have protected you; I should have brought you to the precinct. I'm so sorry you had to go through this... I am so scared right now. I'm frightened I'm going to lose you. I need you to fight, Dani. I need you to be strong. I need you to fight this and make it back to me. I need you to have a chance at a good life. I can't imagine life without you; I don't want to imagine life without you. Maybe that's selfish of me, and maybe I'm not thinking about how much pain you are in or how difficult this all is for you, but I want good things for you. Even if I'm not in the picture, I want you to have a good life. I don't even know if you can hear me, but if you can, please fight. Don't let them win, I am begging you to fight...”

I rest my head on the edge of the bed and I let the tears fall; the grief I've been holding in for all these hours finally makes it's way out of my tired body.