I am sooooooooo sorry it has taken me this long to upload. There's an explanation in the author's note at the end. Please let me know what you think of this chapter & I hope you enjoy! :-)



Chapter Eight

As soon as Eli leaves, I go to the shower. I can't believe I fell asleep with him here! I'm so angry at myself right now! That was a stupid and dangerous thing to do! What was I thinking?! Between my anger and the nightmare, by the time I get out of the shower my skin is raw and almost bleeding from all the scrubbing I do. I can't stop being so angry with myself. I'm actually furious that I would allow myself to sleep with someone else in the room. I learned very quickly not to do that. If you weren't asleep, no one could take you by surprise.

A small voice inside was trying to get through to me. It was saying, 'Nothing happened, did it? Eli isn't as bad as you think. There's something different about him. You know it, you just don't want to admit it...'

I sighed and whispered, “They're all the same. They just wait until you're least expecting it and then they hurt you. That's what they all do. If I expect it, then at least I can try to prepare myself...”

I went through my morning routine of yoga and trying to cover up the dark circles under my eyes. I picked out a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and an oatmeal sweater to wear to work. I put a pair of brown combat boots on and my jacket before I headed out the door.

If I'm completely honest, the next few days were lonely because Eli wasn't there. I didn't realise how much I had come to depend on his incessant babbling until it wasn't there. I'm not saying that I was comfortable with him, but he did get me out of my own headspace even if it was only for a short time.

Ash appeared at the stairwell door on Friday evening. I'd had to stay later to finish processing some data for the Captain and it was nearly 8pm. Ash held the door open and motioned for me to step through. I shook my head and whispered, “You first, please.” He shrugged and stepped into the stairwell.

He asked, “How you doing, Dani?”

“Fine, sir. You?”

“Yeah, I'm good thanks. Eli asked me to make sure you're ok. He'll be away longer than he thought so he wants me to keep an eye on you.”

“I'm ok, sir. Thanks though.”

“He's a worry wart. I guess he can't help it. How are you settling in? Everyone been treating you well?”

“Yes sir.” I didn't really mix with anyone, so I didn't really have a true answer to that question.

“You really should come out with the team one night. We usually have a great laugh when we all let loose...”

“No thank you, sir.... This is my floor. Thanks for checking on me, but I'm fine.”

I couldn't escape quick enough and I sighed when I stepped into the safety of my house. I spent some time on the treadmill, did some more yoga and then made dinner. I sat down to eat and the sense of boredom and loneliness washed over me again. I never used to get that feeling; it must be down to Eli and probably to some extent, Ash. They were trying to befriend me and they were slowly succeeding, I guess. I wasn't friends with them or anything, but they were starting to worm their way into my life without my consent.

I tried to busy myself in the apartment and make myself sleepy enough not to dream before I went to bed. It was Friday night and I'm sure everyone was out having a great time, while I was stuck at home too scared to go anywhere. It was midnight before I actually crawled into bed.

I was in a small room, thick smoke made the room even darker than it already was. I could hear the bass of the music thumping from outside; I could feel it in my stomach every time the bass pounded. I tried to escape from the room, but the door was locked. I crawled away from the door and tried to hide in the corner. I could hear voices outside the door and I silently begged them to keep walking passed. 'Please don't come in here... please.... please...' I heard the latch unclip and my heart sunk. My body froze. I couldn't even cry anymore. Two big men appeared in the doorway. One I recognized, the other I didn't. The one I didn't recognise looked me up and down, smirked and nodded. They grabbed me and took me out of the security of this small room and dragged me into a bigger room with even more smoke clouding it. I could smell the drugs that were being smoked, I could smell and taste the sweat and dirt that was seeping from the men's pores. I could feel all the hands, reaching out to me; touching me, grabbing at me. I whimpered and tried to move, but I felt the hands on my left and right grip me tighter. I heard someone chuckle and speak in Russian. They said, “I'll take her.” To which the reply was, “Do what you want.” I was passed on to someone else and taken to a private room, where I received a number of punches to the stomach. I whimpered and crawled away, but that led me to a small cot. The man was advancing towards me and he huskily whispered, “There's no point in fighting it. You know what's going to happen...”

I sat up and screamed. I rushed to the bathroom and threw up into the toilet. I rested my head against the bowl and sobbed freely. I never used to be so weak. I never used to cry. I thought I had no more tears to cry, but obviously I had made new ones. I need to be strong; I need to get on with my life, but they have broken me and I don't know if I can ever be fixed. That thought rips at my heart. I'm disgusting; I'm broken and disgusting. No one can make it better, no one can take it away. I sobbed my heart out for everything I'd already lost and for everything that I would miss out on. I couldn't calm myself down, even with trying to count out loud and before I knew what I was doing, the phone was pressed to my ear waiting for someone to answer.

As soon as I heard Eli's groggy, “Hello?” the floodgate of tears opened again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



(Eli's POV)

As soon as I said, “Hello?” I just heard sobbing. I was instantly awake, like someone had just poured ice cold water on me. I take a guess and ask, “Dani? Is that you?”

Through her sobs, she answers, “I'm sorry sir. I just didn't know what else to do... I can't calm.... down and I know.... I'm going to.... pass out.....”

“Ok, ok sweetheart. Just count with me....”

I try to get her to count out loud, but it isn't working. She has got herself into a right state.

“Dani? What happened? Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong....”

“N... Ni.... Nightmare.....”

“Ok, ok. It's ok, baby. You want to talk about it? It might help...”

“No sir. Just... just make it stop... please?”

I have to try to calm her down. This is getting out of control.

“What's your favourite song, Dani?”

I can feel her confusion through the phone, as she hiccups and whispers, “Gravity, sir.”

“Ah, John Mayer. How did I know you'd choose one of his songs? You want me to sing it to you? I have to warn you, my voice isn't great...”

“Ok, sir.”

I smile slightly, when I hear her sobs subside a little. I clear my throat and quietly start singing the song. By the time I'm into the 2nd verse, she's stopped crying and her breathing is somewhat normal again. I think I hear her humming along quietly, but I can't be sure. I finish the song and whisper, “Baby?”

“Yes sir?”

“You ok now?”

“Yes sir. Thank you. I'm sorry I woke you up...”

“It's all cool. I made you promise, didn't I?”

“I know, but still...”

“It's fine, Dani. I'd rather you call than have to deal with it on your own. I told you, I'm here to help.”

I think she's contemplating a response, but she just says, “Thank you, sir.”

“What happened, Dani?” I know she's probably going to shoot me down, or at least dodge the question, but I have to ask.

“Please, sir, I'd really rather not talk about it.”

“You sure? I think it would really help you....”

I hear her breathing hike up a notch and I fear that she's going to panic again so I say, “Hey, it's ok. I'm here when you're ready. Ash told me he saw you this evening. He didn't scare you, did he? I know he can be a bit overwhelming sometimes.”

“No, he was ok. He told me you asked him to check up on me...”

“He ratted me out, huh? I just wanted to know you're ok. I know you'll tell me you are, even if you're not. So, how's work been? Busy much?”

“Very. The Captain has me accessing all the databases he can think of. I think he's testing me...”

“Probably. He'll want to know what you're capable of in case of an emergency. He's a good man, Dani. You can trust him.”

“Yes sir.”

She hesitates before asking, “When are you back, sir?”

I smile when I hear that question. She must be missing me somewhat. “I should be back on Wednesday afternoon. I have to pop into the precinct on my way back from the airport so I should see you then. You want me to cook for you on Wednesday night?”

“It's ok, sir. I'm sure you'll be tired.”

“I'll be fine. I'm looking forward to seeing you. I've missed your company.”

She quietly whispered, “I don't see how. I don't even talk...”

“Hey, hey. No negative thoughts, sweetheart. You're doing so much better than before. You actually hold a conversation with me now. So, what book are you on now?” I didn't want to dwell on how she was doing too long, because I know Dani will just clam up again. I know that much about her already.

“North By Northwestern.”

I'm sure she can hear how confused I am when I ask, “What's that?”

“It's an autobiography by Sig Hansen. He's a crab fisherman in the Bering Sea. He's on a show called 'The Deadliest Catch'.”

“Ah, I see. I think Ash watches that show. Do you watch it?”

“Sometimes. Eli?”

“Yes sweetheart?”

“Shouldn't you get some sleep?”

I decide to let a truth slip out and see how she takes it. “I'd rather talk to you, actually.”

“Really?”

She sounds shocked, which tugs at my heart. To think that she doesn't feel important or loved actually feels like a punch to my stomach. I don't think I would survive without my family and friends.

“Yes, really. I don't need to sleep if it means hearing your voice.” I hear her sob and I'm scared I've upset her so I quickly ask, “Baby? Did I upset you?”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why are you being so nice? Don't you see what's wrong with me? Don't you see how broken I am?”

I hear her gasp, like she's just realised what she's said and before I know it, she's hung up. I try calling her back over and over again, but she doesn't pick up. I slam my phone down on the bed and growl. I really really wish I wasn't nearly 300 miles away. I need to make sure she's ok, but I know sending Ash round there will not go down well. I sigh and rub my hands over my face before picking up my phone and hitting redial again.

END of Eli's POV

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



A/N: I have to really apologise for the delay in posting this chapter. I've had a bit of writer's block, plus work has been manic. My dog had her puppies at the beginning of November last year & we lost a few of them on the night. She didn't cope with that very well & I lost another one when it was six weeks old. So, it's been a very stressful and upsetting time for the dogs and myself. I hope you all understand & I hope to post a bit more frequently.

I'd appreciate votes and comments. I would like to know what you guys think of the story & if it's worth carrying on with it.

Thanks!! :-D