Chapter Ninety-Four



Dani



I'm hugging the wall, trying to make myself as small and insignificant as possible. At least I'm not completely naked now. The coat doesn't cover me totally, but it's better than just the underwear I was wearing. I slowly shuffle out of the alley and attempt to find somewhere to hide. The drugs are still in my system and my judgement is clouded. Although, maybe that's a good thing. Maybe now is the best time to find a hostel or something, I can pretend I'm sick. That wouldn't be hard to fake right now.

As I approach the mouth of the alley, I take a look at my surroundings. I can see a metal snake. There are screams and lots of lights. I can smell many different types of food, but the smells that are the strongest, are Russian foods. They make me long for my momma but they also make me acutely aware that Russians are here somewhere. I need to get as far away from here as possible, to reduce the risk of someone finding me. Probably half of the Russian population of New York have visited that awful place, so someone will recognize me.

My stomach growls at all the smells of food and I realize how hungry I actually am. I can't worry about that right now, I need to get away. Under the cover of darkness, I walk for what feels like miles. I keep walking long after the screams and the smell of Russian food have faded. New York hasn't changed a great deal since I was a child. People are still so wrapped up in themselves to notice what's going on around them. I'm thankful for this, because no one seems to even look at the strange, beat up girl in the trench coat. Just when I think I can't walk anymore, I stumble upon a small hostel type house. I can see the front desk through a small window and the lady behind the desk shoots me a smile.

I take a deep breath and grasp the handle of the door, trying to think of a way to give an explanation.

The lady takes a long look at me before saying, “Oh my dear! You must be freezing. What are you doing out there with no shoes on?”

I start to speak in Russian but then I remember I have to speak English.

“I was thrown out...”

“You have nothing with you?”

I shake my head and stare at the ground.

“Well, we can't have that. I have a daughter around your age. Let's see if we can find you something to wear. You can stay here until you get back on your feet.”

As kind as she may be, I can't accept that offer. Who knows what she wants in return.

I quietly say, “Oh no, ma'am. I can't do that.”

“I'm not going to ask what you're running from, dear, but I know when a young girl is in trouble. I won't turn you out onto the street, knowing you're in some kind of trouble. I'll give you a room at the back and I won't trouble you. Once you're back on your feet, then you can find some way to repay me. Ok?”

Something inside of me knows she's right and that she's telling me the truth. I don't know how I know and I didn't even think it was possible to believe someone again.

I nod slightly, as a single tear slips down my cheek. I whisper, “Thank you, ma'am. I will repay you for everything.”

“I know you will, dear. You seem like a good girl. We'll need to work on your accent if you want to blend in a bit better. There's a television in the room, so you can watch some shows to work on that. My name is Beth. What should I call you?”

“Dani.”

“Ok, Dani. I'll show you to your room and I'll grab you some clothes. You look like you could do with a hot meal or 2. Are you hungry?”

My stomach growls loudly, leaving the question answered without a verbal response.

She chuckles, “I'll take that as a yes, then. Let's get you some clothes before you wash up. I'll bring some food to you once I've cooked something up...”



I jump awake and find Eli tense and ready for trouble.

His voice is on edge as he asks, “What? What's wrong?”

“There was a metal snake...”

“Huh?”

“I remembered a metal snake. There was screaming and I could smell Rassolnik and Blini...”

“I'm a bit confused, baby. What are you talking about?”

“Where they left me. I remember hearing screams and the smell of food. Russian food.”

“You're sure it was Russian food?”

“Yes sir. My momma used to make that soup and those pancakes. I know those smells.”

“Ok. You did good, baby.”

Up until this point, I didn't really remember my first encounter with Beth. I think I purposely shut out any memory of her and my time there. I stayed there for over a year before I made enough money to pay her back and get out of there. That's when I got my apartment. Speaking of my apartment, I need to talk about that with Eli. Now is as good a time as any.

“Eli, I need to sell my apartment.”

“I know. You told me in the hospital.”

“I did?”

“Yep. Probably around the time of the withdrawal. I asked my mom to sell it, but we need to find somewhere to put all your stuff. I had an idea, but my mom told me to talk to you about it first.”

I pick at my fingers, waiting. I'm also thinking about Beth and what I should do about that now I've remembered.

“I suggested selling my apartment and buying somewhere close to here. Somewhere we can live together. How would you feel about that?”

Surprisingly, I'm not overwhelmed by the idea. I mean, it's a little bit scary, because I'll have nowhere to hide, but surely Ash or Connie would take me in if I needed them to, right?

I hear my poppa's voice, “This is the right thing to do, Svetlyak. You should do this. He's a good man. He loves you and he'll take care of you.”

I'm learning not to question my poppa's voice, so I just say, “Ok.”

“Really? Ok?”

“Yes sir. Is it any different to our current situation?”

“No, not really, but I was expecting to have to convince you. I wasn't prepared for such a definite answer. Not that I'm complaining at all. I'm thrilled you're comfortable enough to say yes. Thank you. I'll ask my mom to start looking.”

“Eli?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“I need to go somewhere...”

“Now?”

“No, yes... I think so.”

He glances at his watch and says, “Babe, it's 2am.”

“I don't want to go on my own, Eli.”

“I'd never make you go anywhere on your own. Where do we need to go?”

“Brooklyn.”

“Brooklyn? At this time of night? Really?”

“She'll be awake, I know it.”

“Ok. Let's get going then.”

“You're not going to question it?”

“No ma'am. If you need to go somewhere, then that's what we're going to do. I know you wouldn't ask unless you felt it was important, so let's do this.”

I nod, “Thank you.”

The drive to Beth's is filled with silence. I know Eli wants to ask questions, but he either doesn't quite know what to ask or maybe he doesn't want to pry. I'm lost in my thoughts, wondering what on earth I'm going to say to the lady that was like a mother to me for all those months. I basically shut her out of my life and now I feel awful for doing that to her.

Eli's voice breaks through my thoughts, “Where do I go from here, Dani?”

I direct him to that little house on Christopher Avenue and he pulls the car to a stop. I make no attempt to move and he just sits there, watching me.

“What are we doing here, baby?”

“I need to see her. I have to say sorry. I just shut her out of my mind and I shouldn't have done that. I just didn't want any reminders of that life.”

“Was she involved? Whoever 'she' is?”

“Oh! No sir. She took me in after. I walked here that night and she helped me. She let me stay here until I got my apartment. She was so good to me and I just walked away. I have to tell her how sorry I am.”

“Ok. I'm right here with you. You can do this. We can do this together. Ok?”

I nod and he gets out of the car before helping me out. We stand in front of the front door for a minute or two. Mostly so I can get my thoughts together. Eli doesn't look worried or fazed by this whole situation, but then he never looks out of place. He's always in control. I love that about him and I'm so jealous of the fact he can be like that. I wish I had that skill, instead of falling apart at the smallest of things.

The bell dings as soon as Eli touches the door. That's new. There wasn't a bell here when I left all those years ago. I hear her voice before I see her, “I'll be with you in just a minute. I just have to finish up this sum...”

I look around the entrance room, comparing it to the last time I saw it. I do this partly to distract myself and partly to reminisce. The décor has changed. There's a more modern feel to it now, but it's just as clean and tidy as ever.

Her voice snaps my attention back to the desk, “How can I help you?”

She looks at my face for a few seconds and when she stares into my eyes, I hear her gasp.

“Is it really you? No, it can't be! Is it really my Dani?! I never thought I'd see another pair of eyes that color, so please tell me it's you...”

My voice is thick with emotion as I say, “It's me.”

“Oh! My dear!”

She's out from behind the desk quicker than I can blink and her arms are wrapped around me before I even have a chance to process the thought of freaking out. She seems to realize what she's done because she backs up almost immediately and apologizes. I can see the unshed tears in her eyes and it makes me feel even more terrible for just forgetting about her.

“It's ok. I'm so sorry, Beth. I am so so sorry. I shouldn't have forgotten about you. I shouldn't have just walked away and left you to wonder what had happened. I'm so sorry.”

“I don't know what to say. I can't believe you're here. I thought I'd never see you again. I wished for the day, but... It is so good to see you. You must come and sit with me. I just can't believe it!”

It's now that she notices my leg and then she remembers Eli.

“It looks like you have a lot to tell me, Dani. You still remember where the kitchen is, right?”

“Yes ma'am.”

“Still so polite, I see. Go on ahead to the kitchen while I lock the door. I don't want anyone to disturb our time together. You must tell me about this handsome gentleman.”

She smiles affectionately at me and then him and if I didn't know Eli any better, I would swear I see a blush form on his cheeks. However, this is Eli and I do know him better. Eli doesn't blush, so that's not what I saw. I lead him back to the kitchen and fill the kettle before Beth appears, smiling brightly.

She breathes out, “You're really here...”

“I am. Beth, this is Eli. Eli, this is Beth. She helped me when I didn't have anyone else.”

Eli steps up and is his usual polite and charming self, “It's good to meet you, ma'am. Thank you for taking care of my Dani. I am forever grateful for that.”

“Your Dani? He's quite the charmer, isn't he, Dani?”

“Yes ma'am.”

“So, are you Dani's friend, boyfriend, husband...?”

“Wow, no beating around the bush, huh?”

“Nope. I've got too much to catch up on to do that.”

“I'm her boyfriend, ma'am. We work together as well.”

“You do? What is your job?”

“I'm a police officer and Dani works in our precinct.”

“You work with the cops, Dani?”

“Yes ma'am. I'm an analyst.”

“Wow. So, your leg? How'd that happen?”

I swallow the lump in my throat and simply say, “Someone broke into my home.”

“Oh no! I hope you found them and made them pay, Eli.”

“We're working on it.”

“Good. So, tell me everything, Dani...”

So, the three of us sit in Beth's kitchen and I try to fill her in as much as I can. Obviously, the details don't involve my messed up history or exactly what I've been through to get to this point, but I tell her about Eli, his family, my job and Ash. She's thrilled that I've got a family and some friends in my life and that I'm doing much better. Although I had broken my addiction by the time I'd left Beth's, I wasn't exactly the picture of health back then. I was a nervous wreck and I panicked at the smallest of things. She even notices that Eli's holding my hand. If the smile that's on her face is anything to go by, she seems pleased by that fact.

It's nearing 5am when I say, “I'm sorry Beth, but we have to get to work soon. Can I come back though?”

“Of course you can! You don't ever have to ask. This is your home as well, Dani. I really am so happy that you came back. I thought whatever you were running from had caught up with you. I feared I'd never see you again.”

“I'm sorry I made you worry. Honestly? I didn't think you'd remember me...”

“I could never forget that young girl in the trench coat. I am so proud of who you have become. It's almost like seeing a long lost daughter. Don't you dare be a stranger, you hear me?”

“Yes ma'am.”

“Eli, I expect you to bring Dani back for more visits. You are both welcome here any time. Understood?”

“Loud and clear, ma'am.”

Beth sees us out and she gives both of us firm hugs before we get back into the car. The city's day life is starting to wake up and the night life is just getting ready to sleep. Eli watches me for a few seconds and then he says, “She's a good lady.”

“She really is. If you'd have seen me that night, you wouldn't have taken me in. She could have called the cops on me and I wouldn't have blamed her. But she didn't. Instead, she offered me clothes, a room and food for free. That was more than I could have asked for.”

“I'm thankful she did. You said you walked here? Do you think you can retrace that route? Maybe we can find where you started.”

I take a deep breath and try to steady my thumping heart. It feels like it might leap out of my chest. If I get there and someone recognizes me, then it's all over. They'll kill me right there. But, if I don't get seen then maybe we can actually take these people down. I never imagined I'd be able to think about that, let alone actually do it.

“If you don't want to do this right now, we can do it another time. I have an idea where you might have been left, but if we can narrow the search down it would be very helpful.”

“Ok. But we don't have to get out of the car, right?”

“No ma'am. We can stay in the car and if you think it's getting too dangerous, then we'll leave. If you see anyone you recognize, then we'll leave straight away. Ok?”

I nod and he quickly calls the Cap to tell him we're following up on a lead so we'll be a little late in to work. Well, here goes nothing. Those drugs must be doing something quite amazing in my body, because while I'm not entirely comfortable, I'm not in full freak out mode yet. Maybe things really are starting to get better.