Hey, I'm Jake and I'd been having a pretty boring year in school and wanted a dang break. ...Well, I got the break from school because of a sudden murder. Sadly (for me, mostly) the murder had to do with my new... "friend" : a psychotic, homicidal, obsessive, possessive, genius, and cunning stalker, who also has an irritating sense of humor. Yeah. How I stumbled onto the stalker of all stalkers? no. dang. clue. All I know is that they text me obsessively and threaten to kill my friends and family if I throw away my phone or tell anyone about them. I also don't know who the heck they are, so I could be dealing with a pedophile or even a (shudders) girl. Well, they already cover the categories of insane, murderous, and annoying, so I'm already pretty much screwed.

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AN: Sorry I posted the summary twice (accident), on to chapter 1! >>>>>>>>>>