Okay, here’s Chapter Eight! Do me a huge favor: go back and comment/vote on all the chapters before this, cuz they all got deleted by accident and I just reuploaded them yesterday :P it sucked. So yeah. Happy weekend, y’all, thank the Lord it’s finally Friday. And THANKSGIVING BREAK next week I can’t even discuss my joy right now…lots of writing time, I hope!! :D and sleeping haha. All right, enjoy, and please: fan!! Vote!!! Comment!!

Gracias!!! <3 vb123321

Chapter Eight



♥ Astrid ♥



Joel directed us to a small but tidy-looking house on the edge of the neighborhood, brightly lit with Christmas lights and candy canes lining the path leading up to the door. He led us eagerly up it, stopping at the door and searching his pockets for a full minute before giving up and ringing the doorbell.



“I think I lost the key,” he told us, looking sheepish. “Sorry.”



“It’s fine,” I replied automatically, hiding a smile again as I took in the impatience on his face while he shifted from foot to foot. He looked so much like Jay that it was making my chest hurt, my mind still barely accepting what my eyes were seeing. I could only hope I wasn’t coming off too creepy, because I couldn’t help staring.



At the sound of the bell, a loud barking filled the house inside, coming closer as footsteps came near the door. It swung open to reveal a harassed-looking woman with short blonde hair. She grabbed the collar of a massive St. Bernard, holding it back with some effort as she called over her shoulder in a relieved tone, “Dan, Joel’s back.”



“Good!” came a deeper, more irritable voice. “Give him crap from me, will you?”



Joel shuffled his feet, glancing at us awkwardly. “Um, sorry. I sort of forgot to tell you – I was supposed to be back–”



“–at nine, yes,” said the woman, sounding resigned more than anything. “I suppose you forgot again? Courtney, will you please come contain the dog?” she called into the house, and a complaining teenaged girl came into the hall, yanking the dog away from the door and giving us a curious look.



“Sorry, Aunt Angie.” Joel didn’t sound too concerned. “Um, can I introduce you to Astrid and Josh? They were old neighbors of mine from several years ago.”



Aunt Angie shoved her hair out of her face, looking at us closely, and then recognition shone through. “Oh, of course.” She smiled warmly, extending a hand, and it was then that I realized how familiar she looked. “Hello, Josh, Astrid. You may not remember me – I’m Joel’s mother’s sister. Angie McCormick.”



We shook her hand in turn, Josh glancing at me to confirm that he remembered her as well, and then she stepped aside, ushering us into her home. “Please excuse the mess,” she said, closing the door behind us. “Having a four-year-old in the house can be pretty crazy.” As we stood there, reveling in the warmth, she looked towards the stairs, which Joel was trying to sneak up. “Nice try, buster. Head on down to the kitchen, your uncle wants a word with you.”



Joel made a face, opening his mouth to protest as a yell came from further down the hall: “Mom! Joel forgot to feed Bernie again!”



He muttered something uncomplimentary.



“Joel!”



Glancing guiltily at his aunt, Joel bounded down the hall, crashing into the revolving door that I assumed led to the kitchen and adding to the cacophony of shouts within with loud protests. His terror in the alley seemed to be years away.



Angie sighed, wiping her hands on her jeans. “Sorry about all this,” she said, nodding towards the kitchen. “Weekends are always crazy, and Friday nights are the worst. But how have you two been?” And as Josh and I exchanged wary looks, she added, “Bit busy all around the globe, I bet.” She tipped us a wink as we stared at her with wide-eyes.



“You know?” asked Josh, ruffling his hair and looking confused.



She nodded, ushering us down the hall. “We – my husband Dan and I – learned from my sister years ago, although we never really thought much about it until…” She stopped just before the kitchen door, looking at us closely. “Do you know what happened in Montana?”



Josh and I exchanged another look, him nodding minutely. It was time we figured out what was going on. Coming to a swift decision, I said cautiously, “No. What happened in Montana?”



Angie bit her lip, indecisive, and then said quietly, “Go into the study – it’s the second door on the right down that hall, see? I’ll get Dan; we need to talk.”



Looking stressed, she took a deep breath and plunged into the kitchen, and a moment later, as we began to walk towards the study, we heard her voice calling for her husband, telling Joel to get his feet off the table, and asking Courtney to clean up her little brother at the same time. Shaking his head, Josh held the door of the study open and then followed me in, collapsing in a hardback wooden chair.



“Pretty chaotic place, don’t you think?”



I shrugged, leaning against the wall. “I don’t know. I like it. Reminds me of how the Nicholsons’ house used to be, and they only had two boys.”



Josh smiled, his head drooping forward. “Crazy as all hell,” he agreed. “But the best place on the block.” He sounded almost regretful.



After glancing around, I took a seat on a chair next to Josh, twirling the end of my braid rather gloomily. Another twist in the wonderful plot of Delta. Joel Nicholson. Who would have thought? The moment Pierre was taken out of my life, someone equally confusing was thrown in. How typical.



And now I was thinking of Pierre, how he had just left, how we had barely said good-bye…we had barely said anything those past few days. He hadn’t said anything about his time with Cloying’s men; probably had discussed them with Young, but no, I wasn’t important enough to know. I wasn’t important enough to know anything anymore, it seemed.



A few self-pitying minutes later, Angie entered the study, followed by a tall, dark-haired man with a beleaguered look on his face. They both looked at us for a moment, then at each other, and then Dan McCormick settled into a leather armchair facing Josh and I, gesturing for his wife to take the seat next to him. I felt suddenly nervous, wishing that I didn’t have to hear what was coming, as the look on the McCormicks’ faces was anything but encouraging.



“So.” Dan fixed us with a serious look. “You don’t know anything about what happened to the Nicholsons?”



I swallowed. “Well…I know some. What’s your side of the story?”



“Our side?” Angie looked confused. “As if there’s something else?” When neither of us said anything, she shrugged and glanced at her husband. “Well…I guess you know that they moved to Montana about three years ago, for security reasons or something to do with your agency, I believe.” She exhaled slowly. “And then…I think it was when Jay, the older son, you know, when he was home on leave…there was some sort of accident and the house blew up. Only Joel survived.”



My brain froze, my blood turning to ice. I could practically feel my face whitening, something confirmed by the concerned looks Angie and Dan were giving me as I sat, frozen, staring at them. Josh didn’t seem to be able to move as well, and when I engaged enough neurons to look at him, his face was so pale that I thought he might pass out. I had forgotten that I hadn’t really told him what had happened.



“Oh, my.” Angie sounded tearful. “I’m so sorry. I thought you knew. You were friends with Jay, weren’t you?” Her husband covered her hands with his own as she started blinking rapidly. “I’m sorry…it’s just, I never thought their involvement with that agency would end like that…and then your director showed up at our house to tell us that Joel had survived and needed a home…what could we do but say yes?”



For the umpteenth time that day, I found that I couldn’t speak. My jaw seemed to be glued shut as shock trickled through me. “Young,” the words finally came, “Alan Young told you that Joel was still alive?”



Dan’s eyebrows contracted. “Yes. Why?”



Why indeed? Why had Jay thought he was dead? And why – “Jay is…dead?” I managed, my voice sounding strangled, and Angie reached forward to embrace me. I jerked back abruptly, leaving her with a hurt look on her face, but she had misinterpreted the meaning behind my words. Her husband, while looking upset, was also giving me a slightly reproachful look, and my dazed brain searched for a way to explain.



“How would you react,” I began in a slow voice, my mind having trouble connecting words, “if I told you Jay was alive?”



Angie let out a little gasp, her hands flying to her mouth, but her husband looked at me with narrowed eyes. “Is this your idea of a joke?” he asked, a trifle coldly, and his wife gave him a wide-eyed look.



I shook my head, unable to say anything as Jay’s tortured face as he spoke about Joel came rushing back to me. How had they not told him? Josh glanced at me, and, seeing my inability to converse, said quietly, “We talked with him. In September. As far as we know, he’s still alive.”



“You – talked with him?” Dan’s voice was jerky; Angie clamped her hand even tighter over her mouth. I nodded weakly, and the couple exchanged a look of wonder and confusion. “Then why – why did your director tell us he was dead?”



“That,” said Josh grimly, “is something I would like to know as well. Astrid?”



“I don’t know,” I whispered, shaking my head. “I…don’t know.”



“Jay is alive.” Angie sounded awestruck. “But this means – we have to tell Joel – Dan, wait with them while I get him, will you?” She had gotten to her feet and was halfway towards the door when Josh and I stopped her with a harsh “No.” Pausing, she turned to us with a querying look. “Don’t you want him to know?”



“I…I don’t think he can handle it right now,” I explained lamely, and the McCormicks looked at me with skeptical expressions. Taking a deep breath, I tried once more. “He…Jay is sort of – involved – with something right now, and I don’t think Joel could handle…not being able to see him right away. You know what I’m saying?”



“No.” Dan’s voice was flat. “No, we don’t know. Explain.”



I bit my lip. What could I say? “Your nephew is involved with a terrorist group that plotted to kill the President and did kill my best friend”? Josh shifted beside me, running a hand through his hair again before taking the initiative and jumping in.



“He thinks Joel is dead,” he said bluntly. “He thinks his entire family is gone and Delta has been chasing him across the globe for the past three years because they think, well,” glancing at me, “think he’s part of some terrorist group.”



“The house…” I swallowed hard. “The house wasn’t blown up by a gas line explosion. Delta did it.” And as their eyes bugged out, “Jay told me, last September. He told me everything. Well,” I thought of Joel’s eyes, “not everything.”



“But why,” said Dan, still looking confused, “do you not want Jay to know? Doesn’t this make it even more imperative that he does?”



Josh laughed, short and bitter, and shook his head. “He’d go crazy.”



I winced at the looks on their faces, adding quickly, “We can wait until it’s a good time. It’s good for Joel, too.” Seeing their faces fall suddenly, I figured there was something I was missing in this equation. “How is Joel,” I looked for an appropriate way to say it, “I mean, how did he take all of this? He seems…happy.” Remembering the way his face had closed when he brought up Montana, I was struck by a sudden doubt.



Dan McCormick gave his wife a sort of a half-smile, obviously reminiscing about something. “Well,” he said, “Joel seems to have settled down here. It was a bit crazy at first – him moving in so suddenly – especially since our Luke was only one at the time, so our house was already chaotic. And Joel’s at that awkward age, you know, not wanting anyone but completely dependent at the same time.”



“He shows it strangely, the loss,” put in Angie with a small sigh. “I’ll say this much, he’s a happy kid. Nothing gets him down for long, even though he never talks about his family.” She hesitated. “He’s a nice kid, though, doesn’t get into drugs or alcohol or bad friendships like we thought he might, what with the sudden shock. But…”



“But what?” interjected Josh, rather imprudently.



Angie glanced at her husband. “Well, he has been diagnosed with ADD, you know” – we hadn’t, but it explained his jumpy behavior and fast speech – “and not that it’s a bad thing or anything, but it makes him hard to keep track of. It’s not extreme at all; in fact, he was only diagnosed a few years ago. You saw what he’s like; he forgets things easily, he doesn’t care, he’s easily distracted.” She sighed. “He’s what you might call carefree, I suppose, and I don’t know if that’s the ADD or something that was just built into him.”



“He’s a B average student,” continued her husband, “but not for lack of brains. Anyone could see he’s a bright kid, but he just doesn’t care or can’t concentrate enough to try. And his brain is haywire eighty percent of the time, so most things go in one ear and out the other. He’s not exactly disobedient so much as doesn’t pay attention to rules, which, as it turns out, most principals have trouble understanding.” He smiled wryly. “It also doesn’t help that he’s a basketball fanatic, always training for the season.”



“I never really understood the whole basketball thing,” said Angie with a slight smile. “Because he’s so clumsy – maybe it’s just the age – but on the court, it’s like he’s a completely different person. It’s like he is the most agile kid on earth, which, trust me, is not the case at home.”



“Really?” I said politely, and with perfect timing, we heard a colossal crash coming from the direction of the kitchen, followed by some high-pitched yells and shouts of apology. Josh met my eye and I couldn’t help grinning; the McCormicks, however, exchanged a resigned look. Dan stood, pushing his chair away.



“I better go check that out.” He rolled his eyes. “Who knows what happened. I’m sorry, Astrid, Josh – I think we all need some time to take this in. Or is there anything else you would like to discuss at the moment?”



I hesitated, because there was still so much on my mind, but his face, and his wife’s, was so weary-looking and bewildered that I couldn’t bring myself to ask anything. Shaking my head, I came to my feet as well, Josh copying this as Dan opened the study door for his wife. Angie beckoned us into the hall, shutting the door and saying, “Can I interest you in some pizza? If the kids haven’t eaten it all, that is. I’m sure you’re starved…”



She continued talking as she led the way into the kitchen. Pushing open the revolving door, we stepped inside to see the destruction path of a tornado. A small, chubby boy was sitting on the ground, tomato sauce smeared over the lower half of his face while he banged cheerfully on an upside-down pot. The teenaged girl from before was talking animatedly on her phone while scrubbing at a dish and yelling at another, smaller girl who was crying to “shut up now, I’m trying to talk” at the same time. The St. Bernard was barking enthusiastically, his tail thumping against the floor.



Joel whipped his feet off the table as his uncle opened his mouth to tell him off, leaped up from the chair he was seated on, grabbed himself a slice of pizza from an open box on the counter, and disappeared into the adjoining room, sinking down onto the couch and fixing his eyes on the TV. Sighing, Angie moved in, taking the wooden-spoon-and-pot drum set away from the four-year-old, which settled the din a minute bit. Dan McCormick walked into the living room, switching off the TV to a chorus of protests.



“All right, everyone settle down!” His deep voice carried across the fracas, and there was instant silence as Courtney ended her call, the younger girl subsided to sniffles, and the four-year-old ceased pounding his fists against the floor. Courtney grabbed the huge dog’s collar, patting him on the head until he shut up as well, only his tongue hanging out as he panted wetly.



“Joel,” said Dan in a forcibly patient voice, “please come into the kitchen.”



Josh and I stood awkwardly as Joel slunk into the room, one hand clutching a half-eaten slice of pizza and the other ruffling his hair so that it stuck up wildly. Dan gave him a look of barely disguised despair, and then turned to look at his youngest daughter, who was pulling on his sleeve with a call of “Daddy, Daddy.”



“Yes?”



She looked at him with huge brown eyes. “Courtney says I can’t play Angry Birds on her phone.”



Dan raised his eyes to the ceiling. “Girls, I said if you were going to fight over the phone, I would take it away.”



Courtney immediately began to protest. “I told her to wait until I finished the call! It was important – I have a biology test on Monday, and I needed to know one of the answers to the study guide, and Kate is the only one who would know–”



“She was talking to Mike,” interrupted Joel, smirking. “Her voice went so high; you should’ve heard her–”



“It did not–” Courtney went into another tirade as he sunk into the chair at the small kitchen table again, sticking the pizza back into his mouth. The younger girl started wailing about Angry Birds again, and Dan put his fingers in his mouth and whistled – ear-piercingly. Seven pairs of hands shot up to their ears, excepting the four-year-old, who resumed his noise-making.



“That is enough!” bellowed Dan, glowering around the room. “This is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, for crying out loud. Courtney – your phone. No, I don’t care about your biology, you can ask Kate tomorrow. Beth,” this to the younger girl, “you can wait your turn for the phone, all right? Joel…” He looked over at his nephew, who had his feet up again as he tapped out the rhythm to some song on the tabletop.



Big blue eyes glanced at him, full of innocence. “Yeah?”



Dan looked as though he was going to explode; Angie stepped in, shooting us an apologetic glance. “Joel, please get your feet off the table. Yes, I know you forgot, now please sit nicely, thank you. Courtney, I’m sure your test will be fine – if you could just finish those dishes before you go upstairs, that would be fantastic. Beth, please go get your pj’s on and then you can watch some TV, okay? No, Joel, I don’t care if the Pistons are playing; it’s her turn to watch. Dan – could you please take Luke upstairs for a bath? He’s a mess. Thank you, dear.”



I felt my mouth falling open as I watched her smoothly take control. Courtney, still grumbling and shooting Joel death looks, turned the faucet on again and began squirting soap into the sink. Beth flew out of the kitchen, her footsteps resounding on the stairs above us a moment later, and Dan, kissing his wife on the cheek, scooped up the four-year-old and disappeared as well, leaving the kitchen quiet. The dog loped into the living room, lying down on the floor.



Joel kept chewing his pizza, sliding an earphone out of his pocket and tuning in, staring at the opposite wall as his finger went on tapping. “Joel,” his aunt said in a long-suffering voice, and his head whipped around in her direction as if she had jabbed him with a red-hot poker. I found myself wanting to laugh as his face went back to normal.



“Yeah, Aunt Angie?”



She raised an eyebrow at this reaction. “Did you take your medication?”



He made a face. “I hate swallowing pills. Why don’t they have the bubble-gum flavored stuff like ibuprofen or something?”



“That stuff’s way nastier than pills,” cut in his cousin from the sink. “What’s the matter with your taste buds, Joel?”



Sticking out his tongue, he got up from the table with a groan as Angie looked at him expectantly. “All right,” he muttered. “I’ll go take them. Did you leave them on my bedside table?”



“Always do,” replied his aunt in her ever-tolerant tone, and he sauntered off. She looked over at Josh and me, shaking her head. “Sorry, we’re not usually this crazy. I don’t know what’s gotten into them. And when Joel doesn’t take his medication…”



“Hoo-boy,” said Courtney from the sink with a knowledgeable look. “It’s pretty bad. He’s practically bouncing off the walls.”



“Yes, thank you, Courtney.” Angie gestured rather weakly towards the kitchen table. “Please, sit down and help yourselves. I think I hear Joel coming down the stairs now – if you’ll excuse me for a moment, I’ll go check on the others and you two can talk with him a moment.” She disappeared through the door, and immediately Courtney darted away from the sink, positioning herself next to the door.



“Watch this,” she hissed, as the sound of Joel’s footsteps came closer. “It’s so great when he doesn’t take his meds.”



I raised an eyebrow as the door began to swing open, Joel stepping in with an annoyed look on his face. “I don’t know why–” he began in a complaining tone, and then Courtney jumped out from behind the door, screaming his name. He leaped about a foot off the ground, colliding with the table and falling to the ground. His cousin cracked up, leaning against the wall for support as he shook his head dazedly, coming to his feet shakily as he clutched at his chest.



He glared at Courtney. “Why the hell do you do this to me?”



“Language, Joel,” she teased, dashing back to the sink as he advanced towards her. “Don’t hurt me! I’ll tell Mom!”



Joel rolled his eyes, slouched to the table, and sat down across from me, tipping a large wink in my direction. “You’re looking down, beautiful. Why the long face?”



My shock must have reflected on my face, because his flirtatious look turned bemused as I stared at him. Jay’s voice was echoing in my ears, except it was Joel’s – the way he had said “beautiful” like that…I gulped as inconspicuously as I could, arranging a smile on my face.



“It’s been a long day.”



“Cheers,” he nodded, beckoning to his cousin with one hand. “Maid, bring me a Coke from the fridge.”



Courtney stuck out her tongue. “Get your own.”



“The things I have to do around here!” Joel clambered to his feet, opening the fridge door and glancing back at us. “Cokes?” And as Josh and I nodded, he pulled two cans out of the fridge and flipped them over his shoulder. I caught both reflexively, tossing the second to Josh, who popped it open with a grin at Courtney and Joel’s amazed faces.



“Hey, do you play softball?” asked Joel, opening his own can and drinking deeply. “That was a wicked catch.”



I shrugged, taking a sip as well. “Just…lucky, I suppose.” Still, some part of me felt guilty at the lie; I knew I would eventually have to tell him. But tonight? I wasn’t sure if that was a good idea. I needed to talk to Josh, in private.



“So,” I said to Joel, forcing myself to sound casual. “How old are you again?”



“Fifteen in June,” he replied, tipping his can back.



“So…fourteen?” Josh raised an amused eyebrow. “Sounds cooler to say ‘fifteen in June,’ huh?”



Joel shrugged. “I guess. I’m a freshman.”



“Little frosh,” said Courtney scornfully, and he crossed his eyes at her.



“You guys sticking around?” he asked, looking over at Josh and I. “There’s a big game tomorrow, and I’m playing point guard. You guys should seriously come – we’re going against Rivers, and they’re our biggest rival. Best game of the year.” He nodded emphatically, and I couldn’t help smiling again.



“They don’t care about your stupid basketball game,” said Courtney in an overly-patient voice, wiping a dish. “And they probably don’t want to watch it, either. You always play point guard, anyway; it’s not a big deal.”



He looked so offended – he clearly took basketball as seriously as Angie had said he did – that I had to say quickly, “I don’t know if we’ll be able to, Joel, but if we can, I would love to go.” Josh threw me a look of protest, but the beam that spread across Joel’s face more than made up for it.



“It’s really important,” he enthused. “And their point guard – Sam Matthews – he’s, like, six foot. It’s gonna be super intense, since I haven’t hit my growth spurt yet and stuff…” He looked a little put out. “Do you think I’ll get that tall? I need to get into college on a basketball scholarship, so I better grow soon, but, I dunno, I haven’t started yet and it’s already freshman year and I’m a little worried…” Running out of steam, he raised the can to his lips again to drink.



“Joel!” came a loud voice from the door.



Joel choked on his Coke, sputtering the dark liquid all down his front. Gasping for air, he looked up into the frustrated expression of his uncle, who had evidently returned from bathing the little boy. “What have I told you about drinking caffeine at night?” he said in exasperation. “I don’t need you bouncing off the walls at three o’clock in the morning, thank you.”



I found myself laughing before I could help myself and then met with several half-amused, half-affronted looks as I tried to hold it back. “Sorry,” I said, covering my mouth. Josh rolled his eyes at me, kicking me underneath the table and taking the Coke can away from Joel in the same move.



“Listen to your elders, kid,” he said, and again, I raised an eyebrow at this paternal move.



“Thank you, Josh.” Dan looked tired. “I’m sorry about all this mess; it’s been a long day. Is it okay with you if I have a drink?” As we nodded, he pulled a can of beer out of the fridge, popping it open and sitting down at the table next to Joel while waving a hand at his daughter. “I think I deserve this, Courtney, don’t give me that look.” He glanced at the grumpy-looking Joel and then over at Josh and I. “Is there anything else you want to – um – ask us?”



“You’re wearing Jay’s jacket, aren’t you?” said Joel out of the blue, his eyes staring at some point to my right and his voice vague.



A deathly silence fell over the kitchen, broken only by the trickle of the faucet from the sink. Dan’s face had frozen, his hand stuck in the motion of running it through his hair, and Josh’s eyes were huge as he glanced over at me. Joel didn’t look overly concerned, still concentrating on the same spot, and I stared at him as I felt my heart beat more rapidly and my face flush.



“Yeah,” I whispered after a long moment. “Yeah, I am.”



Joel lifted one shoulder in a shrug, looking at me now with surprisingly serious blue eyes. “Do you know?”



I didn’t need to ask what. Swallowing hard, I managed a weak “yes,” feeling another sickening lurch in my stomach at the lie. Why couldn’t I tell him the truth? He deserved to know, and yet I couldn’t help but hold it back.



He nodded slowly. “Okay. Just checking.” Absently, he reached for his uncle’s beer, raising it to his lips without taking his eyes away from mine. This jolted Dan out of his shock; with a not-so-polite exclamation, he grabbed the can away from his nephew, setting it firmly down on the opposite side of the table.



Joel looked it as if seeing it for the first time. “Oh. Sorry. I thought that was Coke.”



Josh was still looking at me, and I realized that I was clutching the sides of Jay’s jacket with both hands. A little defensively, I released them, coughing into my hand and looking away from him. Dan was sipping his beer again, giving me an appraising look that I didn’t really appreciate. Glancing at Joel, I came to a swift decision, standing and tugging on Josh’s sleeve.



“Excuse us a moment. We need to talk.”



Dan didn’t look surprised, merely nodding as Josh got up with a wary expression and followed me into the hall. “That was rude,” he admonished, stepping into the father-figure shoes again. “What’s the matter with you? Joel brings up Jay and you freak out.”



“It’s not about him,” I hissed, rubbing my temples wearily. “Will you stop saying that, please? It’s just – I think we should tell Joel the truth.”



Josh frowned. “You’re saying that after that whole scene with Angie and Dan, you want to tell Joel that Jay’s alive? That’ll kill him.”



I hesitated. “No…not about Jay. About Delta.”



His eyes widened. “Excuse me?”



“Josh, think about it! He deserves to know. His brother has been in it since Joel was, like, five, and we’ve been in it for six years and he hasn’t known. He thinks his brother died in some gas accident. No,” catching his look, “we don’t have to tell him that the same agency we’re part of is responsible for it, but…” I shrugged.



He was vacillating, I could see, his eyes moving away from my face as he mulled over what I was saying. Running a hand through his hair, he said finally, “Whatever. I guess it’s up to you, anyway. The Nicholsons always are.” He smiled wryly as I opened my mouth to apologize or protest, forestalling both. “Don’t worry. I know what’s out of my field.”



I ducked my head, hiding the smile that tried to come over my face, and Josh sighed, clapping me on the shoulder. “All right, dude, lead the way. Time to face the battle like a man, huh?”



Sometimes I really thought Josh forgot I was a female. Not for the first time, I wished Charlie were there. Shaking my head, I reentered the kitchen, looking at Joel and his uncle and taking a deep breath. Dan had a wary expression on his face, as if he guessed what I was going to say before I even did. Sure enough, as I casually asked if we could talk to Joel for a moment, he gave me a worried look, to which I nodded reassuringly.



“Sure,” said Dan at last, a little nervously. “Just don’t take too long – it’s almost ten, and he has that big game tomorrow.”



“Whoo!” Joel sprang up from his seat with a huge grin. “Gotta get pumped!”



“Got to have sleep,” his uncle corrected. “And carbs. Not caffeine and alcohol, little man.” He ruffled his nephew’s hair fondly. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re going through; I was a basketball champ myself.”



Joel rolled his eyes, ducking out from under his arm, and looking at Josh and me expectantly. “Do you guys want to sit on the back steps or in the study or what?”



I shrugged, glancing over at Josh. “Um…doesn’t matter to me. But it’s a bit chilly out, you know. So maybe the study?”



“Great!” He led us out of the kitchen, down the hallway until we reached the study, at which he held open the door for us before bounding ahead to settle down in the most comfortable-looking armchair. Sticking his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants, he focused bright blue eyes on my face as I sat a little more sedately across from him, Josh at my side.



“What’s the story with the guy in the alley?” asked Josh right off the bat, and Joel pulled a face.



“I told you. I owed him some money and I didn’t realize that I shouldn’t have messed with him. Not a big deal.”



“Okay, whatever,” I interjected, seeing Josh’s frown. “That’s not the main topic of interest right now. So…” I ran my hand along the armrest of my chair, biting my lip as I tried to think of a way to start the conversation. Joel’s eyes were a little disconcerting as they fixed on me. “Um…so, did you ever wonder where,” I didn’t want to bring Jay’s name up, “where Josh and I went all those years ago?”



Josh inhaled sharply next to me, and those blue eyes flickered to him for a brief moment as Joel frowned. “I dunno – boarding school?”



I closed my eyes for a moment. This was it. I didn’t know if I could do it. “Joel,” I said, my voice sounding scratchy. “There’s really something we need to tell you.”



He looked at me strangely. “Yeah?”



Josh now gave me an almost panicked look, begging me not to go on, but I plowed through relentlessly. “Joel, when Josh and I left Michigan to go to ‘boarding school’…we didn’t go to it. We went to this agency in New Jersey called Delta. You probably won’t believe this, but – it’s an espionage agency.”



My best friend actually snorted. “Astrid, that’s gotta be the worst explanation I’ve heard in my entire life.”



Joel cocked a very familiar eyebrow. “Bro, I thought you were serious there a moment.”



I sighed. “I am serious. Josh is being an idiot.” And as he gave me a cutting glance, “You explain then.”



He leaned forward to look Joel in the eye. “She isn’t kiddng, if that’s what you’re thinking. We are part of an espionage agency, but a thousand to one you haven’t heard of it. It’s called Delta. Most people think of it as CIA, and we prefer to be known as such. It’s a bit hard to take in,” he ended lamely as Joel’s face grew more skeptical.



“Right. So you guys are, like, James Bond or someone?”



I shrugged. “Or Jane Bond.”



No one laughed.



Josh ran a hand through his hair. “Astrid, what were you thinking? No fourteen-year-old kid is going to believe that we’re in a spy–”



Without even thinking about it, I stuck my hand into the inside pocket of Jay’s flying jacket and pulled out my gun, laying it on the table without a word. Joel’s eyes bugged out as he almost fell out of his chair and Josh said something rude quite loudly, giving me a shocked look.



“How many teens do you know that carry that around?” I kept my voice blunt, using my best badass training voice that was supposed to be saved for interrogations or the like. “Or this?” With one hand, I flipped my secret wallet out of the hidden pocket of the jacket, spilling its contents across the tabletop: foreign bills, several fake IDs, driver’s licenses that stated I was eighteen or older, code breakers, and more items that most likely hadn’t shown up in his latest watching of Mission Impossible.



Joel’s eyes were huge and he had one hand over his mouth as he leaned forward to carefully look at all of them, as if they might explode. I was debating on whether or not I should pull out my skeleton keys for added effect when Josh abruptly plucked my gun off the table and handed it back to me with a stern look.



“Stop it. And the voice. You’re freaking him out.”



“I’m not freaked out.” Joel’s voice was higher than usual. “This is – awesome!”



“Not really.” I lessened the iciness in my voice by a few notches. “Don’t touch anything; you could get arrested and jailed for life for some of these things.” He jerked his hand back rapidly; Josh gave me a reproachful look. Shrugging, I scooped my things up, shoving them back into my jacket. Joel eyed the place they disappeared for a moment.



“Okay.” He still sounded skeptical. “So…you’re spies. Why you?”



I exhaled deeply, glancing over at Josh. This was going to be tough. “Joel…I don’t know if you realize this…but when I say Josh and me, I’m including Jay in the picture. He is – was – a spy as well.” Joel’s face froze, his body rigid in his seat. Josh looked like he wanted to run out of the room, but I knew the kid needed to know. “I’m sorry. That’s what killed him. I know we should have told you so much earlier – but your parents didn’t want you to know, so…”



His mouth moved briefly but couldn’t articulate. Pain flooded my chest as I watched the shock spiraling in his eyes. Why was I doing this? And yet I couldn’t stop, pressing more information on him. “Your parents were CIA agents themselves, before they settled down and got married. You come from a long line of spies, Joel, like Josh and I. You’ve probably…” But I stopped as his face steadily grew whiter. “Oh crap – are you okay?”



Josh and I both half-rose from our chairs, but he shook his head shakily. “I’m okay,” he whispered, his eyes huge. “I’m okay. I’m okay.” I took pity on him and kept quiet while he took a few deep, shuddering breaths of air before asking in a hoarse voice, “So…all this time…you guys have been spies…and no one bothered to tell me?”



“Like Astrid said, your parents thought you’d be happier without knowing.” Josh looked unhappy. “I’m sorry, kid. I didn’t think…”



Joel shook his head, looking dazed. “And Jay – was killed by it?”



I hesitated. This was where it could get messy. “Indirectly,” I managed at last, and though he looked at me, I couldn’t say any more. A mixture of his huge eyes and my own twisting guilt froze the words in my mouth.



“So…when the house was,” he swallowed, “was bombed…that was some terrorist group or something? Someone Jay was after and so they were targeting him?”



Blowing out heavily, I glanced sideways at Josh, who shrugged. I had gotten myself tangled up in this lie and it was my job to get out of it. “Not…really.”



“Then who?” Joel’s eyes were burning feverishly, his hands clenched. “Who killed them?”



“Delta.” Josh cut in, his voice curt. “Our agency killed them. Jay had gotten mixed up in something he shouldn’t have,” he glanced at me, “and they don’t like when people do that. So they bombed the house.”



“They bombed the house,” Joel repeated, his face white, and Josh nodded. I reached forward, to grab his hand or something, I wasn’t sure, but he jerked away, taking deep breaths. “And you stayed with them?”



Ouch. “I didn’t even know until a few months ago,” I replied, a little defensiveness creeping into my voice though I knew it was an honest question. “Josh didn’t know until I told him today.” I glanced apologetically at him; he shrugged. “We’ve become rather…fed up…with Delta as it is. I don’t know what we’re going to do from here. Now that you’ve turned up…”



Joel frowned. “You didn’t know I was alive?”



I shook my head. “I didn’t know anything.”



He looked uncertainly at my jacket, opening his mouth and then closing it again. I waited until he found words. “So you’re really…spies? This isn’t some big joke?” The pleading look in his eyes made me wish I could say otherwise, but I was forced to nod. He nodded slowly, sinking back into the chair and running his hand over his hair and face with a flabbergasted face.



“You okay, kid?” Josh’s voice was gentle.



Joel nodded, eyes wide. “Yeah…yeah. I mean, after everything that’s happened…I suppose this makes sense. After all,” a grin split his face as he glanced over at me, “spies are sexy, right?”



“Oh gosh,” I muttered, covering my face with my hands as Josh laughed. Secretly I was pleased at how well he had taken it, as I had thought we might have traumatized him for life, but it made my heart hurt at how much he resembled Jay in his actions and looks. How could I tell him the truth? It was too much of a mess now.



A knock came from the door, and Dan McCormick stuck his head into the room, his face anxious as he looked over at his nephew. “Everything okay in here?”



Joel’s head shot towards him immediately. “No! Why didn’t you ever tell me?”



Dan looked uncomfortable. “Well…we decided it would be best.” He eyed Joel warily, as if wondering how he would react and whether he was traumatized for life by this experience. However, he merely made a face, grumbling about how people never told him anything, and kicked at the leg of the desk. His uncle looked relieved, smiling even as he told Joel to watch the furniture, please.



As Joel removed his foot from the desk, Dan looked over at the two of us. “I’m sorry for all of this. Thank you for being the one to tell him – I wasn’t sure if I could.”



“No problem,” I answered, a little weakly and Josh snorted quietly.



“How about that game tomorrow, then?” asked Joel, springing up from his chair excitedly. “You guys can stay the night here – sleep in the basement or something, I dunno – and then come to my game tomorrow! Please?”



I smiled. “I would love to…but I think it’s up to your uncle. Mr. McCormick?”



“Please, call me Dan.” He glanced at his eager nephew and grinned. “Of course, we would love to have you. If you two don’t mind sleeping in the basement, I mean. It’s a bit crowded upstairs.”



“Yeah, that’s fine,” Josh assured him, coming to his feet. “And then we can get this basketball game out of the way, huh?”



“Hey!” Joel protested. “It’s a big deal!”



“Of course it is.” Josh grinned at him. “But it had better be worth waking up on a Saturday morning to go.”



“It will be!” Joel looked thrilled. “I promise!”