Groaning I sat up and went to hold my head but one of my wrists was chained to a pipe. Frantically I looked around to find any sign of what the hell was going on. I was in a dark, dank, concrete cell with grime covered bars a few feet in front of me.

A steady dripping sound reverberated through my mind as I clutched my head with my one free hand. The murmur of voices could be heard.

As I was drifting back off, cold water drenched my body, shocking me awake. I spluttered as the sound of jangling keys rung through my ears and the door was pulled open. Multiple men walked into my cell, unchaining my handcuffs and dragging me roughly behind them. I had no idea where I was or what was going on as I stumbled over my own feet. All my training had seemed to have evaded me as they pulled me into a room and chained my up by my wrists, pulling it tight and forcing me to stand on my tip toes for fear of the joints in my shoulders dislocating.

In broken English they questioned me and when I refused to answer, introduced me to a few… persuasive techniques that they’d mastered. I was deprived of sleep, beaten, electrocuted and choked. The sleep deprivation kept me on edge and amplified the pain my body felt. They kept me constantly guessing by holding mock executions every few days; making me dig my own grave, ‘shooting’ me with unloaded guns, shooting near me and shooting at me with blank cartridges. The pain I experienced was far outweighed by the fear and confusion I felt. In this instance my mind was against me.

I don’t know how long I’d been down there until I snapped. They fed me once every two days and I’d ‘accidently’ lost the one cup they gave me. It had been hard but I’d managed to pull the handle off it and sharpen it into something that resembled a weapon by grinding it against the ground.

When the time came for more pain, I stabbed the first man in the eye and the second in the throat. I was weak and my body was battered and broken but it was kill or be killed. I took the rifle strapped to his back and limped out of the cell.

I shot anyone I encountered; I didn’t care if they were al-Qaeda… they were in my way, therefore, they died. My thought process was that if they were here, they were against me or they were suffering; so I killed them all.

I set the house on fire and limped to an outbuilding where I proceeded to collapse.

A farmer had found me and stitched me up to the best of his abilities. He’d given me food, water and shelter and for that I was eternally grateful. My shoulder and many of my other injuries had become infected in my time with the al-Qaeda rebels. The only comfort I had was knowing that they were all dead… by my hand.

I knew that I had to get back to Britain as they would’ve proclaimed me missing in action and sent a notice to my family of my death; because that’s what they would assume I was.

I stayed with the farmer for three months, healing and helping him and his family with small chores around the house. Physically I was healing from the month I spent down in that hell hole; I had thin, long scars on my back and stomach from the cane whip they’d used on me, burn marks, the gunshot wound on my shoulder and jagged scars on my wrists from the chains they’d kept me in.

But the emotional and mental scars ran deeper. I dreaded falling asleep as night terrors haunted me and I began to develop insomnia.

Through the duration of my stay, my afgani vocabulary had greatly improved and I was easily able to converse with the family I stayed with in their native tongue instead of broken English.

When it had been time for me to leave I said my fair wells and headed towards the nearest military base. I was put on the quickest flight back to Britain and before I knew it, I was being debriefed and asked to give my recount of the events from the past six months.

Afterwards, I was forced to undergo a Psychological evaluation to determine my mental and emotional wellbeing as well as a physical evaluation which was gruelling due to my deteriorated condition.

I soon found out that I would be honourably discharged so I fought tooth and nail to keep my career; I would not let it slip through my fingers. I’d worked so hard, been through so much; it was my life. I stepped up training and pushed down everything else until my next evaluations.

I passed, just barely though and it was advised that I take my accumulated leave and use it to recover. So I did; they wouldn’t have accepted anything less. Over the past seven years I’d accumulated just under a year’s leave and I was going to take advantage of it.

My team would be on leave now so I caught a train to where Jackson lived as he was the closest. When I knocked on his door I waited for what felt like hours until he answered the door shirtless.

“Look buddy I’m not-,” His eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his skull and his mouth fell open as he realised who stood at his door. “Eve?”

“In the flesh.” There was no time to react as he scooped me up and spun me around in his arms.

“My god Eve!” I felt something cold drip onto my shoulder and I realised that he was crying. “We all thought you were dead!” He hugged me tighter and slowly I wrapped my arms around his back. Jackson and I hadn’t been as close as Griff and I but we’d been friends for three years now. Even though I held rank over them, I was like their little sister.

“I’m right here though.” I assured him, pulling away from the big man. His hair had grown and now sat in a messy blonde mop atop his head. His baby blues sparkled with happy tears and joy as he pulled me into his flat. It was a standard bachelor pad with hard wood flooring, black leather couches and a big flat screen TV. I dumped my duffle by the front door and followed him to the kitchen. It had sleek ad modern with marble countertops and fancy appliances.

“Do the other’s know you’re back? Alive?” He asked, going to his fridge and pulling out a beer.

“No; at least I don’t think so. I only got back three weeks ago and was too busy to contact anyone.” He handed me a beer and I took a long swig. “

“Griff’s torn up Eve; Gunner lives with him right now and has to force him to eat, drink and shower. I saw him two months ago and I’ve never seen a man so heartbroken.”

I knew that it was because of me. It really got me thinking; what would’ve happened if I had died? We sat in silence before Jackson pulled out his mobile and began dialling numbers. I took a seat on his couch and took another swig of the crisp brew. He walked away and began talking in hushed whispers.

I rested my head on the back of his couch with a sigh. A few minutes later I heard his footsteps approaching. “The team’s coming over for beer, pizza and games; I didn’t tell them they you’re here, I figured that you’d want to surprise them. Gunner’s promised to drag Griff along no matter what; they know something’s up though.”

I gave a smile at the thought of seeing the team again. “You’re going to need a lot of pizza.” There were sixteen men to a unit and four within a team. I’d lead a unit and we were all tight knit so I knew that there would be a lot of guys which means a lot of pizza.

“Let’s go then.” He grabbed his keys and we headed out the door.

-

In the end I ended up helping him carry ten packs of beers and sixteen pizzas through the door. “What time is everyone meant to get here?” I asked.

He shrugged and stacked the beers in his fridge. “Around six or seven.”

“Well I’m having a shower then and a nap.” Naps were the only time I got any sleep; I could sleep through the night and to be honest I didn’t want to. Night terrors came in the deepest stages of sleep

“Did you bring pyjamas?”

“Na, I got day wear; I’ll just sleep in my jeans.” I said with a shrug.

“You can borrow a shirt of mine if you want and boxers if you’re desperate.” It sounded way more comfortable so I took him up on his offer. Jackson handed me a pile of clothes and a towel before showing me to the bathroom. It matched the kitchen and was very impersonal but stylish.

I stripped out my clothes quickly, avoiding the mirror and jumped into the hot spray. My body was still sore and I tenderly rubbed Jack’s body wash over my limbs. The hot water felt amazing as it pelted against my body and it was relaxing. My limbs soon became heavy and I had trouble keeping my eyes open so I shut off the water and got dried and dressed in his clothes.

My head hit the pillow and I was out like a light.