"It's not fair! Why do you have to show up just in time to see the entire building under attack by an illegal organisation, with me standing in the dead centre of it all with a smoking gun in my hand?!" I screeched.

"Maddison...."

Frustrated beyond belief, I threw my weapon at the flustered Supervisor, watching as it fell far short of the approaching man.

No matter, I still had plenty of ammo.

"Why is it that you are never around when I actually do something good?!" I flung an arm out in exasperation. "Like that other night, I ate everything on my plate without complaint, even that icky green thing that tasted like fish!"

Proudest moment of my life.

"...I appreciate the effort you're putting into your rehabilitation Maddison, but..." My Supervisor raised his hands imploringly as I continued to bombard him.

"At this rate, I'm never going to get back to normal, and it's all. Your. Fault!"

"....yes, I understand your distress... But could you maybe please stop throwing paperclips at me for a moment...?"

My only reply was to hurl another bright pink paper clip, gritting my teeth in pure frustration as he stopped just outside of my missile's range.

Coward.

"Listen to Maddison." My Supervisor sighed, keeping his blue-green eyes solemnly on me. "I'm really am just here to find out what's going on, and to help out if I can. Of course, I will likely have to write a report on what I witness, but so will every Supervisor here..."

At this, I sent a brief glance around the room, looking at every face and recalling all the bad decisions I had made and all the foul language I had used.

"So what you're saying is...that I was already screwed, regardless of whether or not you showed up."

At once, all the supervisors looked away, guiltily avoiding eye contact.

"Therefore, it is unreasonable to hold me responsible...." My Supervisor begun, taking that last step forward.

"Is that supposed to be reassuring!?" I screamed, throwing the paperclip with all my might, watching with Triumph as it thunked harmlessly off his chest.

But the torture had only just begun.

"Nigel!" I commanded, spinning dramatically to face my lowly minion. "Bring forth, the Eraser of Worlds."

Just as Nigel lifted the eraser ceremoniously over his head to present it to his master, a giant hand intervened between us.

"As much as this is to watch, now probably isn't the time. So let's just put the stationary away..." Peri smiled down at me nervously, watching carefully to make sure I didn't attack his hand like I obviously wanted to.

"Now that Ollie is here to provide another set of hands, we can..."

"Ollie?" I interrupted, frowning in confusion.

He blinked at me equally confused.

"Oliver Green..."

At my obvious lack of understanding, Peri pointed silently over to my Supervisor.

Who waved.

"Your name is Oliver Green?" I stared at him, disbelief obvious on my face. When all he did was give me an awkward smile and nod, I shook my head, utterly disturbed.

"Were your parents participating in some sort of drug trial when they named you? Or did they just see a jar of olives sitting on the table and think to themselves, Hey our surname is Green, how about we get really creative and name our kid Oliver?" I met his wincing gaze, eyes mercilessly cold as I delivered the final, ultimate blow. "Your name is stupid. And I say this, standing next to a guy called Artemis."

The room fell into an awkward silence, only broken when Havoc whispered "Harsh." under his breath, earning himself an elbow in the ribs from Garmen.

Mr Oliver Green himself looked like he was seriously contemplating turning around and pretending that everything was fine with the world so that he could go home and not deal with whatever crisis was going on at his workplace/ me.

"...As I was trying to say..." Peri coughed, obviously trying to hide his amusement. "Now that... Mr Green is here, we can start making our escape."

"Don't I get some sort of explanation about what's going on?" My Supervisor asked, glancing between all of us expectantly.

I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Well, it all begun when I got a letter from Hogwarts, asking me to cast the Ring into Mount Doom. Which was all fine and dandy, until I realised that damn volcano was on Pandora and that I would need to catch a lift with my buddy Han Solo to get there. The only problem was that I was stuck in the matrix, and I couldn't figure out if I needed to cut the red wire or the blue to get out. In the end, I just cut them both, and that actually turned out pretty well for me. That's when Leonardo turned up and told me that the world I had escaped into wasn't actually real at all, but was, in fact, a dream. A dream inside a dream, inside another dream, which is inside this whale..."

A giant finger pressed down on the top of my head, effectively shutting me up before we all died from spontaneous brain tumours caused by excessive plagiarism.

"How about I just explain it later," Peri suggested, his smile barely hiding the strain in his voice. On the other side of the room, Winkle looked about ready to beat his head against the wall.

Good. At least I get to do some of the tormentings around here.

"Please." Mr Green murmured gratefully, keeping an eye on me to make sure he could run away if I showed any sign of opening my mouth again.

"We'll split up into pairs," Peri announced cheerfully, hands on hips. "Ollie can take Garmen since Havoc isn't tall enough to support Garmen's weight..."

"Did he just call me short and your fat in the single sentence?"

"I believe so."

"I'm not short! I'm four point six millimetres taller than Reece! I'm..."

"Oliver has a car, so he will be able to transport Garmen to safety, so shut up." Winkle snapped angrily. Crossing his arms, he pointed down at Jack, who still sat patiently beside him.

"I'll stay here with the brat. Make sure he doesn't come after you or cause any more damage."

How reassuring. Now I know for sure he'll escape before we get out the door...

"Who is he?" My Supervisor asked, sending Jack a curious look.

"Apparently his name is Jack, and he is somehow involved in all this Underground/ King Of The Hill crap," Winkle muttered dismissively. "All I know for sure is that he has broken into our organisation and has been a complete pain in the arse since he got here."

Mr Green opened his mouth to ask something else but was interrupted when Peri stepped forward enthusiastically.

"Right, and Havoc, Reece and I will take one of the kids each and head off in different directions." Peri continued cheerfully.

"...who will take who?" Havoc asked cautiously.

The three supervisors met each other's gazes for an intense moment.

"Scissor, Paper, Rock!"

Peri stepped back, clutching his hair in apparent agony. "How could this happen to me twice?! Against all statistical odds!"

"Too bad Peri." Havoc grinned, not sounding the least bit remorseful. "Guess you get to take care of Maddison. So, who do you want to take, Reece?"

"I better take Mr Flemming. With his condition, he needs to be in... Safe hands..."

"Fine with me. I've already dodged the bullet here anyway."

I twitched, glowering at the three as Peri sulked, Havoc celebrated, and Reece looked a little bit too relieved.

"Would you guys mind explaining to me why the hell I am the short straw here?!"