You're going to be late Maddison."

With a startled blink, I looked up to find myself sitting on the Hill. The heat of the sun shone through the leaves of the tree I sat against, casting little pinpricks of light to invade the cool shade.

Feeling like I had just woken up, I searched around for the source of the voice, my eyes landing on a small animal standing beside me.

A white rabbit, dressed in a waistcoat, its arms crossed in impatient irritation. It stood up on its hind legs in a strangely human manner.

Meeting the bespectacled Rabbit's crimson gaze, I tilted my head in confusion.

"Late for what?" I asked dazedly, deciding not to dwell on the fact that I was talking to a rabbit.

...and that it was talking back.

The Rabbit raised a snowy eyebrow at the question. "The tea party."

I stiffened, suspicion hardening my eyes as I glared at the Rabbit.

"What tea party?"

The Rabbit tilted it's head, blinking innocently at me. Like the answer was obvious.

"The one I organised without telling you."

My eye twitched in irritation, and I found myself crossing my own arms defensively. "Well, if you had bothered to tell me that there was going to be a tea party, then I wouldn't be running late for it!"

Before I could even finish The Rabbit waved a dismissive paw.

"But you hate tea, Maddison. If I had told you about my tea party, you would have interfered and ruined everything."

"I might not have!" I protested. "If you had confided in me....told me how important tea was to you, we could have...."

"You wouldn't have listened to me, Maddison..." The Rabbit interrupted bluntly.

"You see, your brain is very small." He held his paws up to demonstrate. "So I had no choice but to show you the true greatness of tea... by stabbing you in the back and manipulating you into going to my secret tea party."

The Rabbit shrugged. "That's why I kept it hidden from you until it was too late."

I could only stare at the Rabbit in shock as it straightened its glasses, meeting my gaze seriously.

"Because you're stupid." It clarified.

I loaded the shotgun that was suddenly in my hands.

"Since I have no choice but to go to this thing, I guess that I better bring something to add to the table. I'm thinking......Rabbit cake."

The Rabbit bolted before I even had a chance to aim.

"Get back here so that I can kill you!" I screamed, jumping to my feet and running after the Rabbit.

For some reason, the Rabbit chose to ignore my request.

So I chased after the Rabbit, occasionally shooting at it.

Unfortunately, the Rabbit happened to live a double life as an evil mastermind and had prepared a trap.

Which should have been kinda obvious at this point.

I was starting to gain on the Rabbit when two hobbit-sized red heads appeared in front of me, blocking my way past.

Apart from their eyes, the little guys looked identical, the one on the right wearing a cheeky grin, and the one on the left, a sullen glare.

The cheerful one stepped forward, holding out a hand.

"Hi, I'm Tweedle Dee-ceiver, and this is my brother, Tweeddle Dumb ass. We're..."

I kicked Twiddle Dee-ceiver so hard the little munchkin flew up into the sky, turning into a sparkle of light in the distance.

Feeling incredibly satisfied for some unexplainable reason, I glared back down at the sour one, ready to send him after his brother.

Munchkin number two just shook his head with a sigh.

"The Rabbit was right about you, Maddison." He held up a remote. "You really are too stupid to see what is right in front of you."

He pushed a button.

"Or in this case, what is below you."

I looked down, just in time to see a big X mark before it turned into a hole.

Swearing sharply, I fell into the rabbit hole.

But for a brief moment, it didn't feel like falling at all.

It was pitch black, and my body wouldn't move. I could hear the engine of a car, muffled voices yelling at each other. My side hurt, and there was an arm gripping me around the shoulders. Too tight.

Then I was lying on a marble floor peering up at Mr Twinkle. Monica's giant kitten.

"Welcome Maddison Tramph." It greeted me in a deep majestic voice. "To the mystical land of BLAST." The last word echoed around the large, cathedral-like room.

Once the echoes stopped, the kitten cleared its throat sheepishly. "That's an acronym for Blood Loss And Severe Trauma by the way..."

".... I knew it..." I murmured softly "Mr Twinkle can talk...." I pat the kitten on its nose. "...That is the only logical explanation... All the times you tricked me..... made me pat you, then used my room as a litter box.... climbed up on the table and ate my cereal, and I was the one who got in trouble for hissing at you..."

"Well, what do you expect? It was you who convince Monica to name me 'Mr Twinkle' in the first place." Mr Twinkle explained bluntly. "I'd say that I have every right to screw with you for the rest of my life."

"All nine of them?"

The kitten nodded sullenly. "All nine of them."

"Damn.

As if hearing a noise, the cat sat up, turning its giant head to look up at the ceiling.

"Listen, kid, I have to go now. Monica says it's time for breakfast." He looked down at me seriously. "And it's probably time that you left too."

A strange fear tightened my chest. I couldn't quite grasp the reason why, but the idea of leaving filled me with panic.

"What if I don't want to go?" I demanded petulantly.

"That concussion you got earlier will make you fall into a coma, and you die."

"Oh... You really don't sugar coat anything, do you Twinkle?"

"Not for what they're paying me. Which is nothing by the way, since I'm only a figment of your blood starved and severely traumatised imagination."

I rolled my eyes.

"Yea, you'd like me to think that, wouldn't you Mr Twinkle? But it's too late. Now that I know your real identity, I will use that knowledge to hurt the people closest to you."

The kitten raised an eyebrow. "Who exactly is supposed to be the villain in this scenario?"

I felt my eyes close as a wave of tiredness came over me.

"I feel like I've been asking myself that question far too often recently," I confessed softly.

The kitten sighed.

"I really need to go now Maddison." The kitten made to move away from me. "And you need to wake up."

"Wait, Mr Twinkle." I grabbed his furry arm before he could go. "I just wanted you to know, that out of all the manipulative evil bastards in my life, you are by far my cutest adversary."

The kitten just snorted derisively. "You say that like I actually had competition."

The cat patted me on the head softly.

"Good luck Maddison. You're sure gonna a need it."