Chapter 11

Julia had never seen a military base before; well, not that she could remember anyway.

She had seen things in movies but Julia didn’t watch movies that often since the only cinema they had back home was as outdated as a public phone box and her mother refused to buy a flat screen.

Walking off the road and onto the pristine clean pavement, Julia watched the taxi charge away behind her.

The driver’s kind words echoing in her mind as she looked around at the base.

For a navy base it was far from any water as far as Julia could tell.

But what shocked Julia the most was that it looked like any regular suburban street.

Single storey buildings were erected in rows of streets with people walking about and cars driving down painted roads.

It looked slightly disturbing with everybody smiling and American flags attached to almost everything but the only thing that broke the mirage was what people were wearing.

Either they were in uniform or they were wearing sweats.

The only person out of place right then was Julia in her jeans and top looking around like a lost child.

And she was lost.

Julia had no idea where she was meant to be going and, for a split second, she didn’t know what she was doing here.

She had a comfortable life at home.

She had a good job, a loving family but most of all she wasn’t confused about who she was.

She knew who she was, Julia. But ever since Marcus had come back into her life Julia found herself doubting everything.

She doubted her family because if you’re family loved you then why would they want to keep her past a secret from her?

She wanted to hate Marcus for trying to make her remember.

But Julia was cut from her thoughts when she heard monotone shouting.

Lifting her head to see what was happening, Julia saw a group of men in formation running straight towards her.

Letting out a small yelp of surprise, Julia darted off of the pavement and onto the road before they trampled over her.

They looked organised and slightly scary as they jogged down the path, their feet falling in unison against the asphalt.

An older man, who lead the party, gave Julia a peculiar look before he went back to shouting at the men who were following him, looking like they were about to die from exhaustion.

That look of desperation on their faces alone was enough to make Julia want to turn around and run home. She may have run track at school but she never remembered it being that exhausting.

She had done it for fun, but these men definitely did not look like they were having fun.

* * *

As she was finally shown to her bed for the evening Julia wasn’t surprised when she came face to face with a bunk bed.

After all, Julia had seen a few military movies. Not that she claimed the movies got everything right but they did get the earth toned colours and thin mattresses correct.

“Supper is at nineteen-hundred hours,” A woman, who looked more like a secretary than part of the military, informed them. Her voice was filled with pity for them.

Julia turned away from her as she placed her bag on the bottom bunk; Julia had never done well with top bunks ever since she fell out of one when she was five years old.

Sensing someone behind her, Julia glanced over her shoulder to see the secretary woman stood there, looking at her.

“Yes?” Julia frowned as she straightened up; apparently her response didn’t sit well with the woman as she narrowed her eyes at Julia.

“Reynolds,” The woman barked out her name, losing all sympathy for her, “As you were the last to arrive, you have to share a bunk with Lieutenant Matthews,”

Julia turned her to look at her new bunk mate to find that it was a man; in his early thirties with olive skin, a smooth close-shaved head and . . . blind.

“Sorry,” Lieutenant Matthews smirked in her direction.

Julia tried to smile back when she realised that he wouldn’t be able to see her.

The secretary woman looked between the two of them before she turned to Julia, “You’ll get your uniform in the morning,”

Julia nodded her head whilst Matthews just stared into the distance, listening to her footsteps retreat and then the slam of the barracks door.

“Nice to meet you Reynolds,” Matthews walked forward slowly, his hands reaching out to steady his way, “Promise I won’t look at you whilst you’re changing,” Matthews joked.

Julia could only stare at him; she knew it was rude but it was so strange.

She always imagined blind people to wear sunglasses and have a stick . . . again, the media helped to invoke those generalisations in her brain.

But Matthews was different; his eyes were open and they were a startling blue colour. Julia knew that if he tried hard enough then Matthews could appear as if he wasn’t blind at all.

But they held that wayward look to them, as if he didn’t know where to look anymore and they had a life of their own.

“Sorry,” Matthews turned sombre, “Doctors said I should try and look on the bright side,”

Julia thought that telling him to ‘look’ on the bright side of anything was rather cruel but as his lips turned upward into a smile she knew he was joking.

Pure lightness seemed to radiate from his skin.

“I’m Ray,” Matthews held out his hand which she gladly took.

“Julia,” She smiled back, feeling better instantly now that she knew someone.

“What’s your rank?”

“Oh, um . . . I guess I was a Marine Sergeant,” Julia stuttered as she gazed down at the dog tags which were still hung around her neck.

“Mind if I take the bottom bunk? My climbing skills aren’t so good anymore,” Ray released her hand.

“Oh, no, sure!” Julia panicked as she rushed to grab her bag off the bed and through it up top when she turned and looked around the barracks.

Forty beds all filled up with wounded veterans looking for closure.

For some of them theirs wound were physical; a missing leg or an amputated arm. But for others it was mental.

Julia suddenly felt rather lucky to only have amnesia. She couldn’t have imagined adjusting to life with only one leg or one arm.

“So, what’s your disease?” Ray pulled her out of her thoughts.

“I’m- I’m sorry?” Julia had never heard it called ‘disease’ before.

“Your disease,” Ray chuckled, “I’m blind. Tobias over there,” Ray nodded to the east side of the barracks, “Got his legs blown off,”

Julia gazed at the wheelchair-bound man awkwardly.

“So, what’s yours?”

“Amnesia,” Julia spoke too fast, “Selective Retrograde Amnesia,”

“Selective Retrograde Amnesia?” Ray repeated slowly as he tried to let it sink in.

“I was in Afghanistan and caught in an IED explosion and ever since then . . . I can’t remember anything after enlisting,” Julia swallowed around the lump in her throat as she told him; it still felt weird to think that this thing had actually happened to her.

“Well, that sounds like heaven,” Ray laughed manically, “I would have loved to forget about that place! What are you even doing here? Why aren’t you holed up on a beach somewhere?”

Julia didn’t know what to say because as she gazed around the room she realised that, compared to everyone here, she had had it easy.

So what she might not remember a few things? Julia was willing to bet that most people wanted to forget a thing or two about their deployment.

And in that moment, Julia felt like an outcast.

She didn’t have a missing limb or missing sight. She had no physical wound to speak of; what right did she have to claim that she was just as injured as the rest of them?

Because she wasn’t; she was fit and healthy.

She just can’t remember.