Chapter 15



They were due to fly out that evening at 19.00 which meant Julia rang her parents at 18.00.

They had been given the day off to say their goodbyes with their loved ones.

But since Julia’s loved ones lived too far away to visit them in day, thankfully or else they would have dragged her back home by now, she had to settle for a phone call.

Secretly, Julia was pleased. She felt that if she went home now she would be taking a step back rather than a step forward in her recovery.

Plus, she wouldn’t put it past her mother to lock Julia in her room until she missed her departure.

Julia did love her family, she just didn’t like them very much at the moment.

The phone gave a few rings before the receiver was picked up and her father’s voice echoed down the line.

Julia hadn’t realised how much she had missed him until she could hear him once again.

“Hello? Hello?” Her father was growing annoyed when she didn’t respond immediately.

Thinking it a hoax caller, she heard her father mumble something and begin to lower the phone.

“Wait, dad!” Julia panicked, “It’s me. Julia. Dad?”

There was a moment of silence where Julia’s eyes searched the cream coloured wall in front of her as if it held all the answers in the known universe.

Then his perplexed voice returned, “Julia?”

“Hey dad,” Julia sighed inwardly, thankful that he hadn’t put the phone down. She didn’t know how she would explain suddenly ringing him from Afghanistan.

“Hey sweetie, what’s the matter?”

Julia’s eyebrows furrowed in the middle, did something have to be wrong for her to call her parents?

She thought about it for a second and came up with the sobering answer of yes.

“I just wanted to hear your voice,” Julia spoke quietly, she never talked like this and her father knew it.

“Julia, what’s wrong?” His voice grew heavy with concern and she could hear her mother pottering about in the kitchen in the background as she heard saucepans clash against the oven.

“Nothing’s wrong dad,” Julia tried to put him at ease, “I just wanted to call and say that I passed.”

“Passed?”

“They’re shipping me out to Afghanistan,” Julia clarified, a knot forming in her throat when there was no response.

“Dad. Dad?” Julia could see him, stood in their hallway with the phone hanging limply by his side, “Dad!”

“W- When?” He stuttered, her mother’s voice growing insistent in the background as she wanted to know who was on the phone, “We’ll come down and see you. I’ll get your brother to-”

“We’re leaving in . . .” Julia had to check her watch, “Fifty minutes.”

“Tonight?” Her father shouted in surprise, “But that’s- that’s-”

“-It’s okay dad,” Julia tried to comfort him, as her own resolve began to crumble.

What had she been thinking!? Of course she wanted to see her family before she left; she wanted to wrap her arms around her father and feel his strength seep into her bones.

She wanted to wish her brother well and make peace with her mother.

Because, although they were barely a real squad, they were still heading into a war zone, and Julia should have known what her parents must be thinking.

The last time she went out to Afghanistan she came back injured, surely they thought this time she would not be so lucky.

Julia wanted to kick herself for her rash decision.

“Dad,” Julia sighed when he began to start on a tirade, her mother and brother now joining in on the argument, “DAD!”

It was all Julia could to do to regain control of the conversation.

“Listen, I don’t have long before I have to leave and I don’t want to spend it arguing.”

“Of- Of course not sweetie,” Her father apologised, “Your brother has-”

“-Hey sis!” Rhys’s guttural voice suddenly blasted her ear, “You’re on loud speaker.”

She guessed that.

“So you’re deserting us again are you?” Rhys’s voice was filled with humour. He didn’t mean it in a bad way and Julia was thankful that she had at least one supporter, “What’s it for this time? Sun? Sand?”

Julia smiled and began to respond when her mother interjected, cutting her brother off with tears.

Her mother did not like her son’s joking behaviour towards what she saw as her daughter going off to die but he probably helped more than any kind word could.

“Julia?” Her mother wept, “I know that we’ve had our differences, honey, but I just wanted to say that everything I did, I did to protect you.”

Julia saw it more as wrapping her up in cotton wool but she knew she couldn’t say that. If Julia did die over in Afghanistan she needed to leave everything here resolved.

“I know, mum,” Julia swallowed around the lump in her throat, “And I promise I shall try and be careful.”

That seemed to settle her mother down when Julia heard the door behind her open.

Looking over her shoulder, Julia faced another young soldier who wished to use the phone. By the shining, unshed tears, look to his eyes Julia saw that he needed it more than she did.

“Listen, I have to go now.” Julia licked her lips, “I’ll try and speak to you soon.” Julia imagined that they would have video calls and satellite phones over in Camp Bastion.

Her mother flew into a panic, “We love you sweetie! Be safe!”

Julia thought of the death letter she just had to write. She hoped they never had to read it.

“I love you too. Speak soon,” Julia’s hand felt heavy as she placed the phone back in its cradle.

Bending down and picking up her pack, slipping the strap over her shoulder, Julia grabbed her helmet in the other and moved aside for the young soldier to use the phone.

Walking back down the corridor, her thick boots squeaking against the polished floor, Julia reached the door and stepped through out into the sunlight.

A part of her past resolved and her future now laid out before her, directing her to Afghanistan.

She could do nothing but take it.



* * *



The plane journey was smooth apart from a small amount of turbulence which had her stomach doing somersaults.

After the plane had levelled out once again and Julia was convinced she wasn’t about to die in a plane crash, she could feel her muscles begin to relax again.

Sat beside Ray, everyone’s bodies were all pressed together as they flew out with the newest squad on their first deployment.

Julia could not say much because, mentally, this was her first deployment as well.

Though not really a deployment, Julia would barely be there a month as she’s taken through the motions, trying to adjust her back to her new civilian life.

People hardly spoke, too much wrapped up in their own thoughts. A few were listening to music, two were reading and another kept re-checking his armour.

Julia just felt oddly at ease; she had wanted this. She wanted to return to Afghanistan and after everything she had done to get here she felt like a young kid on Christmas morning.

Her wishes were coming true though she hadn’t necessarily been a good girl.

Julia thought she had fallen asleep at one point because the next thing she knew she was waking up to Ray shaking her shoulder.

Julia glanced around the cargo plane as everyone was holding on tight to the red straps behind them, their squadron leader going around and strapping in those that couldn’t hold on themselves.

“We’re about to descend,” Ray clarified and Julia saw the red seat sign blinking over their heads.

Settling in for a rough descend, she trapped her pack behind her legs under the seat when the tires touched the tarmac and, after weeks of training, they had landed in Afghanistan.

“Don’t forget your packs and stick together!” The leader barked their orders as the new recruits were immediately on their feet and standing by the door.

Julia remained at the back with the men from her own squad and waited for the cargo doors to open, forming a ramp onto the Afghan sand.

The first thing that struck Julia was the colour.

The entire area seemed to be glowing yellow, the floor, the buildings, even the sky seemed to be the colour of sand.

A second later it was the heat.

Clinging to her form like a cloud, Julia had broken out in a sweat before she had even disembarked the plane.

And the moment she did, leading Ray with his hand in the crook of her elbow, Julia was struck by how beautiful this place was.

Buzzing with military life as nearly several thousand soldiers inhabited the camp; Julia was in awe of the city they had created.

“Breathtaking, right?” Ray smirked, hearing her silence.

Julia snapped out of her resolve and turned to Ray, “It’s alright,” She laughed. Secretly her eyes kept trailing over the buildings and passing servicemen and women.

“Wait until you try the burgers,” Ray chuckled, “You’ll never want to leave again.”

Julia laughed but she didn’t reply.

For a minute she simply stood there, the sand crunching beneath her boots, her eyes squinting against the bright sun, and Julia breathed in its scent.

She found herself thinking only one thing. How could she possibly forget such a place as this?