Chapter 17

Julia sat at the end of her bunk facing the gap in her tent, which acted as the doorway, and watched Marc closely.

She was alone in the female-only tent, her damp hair dripping over her shoulder, as she took a few moments to herself.

This was her third day here and she had avoided Marc as much as she could. She took her food back to her own tent rather than eat with the others and she exercised with her own unit, preferring their company.

Julia didn’t know why she was avoiding Marc, the last time she had seen him he had been fully supportive in sending her here, but yesterday when he saw her . . .

She didn’t know why but he seemed to look at her with anger. He seemed to be angry that she was here.

And Julia didn’t know how to process that, especially after he had persuaded her to come.

But mixing that confusion with her latest revelation just caused Julia to become anxious. Because her revelation called for her to ask the question she didn’t want to face, or even consider.

But Julia needed to face all of her demons and all of her questions.

Why hadn’t he stayed after her accident? The injuries to her memory hadn’t become apparent immediately, due to her induced coma, and she knew he had commitments to the navy but- but she was his fiancé!

The way he spoke about his Jules, it sounded like he would have moved heaven and earth to be with her. Julia had been counting on his firm belief that she would come back from this to get her through.

But now he wouldn’t look at her. Julia found one of her main reasons for being here begin to crumble.

Why hadn’t he tried to reach her sooner? The question blared in her mind like an alarm.

Julia knew her mother could be frightening but if he loved her, as he said he did, why had he left?

She didn’t know how to take it. Something told her that Jules would have shot him with her own service weapon but that wasn’t Julia.

It was a painful thought to think that she wasn’t the same person, but was that why Marc looked at her differently?

Was he angry that Jules got blown up and forgot him?

Well, Julia couldn’t do anything about that. Maybe if he had visited her sooner then maybe she wouldn’t have forgotten him.

Julia was thinking this when her commanding officer called her out of her tent.

Tearing her eyes off Marc, Julia hurried out of her tent to greet the news that she was going on patrol today.

“Get ready, Sergeant. You leave in ten minutes.”

“Thank you, sir.” Julia turned and raced to get ready, she had been trained for this. They had been here three days whilst Marc and his unit left to go on patrol and she remained behind.

Julia always watched the gate, waiting for him to return, but this time it would be his turn to watch. Watch for her to return but then she realised he had been watching ever since she left, waiting for his Jules.

Julia found herself growing angry as she pulled on her jacket, strapping on her vest and pack.

“They won’t let me have a gun.” Ray’s resigned sigh filled the air.

Julia turned as a smile came to her lips, her bad mood easing, when she saw Ray stood before her.

“Something to do with my hand-eye co-ordination.” Ray joked about his blindness.

“You’re going on Patrol?” Julia checked out his uniform as she leant down and grabbed her weapon, confused.

“Ahh, you can’t get rid of me that easily, Reynolds.” Ray waved a finger at her, or at least he thought he did. He could have been waving a finger at an empty bunk bed for all he knew.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Julia guided his hand to her elbow, walking him across the compound and towards the gate where they gathered before leaving on patrol.

Tying her wet hair back into a bun Julia strapped on her helmet, when she turned and saw Marc approach with three other men.

Julia recognised Carlos Ramirez, with his clenched jaw, but not the other man. He looked young but dependable with red freckles across his nose and matching locks that peeked out from under his helmet.

The furthest on the right looked to be an Afghan national with his caramel skin and thick black beard which had been trimmed delicately to sculpt his jawline.

His hair, the same colour of a raven’s feather, ran in straight waves to his shoulders.

His chocolate eyes looked guarded and yet his stance appeared relaxed when he turned and looked directly at her, fixing her hair.

Julia averted her gaze, unsure as to why but when she looked back the man had reached their group along with Marc.

So that it’s then, Julia sighed, Marc was coming along with them.

A part of Julia wanted to catch his eye, to see if he was still angry at her, but another part of her wanted to turn her back and focus on the present.

She was finally about to do what she had been training for, she could not let her emotions for Marc jeopardise that.

If Julia did well here then there was a chance she could be re-integrated back into the navy and wasn’t that what Julia wanted?

Re-shifting her pack securely on her shoulders, Julia heard Marc begin to speak to them all.

“My name is Marcus, this is Carlos and Steve,” Marc pointed to the red-haired lad as he spoke the last name, “More commonly known as ‘Twitch’”.

Julia frowned, wondering why they called him that when she saw Steve’s left eyebrow and the corner of his lip pull back in a small twitch.

“And this,” Marc turned and faced the Afghan national soldier, “is Kazeem. He’s here to learn from us.”

Julia felt the small rumble that erupted from one or two people in her unit, their injuries making them prejudiced towards the Afghan but Kazeem barely blinked an eye.

Marc didn’t pause in his speech, “Keep your heads down and remember your training. Let’s move out!”

Julia took a deep breath as she turned to face the opening gates as the soldiers on guard above them watched the surrounding area for movement.

Julia guessed it was all clear for them to continue because the next minute they were exiting the compound.

The air felt cooler out here, the sand crunched louder beneath her boots and her mind soared with the fact that she was on patrol, she even felt happier about the thin layer of sweat that permanently covered her body.

Ray’s fingers were clasped to her elbow, his mixture of emotions pouring into his grip as he held onto her tightly.

Julia patted his shoulder in achievement, “We’re here, Ray. We’ve done it.”

Julia saw a smile break out onto Ray’s cracked lips and she shared in it with him.



* * *



They patrolled the mountain range a few ‘kliks’ from their compound and whilst they scared a few animals they came across no insurgents or any threat.

It was a quiet patrol when Marc ordered them to take a break on a small ledge that jutted out from the side of a mountain.

Julia dropped her heavy sack to the ground and collapsed against a boulder, taking shelter in the small degree of shade as she untied the water canister from her bag.

Taking a healthy swig, Julia saw Ray doing the same when she spotted Kazeem in the background. He was sat outside the group as he seemed to be staring into the distance.

Julia followed his eyeline but found only mountain ranges and small creeks that ran through the valley.

“I’ll be back in a minute.” Julia tapped Ray’s shoulder, letting him know she wasn’t abandoning him, and walked through the group.

“It’s- It’s Kazeem, right?” Julia introduced herself carefully, “My name’s Julia.”

Kazeem turned and looked up at her from under thick eyelashes, his black hair falling in front of his face as he regarded her hand curiously.

Julia swallowed as they remained in silence for a few seconds as her hand dangled in the air uselessly.

After a while, Kazeem gave her hand a single hard shake before he dropped it.

“Would you like a drink?” Julia held out her canteen.

Kazeem, once again stared at her curiously but this time he declined her offer.

Julia screwed the cap back on as she stuck her jaw against the inside of her cheek; he wasn’t making this easy.

“What are you looking for?” Julia asked as she occupied the small boulder next to his, “Insurgents?”

Kazeem narrowed his eyes at her close proximity but the hard glare he sent in her direction did not waver Julia; he hadn’t met her mother, after all.

Once he realised she wasn’t going away, Kazeem spoke in perfect English.

“No,” Kazeem shook his head, “I am not looking for anything. I am looking at my country, at my home.”

Julia blinked as she turned and looked back over the mountain ranges and then, for the first time, Julia realised that Kazeem was right.

This was his home and they were patrolling it with guns. Julia did not know how she would feel if she found soldiers patrolling her village back in England. Would she be scared? Angry?

“It’s beautiful.” Julia told him truthfully.

“It was beautiful.” Kazeem corrected her and the sadness in his voice made Julia feel ashamed, as if she had personally ordered her country’s forces to be deployed.

“Sergeant Reynolds?”

Julia tore her eyes from Kazeem’s and looked over her shoulder to see Marc, beckoning her over to his side.

Julia took the offered exit as the conversation with Kazeem grew too heavy for her and hurried to Marc’s side, forgetting about how she had been avoiding him.

“What were you talking with Kazeem about?” Marc frowned in concern.

“His home,” Julia hoped he didn’t wish for her to expand on the topic because she wasn’t sure where she would begin.

“Come with me.” Marc spoke softly, pulling her to the side where they were far enough away from the group not to be missed but that their conversation remained private.

Julia’s breathing hitched as she felt his hand remain on her arm, her mind registering that he was about to say something important but she could not get her mouth to work.

“I- I just wanted to say-” Marc sighed as he tried to figure out what to say, dropping his hand, “That is, I thought I should explain about the other day.”

Julia nodded her head because she still hadn’t figured out what to say herself. She wanted to ask why he hadn’t stayed at the beginning but even she knew that this wasn’t the time nor the place.

“I had heard you were being deployed to Bastian,” Marc informed her, “But it was a shock to see you here. I thought you would have been placed in a different- Actually, no.” Marc shook his head, “That’s no excuse. I treated you poorly and I apologise.”

Julia pressed her lips together, she wanted to say that it was okay and he hadn’t treated her poorly at all but he had.

Julia couldn’t get that look of anger out of his eyes, so she asked him. “Are you angry with me?”

“Angry with you?” Marc seemed baffled by her question, “No, not at all. Why would you think I was angry with you?”

Julia stuttered, “T- The way you looked at me the other day when you saw me. I thought you didn’t want me here and that you were angry with me.”

“Jule- Julia,” Marc corrected himself as he placed his hands atop her shoulders, his body beckoning warmth towards hers, “If I’m angry at anyone, I’m angry at myself for not being able to protect you.”

Julia closed her eyes as she heard his words, knowing that he spoke of her accident, “Marc . . .”

“No,” Marc lifted his hand from her shoulder and cupped her cheek, “I knew the threats and I still sent you in there. I should have canvased the area again, I should have double-checked everything before I sent you in there.”

“Marc,” Julia took a deep breath as she placed her own hand over his, “I knew the threats too and I still went in there.”

“But-” Marc began to speak, no doubt to tell her she was wrong and carry all the blame himself, when the air was filled with soft popping sounds.

Julia’s head turned to face the sound when she felt Marc wrap his arm around her shoulders and pull her towards the ground.

“Cover fire!” Marc ordered as everybody raised their weapons and fired into the distance.

Crawling out from under Marc’s grasp, Julia reached her pack beside Ray and grabbed for her weapon.

“Keep your head down!” Julia shouted at Ray as she grabbed a fistful of his jacket and pushed him behind the largest boulder she could find.

Kneeling beside him, Julia pressed her face into her scope and began to scour the surrounding area looking for the shooter.

Her heart was pumping so loudly in her ears, Julia could hardly hear the gunshots as they shattered the mountain rock beneath them but every sense in her body had gone into overdrive. Taking a deep breath, Julia remembered her training before she slowly released her breath and pulled the trigger.