Chapter Twenty-One

Ariya's P.O.V.

Dinner is quiet. No one knows what to do or say. Mike is sporting a few pending bruises and I'm sure I am too. I don't think anyone really knows how to respond to my latest outburst; not that I particularly care. I see Justin's hand edge towards me, so I hiss, “Touch me and I'll break that hand.”

He stops his movement, like he didn't realize that's what he was doing. Then he whispers back, “Say something to Lou. Tell her what you told me earlier.”

“What? Why?”

“Because she'll appreciate it. It's a step towards being a civilized person. Just do it.”

“That's just dumb. And I'm quite civilized thank you very much.”

He snorts, “Yeah, right. I don't call ripping someone to pieces 'quite civilized'. For once, don't argue, just tell her.”

I sigh and bite back a response. This is dumb and it's not going to work. Surely people aren't that dumb. She's got to know Justin told me to tell her and that it's not natural conversation for me. Right?

“Louise?”

She looks up from her bowl of chili but doesn't make eye contact with me for very long. This girl needs some serious tuition in getting some balls, man.

“I'm not going to hit you.”

She stares at me after I've said this. I don't know what she expects to see. Eventually, she whispers, “How do I know that?”

“Coz you're a girl. I'll hit one of the guys coz they can fight back, well, except for Todd, obviously...”

I had to say that. I see Justin tense up beside me. Ha, not going the way you planned, huh Justin? Mike holds back a chuckle and I can see Todd turn red as he says, “You jumped me. You didn't give any warning.”

“Should have kept your mouth shut then, isn't it?”

I smirk at him and Justin shoots him a look, which I'm assuming tells Todd to shut up, because everything falls silent again.

“I'll tell you what I told Justin, I don't lie. You may not like my honesty but that's how I work. If I tell you I'm not going to hit you, then I won't. I don't lie.”

She must feel brave with the guys there, because she asks, “So why can't you say you're not going to hit anyone else then?”

“That would be a lie. You don't have to like me. Heck, you don't even have to be near me if you don't want to. That's more than fine with me. But Justin wanted me to tell you I won't hit you, so that's what I'm doing. I like my opponents to fight back, so you're safe.”

Justin warns, “Ariya.”

“I'm done. Rest easy, soldier boy.”

I hear a few snickers as I stand up. They're all for laughing when it's not at their expense, aren't they? I walk away from the camp fire and go to my makeshift bed. You actually don't know how pleased I am to be staying out in the open. This is what I'm used to, although the sky is much clearer here. The weather is much warmer and I can actually see the stars, instead of lights from all the different buildings and businesses.

I lay on the sleeping bag, watching the sky for ages before Justin appears. I know what his mood is before he even sits on his sleeping bag.

He doesn't need to say anything, I know what he's thinking. So I say, “What? I did what you wanted. You should be happy.”

He sighs, “I give up, really. Can't you just be nice for a few minutes?”

“Hey! That was nice...”

“You have got to be kidding me. You really need to work on your definition of nice.”

“As long as I'm not ripping someone apart, I'm being nice. That's a pretty simple definition to me really.”

“No, it's not that black and white, Ariya. You really need some work on your people skills. And they thought I was bad in the Marines. My CO would have had kittens if you were under his command.”

I smirk and muse, “I should have been a Marine. You get my humor.”

“It's not all about humor, you know.”

“You get to blow things up, shoot people and stuff. Tell me that isn't cool.”

“Cool isn't quite the word I'd use to describe it. It's a big responsibility. We have to know when it's the right time to do what we have to do. You can't just go around shooting everyone.”

“If they deserve it, then why not? Although, I'd much rather use my fists.”

“So we've seen. What am I going to do with you, huh?”

“Hopefully let me go back home.”

“Home? You want to talk about the place you call home?”

“It's a city, one that never sleeps actually. There are millions of citizens and a whole load of tourists...”

“Very funny. Less of the attitude, missy. Just get some sleep. You'll need it for tomorrow. We're on breakfast duty and I expect you to actually eat something substantial. You're getting far too skinny.”

“You've been watching my figure? You sure you aren't a creeper? Making me sleep in the same room as you, cuffing me to your wrist, watching my figure. Do I need to beat you up to tell you to back off?”

“No, I'm not a creeper and you couldn't beat me up if you even tried. You might give it a good go, but I'm better than you, so I will win.”

“Cocky much? We'll have to see about bringing your ego down a few pegs. How about a session before breakfast?”

“Sure thing. I think you deserve it after talking to me today. Night Ariya.”

“Yeah.”

I wait til he falls asleep before getting up and taking a walk. I'm not going to get much sleep so I may as well make the most of the outdoors. I creep round to where the horses are. Splash and Star are snoozing and the other three are eating the grass. As soon as I approach, Splash's eyes snap open and he stands straight. A few weeks ago, I would have found that unnerving, but I'm a bit more used to the horses and I'm not so worried about their reactions.

I sit on a fallen log and Splash walks over to me. I whisper, “Hey. You like the outdoors too, huh? Don't you just want to run? Get away from all of this work and bondage? Surely you can't like being ridden all the time?”

He snorts and puts his snot all over me. “Eww, that's gross dude. I don't need you to share your snot with me.”

He rests his head in my lap and I run my fingers across his forehead. “You're not that bad, are you? You must think I'm not too terrible either, otherwise you wouldn't be here. I think I'm too tired, horse. I'm blowing my cover here, and that's not like me. I can't keep it together and I don't like that feeling. It must be the lack of sleep, right? That's the only thing that's different. I don't want to turn into him. I can't do that. If I'm destined to be like him then there's no hope for me, is there? Well, I'm clearly not sane. I'm asking a horse questions. That's crazy. Can we make a deal? If I sleep here, can you keep watch? I just need a few hours, but I need someone to keep guard. Can you do that for me?”

I swear he understands me, because he snorts again.

“A yes would have been sufficient, man. Enough with the snot sharing, gosh.”

I chuckle at him and I run my hands across his face, before settling on the floor against the log. I wonder how I can trust these horses, but not trust Justin or any other person. Probably because horses have never hurt me. People have done nothing but hurt me. I decide that I'll give myself a day or two to catch up on some sleep. If I really can't control myself or if I think I really am becoming him, then I'll have to do something about it.

As I'm drifting off to sleep, I mutter, “Just a few days and I'll sort it out...”

I feel Splash's breath on the top of my head as sleep pulls me in.

I jump awake at the sound of a horse snorting and then I hear a twig snap. I'm up quicker than I can wipe the the sleep from my eyes. I startle the horses, but Splash stands with me, even after the others have trotted away from us.

I scan the area and I find Justin standing a little ways from Splash and I.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I woke up and you still weren't back so I came to make sure everything was ok.”

“What time is it?”

“4am. We need to make a start on breakfast.”

“Right.”

As I trail behind Justin, he asks, “Everything ok? You were gone all night.”

“I took a walk and then fell asleep. I didn't realize the time.”

He nods and I'm sure there's more going on in his head than he wants to admit. “Splash really likes you. He had his head on your lap.”

“Yeah.”

I find it unnerving that Justin got close enough to see that and I didn't notice. My senses must be getting duller because I've been away from the streets. I need to work on that. We get breakfast ready in silence. Justin gets the bacon and pancakes ready to go on the fire that I'm making. Don't ask me how we have all these ingredients, because I couldn't tell you. He must be a master at packing things safely for this purpose.

When the food is cooking, he asks, “You still want that training session?”

“Huh?”

“Do you still want to train?”

“Oh, yeah.”

I was lost in thought. I can't help but wonder what I'm going to do if I can't get my anger under control. I'm concerned I'm letting my guard down and that Justin is getting too close. I didn't notice he was near where I was sleeping, until Splash alerted me.

As Justin throws a pair of gloves to me, he asks, “You sure you're ok? You were miles away.”

“Fine.”

We spar and it doesn't take me long to get back that familiar sense of freedom whenever I fight someone. I know I'm only training or sparring, but it's still getting to hit someone and still some physical exertion. Thankfully, Justin doesn't comment on my state of mind and he doesn't try to hold a conversation with me.

I manage to get through most of the day's riding without any major mishaps or blow ups. There are a few arguments, but Justin drags me away before anything can come to blows.

Justin puts me with Louise to prepare dinner, while the three guys go and find some firewood. He warns Louise, “She can't cook, so just have her prepare the food. Ariya, be nice. I'm trusting you to behave yourself.”

I smirk, “Always. Well, unless you don't want me to. That can be arranged...”

“You're something else.”

“That's what I've been told. Too bad you'll never find out.”

Louise is bright red and the shock on the guys' faces is hilarious. Justin has a mischievous glint in his eye and I briefly wonder what he's planning. I don't get much time to think about it though, because they're gone almost as soon as Justin's look appeared.

Louise and I work in silence, which is completely fine with me. She only tells me what I need to do with the food. It looks like lots of beans and stuff with rice. I suppose that kind of food is easy to carry in the saddle bags. There's a river that runs through the middle of Justin's property, so we're close to a water supply. Eventually, Louise asks, “Could you go get some water please? I think we'll need both containers filled.”

I nod and grab the two water canisters before setting off for the river. Once I'm there, I take off my boots and roll up my pant legs so I can wade in the water. The cool liquid feels refreshing on my hot feet and I use this time to rinse off my dusty face and arms. I have been spoiled by having a shower and I want to get the dust and sweat off my skin. I must get my tough exterior back. If I'm ever going to survive back on the streets I need to get myself back to being hardy. I need to get away from this place, but Justin won't let me go unless I meet his requirements. One of those requirements is to talk to him about anything he deems necessary. I don't think I can do that. Actually, I know I can't do that. My past is none of his business and I intend for it to say like that.

As I finish filling up the canisters, I hear someone walk behind me so I spin round quickly to check it out. Justin. He needs to stop walking up behind me. I'll end up smacking him in the mouth if he doesn't stop.

“I thought I might need to send out a search party. You've been a while here.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Mike's even got the fire going.”

“Oh.”

I won't apologize. I'm not sorry, so there's no point saying something I don't mean.

“You're acting... weird. What's going on?”

“Nothing.”

“I thought you didn't lie?”

He has kind of got me on that one, so I clarify, “Nothing for you to know about.”

“That's more like it. You really want to go home, huh?”

“Yes.”

“Ariya, you live on the streets, don't you? That's why you're so comfortable out here and that's why you know how to build a fire to last, isn't it? Most city girls don't know about making fires...”

“I don't see how my personal life is any of your business.”

“I'm not judging. In fact, I think it's quite brave but also a little bit sad. It's sad how they can just throw you out once you hit 18...”

I chuckle, “You really don't know anything. Stop trying to be my friend.”



I grab the canisters and my boots before walking off barefoot, leaving Justin behind. My heart is racing though. This man is getting too close. He's figuring things out, and while him knowing I'm homeless isn't the end of the world, him figuring out the rest of my past will be devastating.