Chapter Forty



Justin's P.O.V.



That girl really is something else. Despite everything, I really do like her. Maybe a bit too much. Is it considered wrong to have the hots for a girl in this situation? Probably. I'm sure that crosses so many lines and regulations. There's only six years between our ages; her being twenty-one and me being twenty-seven, so it's not like I'm taking advantage of a minor or anything. Although, she is under my care and supervision, so that would probably be considered abusing my authority. Still, I can't help that I find her hot. She's got a smoking hot body, but there's a special something about her that keeps pulling me in. Overhearing her bragging to Mike has my mind going a bit wild. Hey, I can't help that I'm a guy and my mind goes places of it's own accord.



She knows. As much as I try to play it down, she's going to know. She's too good at reading me; something I've never really had to worry about. I'm good at masking my emotions and features, but Ariya can see through that. Probably because she's as good as me with hiding her feelings.



I change the subject completely, "David is coming out to look at Flame later today. She's got a sore on her back that won't heal. Do you want to stick around for that?"



"Why not? He's easy to annoy..."



"Seriously? Your sole purpose for watching is because he's easy to annoy? Not because you want to learn anything?"



She shoots me a blank look, but I know there's a hidden meaning behind it. It seems like everything with this girl is calculated. I don't believe she does anything without a well thought out reason.



"What's that look for?"



"Honestly? I don't know why you'd think I'd learn something from him. There isn't much I don't know about wounds; just saying."



"Alright, why don't you take a look and tell me what you think it is? Then we'll see if David's assessment matches your's. You up for a challenge?"



"Bring it on."



She smirks and I find myself genuinely smiling back at her. She's amusing, to say the least. I don't know how she goes from one mood to another so quickly. It almost makes my neck snap with the sudden changes.



I show her Flame's wound and I notice she keeps her distance from me. Could it be that she's attracted to me as well, and is trying to avoid any contact because of it? No, surely not. She's been like that from the very beginning, and we didn't even know each other then.



Ariya looks closely at the wound and carefully feels it and the surrounding area. She's good with the horse, making sure she's quiet and gentle. A side I've never really seen in her.



"There's something in there. I can't guess what, but there's definitely something in there. It's got infected, and that's why it won't heal."



"I did look around and feel for a foreign object. I couldn't find anything."



She shrugs, "It's there; trust me."



At the risk of ruining the moment, I ask, "Why should I trust you? I mean, you've got no qualifications in this area and you've never been around horses before... Besides, the last time I used that phrase you almost bit my head off."



She shrugs again and I see her tossing something up before she eventually speaks, "I've got a lot of experience with wounds. I know more than most on this subject, so while I don't have a paper to show a qualification, I have the knowledge just the same."



Ok, now that, I wasn't expecting. She's actually revealed something about herself.



"How come you have so much experience with wounds?"



She sends me a puzzled look and then says, "Er, I'm a fighter...? You think I don't get hurt? I know I'm good, but I'm not invincible."



"Really? That's what you're going with? Do you think I don't see through that excuse?"



"You calling me a liar?"



Wow, there's that anger again. I haven't missed it, that's for sure. I know she always tells the truth.



"No, I don't think you're a liar. But I do believe you're hiding behind that excuse. I think you're hiding the real reason you have so much experience with wounds..."



She pinches the bridge of her nose and lets out a deep breath. She really is trying. She's actually been working hard this last week at being calmer and not biting people's heads off. She has tried to stay out of the way, so her new resolve hasn't exactly been tested much, but I can't expect a drastic change so quickly.



She's silent for a few seconds; probably choosing her next words carefully.



"I don't have the luxury of being able to visit doctors, so I deal with things myself."



That's still only half an answer, but I'll let it slide for now.



I simply say, "I'm sorry that you can't see a doctor back at home. You can always see the town's doctor, if you'd like."



"No doctors. I told you that already."



"You don't have to worry about payment..."



She growls, "No doctors."



She really is adamant about this issue. Maybe she's worried about what they'll find. She could be sick and doesn't want to know about it. It could also have something to do with the scars that she has on her upper torso.



"Ariya? I want to ask you something, but I don't want you to get angry. If you don't want to answer, it's fine, but I want you to control any anger you might feel."



I pause to let my words sink in, and then I ask, "Are you worried the doctors are going to see your scars and ask questions?"



She blinks a few times and I can see the fire burning in her eyes. She wants to explode but instead, she grinds out, "That's none of your business. Don't talk about my body like that. Mind your freaking business."



"I'm not asking you what caused the scars. I only asked if you don't want to see a doctor in case they ask too many questions. If that's the case, then I'm sure I can get you in to see my Marine doctor. He's seen more injuries than you can imagine and he won't question anything."



I see the doubt flash in her eyes and then she quickly says, "No doctors."



My offer has diffused her anger slightly, but there's still a hardness in her tone. I don't know what has happened to this woman standing in front of me, but someone sure has done some serious damage to her. She's so untrusting and wary of people and I really don't think it is solely due to her parents. Although, I'm sure they were the start of all these issues.



I made the mistake of pushing for answers far too soon with Ariya, but I won't make the same mistake again. I will wait until she's ready to talk. I'll bring her right to the edge of me asking and then I'll back off; leaving her wondering why I haven't pushed for answers. Eventually, she'll offer some information, because of my lack of asking.



"Ok, no doctors; unless you're in a life or death situation. Still, the offer stands. If you ever want to see a doctor, for anything, then I'll book you in with my doctor. He won't ask any questions, other than what's relevant to your condition."



She surprises me by completely ignoring my offer, but instead she asks, "Are you still in active service?"



She knows some military terminology. That I wasn't expecting.



I truthfully answer, "Yes ma'am. At the moment, my Commanding Officer wants me here, to continue this program. I can be called back into the base or to go out on tour whenever they want me to."



She nods, "Are they expecting you to find new recruits through this program?"



I think she's testing me, to see if I will answer her questions honestly. I'm not going to lie to her. I have no reason to lie to her.



"Probably. They haven't specifically requested that, but it was implied."



She smirks, "So, should I expect someone to approach me?"



I can't tell if she's joking or not, so I shrug and reply, "You've got skills, I'll admit that. You could be in the armed forces, but you're too much of a liability. You're too volatile and you'd never pass the psych evaluation. You'd give off so many red flags that they'd stay clear of you."



She chuckles, "Good to know. At least I know what not to apply for as my next job."



I'm intrigued by her statement, so I ask, "Do you have a job?"



I think she's so shocked by the question, that she actually answers, "I'm a fighter."



Now, that could be a literal statement, meant to distract me, or she could actually have that as her job. It would explain a lot, but it wouldn't make sense for her to still be homeless.



"Surely, with your skill set, you could make a fortune fighting for real. Unless you're sitting on a small fortune that no one knows about, I'm thinking you're trying to play me..."



"Believe what you want. If I was going to lie about it, then I wouldn't have answered."



David appears in the barn, interrupting our conversation. I feel Ariya's mood change instantly. She's turned cold and the look in her eyes has hardened. She obviously doesn't like or trust David. She doesn't know him, so I don't expect her to. Still, the change of attitude makes me smile, knowing that she's a little more comfortable with me. If she wasn't, she wouldn't be conversing with me and she wouldn't have had such a drastic change in her manner. Maybe we are actually getting somewhere. The nice approach might actually be working.





David tries to be nice to Ariya, but she isn't accepting any of it. She is literally ignoring his friendliness. Although, I have to say, it is borderline flirting going on. She's obviously not impressed by the situation.



David smiles at her and says, "If Justin will let you off leash for a night, I can show you some of the night life around here. I'm sure we could have a good time. I bet by the end of the night I could get at least one smile from you..."



I'm guessing that's the last straw for Ariya, because she shoots me a look and coldly says, "Seriously? I stuck around for this? You told me I'd learn something. That obviously isn't happening. If this guy doesn't shut his mouth, I'm going to do it for him. There's no way on this earth that someone like him will ever make me smile; unless it's while I'm punching his skull in. Tell him to shut his face and do his job or I'll do both for him."



She doesn't crack a smile or even portray any form of anger. That makes her statement more frightening. She's deadly serious about everything she just said. I smirk inwardly, pleased that his charms aren't working on her. He obviously does nothing for her, which gives me hope that I can work on that myself.



David recovers from his shock after a minute or so, "Hey, I'm right here. You're not going to hit me just for being friendly..."



She shoots him a cold look, but doesn't speak. It's me that has to diffuse the situation.



"David, you have no idea what she will do. Just trust me on this; you don't want to push the issue. Let's not start trouble, huh?"



David continues, "You seem like a nice girl, Ariya; I don't know why you're being like this..."



Ariya snorts and then cooly remarks, "You obviously know nothing about me. I'm not a 'nice girl'. And if you think that Justin has me on a leash, then you really are deceived. I do what I want, when I want. I've already proven that. There's no way on this earth that I'd ever go anywhere with someone like you. Do yourself a favor and don't talk to me again..."



I grind out, "Ariya..."



She smirks at me and shrugs, "I'm done. He's going to do his job and leave me alone."



She has fire in her belly, that's for sure and certain. I like that she's not afraid to speak her mind and stand up for herself, but she's got to learn when to rein it back a bit. At this moment in time, I would be the first to admit if David was being creepy or out of line. Aside from a little borderline flirting, he wasn't doing anything to warrant that treatment. Unfortunately, I have to deal with the horse and wait for David to leave before I can talk to Ariya about whatever just happened.



David looks shocked and annoyed, but he focuses on Flame's wound. He's smart enough to know not to add fuel to the fire. I have no doubt that Ariya would hit him if he continued.



He closely inspects Flame's back. He gives her a little sedation so he can scrape the sore and look inside it closer. Eventually, he speaks,"She's got something in there. It looks like it could be a thorn or something..."



Ariya snorts out a little chuckle and I shoot her a small smile. She was right. Instead of just letting it go, she has to comment on the situation.



"So, you're going to pay him a whole load of money for something I told you for free? How is that right? Technically, you should give me that money..."



"I never said I was going to pay you anything. I asked if you were up for a challenge. If you wanted some payment or forfeit, then you should have said so at the beginning. There's no going back now."



David is watching the pair of us carefully and Ariya catches him staring.



"Well, are you going to get it out of there, or do I have to do that as well? Geez, you really are useless..."



I send her a warning, telling her to keep her mouth shut now. She's deliberately trying to rile him up and that's uncalled for.



She tries to look innocent, "What? The horse is in pain and he's just standing there, staring. Shouldn't he at least try to help the animal?"



David quickly grabs his kit and I hear him mutter, "Anything to get me out of here faster. She's a real piece of work..."



Ariya hears him, because she chuckles. I see his ears flush with a pink color and I know he knows she heard.



"You seriously have no idea what a piece of work I am. You've only seen a tiny fraction of how nasty I really am. Help the horse."





Once David has dug out the thorn from Flame's sore, stitched it up and then given me some antibiotics for her, he gets ready to leave. I walk him out to his truck and thank him for his help. He sighs deeply before speaking.



"That girl is something else. You sure you know what you're doing?"



"She's not like that all the time. She doesn't like you. I don't know why, but she really doesn't like you. Maybe cut out the sweet talk next time, huh?"



"Next time? I'm not sure there will be a next time. She doesn't want me talking to her unless absolutely necessary. I think she made that pretty clear."



"I would say her bark is worse than her bite, but I've seen the damage she can do. I wasn't warning you for no reason, man."



"Appreciated. I'll call back in a few days to check and redress Flame's wound."



I nod and watch him drive away before heading back to the barn to face Ariya. When I return to the stalls, Ariya is giving Flame extra hay. She's talking to the horse, but I can't quite make out what she's saying. I almost feel like I'm interrupting the moment, so I clear my throat before I'm standing in front of Flame's door.



I raise one eyebrow and question, "What was all that about?"



"All what?"



"Don't play coy with me. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You didn't have to be so nasty..."



"I wasn't nasty."



"Er, yes you were. You basically told him he was trash at his job!"



"I didn't say that."



"No, instead you told he him really was useless. Surely, that's the same thing. I get that you don't like him being nice to you, trying to sweet talk you or whatever, but you didn't need to go for his profession like that. He's a good vet; something you wouldn't know. You haven't known him long enough or seen enough of his work to comment on that. I thought you were trying? That did not seem like you were trying..."



She chuckles, "You really have no idea. That was me holding back. I wanted to smash his face in and tell him what a creep he is, but I refrained from doing that. Here's me thinking you'd be pleased about that fact. Once again, I aim to disappoint..."



She walks away and heads for the house. I'm guessing she's used to disappointing people or she wouldn't be so comfortable with the prospect of it. I don't know if she likes disappointing people, but she's probably so used to it and everyone has come to expect it, that she just lives up to those expectations. I want her to aim higher; to be the best person she can be. I don't want to expect her to fail or disappoint. I think the anger she has built up inside herself burdens her and clouds her vision and judgement. She could do so much more and be so much more if her anger wasn't stopping her from progressing.

I know this from personal experience. I was so angry with life, with myself and with civilians when I returned from the Middle East. I was so angry that no one understood the things we had seen and done and I lashed out at everyone. I was so filled with rage that I became a liability and I could never truly be happy or get any further in my life. Once I worked through the anger and found some kind of peace, then I was able to carry on with my life. I was stuck on pause the whole time I retained that anger. I'm not saying I'm perfect or that I fully understand or accept everything I've seen and done. That would be a lie. I've lost friends in some horrific ways. I lost a part of me back when I was in combat and that is something I've had to learn to accept and live with, otherwise it was going to drive me insane. I just have to figure out how I'm going to get that message through to Ariya. Somehow, I don't think me telling her my whole story will make the slightest bit of difference. I think she'll just see it as a game plan; and that is what it would be. Just a way to get her to talk. I don't want to play it out that way. She'll just shut down if she thinks I'm playing her. I have to be more clever than that. I have to get her to realize I actually do have her best interests in mind and that I'm not playing a game with her. I'm going to need a lot of luck and even more patience with this task.