Chapter Forty-Two

Justin's P.O.V.



That woman is going to be the death of me; seriously. She changes so quickly and it's nearly impossible to keep up. That Joe guy turning up has seriously upset the apple cart. This leads me to believe there's more going on with the whole situation. Knowing that Ariya won't actually go anywhere, I make myway into the house again. Louise is giving Palmer some lunch with Mike and Todd looking on in wonder.



I clear my throat, raise an eyebrow and curtly say, "The animals won't tend to themselves, guys. Ariya has cleaned all the stalls, but you need to do the rest of the barn work and head count the herd. Get on that while I have a chat with our visitor."



They all leave the house pretty quickly and while Palmer eats, I spin a chair round and sit so I can rest my arms on the back of the chair and still face him. He shoots me a sideways glance and I know I'm making him uncomfortable. Good. I'm glad I still have that skill. Ariya was making me doubt my ability to scare people.



I wait for him to swallow the bite of sandwich he's just taken before I say anything. I think the silence is making him even more uncomfortable.



"So, what's the story here?"



"No story, sir."



I shrug, "I find that hard to believe. I mean, you came all this way for what? Just to check on Ariya on her birthday? That seems a little odd to me. You'll forgive me if I'm a bit suspicious of the whole thing."



He takes a deep breath and then explains, "I think she has issues. I think she's misunderstood and that she probably isn't as bad as she makes out. I don't know why she is the way she is, but I didn't want her to spend her birthday in an unfamiliar place without a familiar face, at least. I've known herfor a long time because I've arrested her many times over the years. By the time she was sent here, we'd come to a bit of an understanding. She used to hit me, but she stopped doing that when I started treating her with a bit of respect and like a person; not just another criminal. I don't know what is going on in her head, but she'll treat people according to the way they treat her. That's why I'm so shocked she exploded so much at seeing me. She hasn't done that in a very long time. She normally shoots sarcastic remarks my way, but nothing like the reaction she gave me earlier."



I purse my lips together, trying to decide if this guy is telling the truth. It's saying something when I trust a criminal over a cop, but Ariya isn't like anyone I've ever encountered, in more ways than you can imagine.



I decide to risk showing my hand by asking, "Have you ever managed to get any information out of her or made any kind of friendship with her?"



He chuckles, "Not a chance. That girl doesn't give anything away. She doesn't have friends and she doesn't want friends. She's made that very clear on a number of occasions. She's never had any known associates and we've always found her on her own when we've snapped her up or gone looking for her. She is the complete definition of a loner."



Well, that means I've managed to form some kind of bond or trust with her, because according to this guy she's never given them any information about her past. That kind of makes me feel a bit better about the situation. Maybe having this guy around might not be such a bad thing. Maybe it'll give me some insight into her life before she was sent here.



"Do you know if she works for anyone? Like any gang affiliations?"



Palmer looks slightly stunned for a few seconds, but then he shakes his head, "She doesn't, and trust me, we've looked. We thought that maybe she was running information for some of the gangs in the City, but she's never turned anyone over to us and we've never been able to connect her with anything or anyone. I find it hard to believe that she can be one hundred percent careful and cover her tracks like that, so we're pretty confident that she doesn't answer to anyone or work for anyone. My Captain wanted to flip her for information about anything going down on the street, but no such luck. Not only would she not give us any information, she didn't seem to know anything important."



I think they under estimate Miss Flynn. I believe she knows far more than she lets on. There's also the minor detail of the guy she called and the man that I'm convinced was sent to pick her up from town. Obviously, I don't reveal any of this to Palmer. I don't know him so I can't trust him with that information.



"How did you get here from town?"



"Your sheriff dropped me at the end of your drive. He said he couldn't go any further because he had calls to make."



I smirk at that. More like he's thinking twice about crossing paths with Ariya again. I have no doubt she'll go for him again, especially after he told this Palmer guy where to find her.



"And have you found somewhere to stay?"



"I literally got into town and came straight here. I have no plans thought out or anything."



"Well, Ariya really doesn't want you here so I can't have you stay in the house. I can put you in one of the out houses, I suppose. You'll need to steer clear of Miss Flynn though. She's in a foul mood and I can't guarantee I can keep her away from you or hold her back if she does explode."



He sighs, "I didn't think it would be such a problem. She hasn't been like that with me for a very long time. I know she likes to goad people to get a reaction out of them, but she hasn't been dead set on hurting me in ages."



"I don't think you can ever really know how she's going to react."



"Angry. That's how she's going to react. I can go find somewhere in town to stay. I'll probably make the journey home tomorrow, seeing as she doesn't want to see me."



I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that this guy went out of his way to make the journey here, all for a girl he's arrested a few times. It seems a bit suspicious to me. So I voice this.



"I'm slightly suspicious of this whole situation, to be honest. It seems abit weird that you'd go out of your way to be here for someone you've arrested a number of times. I don't understand why you'd make that journey and take holiday just for that."



Palmer chuckles, "When you put it like that, it does seem a bit weird, I guess. There's nothing behind it, truly. I thought Ariya and I were on amicable terms and I know she really didn't want to leave New York. She wanted the Marshall to shoot her; that's how much she didn't want to come here. My sister was the one who processed this punishment, so I guess I feel a bit guilty for that. I thought Ariya might want a familiar face because I knew how dead set against coming here she was. I guess I mistook her indifference toward me for being amicable. Honestly? I'm a bit intrigued as well."



I raise my eyebrows, "How so?"



"I like her. I think she's amusing. Don't get me wrong, I know she's a criminal and all, but there's just something about her that I like. I think she's misunderstood, for sure. The cops have nothing on her before she turned 18, and her juvenile record is sealed. Usually, that means awful things happened, but she doesn't act like a traumatized person. I guess my curiosity has got the better of me a little."



His last statement gets my back up somewhat. Ariya isn't some kind of science experiment or fairground attraction for people to stare at. I don't like his insinuation that her past is open for discussion or whatever.



I put an end to where this conversation might go, by saying, "You can stay in one of the cabins with Todd until your flight home. I need to get back to the barn. Feel free to join us if you'd like."



"Thanks. I'll just finish my lunch and then I'll be out. I appreciate your hospitality."



I nod, "Sure thing."



I head back out to the barn to check on what everyone is doing. I find Ariya still watching the horses in the corral, so I say, "We're heading out to do fence check. Just you and me. Think you can handle that?"



She scoffs, "I've handled way worse, trust me. Besides, it gets me away from the pig until he leaves..."



I grimace internally, but I can tell she knows something is wrong. She doesn't say anything more until we're on the horses and away from the house and barn.



"He's not leaving, is he?"



I shake my head, "I asked him to stay until his flight home."



"What the...?! Seriously?! I'm not going into that house if he's there. I don't want to be anywhere near him."



"He's going to stay with Todd. If you feel so strongly about it, then I'll stagger your meal times too."



She mutters, "You have got to be kidding me. This is a joke, right?"



"No, unfortunately it's not a joke. What's the deal, Ariya?"



She doesn't answer and she keeps her face annoyingly unreadable so I can't even get any hint from her expressions.



"Why do you hate him so much? I mean, that was a pretty explosive response from you when he first arrived. Granted, it wasn't the best timing in the world but still... Why are you so angry he's here?"



"Dude, I'm always angry."



"That may be so, but you're not always that angry. What's going on?"



"I hate pigs. They're filthy scum and I don't want to be near them."



I chuckle slightly, "If that's the case then you really should stop getting yourself into trouble. Then they'd have no need to arrest you."



"Not the same. There's no point to this. You wouldn't understand."



"Try me. You won't know unless you at least try to explain it."



I see her battling with something, so I wait patiently to see if she'll actually make an effort.



I'm pleasantly surprised when she speaks next.



"He's either trying to ease his conscience or he's trying to get information on me. Either way, I don't like him and I certainly don't trust him. I don't trust anyone, but I especially don't trust cops."



"How do you know he's trying to get information on you? Maybe he's trying to be nice and he wanted to show you a familiar face after you being here all this time."



"He's a pig. They're always trying to get information on you. Besides, people aren't nice. There's always a hidden motive. I don't need or want friends and I'd prefer it if he left."



Wow, she really doesn't trust people. There are some deep rooted issues to go through there, but we'll leave that for another time.



"So, this has nothing to do with the fact he's a cop? Just because he's trying to be nice? I thought you hated cops."



"I hate pig scum. They're all the same."



"I think you class all people as the same, but they really aren't. I mean, I'm nothing like Todd, am I?"



I see the smirk on her face and I know a sarcastic remark is waiting to be released, but nothing leaves her mouth. Something must be wrong.



"What's wrong, Ariya? You're not acting like your normal self..."



Her temper flares, "You don't know me! You don't know the normal me! Stop pretending to be my friend!"



She's been so different the last few weeks; like she really has been trying. This seems to have all been undone by Palmer turning up.



"Why do you hate cops so much? There has to be more to it than just getting arrested or being manhandled by cops for most of your life. Is it because of the way they handled things after your dad died?"



She scoffs and then, like she can't contain her anger any more, she bursts out, "Don't! Don't you talk about him! You have no right to bring him into this! Just stop!"



"Stop what? What am I doing that's so wrong?"



She angrily shouts, "Stop trying to make me remember! Stop making the memories come back! Stop pretending you care!"



Everything falls silent for a few seconds and I see her eyes widen like a deer trapped in bright headlights. Judging by her reaction, she didn't mean to say any of that. How I deal with this revelation is going to be very important to the way our relationship progresses.



I halt Star and Splash follows my mare's lead. I pause for a few seconds before doing or saying anything else.



I make my voice low and as calming as I possibly can. I don't need to spook Ariya any more and risk her bolting.



"Hey, hey. Deep breaths, Ariya. Just calm down for a second. I'm not deliberately trying to make the memories come back. I'm sorry for that. The last thing I want to do is make you remember something that's upset or hurt you. I'm not pretending to care; I actually do care. I know you may not understand this concept, but I like you. I think you're funny and much, much smarter than you let people believe. I know you think I think you're broken, but I honestly don't think that. We all have issues in life that we need to work through, but it doesn't mean we're broken. I want you to work through these issues for your benefit, so you can be happier and not worry you're going to fly off the handle all the time. Despite what you lead us to believe, I don't think you like not being in control of yourself or your reactions."



I let my words sink in before I begin speaking again.



"I know what it's like to have the red haze take over. Believe it or not, I know what it feels like to be so angry that you don't know what to do with the feeling and the only release is to hit someone or something. I remember what it's like to struggle to keep your rage in check. I remember how unhappy I was because I couldn't control my own mind and body. I was never sure how I would react to a situation, especially if I was out of familiar surroundings."



I hear Ariya take in a deep breath and hold it for a few seconds before releasing it slowly. She's silent for a minute or two before she asks me an unexpected question.



"Are you lying to me?"



"Lying? About what?"



"About the way you used to be."



"No, you'd be able to see right through a lie. Why would I lie about that anyway?"



"Because you were a freakin' Marine. They're not supposed to have issues like that. You're supposed to be like machines and unbreakable...."



"No one is unbreakable. Everyone has a breaking point."



She shoots me a disbelieving look so I shrug, "I'm not just feeding you lines. And I'm not just trying to get you to talk to me. That isn't my intention."



"Yeah, sure."



"I already told you; I won't lie to you. You'll see straight through a lie so what's the point in me even trying. I know you don't want to admit that I'm telling you the truth, because then that'll mean you have to admit I am actually different to everyone else. It is true that I had a hard time adjusting to civilian life. I wasn't exactly a shining example of how a solider should behave."



She chuckles, "Oh the irony. You're ragging on me for losing my temper, when you're exactly the same. You told me I was too volatile for the Marines, so what makes you so special? How come you can join but they won't entertain the idea of taking me on?"



"Because I wasn't like that before and I definitely wasn't like that while in active service. It was normal situations that I struggled with."



A fleeting look crosses her features and it seems like she knows a little about not fitting in with'normal' situations. I guess she's spent a lot of time on her own so she struggles with socializing.



I do believe Ariya is opening up a little more, because she comments, "I find that hard to believe. You're not like that. You're a lot of things, but you're not like that..."



"Like what?"



I ask this question because I want to know what she means by that statement. I want to know how she perceives what I am like or not like. I want to know how she's comparing it to her own experiences. I'd like to have some insight into what she really thinks about herself.



She shows just how good at the game she really is when she replies.



"You're not like you say you were. If I didn't know how to read you, then I'd say you were lying."



I chuckle, "You've hit the nail on the head right there. You can read me, so you have to know I'm not lying to you. Whether or not you choose to believe what I say is another thing entirely. How do you think I used to be then? You're good at reading people so let's hear what your thoughts are."



She shakes her head, "Nice try. That's not going to happen. You're either trying to trap me into saying something wrong or you're trying to psycho analyze me. Neither is going to happen."



It was worth a shot I suppose. She knows the game far too well. What can I expect from someone who has taken care of herself for so long?



I chuckle a little before turning slightly more serious, "Do you believe what I'm saying about how I used to act though?"



I need to try and get this conversation back to where it was previously.



She shrugs not really committing to an answer, so I decide to go out on a limb and tell her something that I've only ever really discussed with Chris.



"Being in battle and seeing the sights that I did changes you. I don't care how hard someone is, it changes something inside of you. Some people suffer with PTSD and go into a downward spiral. Some handle things themselves and self medicate I suppose. I was angry with the general population. I hated that they didn't know what I'd seen and done for them; for our country. They'll never know the loss we've suffered and I hated that fact so much. But, I worked long and hard to get my life back under my control. I'm not going to tell you it was easy, but seeing the light at the end of that tunnel was such a relief."

She's silent for a few seconds and she completely glosses over everything I just admitted to her by asking, "That's what Chris was talking about... He's the one who did to you what you're doing to me..."



It's a statement rather than a question, so I don't bother to answer that.



Instead I say, "Not quite the same techniques, believe me. I don't think his methods would work on you. You don't mind fighting or taking a beating. I liked fighting, but I didn't like to take a beating..."



I see something flash in her eyes before she can control it. I so desperately want to question it, but I'm worried she'll run away at my inquisition. Instead of asking, I file it away for a later time and hope that the opportunity presents itself again soon. She took a beating, I can see that now. Maybe it was her dad. Maybe that's why she hates him so much and why she actually killed him. I won't ever truly know until I ask her, but that's definitely not a subject for today.



I kick Star's sides gently and encourage her to walk on. Ariya follows my lead and we silently walk for a few minutes.



As we're walking along the fence line, checking for breaks, I realize that I never spoke to Ariya about that night in the back barn with the poachers.



"Hey, Ariya?"



I must snap her out of her thoughts because her voice sounds distant when she replies, "Hmmm?"



"That night the poachers got into the barn; did they hurt you?"



She eyes me closely and I see a smirk cross her features.



"Why? You worried about me suing you for it?"



"No. I don't think you'd do that."



"So you feel guilty then?"



"Of course I do. I never wanted anyone to hurt you. But you're avoiding the question and that isn't filling me with hope. Did they hurt you?"



I see a twinkle in her eyes as she purses her lips together. She's toying with me and while I want to be annoyed at her lack of response, I'm also appreciating the humor she's expressing right now.



"Are you worried? Annoyed that you couldn't go all cave man and swing from your Marine branches and save little old me?"



Is she kidding me right now? She's got to be playing with me. It almost seems borderline flirting but Ariya isn't like that at all. I bite back my initial response, which would be to continue where this is going, and simply say, "You called me a Marine.... You finally remembered then?"



She chuckles, "You've repeated it enough. You're beginning to sound like a parrot."



As much as I hate to ruin the freer air that's surrounding us, I remind her, "You still haven't answered my question. Did they hurt you?"



She scoffs, "Not a chance. I won't let anyone hurt me."



She spurs Splash on to jog away from me and I watch them go. I'm not stupid. I know there's an unspoken ending to her last sentence. She won't let anyone hurt her anymore. That's what she was really saying. I can read between the lines. Idon't know if Ariya realizes it, but she is letting her walls down ever so slightly. She's actually letting information slip which means we could make some real progress. I hope, for her sake, that we can talk through whatever is hurting her so she can be the best version of herself.





I jog after the horse and rider and contemplate my strategy for dealing with this whole situation. It might be fine for now, but when we get back to the ranch and she has to spend time around Palmer, that might be a whole different story. Positive thinking and everything. I'll make this work. I don't know how, but I will.