Chapter Six

I jump awake and glance at the clock that's on the bedside table. It's 3:26am. I wasn't asleep for long, the last time I looked at the clock it read 3am. It was long enough to shake me, so I jump out of bed and start doing some sit ups and press ups. I need to stay fit as much as possible, especially if I plan on fighting at any point. I need to get to a pay phone. I need to make that call, but I can't do it from here. They'll trace the call or whatever these guys do.

After completing my whole exercise regime for the second time I quickly shower and change into a t shirt and jeans. I put my biker boots back on and wait for Justin to open the door. I'm sitting on the edge of the bed, watching the minutes change on the clock, when the door opens at 5am sharp. Literally the digital timer just changed from 4:59 to 5:00. I guess that's the rigidity of the Marines or whatever.

Justin glances at me with a strange look on his face before muttering a greeting. I don't reply, I just nod in acknowledgement.

“Did you sleep ok?”

“Fine.”

I see his eyebrows furrow but then he nods and motions for me to step out of the room. He's actually serious about me being within his reach at all times. Where does he think I'm going to go? We're in the middle of nowhere. I don't even know where or what the nearest town is and it's not like I'm going to get anywhere in a hurry, considering I'll be on foot. Maybe he's more concerned about the damage I might cause. To be honest, I'd actually really like to take this guy on. With his training, he'd be an awesome opponent. It might give me some tips on where I can brush up on my techniques.

I can feel my stomach churn at the smell of food cooking. There's so many wonderful smells and I so want to eat the food, but I don't want to give him the satisfaction of having one over on me. I at least want to show some resistance. I know I'll have to eat eventually, but I want to show him just how strong I really am. As we walk into the kitchen, there's another girl and 2 guys sitting at the breakfast bar. I stop walking, so I can watch them for a minute, trying to get a read on them.

The girl looks quiet and pretty shy, so I don't see her being a problem. One of the guys looks like a typical jock, arrogant and annoying. I can see him being a problem. The other guy looks a little more quiet, but not in a shy way. Like he's confident in himself, but not in a cocky way. He's a little older than the other 2 and muscular, so if I was to hazard a guess, I'd say he's in the armed forces as well.

“Guys, this is Arya. She'll be staying here for a little while. Ayra, this is Louise, Todd and Mike.”

The 2 guys send me a little wave when Justin says their names. Todd is the cocky one and the slimy grin he sends me instantly causes my dislike for him. Mike just sends me a small smile and gets back to his food. Justin shows me to a seat next to Louise and opposite the boys. He sits next to me, like he's worried I'm going to run. It's almost like being in social care or in a juvenile detention centre. Great stuff. I told you jail was a better option. At least there, I could get into fights and then be thrown into solitary confinement.

Justin hands me a plate with food already dished on it. I just stare at the full plate and resist the urge to take anything. I don't want to give in just yet. Yes, I'm proud and bull headed, I know this about myself. But giving in is a sign of weakness, something that's very important for me not to do. I do, however, take the cup of black coffee and hold it in one of my hands.

Todd is the first to speak, “So, why are you here? What did you do?”

I just stare at him. Maybe if I ignore him, he'll vanish or something. His accent is not the same as Justin's, so I'm assuming he's not from the 'deep south'.

Because I don't answer that question, Todd says, “Ok, so you don't want to answer that. How about, where are you from?”

Nothing.

“How old are you?”

Still nothing.

Mike speaks up, “Really Todd? Can't you let the girl at least eat her breakfast before the questions start?”

Louise seems to take confidence from Mike's words, so she pipes in, “Yeah, Todd. Just let her eat.”

“I'm just saying what you guys are thinking. I know you want to know as well. So, what did you do?”

When I don't answer, he continues, “I got caught robbing a convenience store. Shouldn't have trusted the guy who told me there were no cameras.”

I can't resist commenting on that, “Well, you're dumber than I thought.”

Mike snorts and Louise stifles a giggle.

Todd's face turns red and I can see the anger in his eyes. Score one for me. My signature smirk is on my face. Todd doesn't want to lose this battle, so he thinks he'll win by saying, “If you weren't so hot I'd take offense to that. I can drown out your words just by looking at your smoking body...”

I stay calm and neutral, even though I want to ram my fist into his face. “Really? That's so original.”

I down my coffee and stand up. “I'm done.”

Justin has been silent throughout this whole exchange. Probably to let us find the pecking order so to speak. But he does speak up now, “You're not going to eat?”

“Nope. Not hungry.”

“You're going to need the energy for the work we have to do today.”

“I'll survive.”

He knows nothing about me. I've had fights on a stomach that hasn't seen food for days. I'm sure I can survive a few more days of whatever he has in store for me.

He sighs, “You can either sit here, or sit on the couch in the living room. Do not leave my sight or we will have problems. Understood?”

“Sure.”

I walk to the back of the living room and stare out of the glass panels as I listen to them continue talking.

Mike asks, “So, what's happening today?”

There's a slight pause before Justin responds. I'm guessing he was chewing his food.

“I've gotta go into town to pick up some feed and groceries. I'll have to take Arya with me. You guys can get the horses in, their stalls should be all ready. It's gonna be a hot one today, so I want them out of the sun. Mike, you and Louise can work some of the horses. When we get back from town, Todd, Arya and myself will start offloading the hay into the barn. Todd, you can do fence check and count the herd while I'm gone. Take the dogs with you. We'll set out other chores after lunch.”

There's a round of 'yes sirs', which makes me roll my eyes. Are these guys for real? This has all got to be a joke, right? No one really lives like this, do they? All submissive and respectful. Certainly not in my experience anyways. If Justin and I are going into town, maybe I can find a phone and make a call. I just need 30 seconds or so to get the information I need. But I need to find out exactly where I am first. There's bound to be a sign going into the town, right? I know this place is called 'The Silver Bullet Ranch'. I saw it above the gate on the way in yesterday. I just have to find a way to lose Justin for a minute or 2 when we get into town. That's probably going to be a difficult task, seeing as his eyes are trained on me constantly.

At 5:30, Louise, Todd and Mike head for the barn and Justin shows me to his truck. “If I could trust you, I'd leave you here, but you have to build that trust first. Get in.”

I climb into the truck, thinking of ways I can lose him in the town. We drive for about 30 minutes before I see a sign welcoming us to Baskins Creek. Well, at least I know roughly where I am. Now, the word 'town' that Justin used was a very loose term. There's like a grocery store with a gas station, some form of animal store a few motels and a diner. Yeah, that's so not a town. Especially after being in New York. They do have a phone though and the sight of it nearly makes me smile. I don't smile though. I don't want Justin to think I'm up to something, so I keep my face blank. The journey has been made in silence, but that doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Justin pulls up outside the animal store first. The phone is just sitting outside of the store, so I try to slow my pace down, dragging my heels and making it look like I don't want to go inside the store.

“Come on, Arya. Get a move on.”

“Can't I stay outside?”

“Seriously?”

“I'm not going anywhere. How am I going to leave? On foot? I'll get like a mile before you catch up with me. You can even cuff me to that post over there. I don't care.”

He eyes me suspiciously and asks, “You really don't want to go into the feed store?”

“Allergies...”

I don't think he believes my little fib, so I try to make myself look innocent as I say, “You'll have to give me a shot if my face swells up. I'll look like the Nutty Professor. Surely that's an infringement on my human rights...”

I'm not sure he believes me, but at the risk of it being true, he gives in.

“I'm cuffing you to the post though. I don't trust you and I still think you're up to something. I'll keep checking on you so I'll know if you've moved.”

“I told you, I'm not going anywhere. I might be a lot of things, but I'm not a liar.” I chuckle, and continue, “And I'm a lot of things, believe me.”

“I've read your file. I know what they say about you.”

“Good to know. At least you know my life story. It means you won't be asking me about it.”

He cuffs me to the post right next to the phone and I congratulate myself on my genius idea. When he goes into the store, I wait a minute or 2 before picking up the receiver, hoping there's actually a dial tone on the other end. At least something is working in my favor as I hear the tone. I make a collect call and when the person on the other end groggily answers, “Yeah?”

“D, it's me. You awake?”

“I wasn't. What are you doing calling at... 7am?”

“I got sent to Tennessee. Don't ask. I don't have time. I just need to know if you know of anything near Baskins Creek in Tennessee.”

“Seriously A? You're asking about fights after you've been caught fighting? Are you actually insane? No, don't answer that. I think I know the answer.”

“Shut up, D. Just tell me if you have anything near here. I don't even care if it's a half hour run from here. Just tell me there's something.”

I can hear him shuffling things probably looking through his paperwork.

“Sorry, nothing nearby. Nashville, yes, but not anywhere near you. You're like out in the wild there...”

“You don't have to tell me. If you don't hear from me soon, it's coz I've killed someone.”

“So you won't make the big fight? I had a lot of money riding on you.”

“Nope. I gotta go. Make something happen or I'm gonna go crazy.”

“I'll see what I can do. Just don't lose your cool.”

“I'll try not to.”

I quickly hang up and wait for Justin to get back. He looks surprised to see me casually leaning against the post when he comes out of the feed store.

“I thought you'd have found a way to run. You seem like a resourceful girl.”

“I told you, I'm not a liar. If I said I'd stay, then I will.”

“That remains to be seen. I think you're clever. I think you think if you play the game, then I'll let my guard down and you'll be able to slip away.”

“Dude, you think too much.”

“You do realize it's not going to happen, right? I've been trained to keep my guard up constantly, so you're not going to get one over on me.”

“Who said I was even trying? Oh yeah, that was you. And you said I have trust issues. Not a very good shrink, are you? Although, a lot of people who are in that kind of profession, just want to psychoanalyze themselves, but whatever...”

He chuckles, “You really think you've got everyone figured out, don't you? You can help lift the feed into the back of the truck. We've got 20 bags to take.”

He takes my cuffs off and I notice how wearing them doesn't feel uncomfortable any more. It almost feels natural to wear the bracelets after so many years. I make a start on lifting the bags of feed, not giving Justin any reason to doubt my strength or stamina. We fill the bed of the truck in no time and then we move to the grocery store. Before we head inside, he asks, “No allergies this time?”

“Nope. I'm all good, well, that's debatable, but whatever.”

He chuckles again. The guy actually finds me funny. There's not many people who appreciate my sense of humor. Maybe I should have been a Marine. They might understand me a bit better than others.

“You really do paint yourself as quite the bad one. You sure that's a correct image to portray of yourself?”

“Ooo, look at you using big words. Maybe you can actually read. Here's me thinking all men were dumb...”

He frowns at first, but then quickly covers his expression. I like the fact that he let that slip. It means I'm getting to him. It's only a matter of time before he snaps, just like everyone else.

“Not everyone is dumb, Arya. You really have got a warped view of the world.”

“Sure I have. I think you need to open your eyes a bit more, man.”

I step into the store and he follows, not too pleased at me by the sounds of his muttering. I smirk and throw a small chuckle out there. Score another point for me. Ok, so maybe half a point, because it's not a full reaction. Yes, I am a bad person, but I don't really care. I told you, this is my game and I enjoy playing it. I enjoy being the one with the power.

On the trip back to the ranch, Justin looks over at me and says, “So, I heard you in the night.”

He's looking for a reaction, so I don't take the bait. I fake confusion, “Heard me?”

“Yeah. You said you slept fine, but I heard you walking around and talking to yourself.”

“You sure you weren't dreaming?”

“Nope, definitely not dreaming. I'm a really light sleeper.”

“Good to know.”

“You're not going to offer any explanation?”

“Nope.”

I really want to hit something right now. I don't even know where these sudden urges come from. Nothing has particularly riled me up, but the anger has just been simmering below the surface since I got arrested and it keeps nearing boiling point every so often. I try to put a damper on it for now. I can't lose my cool right now; not while I'm in the truck with Justin. There's no one else to blame an explosion on and I won't be the one to take the fall for something, not if I can help it.

Nothing else is spoken for the journey home and as soon as we pull up at the barn I jump out. I don't even wait for the truck to stop properly. Todd is on his way into the barn, on a horse and he asks, “Nice little trip out?”

“Seeing you has just ruined it.”

“Well, aren't you just a ray of sunshine.”

Justin saves Todd from my response by saying, “Arya, you're with me unloading this lot. Todd, take the groceries to the kitchen and put them away.”

I grab a bag of feed and follow Justin into the barn. He explains that the feed needs to be brought into the feed shed and stored in metal bins so the rodents can't get to it. Todd appears as we're finishing so Justin says, “Let's just unload the hay now. Louise is making lunch.”

We work in silence for a while, well, not for lack of Todd trying to talk to me. Twenty minutes in and we're nearly a quarter way through the hay load. We're taking it off the trailer that's attached to the tractor and then carrying it into a closed section of the barn, away from where the horses live. It's actually not bad work. I enjoy the physical side of it because it helps to keep my anger at least a little below the surface.

As I'm coming back to the tractor for a bale of hay, Todd passes me and says, “So, New York, huh? That accent is hot. I'm betting its a Brooklyn accent.”

I don't reply, so he reaches to touch my shoulder as he says, “Why the cold shoulder, baby?”

I grab his arm and throw him against the side of the tractor. I land a few punches to his face and upper body before I'm ripped away from him, my arms pinned behind my back. I thrash around, trying to get loose. I'm literally foaming at the mouth as I hiss and spit. I really want to get loose and rip his face off. I shout, “You touch me and I'll rip your hands off and shove them down your throat you piece of filthy scum!”

Justin drags me away from the barn and pins me against the other side of the barn wall. “What the heck is your problem?!”

“Let me at him and I'll show you what my problem is...”

“That's the whole reason why you're here. You need to calm down, Arya...”

“I need to smash his face in...”

“No, you think you need to smash his face in, but you really do need to calm down. You want to hit someone, you try hitting me...”

“Don't tempt me... I want to hurt him...”

“You don't even know him...”

“I know enough...”

“What the heck just happened, Arya?!”

His voice is low, almost like a growl. He means business. He wants to know.

“How on earth did that escalate so quickly?! Huh?!”

I shove at chest really hard and manage to move him just enough for me to slip out of his grip. I don't know if that was my strength or the fact that he let me move him. I don't really care to be honest.

“You know what? Forget it. Just forget it. You're all the same. You'll stick together no matter what, so whatever...”

As I turn to walk away, Justin reaches for my arm. I snatch it back quickly and snap, “You touch me and you will die...”

My voice is level, but there's fire in my eyes, betraying the rage that I really do feel right now. I don't even care that he's seen me angry. All I want to do right now is hurt someone. I grind out, “I'm going for a walk. I'm not running away, I'm just going for a walk. You can watch me for all I care, just don't follow me.”

His eyes widen in shock and I take that opportunity to start walking. I storm off through one of the fields and I find a tree. I'm so furious right now. I haven't gone this long without a fight in a very long time and there is a good reason why. I can't control my anger, I think you've figured this out by now. I'm fine until it gets to boiling point and if I don't hit someone or something, then I'll explode at anything. And trust me, it's never a pretty sight. That's why I called D. I need him to find me someone who is willing to get their face pounded and at least fight back a little bit.

I lean against the tree, trying to steady my breathing but it's not working. There's just too much rage built up in me and I need to release it, so I just start punching the tree. I don't care that it's going to ruin my hands. I don't even feel the pain as the bark rips through my skin. I just feel a little bit of anger leave my body with each hit. It's my therapy. It's the only way I know how to cope and I'm not going to let anyone take that away from me. I won't let them stop me from finding some form of peace the only way I know how.

After beating the snot out of the tree and calming myself down a bit, I head back to the barn. Mike is now helping Todd and Justin, but I don't acknowledge them. I can't even look at Todd at the moment. The anger is still too fresh and it'll spark my rage all over again. Now, if I'd have really hurt Todd, then I could carry on like everything was normal. I know it makes no sense to you, but in my world, it's completely logical. The only way I can describe it is like this: When someone makes me angry, if I can take the anger out on them specifically, then it's like my rage goes down to an acceptable level. I don't think I'm ever at a normal level, I've got too much anger already built into me for that. If you had my background, then maybe you'd appreciate where I'm coming from. I won't tell you my sob story right now, but safe to say I've got a lot to be angry about.

As I walk passed the guys, I hear someone whistle and then Mike's voice, “Whoa, dude, what happened to your hands...”

I just carry on walking. I'm not interested in making friends. I don't even care about 'doing this the hard way'. If the great state of New York is determined to have me here, then I just want to get through it and get away from here. Maybe it's time to leave New York and find another home. Maybe I'll go somewhere that has a better underground fighting scene. D will know the best place to head.

I walk through the kitchen and hear Louise say, “Hey Arya, lunch isn't ready... What's wrong? What happened to you?...”

I hear the fear and panic in her voice as she questions, “Justin?”

Great, he's followed me. Just what I need. The shrink has come to try and get inside my mind.

“Hey Lou. Go take the boys some iced tea. Give us a few minutes...”

“Yes sir.”

Is she for real? What's she here for? A backbone? I mean, come on, I've only known her half a day and even I want to smack some spine into the girl. Geez!

I make my way to my room and head to the bathroom to clean my hands. They sting, but I've had worse. The pain helps to keep me grounded. It keeps me in the real world; it makes me remember. As I fill the sink with warm soapy water, Justin appears at my side.

I hear the smirk in his voice as he asks, “Are you still going to kill me if I touch you? Or have you calmed down a bit now?”

I just stare at him. My stare isn't even filled with anger or anything, really. It's just a blank look, almost a board glance.

“What did that poor tree ever do to you?”

Even better, he actually did watch me. I should have known. I did tell him I wouldn't run, but my word isn't trustworthy. I've broken the law so many times, but I've never lied about it. If I'm guilty, then I'll admit it. Although, I was telling Palmer the truth when I said I've never hit anyone who didn't deserve it. Well, except the underground stuff, but they signed up for that so it doesn't count.

“I didn't run. I told you I wouldn't.”

“I think you had other things on your mind. Had you been more level headed, then I think you would have thought about it. Let me take a look...”

I deliberately submerge my hands in the water so he can't see them. I make sure not to flinch when the soapy water hits the cuts. I welcome the pain, trying to disperse the last bits of anger sitting near the surface.

“Why don't you just let me take a look?”

“Why don't you just stop pretending to care?”

“Who says I'm pretending? You're under my care now, so of course I want to make sure you're ok...”

“Yeah, well, I'm fine. Thanks for your concern. I'll go back to work in a minute, but I'm not working with him. I'm warning you, if he makes another wrong move, I will smash his face in and even you won't be able to stop me.”

I think he's shocked at the cold, hard tone in my voice. There's nothing out of control about my statement. Everything in me means what I said, and he knows it.

“You can chop firewood.”

“Fine. Even though it's the middle of summer. As long as I'm on my own, I don't care.”

“You'll work with Mike. And you'll be nicer to Louise. If I have to warn you again about that, you'll regret it.”

“You promise?” Yep, my smirk is back again. It can't stay away for long.

“You are unbelievable...”

“That's what he said. You can find out if you want, although it might break some form of rules the government have with you. I'm game if you are though...”

I can tell he wasn't expecting that kind of proposition, even if he keeps his featured steeled. I chuckle at him.

“Dude, your face. Classic. You need to get a girlfriend or something. Although, you need to go to her place if my room is next to your's. I don't want to be hearing that next door, thanks.”

“And girls say guys have a one track mind?”

“And your point is?”

I think I've left him somewhat speechless because he doesn't even have a come back for that. He simply says, “Hurry up and clean up. I'll wait outside your room. That's the last time I let you get away with something like that.”

I chuckle as he leaves the bathroom. I actually want to chop the wood. It might help me to relax a little. I just hope Mike doesn't ruin the moment of solitude I'll have. Thankfully, Mike pretty much keeps his mouth shut as I chop the firewood. I make a massive stack of spare kindling. I love the power and the feeling of hitting that piece of tree with the axe. It's very therapeutic, but I'll never tell anyone I said that.

I don't bother eating lunch, I just get a glass of water and stand by the glass wall at the back of the house. I don't want to be at the same table as Todd, so I skip dinner as well. Justin locks me in my room at 9pm, reminding me breakfast is at '0500 hours', his words, not mine.



I manage to get nearly 2 hours sleep before the need to check my surroundings overwhelms me and I jump awake. I don't feel as tired now, so I wrap my hands in some rolled up socks, my makeshift boxing gloves, and I start punching the wall. I make sure it's not the wall that joins on to Justin's. I might not be the brightest spark, but I'm not that dumb.