Chapter Nine



A month has passed and I hate this place more now than when I first arrived. Justin seems to think I want a friend, which I don't by the way. Todd is grating on my very last nerve and I've literally chopped all the trees that the environment can cope with. Aside from a few quick punches, I've mostly been kept away from Todd. Mike has been trying to befriend me, but I haven't exactly been reciprocating. Although, he usually catches me when I'm fighting back the red haze so my responses haven't exactly been nice.

Louise has tried to stay away from me. I think she's afraid of what my reaction will be, can't say I blame her to be honest. I really really need a release. I need to smash someone's face in and with the way Justin and Mike are watching me, I doubt I'll be getting to Todd any time soon.

My luck seems to change that Thursday morning. I'm cleaning one of the stalls and Justin calls out, “Ariya, hurry up and finish that. We're making a feed and grocery run. You have 5 minutes.”

I whisper to myself, “Sweet...”

I rush to finish the stall and head to the truck. Just like before, I fake allergies at the feed store and Justin cuffs me to the post outside the store. I wait for him to walk into the store before picking up the phone.

“Hey D, I don't have long. What have you got?”

“A! I've been waiting for your call. Right, I've sorted something for a field to the east of where you're staying. It's just outside the boundary of that ranch, so it'll take you about 40 minutes to jog there. I need 2 days to get people organized though, so it'll be Saturday night. Can you get there?”

“I'll make sure I do. Make sure it's a good one, man. I don't wanna knock him out in the first minute. I'm about ready to explode, D.”

“It is a good one, trust me. It's done as a favor though, so there won't be any winnings.”

“Since when have I cared about that? Just set it up for midnight and I'll be there. Gotta go. Thanks D.”

“Welcome. Be careful, A.”

“Always.”

I hang up quickly and wait quietly for Justin. Some guy walks passed and stops in front of me. In his Southern drawl he asks, “What's a pretty lady like you doing cuffed to a hitchin' post?”

“I'm a danger to society...”

He chuckles, “Really? More like a danger to men. With looks like that, I can see why...”

“Seriously? Do they not have better pick up lines out in the backwards country?”

“Don't need 'em. We make up for it in other ways, if you know what I mean...”

He wiggles his eyebrows at me and I scoff at him.

“You're all the same. Do girls seriously fall for that trash?”

“I've had no complaints...”

“Have they all been deaf, dumb, blind and stupid?”

He takes a step closer to me, and judging by the look in his eyes, he's offended by my comment.

“Hey! That's no way to talk about people...”

“It's called freedom of speech. I can say whatever I want.”

He steps right into my face and hisses, “You're lucky your looks make up for what your personality lacks. If you'd shut your mouth, I could show you a good time...”

He runs his fingers down my face and then my side.

I grit out, “I'll show you a good time...”

I slam my free fist into his face and watch him step back and double over in pain. He spouts off a few curses, while holding his bleeding nose.

“You touched the wrong chick, dude. Keep your hands to yourself next time...”

Justin rushes out of the store shouting at me.

“What the heck did you do, Ariya?! I left you out here for 5 minutes and you punch someone?! Seriously?!”

“What?! He touched me inappropriately! If you didn't have me cuffed here, I could have come and got you. But I was stuck here and he touched me...”

Justin sends me a fiery look and asks, “Are you kidding me? Out of all the odds, you're telling me the only person to walk passed you just happened to touch you?”

“Yes! I told you, I don't lie. I've never hit someone who didn't deserve it.”

“And you didn't encourage him?”

“What? No, of course not. Since when have I ever encouraged that kind of behavior?”

He mulls my words over for a few seconds and the guy I hit is groaning and trying to stem the blood flow.

“I'm bleedin' over here...”

“Did you touch her? John, answer the question. Did you touch her?”

“She was asking for it...”

I see red and make a move towards him, except I'm stopped by the stupid handcuffs.

“Let me at him! I'll make him tell you the truth...”

Justin lets out a deep breath and sends me a very stern look. Ordinarily I'd find that funny, but right now I just want to punch this John guy again.

“John, tell me the truth. I'm not going to ask again. Did you take advantage of the fact she was cuffed here?”

“She insulted the girls I've been with...”

“I'll take that as a yes then. Get out of here and get your nose looked at. Stay away from this one, she's a real firecracker...”

John scurries off and I growl at Justin, “Is that it? You're not going to beat him for treating me that way?”

“I think you did that adequately enough yourself...”

“Geez, chivalry obviously is dead. Ain't no defending a woman's honor in these parts. Gosh...”

Despite the situation, Justin laughs. “Are you for real right now? Do you really want a guy to 'defend your honor'? Not being funny, but you seem like the kind of girl who would beat on a guy for doing something like that. You're telling me you wouldn't be offended at such a gesture?”

“Let's convene again after that actually happens.”

“You mean no one has actually ever defended you?”

“I didn't say that, did I? Stop trying to use your shrink psycho babble on me. It's not going to work. Let's just get out of this awful place.”

“You're a puzzle, Miss Flynn, but I think I'm finding a few new pieces.”

“Whatever. Uncuff me.”

“What, you're not gonna say please?”

I clench my teeth and say, “Uncuff me... please...”

“That wasn't so hard, was it?”

“That's definitely not what he said...”

Justin laughs, “I knew you'd say that. Let's do the grocery shopping now.”

He makes a move to throw an arm over my shoulders, so I side step and say, “You touch me, I will hurt you.”

He looks shocked for a second or so and then he quietly asks, “Someone sure did a number on you, didn't they?”

I shoot him a side glance and ask, “Really? That's where you're going? Not that the creepy guy just felt me up or the fact that I actually don't like you and don't want you to touch me?”

“Somehow, I don't think that guy actually creeped you out as much as you're making out. Plus, you do like me. You just don't want to admit it to yourself yet. Everyone likes me...”

“Now who has the mental issues? You over compensating for something by telling yourself that?”

“Nope. I'm just a lovable guy. People can't help it.”

“Yeah? Well, I'm immune. I don't like any of you. The sooner you come to terms with that, the better life will be for all of us.”

I keep the distance between us, so he doesn't get any ideas about touching me and the rest of our mission and journey are filled with silence.

I keep telling myself I only have to make it through two more days before I can get rid of this ball of rage burning within me. Just two more days.

I make sure to eat all the meals set in front of me so I can keep my energy levels up and I drink lots of water, so I'm not dehydrated. I train through Thursday and Friday night, but get as much rest as my mind and body will let me. I just have to figure out how to get out of the house and then I'm all set. I think I can pick the lock on the bedroom window, but I need a hair pin or something to do that.

At lunch on Saturday, I 'accidentally' bump into Louise and use my old pick pocket skills to grab a pin from her hair. I make sure to apologize for bumping into her, pretending that it actually was an accident. Everyone stares at me like I've grown another head, so I smirk and say, “Didn't think I could apologize? First time for everything, huh? Next time I'll just push her out of the way, yeah?”

“Ariya, you and Lou are on washing up.”

“You're letting me out of your sight? Sure you can trust me with that? I might snap her head off or something...”

“You won't. If you value what little freedom you have here, you'll behave yourself. I'll make your life a misery otherwise...”

I chuckle, “Is that a promise?”

“Trust me, you don't want to find out...”

“Sure about that? I like it tough.”

Todd snorts and I see Louise turn a deep shade of red. She's so embarrassed right now and I can't resist yanking her chain even more.

“I don't think your girlfriend over here would approve though. She seems like she'd be the jealous type...”

There's a mixture of reactions to my comment and I'm watching all of them. Todd outright laughs, I think Louise might actually die of embarrassment, Mike is about ready to smack me, and Justin looks indifferent, almost like he knows what I'm doing.

Mike is the first to speak, “You talk about her like that again and I'll take you outside myself...”

“Bring it, soldier boy. I can take you. So, is she your girlfriend then?”

My eyes are sparkling with amusement and by the look on Mike's face I can see she's not his girlfriend, but he does want her to be.

“Ah, not yet. Keep working on that, huh? Now it's out in the open, you might actually have a shot.”

Justin growls, “Enough Ariya. Stop being so nasty...”

I throw my hands up and shout, “Finally! Now you come around to the truth of it.”

My eyes are icy cold when I stare straight at Justin. I'm a nasty piece of work. Partly by choice and partly by necessity.

“I'll do the freakin' dishes on my own.”

“No, you'll do the dishes with Lou. That's what I told you to do, so that's what you're gonna do. Don't test me, Miss Flynn.”

“You keep threatening, but I've yet to see what that actually means.”

“Last warning. I'm giving you one final chance. You step over the line again and you're done. Trust me on that.”

“I don't trust anyone.”

Louise is silent as we do the dishes. We're almost finished when she whispers, “Justin is my brother's best friend. He's studying abroad so Justin is watching out for me.”

I shrug, “I don't need to know any of your sob stories and I don't need to like any of you. I am what I am. I'm not gonna pretend otherwise. You leave me alone and I'll leave you alone. Simple really.”

I walk out to the barn and Justin gives me some chores to do. The first job is to push back the huge pile of muck that's been taken out of the horses stalls. It's a stinky job, but I've smelled worse, trust me. Now, human filth is just nasty. On the streets you don't have the luxury of toilets, so sometimes you have to go in the corner on the street. That's just the way it is. When picking your sleeping area, you have to make sure you don't camp where people have taken a dump. Told you it was nasty.

Now, you're probably wondering why I hate this place so much if the streets are so bad. There are some things that are great about this place, don't get me wrong. I like being able to have a shower every night, having a toilet I can use whenever I want, clean clothes and having food readily available. But I hate not having freedom. I hate not being able to release my anger and I hate not being in familiar surroundings. The streets are what I've known since I was 17 years old. Well, younger if you count the nights I ran away from various homes.

As I'm shoveling the poo, I overhear Justin say, “You gotta just ignore what she says, Mike. You should know that already. She's just angry and scared. She's got so much anger stored up inside her and that's not just going to disappear overnight. I'll get through to her, you just have to rise above it for now. Don't take the bait, even if it is about Lou.”

“How can you stay so calm all the time?”

“That's why I'm the commanding officer. Years of training. I'm gonna sit her on a horse today, see if that brings her down a few pegs...”

He's talking about putting me on a horse? Dude, that's just insane. I can't be trusted with humans, so how on earth does he think I can be trusted with an animal? I can't say that I'm fond of the idea of getting on a horse, but I'm not a coward and I won't show any form of fear. I'll take the challenge and beat him at his game.

After I've shoveled all of the poo, Justin shows me how to groom a horse. He's standing in the stall with a brown and white splotchy horse, appropriately named Splash. I'm waiting in the doorway of the stable, not really sure about stepping into such a small space with Justin and a big horse. As I linger in the doorway, Justin smirks at me and says, “Get in here. He's not going to hurt you.”

“Not what I was thinking.”

I actually wan't thinking about that. I was thinking the space in that stall isn't really big enough for the 3 of us, but whatever. I step into the stall and Justin reaches for my wrist. I shoot him an icy glance and hiss, “You touch me...”

“You'll hurt me. I get it. Just come and stand over here. You need to brush him in the direction that his fur grows. Grab that soft brush and give it a go.”

I grab the brush and walk over to the horse. I refuse to show any signs of fear and weakness. That's not who I am. I will win this game, no matter what. As I brush Splash, he snorts, making me jump a little.

“He likes you. I don't know why, but he does.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Hey, you said it yourself; no one likes you. I thought you didn't care...”

“Isn't it the socially acceptable thing to be offended when someone else says it?”

“Like you care about socially acceptable things?”

“Good point.”

“If you brush him like this....”

“What are you doing?!”

As Justin was explaining how to brush Splash, he steps behind me and reaches for my wrist. Of course, I move away from him quickly and eye him suspiciously as I turn to face him. I don't like people standing behind me and I don't like not being able to see what's going on around me.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you...”

“You didn't.”

“Right. That's the second time that has happened. Want to talk about it?”

“Nope.”

“Seriously, Ariya? You're gonna just brush it off again?”

“I don't know you, I don't like you and I'm certainly not going to befriend you. I don't need to tell you my life story and you don't need to know it...”

“Actually, I think you do need to share something. I think whatever has happened is eating at you and you don't know how to deal with it anymore. You need to talk it out before it consumes you...”

“Just because I don't like people standing behind me, it doesn't mean I need to talk about anything.”

“Why don't you like people standing behind you?”

I scoff at that. “Seriously? Did you not just hear anything I just said?”

“Did you not hear anything I just said?”

“Just don't stand behind me. Problem solved.”

“You can't just ignore the problem, Ariya.”

“There won't be a problem if you just stay away from me... Are we done?”

“No. You need to brush the other side and I need to show you how to saddle up...”

He knows this conversation is over and there's no way I'm going to let him pry into my life. We brush and saddle up in silence pretty much. The only conversation is him telling me how things are done. I don't even ask questions. Justin leads Splash into the pen, which he calls the round pen, and then he stands the horse still and he drops the reins.

I frown and ask, “Won't he just walk away?”

“Nope. He knows as soon as the reins are dropped he needs to stand still. He won't move. So, you need to put your left hand on this horn right here and your right hand on the back of the saddle. You put your left leg into this stirrup and then you pull yourself into the saddle.”

“You just pull yourself into the saddle? That doesn't seem right...”

“And you're the expert, are you?”

“I didn't say that. It just seems illogical to pull when you can almost spring into the saddle...”

“I was trying to make it easier on you. Feel free to give it a go then...”

I grab the saddle like he said and as I put my left foot into the stirrup, I turn to him and say, “Don't stand behind me...”

“I'm not gonna let you get hurt, so if I have to stand behind you, then I will.”

As I bounce on my right leg, I mutter, “I'd rather get hurt...”

I lift myself into the saddle, not particularly elegantly, but I didn't fall off the other side and I didn't make a complete fool of myself. Always good signs, I guess.

As I sit up, Justin places my right foot in the other stirrup and I mutter, “Always with the touching... Seriously?”

He chuckles, but I don't hear humor in the laugh. Thankfully, he doesn't comment on it any further, although his chuckle says more than words could.

He leads Splash around the pen and I notice the others have come out to watch. Probably to see me fail or fall. “Relax, Ariya. The horse can feel how tense you are and he'll react to it. They're sensitive creatures, which is why I'm wary of you being around them when you're angry...”

I chuckle, “Dude, I'm always angry...”

“Glad you find it funny. When they think you can't take care of them, they'll do it themselves. You need to stay calm and in control around them.”

I don't answer; I just focus on not falling and trying to stay balanced on the saddle. Justin only lets me stay on Splash for 15 minutes, but I don't fall and I don't do terrible. That's a nice bonus, especially seeing as everyone is waiting for me to fail. I jump off Splash with no help and Justin smiles at me. It's not a creepy smile and there seems to be no hidden agenda behind it. He genuinely seems happy with me right now. That thought makes me feel weird; I've never had that happen before.

I'm sure I frown at the gesture, but neither of us comment on it. He does grace me with a look of concern though, which I brush off and quickly walk back to the barn.

I hear Todd say, “She didn't fall or hurt herself. I was expecting Splash to rear or at least do something to show he hates her like everyone else...”

I ignore him completely. His words don't bother me, plus I'm still a bit confused about Justin's smile to even think about reacting to Todd's stupid comment. I won. I didn't fall off or fail so I've annoyed him without even trying. Sweet.

Thankfully, everyone pretty much leaves me alone for the rest of the evening and I ask Justin if I can turn in at 9pm. He seems shocked that I'm going to bed early, but he nods and follows me up the stairs.

As I'm walking into the room, he says, “Ariya? You did good today on Splash. He's really taken to you. I didn't expect that. You sure you're ok?”

“Yep.”

“If you want some company in the night or you just wanna talk, knock on the wall and I'll come in...”

I chuckle, “Is that a proposition?”

“What?! No! Do you really have a one track mind?”

“Obviously... Although, you're the first guy to ever complain about it...”

“I'm not like that, Ariya.”

“How boring. It might be fun...”

“Goodnight Miss Flynn.”

I chuckle as he shuts and locks the door, loving that I can get a reaction out of him. Even if he doesn't think he's reacting, I know he is. His deliberate coolness is all the reaction I need. I wait until I think he's gone downstairs and I try the window. It take me about 15 minutes to get the lock jimmied and then I just lay on the bed trying to get some rest. I need to keep my strength up and I need to wait until everyone has gone to bed. The routine is usually the same; everyone is in bed before 11pm, as the days start early. So fortunately that is on my side.



Just before 11, I slide the window open and wait a few minutes, to see if anyone hears. There's no sound in the house, so I quietly shimmy out the window and down the tree that's outside my room. Once I'm away from the house, I'm free and I take off for the field outside Justin's boundary. In the back of my mind, I do spare a tiny thought for what might happen if I get caught. But, the thought of what will happen if I don't get this anger out of my system is far more urgent and the need to deal with that takes over as I make my way to the fight.