A/N: Hi \(o.o)

been a while...

sorry...

work is in full swing...batting me over the head over and over

but here is an update :3

do not know when i will be able to update again but i'll try as best i can.

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Chapter Thirty-Six: Threads

Letting out a sigh, I look around the empty, dark room. How long have I been down here? Who knows. The pain meds that X has been slipping me has made it impossible for me to track time...plus being underground kinda makes it hard to tell anyway. But thanks to the hours and hours of sleep, the level of pain was relatively reasonable. Minus the headache that is my life right now and the thousand plus scars, scratches and bruises adding to the tally I've acquired over the years of running and screaming.

But the dreams...they got so bad that the mix of dream and reality did my head in and I was a screaming mess for the most of it. From what I can remember (which isn't much if I'm honest) X stayed close, never complaining or getting upset with me...he just patiently calmed and reassured me over and over, much to my embarrassment.

But the memory of it stuck. Anne and that bloody tree. Some times when I was able to reach out to her, she literally turned to ash, scattered to the breeze, leaving me alone in the dark. Other times, my hand went straight through like I was a ghost and she continued to dig. My gaze fell to my hands. Still the same; the left is still normal and human, but my right... still looked like I lobbed it off Satan and stuck it on. Pulling it closer to my face, I notice that the weird vine tattoos above my elbow seemed to have changed. Do they change every time I go 'funny'?

Thinking back on it, I also get funky demon eyes...

What the fuck am I?

'Dreamer is Dreamer. Dreamer is kind and gentle.'

I look up to see Lady staring at me in the doorway. I know she is trying to help but it wasn't an answer that my spiteful side wanted.

Her ears slightly tip back, probably at all the negativity I was spewing out in the dark corner I've put myself in. But she still walked towards me, not backward on hopping onto the bed and circle around me like a big blanket. Surprisingly, the bed held both our weights without a groan.

I'm sorry,' I manage to say back to her as she runs her head on my shoulder.

'Not place for us. This human territory is wrong. Smell is wrong. Feel is wrong. Everything is wrong.'

'Hate to break it to you but I am...-mostly human...' I think.

'Dreamer is Dreamer,' she repeats, her raspy tongue glides over the back of my neck and head. I jump at the spiny rough texture of her tongue. She let out an amused noise. ...Is she giggling at me? I could feel her saliva wetting the back of my head and it sent goosebumps down my spine. I pull away only for her to use her paw to pull me back and continue to lick through the hair on the back of my head.

"Ew, I can feel it all sticking up," I complain out loud, almost ready to give up and be the ragdoll toy that I knew she could easily make out of me.

X picks that moment to show up with more bottled water and some more pain meds. There's barely any room left on the bed but he still managed to sit down in front of me, completely impartial to the fact that I was sporting a new hairstyle with tiger drool. He just holds the bottle and packets up until I take them from him.

"How long am I going to be down here?" I ask while opening the silver packet, not even caring what he was feeding me. And for some reason, I have never felt any doubt and took it without hesitation.

"...A little longer," X vaguely replies.

I glower at him but drink down the water anyway. I look at the door, I'm starting to get cabin fever here. As I finish the bottle of water, X stands again, taking the empty packet and bottle from me and going out of the door once again.

This time, I gathered myself to stand and follow him out the door. I only had about fifteen minutes before the pain meds kicked in and knock me out cold again. Not moving a muscle properly for god knows how long, has left me shaky in the legs and I wobble towards the door, leaning on the wall. The door led onto a simple, stark kitchen with standard bare-minimum kitchen things; benchtops, fridge, stove and chairs. But in the doorway of the next darkened room there was a window that looked out into the dark and empty subway platform.

One of the lights outside was flickering like in one of those horror films before a demon came out and threw you onto the subway tracks to get hit by a ghost train.

"This was a station attendant's room...Siem has refurbished most of the infrastructure of the subway for it to suit the idea of living underground, as well as for training." X answers the question before I could even ask.

I manage to hobble over to the stool in front of a breakfast bar as X was busy looking through the fridge. "X..." I start, but not sure what I was wanting.

He peaks up at me before coming over with another bottle of water and busing himself with a microwave. But I knew he was still waiting for the continuation.

"...do you have any other name than 'X'?"

"If I did, I can no longer remember it...I don't remember much outside the Institute...Memories are fragile when it is tampered with. Pain. False. Empty. Perhaps it is for the best that I cannot remember anything from before. Family. Friends. What they were...their colour no longer dyes the threads that were cut. Barren cut threads. Can longer taint if they no longer exist. New threads. New colour now dye memories and influences my being."

...As always speaking in riddles, but I picked on at least the first half of it. I do want to understand him as much as I can but I feel like I am limited to how much of 'X' will share of himself...especially when he talks so roundabout. "What is the Institute?"

"IRS. Institute of Research and Society. They were heavily involved in biotechnological research. Their focus was on Miasma application on living systems. It then extending to producing weapons...as most research does."

"So...there are ten of you wondering around?"

"No," His voice was sharp but then softened, "From what I know, I am the only ones left of IRS. There were three...but things were compromised."

"It doesn't have anything to do with this 'Reed' person?" The name pops into my head.

"Yes. She was...an 'unfortunate' case, I think the term would best suit her situation. It hit a lot of people hard but I think Mist is still reeling from the psychological effect the most. Reed was almost a mother to her...and the betrayal was not something she saw coming. Neither did Reed to be honest."

I was biting down on the need to ask for details but something told me that X was not going to share any more than that.

The bastard seemed to have read my mind, "You will have to ask Siem or Mist for the actual details, Kae. I was not...present when the events took place. I only cleaned it up."

That sent a shiver down my spine. "Was it difficult?"

He watches me keenly for a moment, as if assessing my question. "...You mean was it difficult to dispose of another subject or if I had personal ties to Reed that made it difficult?"

"I don't know. Both." I feel Lady putting her head in my lap, wanting a pat and looking for a distraction, I complied.

"...She was built for assassination...and her abilities were based on mine as she was a later subject. But she lacked certain...survival instincts... As for personal...I could overlook any subjective feelings."

I feel like he's skipping over some details here but left it alone.

The microwave dings and he turns around to attend to it. He places a bowl of porridge in front of me and went to go get some milk, honey and a spoon. "You need to eat something. It's been almost twelve hours since your last meal."

I look at the porridge, unsure if I could stomach anything. But, I manage to put the milk and honey onto the rolled oats, stirring the mixture with the spoon before getting the courage to even bother having a bite. I didn't taste it. Instead, I was probably more put off by the novelty of using a microwave...food coming from packaging...it's not something I've properly experience in under a decade.

As the silence stretches on, I notice my eyelids getting heavy again and lifting the spoon began to feel like an effort.

"...You changed the medication," I mutter, dropping the spoon back into the almost finished bowl.

"...Your body is becoming resistant to the current drug. I apologise if it makes you angry."

I shake my head, half disagreeing, half shaking off the dizziness that was building. "I trust you, X."

Even though his facial features didn't exactly shift, I felt like he was relieved and happy...and perplexed at feeling happy.

"Is it so weird to feel happiness, X?"

"It is foreign to me. Yes. I do not remember..." he trailed off, I felt like he was unsure to continue. Whether it's because he can't remember or he didn't want to share, I mentally shrug, beats me.

I look back down to the bowl, "I think I need to lie down, again." I stop myself from pushing him. Instead, I get to my feet and head back to bed. Lady helping me every step of the way.

"Kae..." X calls after me. I stop, turning around, surprised to see him right in front of me. "I like it though."

My cheeks suddenly radiate like the sun. "I guess that's...good...?" what am I even saying?

X grabs the sides of my face, tilting my head slightly down as he presses his forehead to mine. "I...wonder if the colours will drown or smother...or fuse into something new..."

Ok.

X is seriously fucking confusing.

And my heart is smacking itself against my ribs. But I feel myself accepting it. Which just confuses me even more. As much as I'm trying to ignore this undercurrent, I know I've felt something for X since the moment I saw him back in those woods. Even when he was the enemy.

"Never the enemy," he whispers. "Never yours."

I almost grin, "I seem to remember that time in the woods differently." How long ago was it now?

"Not even then. Circumstances perhaps make my words doubtful but I promise you, I will never go against you."

"Why?" I find myself saying. What reason could he possibly have to do this? We don't know each other at all. What could I have possibly give back?

"Because a promise is a promise."

I felt like I've heard that somewhere before. A long dead memory fell like dust in my head, slipping away and I felt strangely agitated at the loss...I can't remember it at all.