Prologue - POV UNKNOWN

"Has she changed her mind about being adopted?" her mother - Mable Moor-Jaktur - asked her, I remained silent, able to hear the conversation even from my room, something no one knew yet, but there were a lot of things no one knew about me just yet. I was trapped here, in a place where I was alone. The secrets I carried too much, and it was now suffocating me.



"Mom," she chided, "Pat and I are giving her a choice, if she doesn't want me to adopt her, I'm not-"



"It's been years Sarah, that woman left that man, a good man alone with those kids. Just up and left, you are the only mother that child has ever known. Why you don't give her a good sitting down and lay out the rules is beyond me," the older woman interrupted, "in my days children listened to grown folk... And don't think her behavior isn't going to be a bigger problem later on, you've got to think of Amelia and Ben."



"All these years and the girl still calls you by your name, no respect!" the younger woman sighed loudly, "Mom... I can't force her too-"



"This is your house and you're still walking on eggshells here..." the older woman voice lowered, I knew she cared but Sara Lawson should be walking on eggshells in this house. In my mothers house.



"Mom... what do you want me to do? To say? Tell her that her mother abandoned her, was nothing but a flakey whore that probably road out of this town, this farm with another man, left her and Ben behind, didn't care enough like a mother should? It's the truth mom; this whole town knows what Norine did. One day, someone's going to give it to that child, spit it out like everything else around here and she'll hear it, but it won't be from me."



"So that's it, Ben calls you mom, Amelia calls your husband dad, but his daughter calls you by your name with no respect, doesn't listen to a thing you have to say, only listens to her father, bullies Amelia, treats her like dirt and she gets away with it all?" she scoffed.



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After hearing enough, I went and locked the door to my room, opened my locker safe and pulled out my tape player, putting the headphones on and listening one more time to the tape I've listened too for years, hiding and keeping this piece of information secret.



"You want to make a tape for daddy baby?" mom said with a smile in her voice, happy, and I can almost remember her brilliant smile, "Ya momma."



"Okay ready, lets sing for daddy... A - b - c - d - e - f - g - h - I - j - k..." and we continued until we were at Z, "Now I know my ABC's next time won't you sing with meeeeeeee! Do you like that daddy?" a younger me asked the recorder, giggling - happy.



"What else should we sing for daddy Bumblebee?"



"If wou're wappy an wou kwnow it cwap wour hwands!"



"If wou're wappy an wou kwnow it jwemp up and dwown!" we continued singing, doing it twice before mom stops abruptly, but I don't know why.



"Oh no... Oh god... how - how did they find me..." Mom mumbles the recorder still picking everything up.



"Come on Bumblebee you need to hide and be really quiet okay, no matter what you hear don't come out Bumblebee, you understand?" her voice frantic now.



The hand holding the recorder shakes as I listen to that day again, "I love you Bumbleebee okay, I love you to the moon and back you hear?"



"Yes momma," my voice young, placating.



"Pat - Pat I love you okay, don't think I don't - I'm sorry I thought - I thought I got away from them Pat, I thought I could have my happily ever after with you, I loved you Pat, you were everything I ever wanted and I didn't think I would ever get a chance at love. I love you deep in my heart, and my secrets, I kept them to protect you and the kids, don't forget that, tell them about me, love them, cherish them for the both of us you hear?" Mom's talking faster now.



"Ben - Ben I love you too, I wish I had more time with you, I wish you'd remember me, but ask your daddy about me, he'll tell you how happy I was to be your momma."



"Pat don't go looking for these men okay, you can't win with them, not yet... but when the kids are older, you need to find my daughters, I'm sorry for the secrets baby, I thought I'd get to tell you everything myself. I'm so sorry, so sorry," Mom sobbed, "Momma what's wrong?" younger me whispered since she was too I guess.



"Pat - you can't trust just anyone - if you need to get help go to Gabriel Gavino or Jay Colt... take the kids to him, he will be able to keep them safe, my daughters will be there too, they'll protect you guys, no body else but them Pat, do you understand?" my eyes welled up listening, knowing what was coming next, the tears falling down my face.



Her voice went lower even, "Bumblebee don't come out okay, stay here, even after you don't hear nothing, stay here. You understand baby? Wait until daddy finds you here, you hear me? Say you were outside Bumblebee... came inside and you hid here... don't tell anyone I put you here... not even daddy, don't tell daddy right away, you understand?"



"Ywes momma," the confusion in my young voice apparent.



"Now I need you to listen real careful okay? Real careful..."



"I wistening momma..."



"Don't give this player to anyone okay Bumblebee? People are gonna ask you if you saw anything or heard anything, but I want you to lie and say you didn't, say that I left, don't give them this player Bumblebee, just keep it to yourself until later - then show it to daddy okay? Do you understand?"



There's a loud noise, and I hear a sob, "I love you Bumblebee, I love you Benny and I love you Pat. I love my other girls too, Pat let them know that I loved them too."



"Be real quiet Bumblebee... I - I love you... don't come out... not until you hear daddies voice."



"Shhhhh..." the recorder picks it up and I know she's hiding me in the crawl space in my room. It was small but I fit, I remained in that spot for hours I remember. The recorder picking up some conversation that at the time meant nothing to me.



"Look what we have here... Elder Bellamy - or should I call you Anya? Norine?"



"Albert..." Momma says to the man, her voice is different than when she was speaking and playing with me.



"Where are the violins Norine? Elder Bellamy? Anya?"



"What Violi-" the tape clicks right after the gunshot, no more memory and my tears can't stop falling, remembering the shot that took her life, the order the man gave to find the violins, clean up the blood and get out before the human got home.



'Let them think she ran away,' A loud knock on my door startles me, I push the recorder away hiding it, wiping at my tears before I open the door to look coldly at Sarah, "What?" she doesn't speak right away, her eyes scanning over my face, "well?"



"Dinner's ready-"



"I'm not hungry," I say closing my door before she has a chance to reply.



Don't worry we won't be alone soon, the voice in my head tells me, comforting me.

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The night my mother died, even with what I heard I still asked my dad when she was coming back, not that he had an answer that soothed me but I asked. I heard his voice calling out for Momma and a crying Ben, and left my hiding spot, leaving the recorder in its place.



Hidden as I was waiting. I remember him asking me questions, and then police asking for questions but I was my momma's good girl, I didn't say a thing, didn't speak a word of anything, any of it.



For a long while, my mind blocked out so much, but each day something happened where I didn't continue to ask when she was coming home.



Instead, I knew the answer, could read the grown-up faces, and then as I stopped asking, I forgot about the player. Missing momma, denying what I heard, and still expecting her to come back because out of everything I didn't remember about that night, I remembered without the tape recorder how many times she said she loved me. And a person can't say 'I love you' that many times and not find a way back to that love.



Four years later, when I was turning seven, Sarah and Amelia joined our family, moved into our house, and while hiding my toys so I wouldn't have to share them with Amelia I found the player and my anger. I wasn't mad at momma though, or daddy but at Sarah, her family, this town, all the people that whispered nasty things about momma.



She abandoned her kids.



Left those two beautiful babies.



Heartless they called her.



Things weren't supposed to change, for us daddy left everything the way they were but when Sarah moved in, I know he loved her but he erased momma. He started agreeing with everyone else, not saying those things to us, Ben and I, but he said them nonetheless. When I was just going to tell him about that night, about the player things had changed. New furniture arrived, old pictures and albums with her photos gone, replaced with new photos. The room he used to store her things, emptied, nothing kept to make that room, Amelia's room. Within one week, this was no longer momma's house. This was Sarah's house, with her things and her likes, so I took my recorder back to my room, keeping the one last thing of Momma I had. Her voice.



With my new hearing, I listened to the family downstairs, daddies and Sarah's here to celebrate Amelia's birthday, a party in my momma's house.



A sharp knock breaks my thought, I sigh standing, walking to open it, already knowing in my new way that it's daddy. I open the door, and I know Sarah told him about the tears, but he still seems to analyze my face, checking. Turning around I go sit on my bed, dad comes in, closes the door behind him, "You okay Bee?" I only hear love and concern; I nod, not really wanting to speak to him, or anyone else; not with all the things piling up, not when he wouldn't understand.



"I'm fine dad," he doesn't push to get the reason I was crying earlier, but he does something worse, "Bee come on downstairs, it's Amelia's birthday, the family is here."



"I don't want too," and I don't not because I'm difficult or wanting to cause trouble, but because going down there would be more disruptive than being up here in my room alone.



"Honey, for me - just at least eat dinner," when I nod after a few minutes, I walk to dad, and I'm engulfed in his arms, and miserably sad all over again. Worse when my new super senses are invaded by Sarah's perfume, I scrunch my nose pulling away not meeting dad's eyes. Closing my room when we hit the hall I see a small bag, and dad reaches for it, and we go down to the den, he follows me to the dining room, and the family greets me, my Aunt Kelly and Diane are here with their families, as are my uncles Marvin and Grant.



After greeting them, I just sit near Ben whose already holding his fork, eager to shovel the food into his mouth. And like I've been doing for years, I don't acknowledge Sarah's family.



The tension is worse because I'm here now, but uncle Grant, dives in, "How's school Oak?" at thirteen years old, I skipped a grade, leaving newly turned fourteen year old Amelia in 8th grade but I was still a freshman, taking Juniors math and reading. Dad swears I got my smarts from mom since he was never book smart. But that's only something he used to say before Sarah and Amelia came around. I know he does it to protect Sarah's feelings, but I'm sure he has to know how it hurts mine. Right? Because parents always know. Mom would've.



"It's great, I'm taking this Aquatic Biology class at the community college-"



"Oh so you no longer want to major in Biochemistry?" I just roll my eyes, "I do, but you know I don't like to be in this house so I took this class plus it's fascinating," I finish easily. Aware of what I said, the gasps and all, but Uncle Grant he's different, he just looks into my eyes, not with pity and no judgment. It's easy to talk to him, not because he's a therapist but he never bashes momma - then again maybe it is because of his profession.



"You know," he starts drinking his water, smiling, "You're eager to run off, but the minute you do... like other teens, I bet you'll be missing home-"



"Well I'm sure those other teens actually feel like they belong in the place where they are missing, I won't miss this this house, because it's not my home, it stopped being my home when dad trashed all of mom's things to make room for Amelia and Sarah. But I will miss Dad and Ben," I say quietly, under my breath, and even to my own ears I hear the anger and sadness. And that look is back... the look he's been giving me every now and then since that night momma died, almost begging me to share my pain with him, remove the load from my shoulders but I couldn't then, and I was afraid too now.



"Oakley Lawson!" dad says my name with a bit of warning, and because I've just listened to the recording again, all those feelings inside me that I can not control, spurs me on, "I'm sorry Uncle Grant, that was wrong of me to say, of course I would come back to this place where all these lovely people in the room, call my mother a whore that ran off with some man and left dad all alone to take care of us. And while I'm running back to be in this house that doesn't hold one single item that belonged to my mother because Dad wanted Sarah to feel at home, in my mothers home," be nice to others bumblebee I remember mom saying, be kind to others, they'll be kind to you...

"I'll be quick to return to this place that holds pictures of her alcoholic brother, and her father that used to beat her mother. Because I guess there is nothing wrong with beating a woman, its sacrificing-" I stop before I finish, I say the words but I hate that I said them. I hate it as much as I hate the memories and I hold myself tightly, forcing my hands not to shake in anger.



"It's my birthday Bee-"



And that was it, I stood and my chair scrapped against the hardwood floor, "I've told you and Sarah, not to call me that!"



"It's just a name, Ben and dad-"



"Are my dad and my brother, you are Amelia... how hard is it to remember? I've been saying it since I've met all of you."



"Oakley! Upstairs! Now!" I just shook my head, I told him I didn't want to come down here, I never want to be around this - all the lies. I leave the room, heading upstairs, more broken than when I left my room only minutes ago. I know that Sarah loved dad... it wasn't that she didn't love him, but the ends he went to, to reassure her hurt. The things he said about Mom, hurt. Erasing and not even telling Benny about her? She wasn't here and I understood, she wasn't coming back I knew that, but - but. Pointless circles.



"That girl needs discipline!" Sarah's mother says, and I can even hear Grant scoff, "She can't go on like this Pat, she might be smart as a whip, but some times children need to feel that whip," and then Uncle Grants scoff turns into laughter. "Mom!"



"Pat, really?"



"Look not now, this is Amelia's birthday dinner, later," Dad said to Uncle Grant, my vision blurs as I lay on my bed holding my chest, the pain there increasing, physically hurting me as I think of mom. People always say: 'I wish I knew what you were thinking?'



Or you see some people whispering and think; 'I wonder what they're saying?' but now, that I can hear conversations, hear the whispers, I know people can be cruel. Most of those cruel people are downstairs...



They belittle me at each turn, dad never defends mom, but to me it's like he doesn't defend me.



'Benny boy... you look just like your pops!' everyone claims, but with my green eyes, fair skin and brown hair, no one says it, but I know I look like mom. A reminder of the woman that left dad, one that I thought was brave. Of the woman that died that night. And I can't stop the crying that shakes my whole body, the pain - I just want it to stop. I want to go back to that night...



I go to my dresser, opening it, taking out what I needed, deciding, wavering, shaky hands from crying, unsure. Just hold on a little longer...the voice says, pleading but I'm all-alone. So alone. You have your father, your brother... hold on.



Just a reminder of someone that hurt them, an unwanted reminder.



Reminder. I think, holding the blade.



Half of my mother, I drag the blade across my wrist, wanting out, wanting out bad.

I fall to my knees, laying in the fetal position, as blood pools around my wrist; I wonder how no one could tell that my mother died that night in the house? In that very room downstairs that they were celebrating Amelia's birthday? My blood flowed, as had my mothers' right?



How come there was no blood? Was there blood...is the last thing I think of while crying, my vision blurring.



"Oakley... Oakley..." Dad is knocking on the door, turning the knob, "Oakley open the door sweetheart," Uncle Grant pleads muffled, I can't hear them clearly. I feel the vibration on the ground - my eyes closed, but I feel the gust of wind fan against my shaking body when the door budges.



"Oh god! Oh god! Oh God! Oakley," someone is touching me but I'm so close to the darkness, so numb, "Call 911!"



"Stop the bleeding-"



'Let them think she ran away.'

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I know many are probably confused, HOWEVER, you'll come to understand soon enough...

for those that click on this first, you need to read:

1. Unexpected (book 1)

2. Unconditional (book 2)

2b. His Forgotten Mate

3. Unbroken (is book three)

© 2015 new_season All Rights Reserved

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So if you haven't already read my new story or taken a look, here is the prologue of 'Loving Ashlynn,' the rest of the story is up on 'MyStories.' I would LOVE LOVE LOVE if you could all take a look and let me know what you think, if you're not interested that's cool too lol.



- - PREVIEW - -

Prologue - Faith POV



Two months, all of May and all of June. Truly that was the longest I had ever gone without seeing Dmitri in my whole life, although maybe that was to be expected because I had long figured out that the older I got, the less independent on him I was, the less frequent his trips became. Though, now I could tell something was wrong, two months, with very limited supplies, he would have made an appearance a month ago. I'd never had to ration food for three days over that of nearly nine.



Sighing, I walked to the window overlooking the forest around me, my mind drifting the age-old question of what was beyond those trees? Beyond the mountains? Had things calmed? Had the war finished? I had been inside my whole life, never setting a foot outside in the poisonous air that killed many. I wondered how different things had become since many of the videos that donned the living room? I knew that progress had been made, the proof in the selection of videos that Dmitri brought along with supplies when he came.



Restless, I left the window, pacing in the kitchen, wondering if any danger had come to Dmitri? Had someone witnessed him leaving our safe place and taken him from me? It was already the third of July, my birthday, and in the previous sixteen years he had never missed a single one, always bringing me a new batch of things, books to read, records to play, movies to watch, new special treats. Yet today on my seventeenth, he had yet to make an entrance.



With no way to reach him, I pushed the negative thoughts from my mind, despite my greatest fear coming true, being truly alone in the world. Fading away in my safe place, taking my last breath alone and forgotten, an empty existence in this new dangerous world. A part of myself ached that I would never get to visit the many places I had read in my stories, never using the lessons Dmitri brought for me to study, to feel the sun on my face outside of my glass walls.



Although I guess I wouldn't get to feel the heat on my bare skin, no one could survive that way anymore, without a protective suit, a mask and tank with clean breathable air. All my life Dmitri had searched for one for me, never being quite so luckyto my greatest disappointment. Other children, like myself had to wait, until they had reached the right size, to fit the nearly one size fit all overall. But I had grown, his next visit, the one that should have been many days before, I would've been able to use his suit if just for a moment had he not found one for me.



They were rare, expensive, as a child when he found me; he had placed me inside of his own suit, bringing me to safety.



Putting on the Revolver LP vinyl, Taxman croons, the sound calming me easily, I listen to song after song as the sunsets and the usual darkness encroaches my home, I sigh, and I Want To Tell You brings a old memory of Dmitri rocking me to sleep, the same rocking chair still in my room, though he has long stopped rocking me to sleep. At first I noted the changes, him distancing himself and thought it was me, that I had done something wrong to push him away, but with age my, with my love for literature, for numbers for learning and devouring all the books he brought, I learned that it wasn't anything I could help.



Things changed.



People changed and the less problematic solution was to adapt.



So I did.



Turning away from the window, lights dancing off the trees below reflecting in my peripheral, and I do a double take my heart thumping quickly as I lift a hand against the cooler glass. He's coming, my forehead against the earlier tension falls away, and my bottom lip trembles, my breath fogging the glass, and in a moment of panic I wipe away the condensation obscuring my view.



"He didn't forget me," I sigh, repeating those words that quell my panic in small momentary relief. The headlights shine through the darkness and in a last ditch moment, I run to the mirror to fix myself, my wild curly hair fans around my face, my face smaller, thinner from lack of food, under my bluish- green eyes dark circles from worry and lack of sleep startle me. I know Dmitri will notice and the last thing I want is for him to believe I am not taking care of myself while he is away.



My lips red from chewing on them, I look at my clothes, a plain black shirt and shorts I made on my sewing machine with fabrics Dmitri obtained for me. I run back over to the window overlooking the barely used dirt road to see a car not at all like what Dmitri drives? The panic I pushed down, flares instantly, black body, the windows darker, the car larger and even in my panic I feel my face turn up to a slow smile. It's much bigger, hope swells inside that he's brought a new bigger car because I'll finally be able to join him out there.



I exhale shakily, and before the car has come to a stop I run to the steps, down, going to the door that has the lock that only Dmitri knows, I wait bouncing on the balls of my feet. And when through four thick glass windows a man that looks nothing like my Dmitri leaves the car - not wearing a suit - and my brain stumbles.



His brown eyes connect with mine and all I see is dread and something I cannot understand. He isn't wearing a suit, I note on the side. Where is Dmitri? He's not wearing a mask, and I see him inhale. The air out there is no longer dangerous? Where is Dmitri?



The man continues to the door, his eyes not leaving mine, he lifts his hand to the keypad outside - "Anyone that comes here with the code to the keypad Faith, you can trust them," words said years back creep into the chaos.



He isn't wearing a mask, or body suit, and he's breathing outside, the air is safe? He steps inside and the process I'm so familiar with startles him, the decontamination process. He shakes his head and the connection between us breaks and I stand waiting, tense until the final glass pushes to the side automatically.



"Where is Dmitri?" my voice shakes and again, his words from years before is all that keeps me in place.



The man blinks, "Fatima?" I shake my head. That is my name of course, Fatima Safiya Ashlynn, "Faith," I murmur, "Dmitri calls me Faith." The man nods, his eyes are pained. That's it! The part of my brain working to deconstruct his facial expressions notes and the next step is connecting his pained expression with its reason.

On my seventeenth birthday, I break.

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WANT MORE 'Loving Ashlynn?' read the book on my profile :)

© 2016 roxann_season All Rights Reserved

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So hopefully... when people come across this book they'll not need to ask: What order are the books to be read in?

How to read the series... (If you care to read them all... it's not necessary to do that though. If you're interested in just UNBROKEN (BOOK#3), then just go ahead and read it.)

1)Scratch (The first half which is the chapters set in the past && can be read as a standalone).

2)Unexpected.

3)His Forgotten Mate (Can be read as a standalone).

4)Unconditional.

5)Unbroken.

6)Scratch (The second half which are the chapters set in the present && can be read as a standalone).

7)Loving Ashlynn & Shattered (Both can be read as a standalone).

8)Undivided (Currently down but will be back).