A/n: Not Edited.

Chapter 15 – Russell Davis POV



I sat alone, Thayer leaving me to my thoughts because as of now there wasn’t much sound here, a small cry from the next room not wanting that to disrupt the peacefulness of the others I creep into Angel’s room lifting my crying son, his dark blue eyes wide in the slight darkness.



“Hey my boy,” I coo, closing the door behind me, and actually here his stomach making gurgling noises, much to loud for someone his side, but not having that much experience maybe it’s normal, “hungry?” I ask not that I was expecting an answer. He wasn’t more than a few months old but was sturdy, plumb… the babies were growing healthy, and Angel was always mothering them. I’m not sure why it surprised me, I knew she’d love them, but it was the care and adoration she had for each child that took me by surprise. I thought she’d get frustrated or bothered because babies were hard work, but she seemed to enjoy everything, baths’ feeding, baby talk… napping with them, everything.



Angel did everything with a sweet smile, soft careful hands, she laughed and giggled when they did something she found cute. Mom said that I shouldn’t be surprised that Angel’s the type of mom that she was, there could be two reasons. Despite probably never experiencing that with her own mother, she could just be doing what she craved as a child making sure that her children, were always clean, warm, full.



Making my way down the stairs, I hold Rusty against my chest, Angel sometimes pumped extra milk, for night feedings or well like she said, three mouths but only two breasts. I hadn’t assumed everyone was sleeping but dad’s voice startled me, “He’s hungry?” dad said in a whisper, but in the quiet it was louder causing Rusty to be frightened, against my chest as well. I nodded, going to the fridge, “here let me, I’m making a cup of tea for myself,” I stopped going to a chair at the island, “do you fancy a cup?” he asked his back to me, voice tired.



“Yeah dad…”



“How’s Angel?” I jerked a bit, but careful with Rusty in my arms, I couldn’t understand why they all were worried about her, not with how I knew they were suffering, grieving, not responding, he turned slightly, “is something the matter with her? I know you’ve been keeping and eye on her,” his voice concerned.



“Dad… don’t do this…” I whispered cowardly gazing at my son, not meeting dad’s eyes, “I’m not sure I understand what you are talking about Russell, or at least I’m hoping I’m wrong,” he stopped tending to the whistling from the boiling kettle, making our cups, using some of the water with tap to heat the bottle for Rusty in another clear medium sized bowl. He slid the cup towards me. The dimly lit room showing me his features, as he stepped closer, not touching his tea but reaching out for Rusty, a loving gaze in his eyes, a pro at holding babies he cooed at Rusty, then reached for the bottle, testing it first on his arm.



Rusty latched on quickly his slurping sounds the only ones for a while, a light hum sounding from appliances and the air-conditioner, “I was McKenna’s-” he stopped, “I am her father, and I will always be… and I hope you never have to experience this loss Russell. I’m sad, grieving for so many different things… when you look at your children, this beautiful little boy,” he sighed, “What do you think when you look at him?” he eyed me but for the most part focused on Rusty.



I gazed at Rusty, there was so much I hoped for him, innocent right now, “I see his life playing out in my head, options so many beautiful life long options, from the smallest to the biggest things he could do, learning to walk, talk, his first laugh, tooth and learning to ride a bike, school, love, heartbreak, milestones and achievement, just so many… so many-”



“Options… moments,” he said knowingly, “I’m grieving for all that McKenna won’t get to do, I lose my breath when each time I realize one more thing she won’t get to do, one more thing I won’t get to see her – her achieve,” he sounded so sad, I had never heard him using this voice – well not since Amara and Darren’s parents died.



“The pain, it’s raw, and rough, it takes all o-o-over me but, but I’m here holding this b-b-beautiful little boy,” his body shakes, but that doesn’t disturb Rusty from his greedy slurps, “and his mother is upstairs, and you’re suffering t-to for what happened b-but Russell, I’m happy that Angel wasn’t hurt because I know – I know – that you love her, I’m holding this little baby here, I’ve lost a part of who I was, but the rest of me is still here. I don’t know how, not when my heart is breaking,” he says shaking, crying, he bends slowly and kisses Rusty’s forehead. “You are a father, son,” his words make me remember the loss I shared with Amara, but we never got to meet that child… it hurt but…



“I think the woman you are supposed to love is up there and I’m so happy that I don’t have to watch you deal with that grief, of not even getting a chance to love her the right way. To love her at all, she’s only been with you – with you for such a short time and in my heart, I – I know that she has never been loved the way I loved McKenna, or the way you’re going to love her… so I can feel so many things now. I’m so angry that we didn’t listen to you back in Michigan when you told her you under no means would choose her. I’m furious that someone I loved, welcomed into our life with open arms, abused my trust and k –killed my baby, my child,” he cried and a creaky floorboard signaled we weren’t alone anymore, and from the darkness Dana, stepped out, her face blotchy, swollen eyes, dried tear marks.



Dad sighed, handing my Rusty to burp him, “And how are you sweetheart?” He asked again his fatherly tone in place, but the concern was the same.



“I’m – I’m blessed, I’m sad but I’m happy,” she struggled to say, “We left home thinking Cody was going to die, I had prepared myself for that, I knew that I’d have Darren, we’d support each other. Both get to – to grieve his short life, but instead, I have a sore arm because I was shot. By something we all know who planned, I – I just don’t get how Darren couldn’t see how manipulating she was being!” Dana cried but she was angry, “But I’m relieved because I’m here, Angel is here and Cody is here. He’s upstairs, fast asleep next to the other two, he laughs deeply, gets a mischievous look in his eyes, and I just know he’s going to do something naughty, but I smile secretly, because – because my baby is going to do something,” I listened, tears in my eyes, rolling down my face, I look down at the wonder in Rusty’s eyes and I know how she feels as well.



Dad opens his arms, welcoming her, letting her cry on his shoulder, the two of them shaking, and I can’t tell who is crying, dad? Dana? Both?



“You don’t get to pull away from us Russ,” Dana said after a few minutes, “We’re on an island so there’s nowhere for you to go, but you don’t have to hide out in your room like you did something wrong. You did nothing, Darren knew that Amara was pregnant this time, and he hid it, lied to all of us, his family to protect her. I was in that room, I was shot in my shoulder, could’ve killed me and he isn’t-” she stopped clearing her throat, “You lost your sister, you didn’t pull the trigger, buy the guns, pay the people or put the idea in anyone’s head,” her voice stern, I feel as though I’m being scolded, but I let the words plant inside my head.



“I’m gonna set him down,” I whisper not wanting to wake Rusty, leaving dad and Dana alone in the kitchen, before I can get to far I hear dad, “Thanks for telling him that… this isn’t Rusty’s fault,” I climbed the stairs, their voices fading until I couldn’t hear them.



Oakley POV



I was exhausted, but not yet use to this new place I picked up a pillow and the soft, light bed sheet leaving my room and heading to the right a few steps to knock on Benny’s door. Waiting, I heard him shuffling to the door, opening surprised. When he saw it was me, he was instantly on alert like I came with trouble and not a soft pillow to defend us, “Can I sleep in here for tonight?” I asked whispering. Tilting his head to the side, he nodded easily and I went to the side I saw he wasn’t on, his T.v. on, but on low.



One episode of Spongebob and I finally asked, “Are you mad Ben?” I really wanted to know, I mean he was angry earlier, but maybe he was still. He had a right to be angry, “I’m not angry, Bee…” he said softly, “but why didn’t know let me listen to the recording all these years?”



I sighed, turning to face him, “I didn’t want it too get taken away, you loved Sarah and Amelia and I know I told you that it was okay, but even though I love you so much, I didn’t want it to be taken away, or for you to mention it by mistake…” I said with a pitiful shrug, he watched me nodding, before turning back to the television.



“She sounds like you said…” he whispered but said nothing else, if he did I didn’t hear because I was soon fast asleep.



Marvin Lawson POV



My father – Isaac – and I held my brother back, watching the Nissan Armada with our loved ones – demolished – fully engulfed in flames. Thick, flames reaching to the skies, the window blowing flames in every which direction, the alarms of cars in the drive near the house all ringing blaringly but not enough to cancel out the screaming but while chaos was around me, I was focused on preventing my older brother Pat.



“Noooo!” he roared fighting us, giving it his best effort, dad and I holding him, by his shirt at first before the sleeve was ripped and we had to hold his body, torso, “Let me go!” he thrashed, “My babies ... no… why… fault … help them … go … Oak!” Even from our place, my back facing the fire I could still feel heat from the car, and in the back of my mind, a small – very small – part realized that there was no way, no way at all that this was accidental. I don’t know how long it is before we hear sirens; it was maybe five minutes because this was a small town but with dad and I wrestling to keep Pat away from the car made it felt like hours.



He gave up – my older brother sank to the ground on his knees – going limp, wracking sobs and noise close to a whimpering whining animal join – mixed. But he hadn’t given up, he was crawling towards the fire dad and I holding again, our father crying, but securing Pat to him.



Behind me, the firemen, are shouting, giving orders, I glance behind me and see them begin to shoot powerful water towards the car, however instead of the fire minimizing – the flames rose, rocketed to the sky, smoke – a sizzling sound joining – increasing, that second flash of fire is what stopped Pat from moving from his spot on the ground. Not just stopping him, no this time when he wilted it was because he had passed out.



Paramedics, the police car and help came to us, “are you hurt?” Rodney asked. I knew his name, everyone in this town knew each other’s name, numb I shook my head, but with what strength I had left, I lifted Pat – stumbling a few times, my vision hindered with tears of despair – I carried him into the house, Sarah, dad, and mom trailing in behind me.



“Okay ready, lets sing for daddy… A – b – c – d – e – f – g – h – I – j – k…” Norine and Oakley, the recording still playing on repeat not helping, “Now I know my ABC’s next time won’t you sing with meeeeeeee! Do you like that daddy?”



“I’m so sorry Norine… so sorry… all my fault … always loved you … I was going too… I was going to ask Sarah to leave… give Oakley space … too late … thought you didn’t love me… left … all my fault … I love you still … I was lost … needed to be accountable to someone else … thought you moved on … married so I wouldn’t seek you out … Benny… our babbby –baby died … forgive me,” Pat mumbled not awake, pausing each time a bit as though he was having a conversation with someone. No, not someone, Norine. My father was comforting my mom, holding each other as they fell apart, but even they could hear the words whispered by Pat, as did Sarah, who released a broken sob, covering her mouth, stepping back from Pat, Amelia at her side, her family crowded around Pat, no one wanting to meet each others eyes.



“I didn’t try… gone… alone… all alone… she’s gone and she doesn’t know… doesn’t think I loved her enough… I … sorry … so sorry…” he shifted restlessly, I glanced down for a second and when I lifted my head Sarah, Amelia and her mother were no longer in the room. Chaos was still around, crying, little children, my own children huddled against my wife in the corner of the room, and I knew that our lives would never be the same again.



Chelsea POV



My body never felt so tense, so rigid as I heard Nonno tell us – me maybe – to kill him, “What?” I choked out, Jack and Mikael looked at him as though he had lost his ever loving mind, which I’m sure my face said. She can bring back anyone, but if she brings an Innocent back, a Soulless is chosen, without her touch.



“Well if you kill me, and decide to bring me back that means that you’re picking a Soulless, not an Innocent, and then you still get to choose what Innocent you bring back,” Nonno said but he wasn’t thinking of something I hadn’t ran by Jason and Mother. I shook my head from side to side slowly, “If I choose to bring back a Soulless Nonno, I can’t choose what Innocent will return.”



He nodded slowly, his eyes blank… standing Nonno walked over to me, a sad smile on his face, “Grazie pe dirmi topolino,” he whispered kissing my cheek, holding my face, his hands shook, “I had many years – many many years with – with my Clara,” his voice shaky, “she wouldn’t want us to be in danger, so – so I believe you shouldn’t bring her back, it is the wrong – wrong” he stopped shaking, eyes leaking, sadness, love and emptiness rolling down his cheek, “thing to – to do.”



I gave him one nodded but pulled away from Gabriel to embrace this man who welcomed me unlike any of Gabriel’s family, and I felt like I had let him down, when he seemed to give up so much, “I’m so sorry Nonno,” I whispered my heart heavy, Nonno wasn’t squeezing me too hard but I felt like I was being squeezed on the inside. Over his shoulder my gaze met with Jack, he shook his head at me, I can’t ask you to bring back someone when we would be unleashing danger – asking you to bring my mate back… he shook his head again, and tears fell down my face, we would be no different from the Elders, so I’m okay with you not bringing McKenna back. My heart broke even more, I patted Nonno’s back – I had seen Ava do this and it helped Remy. I thought that when they told me this, the exact same answer I was going to give regardless, that I would feel lighter, feel as though I weren’t letting them down, because they saw it my way, agreed with my decision. I was wrong. This felt worse.



“My Clara was a good woman,” Nonno whispered, his voice not telling me, just sounding so lost, I wondered how long he would last without her? A month? Two? What about Jack? After everything Mother and Jason told me, when we found those violins and released the power, I needed to have at least ten other people with me to absorb the power from them. Could they be one of the ten? Would their wolves be stable enough to count on them not betraying me?



I did well with pain, physical, mental even the emotional kind but what happened next brought me to my knees, “Ahhhhhh,” I roared, throwing my head back as my body seemed to convulse against my will. Worse than when I was shot, my hands immediately went to cradle my head, bowing forward so much than on my knees, my forehead was touching the kitchen floor.



“Clara!” Nonno said somewhere – shouting – hands were on me, “McKenna?” I heard Jack say, more than one set of hands were on me, I closed my eyes titling my head to the side, my jaw locking open but no sound was coming from my lips.



As sudden as the pain came, it left. Panting I was on all fours in human form, my head hanging, as Gabriel panicked around me, “Chelsea! Sweetheart?”



“Topolino?” Nonno’s voice concerned and shocked but I didn’t know why, all I was trying to do right then, right now, was catch my breath, when I finally sat on the backs of my legs, upright, I saw something I wasn’t expecting.



A confused and frightened McKenna, and a concerned Nona, “Oh no…” I jumped to my feet my heart beating frantically, my head whipping from side to side, closing my eyes I thought of where I wanted to be and when I opened them, I was back in the white room. Dad and Mother sat there smirking at me, “Oh god!! What did I do? I didn’t mean to bring them back! Oh god!” I said in a panic my mind going in circles.



“Relax my child,” Mother said, “You did not bring them back, I sent them back,” my shoulders hunched but my body was still partially rigid, fists clenched at my side.



“What!?” I said lifting a brow at them, hoping I didn’t just suffer because – “this – this was a test?” I spat incredulously, at the two of them, I hated these mind games.



Through clenched teeth I asked, “So you lied, there is no such thing as balance between who I choose to bring back?” my blood was boiling.



“Respect Luna, this was a test for you to have the ability to bring them back, knowing that you would not abuse such a gift. Sabastian and Jack were given their mates back because of their loyalty, to you – to goodness.” Gabriel and Nonno were killers… again I’m not sure we had the same views.



I interrupted when I thought of who was in the room, “What about Katie?” I hadn’t seen her.



Mother gave me a half smile, “Young Katie isn’t interested in being brought back to your world…”



“As I was saying, Clara and McKenna were returned because you all made the right decisions here; you have shown that you are accountable and dependable. You must see Luna, we gave the Elders too much, not checking on their hidden traits, now you cannot fault us for being cautious this time around… sending back individuals Luna is not the natural way, so I do not do it often, the consequences of this decision will not be the same for me as it is for you,” Mother said never once raising her voice at me, just answering in her sweet voice.



It was logical, I didn’t like it, but I took a breath… closing my eyes, counting in my head, when I felt less anger, I reopened them but found myself alone. Sighing I concentrated on going back, and found Gabriel in a chair, bent over his hands in his hair pulling at it. Nonno was holding onto Clara, just holding her face and looking into her eyes Jack and McKenna were no where to be found.



The second Gabriel knew that I was back, he swept me up, wrapping his arms around me, his face against my neck, “I hate when you do that!” he mumbled in the most petulant sounding voice I’ve ever heard from him. Nonno approached Gabriel and I, not caring that I was still being held by Gabriel, his eyes tired, but not lifeless, “thank you,” he stressed so much that I didn’t know how to respond except nodding woodenly, then blinking a few times I got my senses back, “it wasn’t me…. It was actually you… thinking about the greater good and all that,” I said offhandedly but in truth, none of it made sense.



After saying goodnight, Gabriel and I left to our room, exhausted, my mind was overloaded… crawling into bed, I waited for Gabriel to settle in, before cuddling as close as possible to him, my leg over his, one hand on his stomach, my head on his chest, his heartbeat lulling me to sleep.

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