A/N: Not Edited. This is a chapter with Q/A at the end. I know I changed this chapter but I had this type in two different places and then I couldn't edit it until I got the second half back so now, it's in its rightful order. IF YOU'VE ALREADY VOTED, Don't try to vote again you can't. I really just wanted you all to have the chapter the way I HAD MEANT for it to be.

Chapter 37.5

Carla Ryan POV (Kieran’s mother)

For the first time in years I slept under the roof with all my children, in human form that is. Leaving the bed I went to the kitchen, quietly heading to make some of Kieran’s old favorites, while still fuming and grateful, all my emotions running high. I looked into the fridge, reaching to the eggs, I stepped back hitting a form that wasn’t there before. Startled, I spin to face my husband, Tony. “What are you doing awake?” he mumbles, eyeing he egg in my hands. “Making breakfast for Kieran.”



“How do you know he wants to eat?” Tony asked dryly, going to the stool, while I made him a cup of coffee. I shrug, moving about, “I don’t, but we – I – he,” I stumble not sure how to even begin to state how I feel or how badly we had dropped the ball when it came to our family.



“Can you wake Dominic and Connor?” I said wanting to get this done with, we had walked on eggshells last night after the gathering with the Luna and Alpha. I began cracking eggs into a bowl, listening to my mate waking my two sons, then the three of them coming into the kitchen, “What’s the deal dad?” Connor asked plopping his self at the table, Dominic following silently. Turning I faced them, “You two are going to share a-” Connor growled, his father canceling him out with his own. “Don’t be disrespectful to your mother!”



“Why? You think Kieran is going to stay here?” Connor asked, “I don’t think he’s going to be staying here, he will be staying here if he wants.”



“So you’re just pushing us aside for him after all he’s done?”



I scoffed, the anger I went to sleep with hitting full force once again, “What about what you’ve done? Bullying your own brother? Letting us all think that he attacked that girl out of nowhere, we condemned our own child because of that lying-” Connor let a snarl out.



“Watch it!” I snapped again, “You and Dominic and her sisters teased Kieran-”



“He made himself a target mom, he comes here and there’s no danger yet he stays in wolf form?” Connor ridiculed. “And you all thought that teasing him and annihilating him would be the best thing to do?” my lip shook. “Your mate got what she deserved, had me bending over backwards trying to make her feel welcomed when all along you all were the reason she’s-”



“So what she touched him Mom? He nearly killed her; he tore into her good she will never be able to…” he swallowed shaking his head, slamming his palm down on the table, making Dominic flinch, “She got what she deserved, what happened to her was a consequence of her actions, something I’ve been teaching you all since they day you were born… after everything he’s gone thro-”



“Mom it’s not always about him! We left and lost everything because of Kieran! He got taken because he didn’t listen to you, he went out alone and got kidnapped this isn’t something that was done just to him. It was done to all of us-” he didn’t get to finish, Tony tackled our son, his fist connecting a resounding crack echoing in the room. Dominic stood quickly; taking a step back away from his brother and father, “Stop!” I said moving forward to pull Tony from Connor, Dominic assisting me. “What is wrong with all of you?” Tera – my youngest – said blinking her eyes wide and watery. “Honey go back to be-”



“No daddy. Why are you fighting? He’s here… in human form. And – and you two, I told you not to let them tease him. Mom is right. Your mate got what was coming to her! And you’re still fighting? Don’t you know how – how lucky you are? The Luna could have killed you! Did you forget that Oakley is her little sister, our Princess! You tried to hit her, I thought for sure something worse was going to come Connor!” she moved hair from her face, saying all the things that had been running around my mind the minute Luna Chelsea left us at the gathering. The utter fear that she would remember that neither she nor the Alpha had really punished Connor for trying to strike a young girl.



“You’re delusional Connor. You seem to think that Taryn did nothing wrong, like Kieran was drowning or something and she saved his life. That’s not what happened. He was minding his own business when she got close enough and thought brilliantly in that small brain of hers-” Connor growled at the insult, Tony slapped a hand on his shoulder, “what are you going to hit me too?” she spat, “She was wrong. It wasn’t right. He couldn’t help it and she knew that… he attacked us and we learned but – but… you didn’t even care what she did until you figured out that she was your mate then you went whining and crying about what you lost and how he hurt her…” Tera panted.



“Just stop. Keep your head down and stop making us a target! Oakley’s my friend, I’m going to invite her over again, you’d better get yourself together. She isn’t the one wrong here. Everything she said was true. You’re as stupid as Taryn, but it’s worse, because before she was your mate, Kieran was your brother,” I shake my head. My normally quiet daughter was shaking angrily in her spot, “If you can’t be nice to Kieran then you should just leave Connor. Maybe you’re the one that should go live on the mountain, take stupid with you!” Her eyes flashed light blue, the tone of her voice changing, becoming eerily calm, despite her quickly rising chest.



“Honey – Tera – sweetheart, cool down – lower your voice,” Tony said trying to calm Tera, as she seemed to only get angrier. “Why? It’s not like Kieran is here – which I guess is a good thing since even though you learn the truth about what happened you’re all still blaming him,” she shrieked back. My eyes widened, “yes he-” she shook her head and for a minute I listened, her heart beat racing, Tony’s just as fast, picking up, Dominic and then Connor… but no Kieran.

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Grant Lawson POV

The love of my life was asleep on the bed next to me, she began stretching out, a small moan released, “Mhmm… baby… are you okay?” she rubbed at her face, squinting in the low light she glanced at the clock, “Did you sleep?” she mumbled. I nodded, but still, “Not really, I was just… I couldn’t shut my mind off,” I sighed. “It’ll be alright,” she said curling up to my side. “It’s not just that, we’ve been here for nearly a month, but I can’t understand what Pat thought he was doing… I mean Julia, he totally abandoned his children for Amelia and Sarah, I know that they miss him, but there isn’t any anxiety from the decision to stay here. He could be here with them, learning just how special these two children are,” I tried to explain the chaos of thoughts that often kept me awake.



Julia just listens, her hand on my lower stomach, “You feel guilty?” she whispered, “He’s missing too much and I’m afraid of what happens when we go back. I feel like he’s losing them… I feel like they’ve changed so much – it’s for the better – but when they go back, he’s going to be expecting the two children he lost, but Oakley has grown so much, Ben is actually thriving. I feel like everyone is going to truly be furious with our decisions-”



“They weren’t in our position, and we didn’t put ourselves here. Pat would be here if he had done the right thing by sending Amelia and Sarah away, and focused on his daughter. We were in that car because he made Oakley make a decision. You saw that tape Grant; she was so defeated she knew in her heart he wouldn’t be whom she needed,” she paused, lifting her head up, “All we can do is support them here, you see the changes in Oakley because she’s finally letting you in, she has a bad days but there’s finally some balance. She wasn’t in a good situation, she was flourishing academically, but mentally she was falling apart right before our eyes. Emotionally, she couldn’t handle anymore and she physically tried to take her life,” she whispered.



Normally we didn’t speak about such things in the house around the kids, especially with their hearing but this conversation I was going to have right now, just about broke me. After attending the gathering the night before, watching Chelsea and Gabriel handle conflicts was mesmerizing, and so out of the norm. Here was this child – and I didn’t mean it in any way demeaning her authority but – probably weighed a hundred and ten pounds wet, seemingly delicate ordering around grown men and women. And not just grown men but I had come to learn that while Marlon appeared to be forty years old, he was nearly three or four times that age. But the respect they gave Chelsea, despite being her elder, was baffling, yet witnessing her last night, how she handled her authority I understood finally.



“I’m proud of her now though…” I said by way of answering, Julia’s comment, “Really thought that if she was attacked for any reason, with such high self hate she wouldn’t defend herself, but to hear that she did,” I smiled, my cheeks hurting, as Julia giggled next to me, “I used to think Ben and Oakley were alike but the more I see Oakley with Chelsea,” she chuckled. I sighed, “thank you,” I murmured kissing her forehead; my mind had cleared for a moment. I sat up, “you know, these early morning runs and working out, have already started to slowly pay off,” she teased as I took my shirt off, shrugging off from the bed to change into my running gear.



Chuckling, I don’t take the bait, “Yeah, Chelsea said it would keep his wolf calm, as well as burn energy now since he has so much of it… factor in the sweltering heat that rockets around 9am,” I dressed, getting my shoes on.



“Are you going to bring someone with you?” she asked sitting up now against the head, “You know like someone in case he wolfs out on you?” I shake my head.



“No, they already said to do it slow and don’t try to make matters worse, just let him handle and deal with the information,” I repeated what Marlon advised. She nodded sadly, “I do think this is the best though, getting ahead of it before it spirals out so bad that both those children end up hurt.”



I nodded, “Damn shame what they did with Kieran though, teasing that kid,” I shook my head, chuckling when I remembered last night, both Chelsea and Oakley laughing. The look on Kieran’s face, “What did they do before I got home?” I asked using my chin to point in the direction of Oakley’s room. Julia started laughing, “That poor kid, doesn’t stand a chance, she’s reading to him, joking and he is just staring at her Grant, I mean I can’t read his mind or nothing, but I don’t think he knows what to make of Oakley.” I just smiled back, it had been a while since someone had a good memory of Oakley or laughed happily when mentioning her.



“Hey Uncle Grant you ready?” Ben called – awake – on the opposite side of the door, and instantly my heart sank. “Yeah let’s go,” I said back not needing to shout, he could hear me just right. “It’ll be fine,” Julia said encouraging me. Standing I approached our bed, leaning down to kiss her, once, twice, I sighed pulling away and met Ben downstairs.



Entering the code, Ben and I left the house, “I thought instead of running we could walk along the beach, and then if you want run back,” I offered nonchalantly. “Sure,” he nodded shrugging. “Thought you’d bring your ball?” I noted even though I knew from Chelsea that Ben had left it there the day before. I watched as the early morning light hitting the sea, shone the light against his face, his neck reddening. He shook his head looking away from me, but before he could do so fully I saw the small frown, “I left it with Kayla…”



“Oh… does she like to play?” I asked interested, to see this from Ben’s perspective. He shrugged; “I don’t know… she didn’t know what soccer was yesterday but she played with me… sort of…” he turned back to me with his frown in place.



“I actually wanted to talk to you about Kayla… about her being your mate,” he stopped walking his blue eyes, I saw it again, that edge Marlon spoke of. “What about my mate?” he eyed me and I felt like Ben had grown four feet in two seconds. I took a step back, sitting on the warm sand, making this as non-confrontational as possible, “Chelsea told me that she had lots of scars that you saw?” Ben blinked nodding slowly, sitting next to me, his face focused on me while I looked between him and the soft calm morning waves.



“Yeah… she has them all over her hand and her arm,” he showed me where on his own body, “Did… did Chelsea tell you how she got them? Did she get into a car accident?” I don’t think I’ll ever forget the moment where I crushed the hope he had in his eyes right then, his young mind… I shook my head.



“Oh…” he said looking down, fisting the sand, then letting it fall, “So how did she get them then?”



“I want to tell you, but Ben before I do that, I need you to know that if you want to talk to someone about this, I am here to listen to you okay? You are learning something very private and it’s not something that Kayla would like for you to tell other people… do you understand?”



He squinted his eyes, “I – I think so, it’s private so I shouldn’t tell anyone because, it’s not my business to tell?” I could see him trying to work it out in his head, his blue eyes, “Does that mean Kayla doesn’t know I’m going to know?” her followed right up his eye brows scrunched together and I could see that we had hit a bump already. “Well… Kayla might not feel prepared to talk about it, so you shouldn’t bring it up unless she does,” I answered carefully.



“Okay,” he nodded, “how did she get all those scars? Her mom and dad aren’t doing that to her right? Chelsea wouldn’t let her get hurt here on the island…” he said the last part more to himself than anything.



“No, her mom and dad aren’t doing that to her, and you’re right, Chelsea wouldn’t let them continue to hurt her if they were.” He mumbled something as he glanced away.



“Do you remember meeting Rainy?” he nodded, “Well when she was your age someone bad took her, and he hid her away where no one could find her…” his eyes widened.



“Is the bad person gone? Did Chelsea and Gabriel and Lux get them?” This oddly surprised me; I wondered whether or not they were his sense of authority because we were on the island? Or if from now on Ben would see the law only as what his sister and Gabriel said was the law.



“The man who took her is gone yes, but Kayla’s mom, she was locked away for ten years Ben. While she was locked away, she gave birth to her children,” I paused letting the information settle. “So, Kayla was locked away too?” he asked his head dipping down, eyes wide, hand a few inches from the sand. He seemed frozen, but his head snapped to mine waiting for an answer, “Yes, she was locked away too,” I glanced at his hand shaking as it just dropped to the sand, neither moving to grab sand or do more than make a tight fist.



“She doesn’t know a lot of things,” he mumbled.



“That’s right… but she’s learning… she isn’t used to people being nice to her-”



“They locked her away and were mean to her?” I nodded, “Yes… she was hurt in many different ways Ben and she is still learning to be around others,” I said but his face scrunched together. “But she seems fine when it’s girls,” my own eyes widened before I cleared my face, he noted that. “So she is afraid of me?” he asked sadly.



“She isn’t afraid of you, she just is making sure-”



“That I won’t hurt her, she was asking a lot about doing things wrong…” he said and I was a bit confused. “What do you mean?”



Ben clicked his tongue, “well, she asked what would happen if she didn’t stop the ball from entering, she was afraid of doing something wrong, my stomach was turning.” He said confused.



“Why was your stomach turning?”



Ben just shrugged.



“So we can’t play together,” he said sadly.



“No, that’s not true. You know how you can play with Ava, pick her up or hold her hand, or wrestle, shout loudly, or be rough,” he nodded, “Well with Kayla, did you notice that she is quiet and shy?” he bobbed his blonde haired head once again. “She may want to play with you but you’ll have to take things at her pace. After maybe a long time, things won’t seem so hard for her to be around you-”



“But why is she afraid of me, is it because I’m a boy? Because she didn’t seem scared of Ava, Fiona or Quinn…”



I swallowed the bile that crept up my throat, “Did you know that Kayla has lots of brothers and sisters?” – “No.”



“Well she has two brothers your age, as well as nine younger brothers and sisters. They were all born locked away. They’ve never been to school, they never left the place where they were held-” I sighed starting again, “the bad person that took them, brought more bad guys and those bad guys would hurt Kayla and her brothers and sisters everyday.”



Ben cocked his head to the side, “So they would hit her a lot – all of them?” his bottom lip sucked into his mouth and his pointed chin shook, indents forming.



“Yes, they would hit and bad touch them,” I said and his blue eyes watered. I knew he had heard the term “bad touch” before. “All her life?” he asked his voice squeaking and eyes widening. I nodded sadly. “Oh…” he looked down at his thighs before his head snapped up, eyes seeking mine.



“She thinks I’m going to hit and bad touch her? I wouldn’t do that,” he shook his head furiously from side to side. I had to smile sadly, “I know that… and if you be yourself and patient I think that it would make it easier for Kayla to be your friend.”



Ben nodded, wiping at his eyes, “She’s special…” he whispered, “She made flowers grow,” he added, even though those two statements didn’t sound like they were related to each other. I remained silent, just listening to the waves while Ben, gazed at the sand, every once in a while he swiped at his face with the back of his hand, wiping tears away before they made it to his chin. “Saxon doesn’t like that bad people hurt her,” he whispered, after nearly ten or more minutes in silence.



“Chelsea told me that Kayla played with you yesterday…” he nodded, crying silently, “Well I want you to know something, I want you to understand just how hard that must have been for Kayla to do, but she did it,” I stressed, hoping that even at eleven years old he could comprehend.

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Ben POV

Wiping at my face I tried to stay calm, even though inside me, my heart hurt and in my head, Saxon was howling. I understood what uncle Grant was talking about, bad touch, beatings, being locked away never going to school or being outside. I don’t think I had ever met anyone that suffered any of those things, much less all of them at once, “Do you want to go for our run or just head back inside?” Uncle Grant asked me, making me turn to him confused. Run – run, Saxon called out wanting to get out more now than ever before. I wanted to let him out too; I wanted to feel like I did when I was running in wolf form. Nodding I just let the shift happen, going from standing on two feet to falling down on all fours within seconds.



Pacing with uncle Grant we ran two miles from our house, but on the way back, “I’m sure you want to go a bit faster than me, you can run ahead Ben, just go straight home, no side trips.” That was all I needed to hear to race my way home, going a full speed, the already warmed air blowing through my coat, hitting my face as the images aside me blended together.



By the time the sun had truly come up, full in the sky and getting home, I felt heavy in my head and my body. I wondered as I entered what I could do for Kayla, she was afraid I would hurt her. But as I dressed back in my room I remembered Uncle Grants’ words that I should be patient and by myself. Sitting at my desk I hear uncle Grant come home. Then I thought about what he said, what life was like for Kayla, not going to school or knowing what something’s were. A smile on my face on my face I grabbed a piece of paper and reached for the colored pencils Chelsea gave me and began drawing a boat. It wasn’t very real looking but when I explained to Kayla how to do the different drills with my soccer ball, she seemed to actually try it. So maybe a picture of a boat would be nice to go with the way I describe the boat yesterday.



I took my time making sure that I put in some of the things I talked about, the port, hull, cleat and the stern, on the boat. Then when it looked okay, I added water, baby blue sky and sun, coloring every inch of the paper until there was barely any white left. When I was finished I folded the paper into two and picked up the pen.

To: Kayla

From: Ben

Happy I put the drawing in my bag after taking out schoolwork books, and went to Oakley’s room. I knocked waiting for her to answer, “What’s up Benny?” she smiled her hair wet. Stepping back she let me in. “I made a friend,” I blurted out, Oakley laughed, sitting on the chair a comb in her hand, towel in her lap, and began combing her hair out. “What’s his name?” I sighed, this conversation reminded me of being back home, as well as her thinking it was a boy. “Her name is Kayla, she has a gift like you, you know how you have the… blowing electricity one?” I said stumbling not sure how to really explain her gift. She nodded, “Well hers is so cool. She can make plants grow!”



“Really?” her hand stopped mid-air, “Yeah,” I nodded furiously, “Wow,” she murmured continuing to move her hands. I think about what more I could tell Oakley, but decide against a lot of things Uncle Grant mentioned. “She is really shy, and doesn’t like to be too close to people… we played with my soccer ball,” I revealed while Oakley listened, “But what else do you think we could do that’d be fun?” I asked what I came here for in the first place, but suddenly a few ideas of my on came to mind. They wouldn’t be as fun as playing soccer but we could do them together.



“Is she your age?” Oakley asked, “No,” I shook my head, “No, she’s only nine years old,” she hummed. “Maybe coloring… video games… board games… do you know what she likes to do?” I did not. After being locked away I don’t think she knew much or what she liked to do. Saxon growled in my head angry with the reminder of this morning.



“No… I don’t… but those are good ideas,” I stood, “thanks” I added on after looking at the clock. It was around 11am and I knew I had to meet Lux for training, so I started to leaved the room, “Hey… Benny,” Oakley called after me, “Don’t worry too much, you’ve been my best and only friend for a long time so I know you’ll be a good friend to Kayla. Even when you’d just sit with me on the swing in our back yard in Middleburg it made me happy because I wasn’t alone,” Oak said and my face heated. Nodding, I left her room, and went to the kitchen for a bottle of water, then went straight outside waiting on the grassy area for Lux.

When he didn’t show up immediately, I began jogging in place to warm up again, within minutes I had worked up a sweat, the heat was already making it hard to breath. After twenty minutes doing all my warm-ups, Lux jogged up, “You did your pre-work out,” he said but he wasn’t really asking. Panting, I reached for my water bottle, drinking hurriedly, the cool water, “Yes,” I mumbled around the top. I gasped, “Well, I heard that you found your girl,” he said nonchalantly, I nodded.



“I wanted to explain a few things to you, about that connection you’re feeling, and you can ask anything if you have questions. How does that sound?” he said rest back against a huge tree trunk. “Yeah…” I nodded.



“Can she feel it too?” I asked, Lux glanced up to the second floor of our house, before throwing a hand over his shoulder “yes, but lets’ go have this talk at my house,” he said. Turning around I tried to place aunt Julia or uncle Grant. With glass surround the first floor, I waved my hands to get aunt Julia’s attention, pointing at Lux – when aunt Juju nodded I turned back to Lux.



When we were far enough away from the house making our way to his, “How come I knew that she was my mate and my sister doesn’t?” I asked a loud.



“I think their wolves don’t feel that they would react well to the news, so they are letting things build for them in human form,” he said but still shrugged like he wasn’t sure, “As for if Kayla knows? She may know, but she may not, but you and her will feel this connection. You will be able to feel her panic, it won’t be too strong at first but the more time you spend with her Ben, the stronger it will become.” My head bobbed as I listened.



“As of right now though, you know how we spar?” he asked.



“Yes.” I answered not sure where he was going with this. “You and Kayla are connected at the – the first level. That means that when I hit you, she will feel it, unless you block it. You have to but up a barrier so that you can’t feel her and she won’t be able to feel you. It will feel natural after you get the hang of it, but this way you can train and you will not be sending pains to her.” I stopped walking. She can be hurt by us?



Yes, but if you think of not letting that barrier down – “How do I block it?”



“Your bond, think of it as a tether, an actual rope, you should be able to locate it by feeling out. It’s going to be like touching a mass but not seeing. Just close your eyes and concentrate on the connection you feel,” doing as he said I closed my eyes, trying to find what he was taking about, but I wasn’t getting anything.



“Inhale and exhale, try to remain calm, search for that pull you felt yesterday when you knew she was your mate,” my eyes flew opened when after a few moments I finally felt the bond, “You have it?” I nodded. “All you have to do is put a mute on it, like the television is playing, but on mute. You aren’t turning it off, just-”



“Put it in the background?” I said when I did just that. With a smile, “okay,” I nodded. “When you want to put it back on, just find the connection and unmute.” I nodded.



“Every time I train or fight I should put it up? So Kayla won’t feel hurt? Will I feel it if she’s hurt?”



He looked at me, right into my eyes, “yes…” we both continued walking, but my mind was on Kayla, and this new information. I did not ask any questions, but going to an area on the island I had yet been there was a smaller – than our place on the island – sized house. Instead of going to the porch, Lux led me around the side, into his backyard. Unlike all the others, his seemed to be stone, and the further back the more that was exposed.



A pool – unlike the ones I’ve seen on the island or even back home in Middleburg was actually – cut into hard concrete, the back porch overlooking the pool. “Where does the water come from?” I blurted out curiously, pointing to the pool, trying to figure it out for myself.



Lux chuckled and he walked over to the railing almost pointing to a small pad with different switched, three black and underneath them, one red and the other green. Tapping the green, there was a rough shifting sound, loud enough for me to seek out the direction in which it came. To the left of the pool, I walked towards the right to see, a circle maybe 3 feet in diameter near the bottom open up and all the water, drained out, emptying the pool in less that three or so minutes. Pressing the first black button, the hole closed, and he immediately pressed the red, and a hole the same size to the right of me opened, water rushing instantly, filling to the same level the water was before and he closed it.



“How? Where does the water go?” I gaped.



“There is a river that passes underground up here before it appears lower down towards the others, I installed a pipe and filter over there and ran it here, and then the water, when released from the left goes back to the stream.”



“How deep is it? I mean it looks deep in that area,” I pointed the rectangular closest to the wall. It had to be at least ten feet deep.



“A little over twelve feet.”



His house from the outside looked like it could probably fit inside the space he had dug out for the pool, making me wonder, “Have you found your mate?” I asked finally looking away from the pool back to his face.



“Not yet, I’ve been on this island – I was working with Chelsea’s adoptive father and then maybe four years ago I had to stop leaving the island, she wasn’t here,” he said in no particular tone. For some reason I thought of Farrah and Sage, Kiley’s little twin sisters. They were born on the island and had never left either. When we were all playing together they said they always wanted to leave the island, and I guess I could understand, especially when Clover and River had said that they missed a few things – mostly family in the real world. But now that I had met Kayla, I wished she was born on this island too, and not the other way. My lips starts to shake, and I opened my mouth a few times but I just couldn’t make the thoughts in my head settle to say anything back to Lux.



“You can talk to me kid, I know you have Chelsea and Oakley and your aunt and uncle but you can talk to me too,” Lux offers. I look away, “I just wish that Kayla and all her brothers and sisters were born here instead. It’s not just because she’s mine. I hate what happened to Chelsea too, and I hate how Oakley felt back home. It’s not so bad here,” I look out then up at the blue, clear skies.



“You know… you’re pretty smart for a kid,” he joked. I think. “Yeah… It’s because of Oakley,” I replied. His face turns serious, “No, it’s not because of that Ben, you are a pretty great little guy. The way Oakley talks about you, the way you were always on her side, no matter what, and I bet that’s why you was to be Kayla’s mate. We don’t know why some things like this happen, but when they do, we just accept it. And you’ve done so much accepting since you’ve come here and even before then.” He goes to sit down on one of his lounge chairs, I follow to the other, “How are you feeling?”



I turn to him with watery eyes, “Sad and angry,” but I don’t tell him that it’s about more than just Kayla yet someone how Lux knows.



“About everything?”



I nodded, “I’m really angry about my dad too, Lux. Oakley isn’t but I’m mad, and I think about when we – we go back home. I think I’ll still be angry. I think he’s selfish.” I whisper the truth. The thoughts I can’t tell uncle Grant because he’s dad’s brother, and Oakley because she doesn’t see it the way I do.



I wipe at the tears, but my chest hurts, I can’t swallow because it feels like I’m choking on hurt and sadness.



“What are you angry about?” he asks, but is very relaxed, almost like he’s asking if I want to drink something. “He didn’t pick Oakley and me,” I whisper. “I love Sarah and Amelia, but even when I said I would rather be with Oakley he let us go, it was our house. Our home. He brought them and in the end, if anyone should have had to leave it should have been them. He didn’t just not pick Oakley… he didn’t pick me either.”



“But you chose to go with Oakley…” I nodded, “yes, but someone needed too. It wasn’t her fault… I may be younger but it’s different. I had Oakley, but Oakley needed him, and he just let her be sad so that he could be happy. Everyone else was happy but her. I – I-” I bit my lip, “I know he loves us, but he didn’t show her. I didn’t know he was having another baby, but I’m mad about that too. I don’t understand where he was going to put that baby,” I think about our four-bedroom house, and back to what Oakley did. Lux squints his eyes at me, “Why would that matter?”



I jerked my shoulders up, “I have a room, they have a room and then Oakley and Amelia each had their own. He couldn’t put me with Oakley, so that means he’d have to move Amelia and Oakley together in one room so the new baby would have a room. Oakley hates Amelia more than she hates Sarah. That’s why Oakley gave up, that talking doctor like uncle Grant, she said it wasn’t dad or Sarahs’ fault but it was…” I rush to get all my thoughts out.



I stand up, my hands shaking, “And – and I heard uncle Grant saying he felt bad but I don’t think he should because Dad was willing to let Oakley go… he was willing to let her go and think that she wasn’t as important as Sarah and Amelia. She kept saying that she understood, but I don’t. He’s our dad. I know he’s Amelia’s dad too but it’s not the same. I love Oakley so much and I would never make her think she isn’t important but he did!” I shout.



By now I couldn’t stop, I just couldn’t, “And Sarah kept saying she loved us all, but if that was true, if she did love us, she would have left and she didn’t. How can she say she loved us but she didn’t want to just let our dad be with Oakley, and help her?” my chest went up and down quickly, I watched Lux, waiting.



“I don’t have the answers to all your questions but I will say that, you can’t keep all your feelings inside like you’ve done. If you can’t talk to Grant, Julia or Oakley, then find someone. Even Chelsea… she isn’t much of a talker but she is a great listener, or me,” his large shoulders lifted, dropping, “As for your dad… I think he made a lot decisions that he is regretting now. He was in a very tough position and I think since Oakley made it easier for him, he took that because he didn’t want to hurt any-”



“But he hurt me!” I shouted, crying, my chest hurting. “He hurt me,” I whispered again, “And Oakley was already hurting,” I shake my head not understanding.



“Trust me Ben, your dad is hurting as well. I think he was always hurting, but I’m not him so I can’t give you the answers you want or even need, all I can do is tell you that I do think you’re dad was in a tough spot and his decision was the wrong one. But you need to put that aside. Not your hurt or pain you are entitled to your feelings, but fixating on it will only make you angry inside,” I nodded, wiping my face when a sudden coldness took over my body. I shook, and held my body rigid, my stomach turned and it felt like tiny prickles were poking me all over my neck and back.

“Little man?”



I shake my head, “I – I” I can’t even explain what’s happening. “It’s like – I feel different?” I say but it comes out as a question. He nods, “How do you feel?”



“Cold and it feels like my heart is beating fast but my heart isn’t?” I explain as though there is a right or wrong answer to this. Lux nods once again, this time his lips are turned down into a frown, “it is Kayla feeling that way-”



“Is she okay?” I ask but as I’m doing so that feeling of coldness and panic calms and a wave of sadness crashes over me, “I think maybe someone scared her,” I say to myself and let my hand drop to my side. She’s okay here… no one is going to hurt her so maybe someone really did just scare her.



I sit again, “Do you feel like having a session?” I shake my head, “Ok, how about something new. You’re going to have these feelings more, and the easiest way to handle it, is through meditation. You learn to lower your heart rate, slowly respiratory rate and it can help with any anxiety you are experiencing. Your sisters and yourself have to prepare and this can help you remain calm in times where you are under pressure.”



I cocked my head to the side, “Like how you hum and sit on the floor with your hands – or well fingers touching your thumbs?” I asked my voice rising as I tried to imagine a big muscular looking man like Lux humming and forcing his thick fingers together. When he sits on the ground, “It’s something like that but since this is new for you, you just sit quietly and concentrate on something, one point. It can be a sound, or maybe it’s just your body. It will help keep you calm and I really think it would be helpful. I taught Chelsea when I first met her because she was very jumpy and she would get frightened easily.” What was she afraid of? I wondered, but I guess since I saw the scars on her back she had very good reasons to be like he says.



Following his lead I sit, “When I do this I concentrate on my breathing, I don’t try to control it, I just become very aware of my body movement. Do you understand?”



“No…” of course I didn’t, he was just showing me this now, but I left it at a simple ‘no,’ instead. “I want you to close your eyes, and inhale, focusing just on your body as it does the simple task, and exhale.” I do as he says closing my eyes, inhaling and then exhaling, and I continue until I really only start to pay attention to my breathing, until I’m not thinking about Oakley or Kayla or Dad, or anything and the only question I have is why my body sort of moves when I inhale and exhale.



“Okay just think about the way your chest is moving, the way you’re lifting your chest and shoulders up when you inhale, and the calm release when you exhale. You can focus your attention on different body areas, once you’ve gotten to a clear mind space. Feel the way your chest moves, or your belly, or how your ribcage expands…” his voice was getting softer and softer.



“Any time your mind starts to wander back on anything else, that’s not your body, just go back to thinking of your breathing,” each time I mind went where it wasn’t supposed too, I was actually racing back to that ‘no thoughts’ place. Except that wasn’t exactly how it was, I was thinking but just not of things that had to do with Dad, Oakley, Kayla, Chelsea, no one. It seemed pretty much like when you were going to sleep, except a bit more peaceful, instead of thinking and just seeing things from all different ways and wondering what Dad was doing? Was he missing us? What would happen when we got home? Would they be angry? Did that new baby replace Oakley and I? Would he treat me, like he treated Oak when we went home because he had the new baby? After the fifth or so time where I couldn’t keep the focus I sighed opening my eyes.



“I’m not sure its working…” I mumbled rubbing my head. “It’s not something that you can get done easily Ben, but each time that you try, eventually you’ll be able to tune out everything else for longer periods of time.” He encouraged. I just nodded, “Do you have any questions?” Lux asked, I sighed, “Not really.” It’s not that I didn’t have a bunch of questions. It was more that I don’t think I could take more.



I went home walking silently the whole way home, not saying a single word to Lux, or anyone even when I made it home. Aunt Julia is home, Oakley isn’t around so I go right to my room, unable to remain still for even a second, I shower and in the bag that I put the picture for Kayla I put another set of clothes and my ipad. Still a bit dirty I take a shower, I dress my self and head down again, backpack on my back.



“Aunt Juju I’m going to the beach,” even though I’m fairly certain I’m not going there, but just incase Kayla doesn’t want to play I’ll go there after. “Okay Benny, be careful okay?” she turns from the television to face me, “We’re having dinner at Chelsea’s so after four just head to her place,” I nod, already out of the house before she can even turn to face the TV again. Starting on the path, tiredly I make my way to see her, getting excited, as I get closer, following the same route I took with Chelsea.



Heading to the back, I take my backpack off, taking the picture for Kayla hoping she likes it. I start to walk up to the porch so I can knock the door to see if she wants to come out, but stop shocked when I see her in the wicker egg pod bed on the porch. Stilling, frozen to my spot her head snaps to face me, eyes wide, dark underneath, she sighs, holding onto to a grey and white stuffed wolf, it’s head the same size as hers. Slow I take a step, and from the left side I see someone through the glass, her dad is watching.



“Hi… This is for you,” I stick my hand out holding the paper out to her, but not walking any closer, it seems like I’m holding my hand out forever as she slowly comes from the egg bed to take the picture. Opening it, she glances at it then back to me, and I look at her face much better, her eyes are red, the line between her eye and lashes are so red, and underneath the dark circles are darker and seem deeper than yesterday.



“It’s a boat,” I say when she glances between the picture and me again, “I explained and thought I’d draw you a picture, I mean it’s not very good and you could probably get a better one,” I said when I saw that in the little egg-bed she had a tablet as well. Nodding she took a step back, “Thank you,” she put the picture in the pod on the cushion. “You look tired,” I blurt out even pointing at her eyes, “Did you not sleep?” she shook her head. “Oh… you’re probably too tired to play-” I stop and take a step back, thinking of something else when she holds tightly onto the toy wolf. “I’ll be back,” I said leaving my bag on the deck and going down to the grass shifting, into my wolf.

White, with a few gray spots, and black tips of my ears, I try to wiggle myself out of my human clothes, and hear a tiny giggle, as my paw drags my shirt, I roll onto my back twisting myself but only getting more tangled in clothing. I start whining, when it doesn’t come off and the legs of the soft pants I was wearing twists more wrapping around my body. I growl, trying to claw my way out, with no luck.

Earlier the shorts I was wearing just came off easily, not wanting to shift back naked in front of Kayla I try to go away. As I try to do so, my back leg gets stuck in place, held by the clothing and trying to use my mouth to pull it off only makes the knot I’m in tighter. The only thing I can do is roll around like a ball. I stop moving turning my face to Kayla, hoping maybe she’ll help me, although I’m fairly certain she wouldn’t. But maybe if I whine loud enough her dad in the kitchen will come help. That doesn’t happen. I look to where I just saw him and notice he isn’t even there anymore.



Careful to keep my calm, yeah don’t frighten our mate, Saxon echoes. Slowly, I see Kayla doing something that resembles walking to me, and two blinks and she’s actually closer, her blue eyes focused on my face and she has a death grip on that toy wolf. She comes down one step at a time, the blacks in her blue eyes large and focused. I breathe slowly, hoping not to make any moves that would frighten her, until she’s right next to me, bending down, and helping me get untangled.



Her shaky hand touches my fur, making me release a low purring sound from deep inside my belly. Backing away from me, when I get free, I go to all fours and leap up onto the porch, then jump and make myself comfortable in her egg pod.



It takes time, but I put my paws down and my head on them just waiting, keeping my eyes open and focused on Kayla. Until she slowly, seemed to fade right before my eyes, her eyes were squinting in the bright sun, without the sun in her eyes directly and the black circles I figured it wasn’t the sun. Crawling into the egg she propped her tablet against a pillow, and a cartoon show came on. After a second I recognized it was the show Arthur, a PBS show for kids I used to watch when I was six or seven years old. I turned my attention to the tablet deciding that I’d watch it, my eyes getting heavy quickly, the last thing I saw was DW playing a prank on Arthur and his mom telling him to clean his room.

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HERE ARE A FEW QUESTIONS I'VE GOTTEN BOTH IN PM'S AND ON CHAPTERS SINCE THE LAST ONE.

1. How many chapters do I have planned for this story?

- Well Honestly not sure, I know that there will be at least 60.

2. What is Rixile-43? Who is Dr. Fox?

- It is a serum that the Elders have the government using but Logan is the one that will go into doetail about what it is. There are many clues there and to myself it seems so obvious but since no one has guessed I think it's going to be awesome when others get that information. Dr. Fox created Rixile-43.

3. Who took Chelsea's left over blood in the hotel?

- Treznor Crowe > He is a Seeker for the Elders. It was three chapters ago, but you learned of what makes up the Elders arm; Devotees, Seekers, Researchers, Backers, Minions, Unseen and Recuits.

4. In the letter it said she would have five children?

- Yes, but she wrote that letter before she even had any children, I know that's bothering people but I can't give too much away dealing with that.

5. Who is getting what Rings? (As of now, based on what you've read!) Some people seem to think that the rings MUST go to Oakley, Ben, Rainy and others... There will be confirmation on who else but as of now...

Quintessence: Chelsea

Fire: Gabriel

Water: Unknown

Air: Unknown

Earth: Kayla

6. Who is Brydie? Max? Aria? Avena? Saxon? Nyx? Etc... *sigh*

- They are wolf names.

- Chelsea: Aria, Avena & third wolf

- Gabriel: Max

- Oakley: Byrdie

- Kieran: Nyx

- Ben: Saxon

- Ava: Nika

7. Who is Connors Mate?

- Taryn. There are three Pascal girls, triplets. Meadow and Jade are the other two.

8. Was Dominic one of the kids that got punished for teasing Kieran?

- No. While he did nothing to stop it, when Chelsea asked who did the physical stuff, it was in a command. Those that came forward wouldn't have been able to ignore the command.

9. Why was the punishment so little or not strong enough?

- Honestly, while I was writing and thinking about it, I wanted something reasonable especially because this is just the beginning I mean the reason Chelsea and the rest are here isn't even been touched yet. The punishment isn't harsh but it sort of is. She called forward seven other children that hadn't taken part and told them to leave their chores up to those that were being punished. Think of it like being on a farm and having to do more than a days work in that day, plus she put Marlon in charge of making sure that it's done correctly. Why not make it a month or longer? Again, she's there so they can prepare... that means for one month things are going to focused on that when they need to be concentrating on other things. ANOTHER THING, is up until then Marlon has been the one in charge on the island, now that Chelsea and Gabriel are here, this little meeting as well as handling punishment for Brian is setting the tone.

10. What's the deal with the whole dictionary comment in chapter 36.5?

- Oakley has sort of a dry type of humor, she's not as socially awkward as Chelsea, but she is literal. So when Kieran asked who said he was following her? Oakley replied, "Oxford and Merriam-Webster."

11. Will there be a Wolf POV?

- Honeslty I have so many POV's already I'm not sure if I just want to put his if I'm only going to do it once. Most times I make sure a head of time that If I'm giving you another one, that it's one I'm going to use throughout the book. Which is why I never gave a Sarah pov.

12. Is Wolf a bad guy?

- NO. He isn't, but I mean he had so much guilt about his mate and then Logan just dropped that bomb on him like, 'Yo.. you have kids.'

13. How did Wolf not know he had kids? couldn't he feel when his mate gave birth?

- Back in book#2 when I given some detail about this as well as in HFM, he went out on a drop, was gone for a while. She ran away when they were being attacked, and Rainy and Logan ended up at Chris hospital. When she was heading home, she knew she couldn't trust Rian, so she didn't go have her kids there. But she was falling apart so she stopped at Jay's, Rian killed her there. So, that's as much info as I've given on the subject... there will be more but it hasn't been shared.

14. Why are people on this Island so shady? LOL

- Because i'm not sure people are seeing it right... just because they are there doesn't mean they are all holier than now or anything. It means Chelsea has to sort out the people and see who she can say will be a good person to really let in her inner circle. She has to choose people to participate in the absorption... these people on the island are people Jason brought there because they were on the Elders paths. For example we learn why Kieran and Liam are so important... something was done to them along with hundreds others but they were the only ones to survive. And we find that out from the Elders POV. Now coming up, we have Remy and Chelsea talking over the TRUE reason that they were brought to the island. Also I had it this way because Chelsea needed to develop more as a leader, in the first book she was sort of running away from literally anything, not wanting to give orders. Checking with everyone before she made the simpliest little decision, she's slowly stepping into the role she was meant for... Gabriel on the other hand... Chelsea's sorta bringing out another side to him. He was sorta on the fence... had George's training and then his own plans.

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