A/N: Not Edited.

Chapter 40. 5 – Wolf POV

Logan hadn’t contacted me as of yet, in fact each time I tried to reach out to him, I received generic replies, my anger growing but still I worked on what we had agreed on. Setting up in one of my warehouses, so we would let Robert Delaney escape… or so he thought. I had to admit I was starting to wonder if what happened was what truly happened, did that airplane truly have my – have Rainy and her children, as well as my nieces, Chelsea and Cassandra. Logan seemed to be mourning outwardly but when he wasn’t around the Elders, my men said that Logan was acting as though he hadn’t suffered such a great loss.



I stood at my window watching my brother and his children, Jayda and Jaxon outside, he was mourning as well, Rian and Audrey, and on top of all of that Chelsea. He hadn’t done right by her at all, she hadn’t saved Audrey but I knew that he asked and understood why she refused him the way she had. The slight sunlight sending rays on Jayda and Jaxons light brown hair, Jay hunched over on the bench watching them play.



“Where do you want him?” a voice called behind me, I spun to face it – Logan. Two men amid them, a man sagging between them, his head lolling around. I focus my attention on Logan alone, looking at him in a new light, looking for similarities between he and myself. My brown eyes, compared to his sky blue eyes that look the same shade as Laura Christi, but the shape, that is exactly like mine. The hair color, the light brown shade that is similar to my brother outside. “Well?” he asks coldly, he eyes glaring as though he knows I’m seeking out the likenesses. Going to my desk I pull, out the documents showing him the coordinates of exactly where we would be putting this Robert Delaney man, in my warehouse near the Shasta Mountains in northern California.



One nod after seeing the coordinates Logan and his men left, turning on my screen I watched as they left him tied, handcuffed in the cell. I knew he would be returning, but once he did, sitting stiffly I continued staring at him, “How long have you know?”



He glanced at me returning his eyes, “Rainy told me, that asshole Seth,” he spat the name like poison, his sky blue eyes turning cobalt, “he told her and she told me.”



I nodded, “How… I – Laura…”



He eyed me again, and I would have done anything in that moment to know what he was thinking, “You already know the story, from before I told you… no one knew. She left us at a hospital,” he doesn’t say his mother, or my mate and there is no inflection in his tone. I can’t read him.



He snorts, “You know I’m surprised Rian wasn’t working for the Elders… I mean to find out who she was… good thing she’s gone now.” He said looking at me, I rest back, eyeing him as he did with me, the look in his eyes, passing a message I’m not sure how to receive, I hadn’t wanted to hurt my brothers mate after what had happened but this look with Logan. He knew what happened to Rian, but it was more than that, more to his words.



He knew what happened because he played a part in what happened to her. Nothing was going on, on the screen, not with this Robert guy, I couldn’t understand what happened and how Logan’s team was able to get their hands on him when Gabriel couldn’t when he was alive and around.



I wasn’t stupid, all the pieces were falling together for me nicely, I just wouldn’t look, and I refused to give the Elders any trace to follow. I wouldn’t do their work for them; fuck that. Gabriel… Chelsea… all them, they were alive and Logan knew it.



“You need to be careful,” I said not meeting his eyes, I know he won’t bite, a sense of pride washes over me but with it comes disappointment. I had nothing to do with how this man turned out. Gabriel had more to do with who Logan was than I did. To him, I was the man he turned to five years ago for help to find his sister that flat out turned him down. “You can’t talk about Rainy in the present tense, the Elders are sneaky, you don’t know where they have people or even who those people are, you can’t fool them if you’re having slip ups.”



I feel his eyes burning against the left side of my face, “She was a silver wolf,” I murmured, “if you want people to believe what you want them to believe, you refer to her at all times in the past tense.” I turned brown to blue. This time I was passing him the message. When I glanced back at the screen, “They don’t know what you know about Chelsea and Gabriel, but they’ve figured that you have something to do with it…”



“The only thing you have going for you now is that the Elders can’t read your mind, they can’t read the mind of any Colt,” I clarified not expecting him to answer. He doesn’t make a sound but I turn back to face him with a smirk on my face, “You thought I didn’t know? How do you believe they can’t control me, and I was able to build my crew?”



“That’s how you were able to start yours wasn’t it?” I wondered what made him realize his gift. “Rainy, Cassandra and Chelsea they all had it.”



“You heard me telling Chelsea about Wyatt?” I asked and finally he nodded, “Well that is something else he gave our family… besides the ring.” Wyatt… he had planted so many helpful hints, the only problem was I doubt the man had realized just how long it would take for people here on Earth to graced with Chelsea…

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Kieran POV

Her bright green eyes, not a color I had ever seen, not even on this island, bright smile matching as I answered her question, I wouldn’t tell her that I couldn’t read, or that the only book I can remember ever hearing is the one she just finished, and I fight the urge to say, ‘I don’t care what you read just as long as I can hear your voice,’ even though that is exactly how I felt.



“Are you afraid that I’m going to touch you?” she asked trying to figure out just why she should stay away from me, if she was smart she would. She is very intelligent, Nyx chimed in, and speaking to me after refusing to shift back into a form I was most comfortable in.



I shook my head, because it was the truth, I just didn’t think I was good enough to be friends with, no one had wanted to be my friend, I was used to that. I just didn’t understand her or any of my thoughts concerning her.



I had caught her scent, blatantly following her to the beach the very first day, overhearing what my sister and Kiley had told her about me, leaving before she agreed like the others to stay away from me. Running angrily up that mountain, so I wouldn’t have to listen to yet another person talk about how dangerous I was, when in fact the one person that knew just how dirty I was had yet to say a single word to anyone as far as I knew.



Oakley lifted her hand, pushing a few strands of hair behind her ear, still looking at me, trying to figure me out no less, when I didn’t even know where to begin. But she was different, she hadn’t done what others had tried, which I guess is what made it so easy to be around her. She didn’t ask me to talk to her, not once, not even now. She would read, ask questions and sometimes even answer those questions for me, while I just stared at her in confusion. There had to be a trick, she had to be fake, because nearly three years of people either staying away or begging me to be human and talk to them, she still didn’t do that. Nothing changed with how she looked at me, wide green eyes, honest and open.



When she was hurt I could see it. When she was happy, I could tell. So I didn’t understand just why she was so happy to be around me? Why did she seek me out even when I was a wolf, knowing I couldn’t speak? Maybe she just wanted to spend some time with you? And she told you, you don’t think she’s weird…Nyx chimed in again, but that didn’t help, Oakley was perfect, even though she was younger I still saw the way the others looked at her. They thought she was pretty, and she was. My eyes widened at the thought and I waited for Nyx to say something,but he didn’t and so the thought just over took everything.



I didn’t want to think that she looked pretty; because when I did my mind went places I didn’t want it too. I didn’t want to remember what those words meant in facility. Suddenly, I stood again; backing away from Oakley and the chair I was on, is that why Chelsea and Gabriel wanted me to come here? That had to be why… they didn’t want me to hurt Oakley like… I wouldn’t do that though. I wouldn’t hurt her.



“Kieran,” Oakley called standing again, more of her weight on her good leg, but her face full of concern for me, “Please don’t go,” she whispered sadly as I took a step back, closer to the stairs. I froze to my spot when I saw the tears in her eyes form, confused more now that ever. People cried when they were hurt or sad… going and staying away from me made her sad? That couldn’t be right.



She took step trying to come closer, but one head shake and she stopped, “Sorry…”



I couldn’t – why couldn’t she understand? She was making this harder… everyone else had made it so easy, staying away from me, giving me my space, knowing that I was no good, even though they didn’t know all the bad things I had done. You didn’t want to do those things, Nyx said but we still did them and that’s all that mattered. No one knew what I had done, but when they did, Oakley wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore. She wouldn’t want to come see me, read out loud, or talk to me; she would look at me like everyone else.



“It’s better to be alone,” I murmured but in the quietness here, it was like I shouted the words at the top of my lungs. Oakley looked away, sitting once again she nods, “I used to think that too… because it’s easier. You don’t like me do you?” my stomach turns, twists and sinks when her voice registers, when the words are absorbed. I blink. I know that tone.



‘When are mommy and daddy coming for me?’ I asked the man sitting in the chair watching me in the cage. It had been so long, I just didn’t know how long but I had cried myself to sleep many times. I still asked, I knew they were looking for me.



‘Can you tell them I’m sorry I went outside alone, even though I know I wasn’t suposta?’ I asked because after much more time mommy and daddy didn’t come and that was why. I was bad and didn’t listen.



‘They aren’t coming for me,’ I said a loud to myself after even more time, they didn’t need me; I wasn’t good like Connor or Dominic.



Blinking rapidly, my chest seizes, and I’m struggling to pull air inside, as the memory clashes with the present. “Oh… god… Kieran?” I hear through a fog, a layer that swaddles me, not releasing me. “I – I don’t know – Kieran are you okay?” the voice calls me and I can’t pull myself from the memory, but I hold onto the voice. I claw at my neck, close my eyes and then I hear it the most beautiful voice, clearing the fog, bringing me back to the present.

Somewhere over the rainbow way up high,

There’s a land that I heard of once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue.

And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.

Someday I’ll wish upon a star

And wake up where the clouds are far

Behind me

Where troubles melt like lemon drops

Away above the chimney tops

That’s where you’ll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly

Bird fly over the rainbow. Why then, oh, why can’t I?

If happy little bluebirds fly, beyond the rainbow,

Why, oh, why can’t I?

My knees weaken and I fall probably clumsily to the floor, pulling my knees up to my chest, rocking back and forth as Oakley sings and the images of white walls, and silver bars disappear. Standing six feet away, she looks at me worriedly, pained and I feel wetness on my cheek. Humiliation swallows me hole, “Are – are you okay now?” her voice shakes as she sit in the chair nearest to her.



I can’t do much, but I barely have the energy it seems to give her a brief nod, she doesn’t speak and I’m fairly certain it’s because she has no idea what the hell just happened. Not that I’m much more educated on the occurrence. My breathing skips and the gasping turns to low pants, until the silence is much too loud, “Why did you sing?” I ask to get attention off of me. I bring my hands up quickly to wipe away traces of weakness. Crying never changed anything. I knew that. I waited but when Oakley didn’t answer, I finally looked up at her to see her own tears. I swallowed hard, she shouldn’t cry, I didn’t like it. Maybe she’s hurting just like you are so she’s crying, Nyx answered me but I brushed him off.



“Are you crying because of me?” I blurt out, “You shouldn’t waste your tears, it doesn’t change anything,” I mutter but she shakes her head. “I – I – I guess I never realized how freaked out Ben must have been… I used to have panic attacks all the time… especially at night and Ben would sing that song to me, I think because it’s the only one he knew…”



“I hated being alone… but I didn’t know who I could trust, because I didn’t know who shot my momma,” her bottom lip is shaking and I feel new things. Strange things. Things I’ve seen others do here on the island. Hold each other, but I can’t even do that. Maybe she just wants you to listen… “Then – I made myself forget. I didn’t – I don’t recall deciding to do that but one morning I woke up and stopped remembering. I knew she wasn’t coming back, but I just didn’t think about it.” She says picking at her dress hem, “ I never told anyone, but I hated being alone but no one wanted to be my friend,” she shrugs but the tears are there, “I was really sad for a long time until…” I was paying attention no, she didn’t tell anyone but she was telling me? I wanted her to look at me like she was before, I wanted to see her eyes but she wasn’t doing that and I wished I could touch her face and make her look up at me but that thought and need makes me hold onto my knees tighter than before. I didn’t want to be like that, I didn’t want to make her do anything she didn’t want to do. Like she doesn’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to do… Nyx pointed out giving me much to think about later.



I did hate being alone, but since Oakley had come here she made me feel different, not normal, I would never be normal. I wouldn’t be a good friend to Oakley but I had to admit that I did like that she wanted to spend time with me. “No one wanted to be around me, so I studied a lot…” she continued softly, but I was in shock. I couldn’t understand why she didn’t have many friends; I knew why people were staying away from me, but her? Didn’t make sense.



We were quiet for a long while, I had long stopped rocking and she only had sniffles, “You don’t have to be my friend if you don’t want Kieran. I don’t think you’re going to hurt me I think if you were going to do that you already would’ve,” she said her voice wavering. I didn’t answer, I didn’t know what say, and nothing was making sense. I couldn’t decide if this was just another trap or if I could trust Oakley?



It wasn’t a trap… but I also couldn’t trust her. Even if she’s trusting you? Nyx questioned, everyone has surely told her to stay away from you, that you are dangerous, but here she is… with you.



Maybe she’s broken… she wants a friend so bad she doesn’t care that she’s picking from the bottom – a pity friendship. I wouldn’t make a good friend, I couldn't joke or even do all the fun things the others did here, and it’s better to stay alone. Keep my guard up.



Lost in thought I only noticed that she was leaving when she walked past me slowly, her leg much better now, but she was still wearing a funny looking boot.



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After Oakley left, I inhaled deeply staying on the bottom floor of the library, her scent still strong until eventually I smell leather and the faint scent of ink. I wanted to go after her, I might not think she should be around me but she wanted to be. I didn’t get it though; no one wanted to be around me. I was only holding her back, but she could pull you forward, Nyx gave his two cents on the matter but I didn’t budge.



I don’t even know why she’d want to be around me when she’s so smart, nice and clean, not like me. I did like that she didn’t touch me, even though she said she wanted too. She had good self-control like me, I remember wanting to touch her hair when she visited me on my mountain; but I didn’t. She didn’t look at my scars and show fear. I liked the way she smelt too… and her voice…



I didn’t even like to be around people very much, and people wanted to be around Oakley, she’s new here and that may explain why she wants to be my friend but I know that once she does more, she won’t even have time to read out loud with me. My shoulders sag, I was going to miss that.



Then there was the most important factor of all, I couldn’t even help Oakley when she got hurt, and I didn’t help her. I’d never had a friend but I knew that if you were friends, you looked out for each other. You did… you tried to make her stay on the mountain, Nyx reminds me but I know the truth. Trying to stop her was just the bare minimum of what I could’ve done to keep her safe. It was an accident Kieran, she miss-stepped and fell, you didn’t push her! Nyx comments again.



I couldn’t comfort her, I didn’t even know how to do that, Kieran, this has to stop, weren’t you listening to what Oakley said? She said you accept her for who she is! She is trusting you, blindly so, without even worrying about what others have told her… she came to you to form her own opinion. You may not understand why or what she will get by being your friend but that doesn’t mean you can dismiss how she feels. Just because you do not understand something doesn’t mean you can’t accept it until you do, until you see why… Nyx said and I had to admit that in my chest something was bubbling up, it was new… it hadn’t even been long since she left the room and I was already wondering what she was doing. Probably reading a new book, I thought sadly.

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