A/n: NOT EDITED.

Someone said that I should have written this from Chelsea POV, I actually sorta agree with that because THAT is sorta the beauty of her POV's, she can describe the scene, with everyone's thoughts, so it's not so one sided... But everyone.... thanks for reading and enjoying... I love those of you that are team #OakRan/#Kierley (lol)

Someone (well a few) asked if I would be translating my story...?? Well... uhm... what language? it might sound dumb but I thought that if you were reading this else where that it was translated automatically to whatever you as a reader chose (lol). As I'm typing this I would like you ALL to know I'm laughing at myself now that I'm actually voicing that thought... SMH @ myself lol.

anways, enjoy :)

Chapter 41.5 – Kieran POV

There were a lot of things that happened in the facility, but none of them were good, kind, loving or pleasurable at all, I came to know that unbelievably fast. The people in those places weren’t kind, and pleading didn’t help, crying until my throat was raw didn’t help. Those that were particularly vicious and were something right out of hell, well they loved all that. Yet you never knew who you’d get when they came, were you getting one that wanted you to beg, tell them what you did wrong, beg them for the punishment you deserved or were you going to get the ones that wanted you quiet. That would inflict pain that left your skin raw to the touch, that even mere air caused you to whimper, but they wanted you to not utter a single sound.



Were you going to get the ones that like to use their hands? Or were you going to get the ones that used objects you’d find inside a home? Did they choose items that made a sickening sound as it cut air, before it even hit your skin? Would the object burn? Sting? Feel like millions of tiny pricks all at once?



I blinked twice, swallowed thickly as Oakley held out her hand to me, realizing I wanted to touch her, I wanted to hold her hand. I could do that… I longed too… she wasn’t wearing shocking gloves, or the black ones they used at the facility because I was too dirty to touch. They didn’t have anything I could smell that would make me itch, no open cuts, and her hands looked soft. I spent what I knew was a long time just staring at them, deciding if it would be safe, when I looked back at Oakley I was sure I’d see her impatience but her face hadn’t changed at all, she still looked hopeful that I’d want to hold her hand.



“Nothing is going to change or happen if you hold my hand Kieran,” she whispered sure of that statement, but I knew better, you don’t though, you only know what those people did to you, forced you to do, Nyx contradicted me; it wasn’t the first time but he was very persistent lately.



I reached forward, keeping my eyes on Oakley’s, open and welcoming, a small smile of encouragement, while I just had so much in my head that I couldn’t concentrate on one thing. The thudding of my heart, the beating I could hear right behind my ear that seemed to be quickening. It’ll be okay Kieran Nyx coaxed me. “Why don’t you try this instead?” her other hand came up, her index finger traced from the tips of her middle finger down to her wrist, softly, just ghosting over. “This way you can see nothing bad will happen if you touch me… I won’t even grasp your hand, just – I’ll be very still…” again she said with a hopeful smile and I had to admit that did sound better than holding her hand, just touching her with one finger so I could see nothing bad would happen. “Then I can do the same to you, no one will get hurt,” I found myself nodding, even though I knew it would.



With my index finger, I ghosted a finger down to Oakley’s wrist, slowly feeling the soft skin beneath my single finger. I pulled my hand back when I felt an energy, a nice feeling, starting over again, when she nodded I continued, my finger dipping into the middle of her palm, finishing the path to the tips of her middle finger. I did it again, nothing happened… I thought utterly confused, why wasn’t there any pain? I put my hand down back on my own thigh finally looking back at Oakley. Her lip turned up on the right into a smirk, “How was that?” she asked with a smile, trying to tone it down, I frowned and her smile dropped as well.



“It didn’t hurt,” I answered, thinking back to the last time someone touched me in human form, the shock I received that hadn’t just happened. “Of course it wouldn’t, touch isn’t supposed to be painful Kieran.” Then why did it hurt before? What was I doing wrong before? Even as I stepped back into the Luna there was an unpleasant shock.



“My turn?” I blinked at her, nodding slowly, my eyes on her face as she lifted the same hand I touched and lowered it so that her index finger could ghost over my sick. I gasped, the air leaving my lungs in a rush, it was heavenly, and it felt like I could feel that single touch everywhere. “See not so bad? Right?” Oakley asked much less tense than I was, her eyes on mine each time her finger started at my wrist again she traced over the raise ugly skin in the palm of my hand.



The questions were in her eyes; she bit her lip, her eyes squinting as though I by touching me alone she’d know what happened to me, how I got that particular scar.



Each time she started at my wrist again, a guttural sound, deep in my chest rumbled, and my eyes welled, overwhelmed with confusion and the ringing voices in my head, ‘you’re making me do this, you couldn’t even follow my simple instructions,’ the same sneers, ‘you think you’re parents are going here for you? They aren’t, they didn’t want you Kieran, you didn’t listen to them,’ my lip shook. I remembered the zap I felt, and I closed my eyes, again and again I remembered each zap, my small body shaking, weakening and unable to stand still.



The doctor continued talking, mentioning mom and dad, a boy named Connor, another Dominic, names that were just that to me by now, I didn’t even know who these people were but I knew they weren’t where I was. I was bad, and they were good.



“You aren’t bad Kieran,” I heard Oakley said, my eyes snapped open, darting around the room, cream walls replacing the white ones in my mind. I gasped softly, “Oh…” looking down to see that my large ugly hand was fully in Oakley’s smaller clean hands, one over and under. Her thumb moving back and forth, she gave me a tight smile, her eyes wet. Swallowing, I looked down again at her holding my hand, enjoying it, but not understanding.



My bottom lip was quivering, I sighed, “I – I don’t want…” I stopped trying to concentrate but all I could focus on was that Oakley was holding my hand, gently moving her thumb back and forth. My chest felt so heavy and full, my stomach was turning, and my mouth turned watery, bile crept up.



“It’s okay, just relax, we can just sit for a while,” she offered patiently, sniffling. I didn’t deserve this, no one was supposed to touch me, it just wasn’t possible, but she was and it didn’t even hurt. Even though I was bad and dirty she wanted to touch me. I felt weak, but I rest back against the sofa, my head leaned back, “I don’t think I should tell you – tell you how I got them,” I knew she would ask why, and I’d tell her because it’s too bad, too much. The truth was, I didn’t deserve her friendship, and I didn’t deserve her.



She swallowed so loudly, I turned my head to face her, my fingers flexing in her hand, but then I curled them back holding her hand in mind. She moved closer until her knee was five inches from the side of my thigh, “You were saying that you were bad, I don’t think you’re bad or mean. Everyone said that you’re dangerous but I know the truth, and I’m not going to let them stop me from being your friend. I don’t think I deserve a friend either, but my Uncle Grant, we talk a lot since I’ve come here. You wanna know what he told me?” she said again her tone so soft, her eyes looked wider than I had ever seen them, she waited for me to give her an answer.

I liked that, I liked that she didn’t push me, that she would give me choices. It would be good that way so I wouldn’t mess up so often.



So I nodded, “I don’t like to look at myself… I didn’t like to even-” she stopped abruptly her face flaming red. “I look like my mom, my skin tone is like hers, ben is like my father, I didn’t look like anyone else in the family, so when I would walk past a mirror I would close my eyes so I wouldn’t have to see myself. I like the place we live on the island, but I hate that I can see my reflection everywhere; my bathroom has a huge mirror that I can’t avoid…” she looked away.



“Anyways, Uncle Grant said that I should think of the littler me, like when I was little and just started looking much more like my mom, and think good things about myself for her. That I’m important now, but if I can’t see that I should do it for the younger me that was hurt by daddy ignoring me, and everyone talking about me,” she hunched over with a heavy sigh. Without thinking I sort of leaned forward waiting for her to continue because I didn’t see where she was going with this.



“Down stairs you were mumbling that you were a bad boy, that it was your fault even just now… you might not think you deserve a friend, but what about the little you inside?” my body stiffened, “I mean – well Tera said that you were kidnapped… so those people that took you they told you when you were little that you were bad, even though it’s not true. They were wrong for even taking you,” she said angrily, “But I know those people that took you weren’t nice and you didn’t have anyone… no friends and you were little, wouldn’t you like that old you to have a friend? I mean I wish little me had a friend,” she finished less sure.



I looked away, little did she know that little me was bad and that’s why I was taken, “I don’t know how to read,” I blurted out instead. Ashamed I looked down at my thighs, trying to pull my hand from hers but she didn’t let go and well I wasn’t really trying so I gave up, enjoying the warmth in her hands for a bit longer.

“The people that took you didn’t teach you?” she asked carefully, sounding unsure.

I shook my head, “Well if you want to learn Aunt Julia can teach you,” she shrugged, I shook my head, I knew how stupid I was, that’s why they never taught me – “I can’t do it,” I whispered, no need to have more people in her family witness to my failure.

“It’ll be hard but you can, I know you can,” she said confidently nodding, the smile I liked on her face. I was already a disappointment in so many ways, I know I wouldn’t be a good friend and I didn’t want to fail her anymore, so I just nodded even though I just knew I wasn’t smart enough to learn to read. I wiped at my face with the hand she wasn’t holding. My breathing back to normal, but there was something I couldn’t understand; there was a feeling that had covered me from head to toe. I couldn’t remember ever feeling this way, not in my life at the facility and I’m sure that if I could recover my memories from before I hadn’t then either.

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Chris POV

I was probably the only father on the planet that would want a boy to be near their daughter. In fact I remember when dad was introduced to Nico, Lucy was already twenty-two years old and no longer a baby, but she was his baby.



I watched as Ben walked away from my baby and it was so noticeable that she was retreating again that I nearly ran after him and chained him near Kayla.



Again something I’m sure no other father was thinking.



It was irrational, it was so far out from normal, but sleep deprivation had come to mean a whole new thing to me and I went to medical school many times, I endured surgical residency – three times – in my long life. Sleepless nights studying, long drawn out surgeries that would keep me away from my family; but this was worse. I never got a day off, and with twelve children, eight of who couldn’t sleep without a nightmare or whimpers in their sleep I was exhausted.



We slept in planned and assigned intervals. We didn’t want to give them medication to put them so far into their sleep that it was like a coma. The alternative that had been working for nearly a week. We found was waking them from restless sleep before the shrieks of agony kicked in. keeping them awake for brief periods and letting slip into slumber.



I shook my head, gazing as Kayla lifted the spoon, filling it with some soup and brought it to her mouth, “Did you like spending time with Ben?”



“Saxon,” she murmured the wind was louder than her voice. I blinked; Kayla never gave information unless she was asked something directly. I wanted to reward her for just saying that on her own. That was what we were doing to help them acclimatize in the real world.



Praising when they behaved or completed a task, in short terms we were reconditioning their fragile minds. They wanted cues and structure, unsure of what they were allowed to do or what was appropriate but just a simple praise went a long way. It would be something they knew as okay to do. The process was fairly tedious but I didn’t… we – Rainy and I – didn’t mind doing that so they could grow.



“Saxon?” I questioned even though I knew that it was probably the name of his wolf. That her wolf told her that, but again to draw her out I acted like I needed her to explain to me.



She nodded scooping more soup and bringing it to her mouth, “That is his wolf name,” she reached for her juice. “Oh did he tell you that?” she shook her head, pausing before bringing her finger up to her skull and tapping, “my wolf.”



“He drew me a picture,” the words again soft and calm, she pointed to it where it rested on top of her tablet. Again I smiled at her sharing, “Oh what is it of?”



“He is building a boat, he told me what it was yesterday but today he drawed the picture of one,” I smiled at her, “that was very nice of him… maybe you can draw something for him,” I said not sure if that thought had crossed her mind or not. She still didn’t join Chelsea’s pack, not that she needed to since Chelsea could read her thoughts Rainy informed me. So as of now, Kayla’s mind was a mystery… to us.



“What would I dra-” she stopped midsentence her eye flying to the soccer ball, and my bottom lip shook minutely, I forced all my emotions to the side, “his soccer ball.”



I couldn’t show my anger, wouldn’t do it now, I repeated my mantra.



It was moments like this where I saw just how amazingly caring and loving, and just brilliant Kayla was.



That man made her afraid of her own goddamn shadow, I wonder for the briefest of moments, what she would have been like had none of this happened.



Then I stop. I don’t know how to even deal with the two parts of myself.



The man that saw the suffering of his children and mate, the struggle they were facing each and everyday that would continue for who knows how long, but can’t seem to even wish they had never been born. The other side of my self sees the opposite, we might not have had the children we had now – who know – but if none of this had happened, those children would be happier. More often that not, I was the man that wanted one percent of the latter, and was ninety nine percent of the other.



I tried not to get lost in that debate often.



No ‘what if’s.’ As a doctor I told patients or their parents, doing that would drive them mad, sometimes there was no answer that could settle the dust. No answer that would make time go back, or give you a complete do-over. You just had to take what you were given after the storm and make it, mold it to what you wanted.



Take the pieces and make something new out of something old.



Rainy says that nothing can be worse than what she endured, but then I look at Logan, and I think I’m sure he would beg to differ. Death might have led her to some peace from the life she led for ten years, but not if our children were left with Seth on their own. Death would have been worse for Logan, gone from this earth leaving him with no answers of just what happened. Bit by bit it would have ate away at him, at me as well.



“You want to take a swim later?” I asked when she was close to finishing her meal.

“No… can I come when you and momma take your walk?” she asked with big blue eyes. A bit of the tiredness had faded away. My eyes widened, “You know we take walks?” I asked her smiling as she ducked her head after nodding. We had begun doing that back home, but now on the island, every night before bed, Rainy and I would take a walk alone. Sometimes we were silent, both lost in our own thoughts, just enjoying the feel of having her next to me, her hand in mines. “You can come,” I told her.



I enjoyed that time alone with Rainy, of course, however it wouldn’t change the activities if Kayla joined. Especially when we sometimes strapped on the baby carriers and took Michelle and Nicole with us, “Can I run?”



I blinked again, wondering if I heard her wrong… “Run?”



She nodded, “in my wolf?” okay so I didn’t hear her wrong.



Kayla since her first main shift had yet to really shift again, I nodded dazed and happy that she asked.

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Chelsea POV

Furious, red-hot rage engulfed my entire self, not an inch of me was at ease or calm to what I just witnessed with Kieran. Accidently he bumped into me when Mikael came down the stairs, startling him. To me it was as though a human had walked into me, I felt no spark, no danger, however Kieran, he was shocked. Not startled, literally his mind behaved as though he were electrocuted.



‘No one is going to hurt you, Kieran.’ I murmured, Oakley stood to come to my side as well, while Gabriel ushered the on lookers out of the room.



‘Lie.’ He muttered rocking himself.



‘Do you know why I’m doing this?’ He was remembering something from the facility.



Kieran they aren’t here! His wolf shouted but Kieran was blocking him, hearing him below a mental fog.



‘You’re safe.’ Lie, he thought at Oakley’s words, ‘no good… bad… sorry… I’ll be good,’ he pleaded making my stomach turn further. Emotional neglect – anxious – no touching – living on the mountain… Grant’s thoughts sticking out.



‘Hands against the wall,’a man shouted, wearing a mask, the telltale sign of a belt buckle.



When he finally pulled himself together enough to stand, he only repeated those same words, his entire frame shaking. Oakley was ready to chase after him, holding out my hand I held her back, “Give him a minute,” I said but when my mind caught up to my hand, I realized her front was wet. “What happened?”



She flushed, “I was startled when he shouted, dropped water on my front,” she shrugged distracted, “Go to my room and change into something else and then you can go see him, but Oakley,” she took a step away from me ready to high tale it to Kieran. I waited until she was concentrating on me solely, her frightened eyes searching mine, “If he wants to be left alone for tonight, can you please respect that? Give him some time?” she swallowed nodding, I promise if he doesn’t want to be around me I’ll come right down, she finished knowing I could read her mind.



Scars all over his body, Grant continued silently. Severely abused… wants to be alone…



She left the kitchen with her copy of the letter from our mother I gave her. Instead of reading it to them, I made a copy for each of them, placing it in an envelope giving them the option of whether or not they read it and when. Slowly, I turned to Ben, Grant and Julia while Gabriel came to me, “I just – I want to kill those fu-” I cleared my throat lifting a brow and tilting my head to point at Ben. Gabriel stopped instantly, “Sorry, but…” he huffed and Grant just nodded. Julia and Grant sat down, Gabriel and I joined them, but their eyes were concentrated on where Kieran ran off too, and Oakley followed. ‘Kieran said he doesn’t want to be my friend,’ – he’s pushing Oakley away…



“Is she safe?” Julia asked Grant, his eyes darted over to Ben, and he nodded without even having the gift of reading Kieran’s mind. Nonno and Nona, remained with us, and Nonno cleared his throat, “So young child, what did you do today?”



Much to my surprise Ben’s face reddened, his eyes went wide, “uh – I – well” he glanced at Grant and Julia, “I went to see my mate,” he whispered as though he would get in trouble for doing so. “I drew a picture and went to give it to her, and see if she wanted to play…” he shrugged, focusing now on his meal.



“What happened after you gave it to her?” Nona asked, Grant and Julia, Gabriel and I listened with rapt attention knowing what we did about Kayla, but seeing his thoughts I just… I knew why Kayla was his.



“When I went her eyes were really black,” he touched his own face, “right here and red, she looked so tired,” he paused, “So I changed to my wolf and we took a nap.” His answer clipped, his face was so red by now, and I didn’t understand just it could glow anymore but it did.



“That was very considerate of you, very thoughtful,” Nona praised him and I nodded.



I continued listening to Oakley and Kieran, giving them my full attention for the time being. When we finished eating Oakley and Kieran were still upstairs, but listening I stopped breathing when I heard her offer him her hand in support, his thoughts killing slowly inside. I agreed with Gabriel, I couldn’t wait to get the Elders and these people who thought it was okay to hurt any child this way, the way they had Kieran. My vision blurred as I put my dish in the sink, Grant came up to me, Gabriel, Julia, Nonno, Nona and Ben gone when I turned around.



“You can read his mind?” Grant asked his face pinched, he rested against the side of the sink. I nodded; please tell me I’m not on the right trail here Chelsea? My lip trembled, I shook my head, and the devastation I felt, the drop in my stomach was mirrored in Grant’s features.



“What do you think? Not as her uncle, but as a psychologist?”



Grant nodded, but before he could begin to tell me anything I sitffed, Chelsea! I heard Chris shouting at me in my mind panicked.

Order her to stop Chelsea! she's going to kill that boy!

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