A/N: uhm... this is not edited and I had a bit of a migraine so there may be more mistakes than normal, I just wanted to post something.

Enjoy.

Chapter 46 - Chelsea POV

I was sitting across from Marlon and Helen Hayes, "Who's her mate Luna?" Helen whimpered. I had been keeping tabs but I believed that it was on the wrong child at the sleepover a few nights ago. Marlon knew, he knew I had information on his Kiley, who was still refusing to say what happened and just whom her mate was.



I had been expecting Kayla or even Kieran to be the ones that had night terrors, but to my surprise, around one a.m. Oakley had shouted for me, since Kiley was on the ground rolling, shrieking and surprisingly not waking Ben and Kayla. Taking her outside, I waited until the shrieking stopped with her, Oakley and Tera looking on frightened.



Kiley was getting her wolf, in fact hers was at the same rate as Oakley, and unlike Oakley she knew who her mate was now.



I sighed, thinking of just the state that Kiley was in, nothing like the happy girl I saw playing in the pool with Oakley, "Did he reject her?" Marlon asked me sadly, his head running through possible teen boys that he would be throttling for hurting his baby.



"What if I give up my wolf?" Kiley murmured, what?! Helen thought, give up her wolf?



"Can you change me back after I give it up?"



Shaking my head, "No, you'd still come back with the same wolf."



"Can I be excused?" she barely choked out the light in her eyes gone.



"Just wait outside for us, dear," Helen whispered.



Before they could ask me again I wanted to know something, "Did you guys have a talk with everyone on the island about Mates? How it works as well as ranks and the different types of mates?" I kept it all broad.



"Of course..." Marlon answered and I believed him.



"Kiley's mate didn't reject her in the traditional sense," they glanced at each other, before focusing on me. "My biological father is a Beta, he changed and mated Rian, but she wasn't his true mate, however that connection he shared with her, lasted until the day she died because he was a Beta."



The blank stares on their faces remained, "Even though he mated with Rian, when my mother came along, he knew and still wanted her, despite having changed, marked and mated with Rian."



Her mate already - he's an adult already mated with someone else? Marlon thought his eyes hard and filled with blackness, anger. Already has a family... he continued. However his assumption was completely incorrect.



Hey Oakley?



Yes?



Can you take Kiley to the library please?



Sure, I could almost see the shrug that came with her reply. Waiting for them to leave, Remy send them in, I ordered the two people Marlon wasn't suspecting. As of now, Gabriel, Marlon, Helen, Oakley and Kiley were the only ones that knew about this situation, or so her parents thought. While Justine - Kiley's older sister - didn't know, Hunter Mabry was fully aware of this situation now.



"I'm going to bring in two people, say nothing." I told them rather than commanded, just as Remy opened my door, sending Justine and Hunter inside.



"Luna you called us?" Justine came in confused, but one look at Hunter, his suddenly pale features, he knew.



Marlon and Helen glanced between their daughter, the man she claimed as well as me, uncertainty their main facial expression.



"Please... sit..." with a slight smile Justine sat, Hunter next to her, his heart racing.



"I was just speaking to your father and mother, about mates," I began, "wondering if the children born on the island here understood the workings of mates when it came to those in rank..."



"Rank?" Justine asked confused.



"Yes, as in, if you're mate is an Alpha or Beta, or carries those genes, when he or she finds their true mate, regardless of who he or she is with that mate bond is very much still active." She shook her head, pursing her lips, "No, why does that matter?" she asked me turning to her parents, then back again, and I could literally see when Helen and Marlon both put the pieces together. Why Kiley wanted to give up her wolf... the rejection that wasn't common, but insinuated.



"Who is your mate Justine?" she beamed at me, "Hunter," she said with such pep and freeness. "Oh god..." Helen whimpered.



"When did you two find out you were mates Justine?"



She smiled again, "We were together when we were younger, it's like we just knew, and then we shifted when we went on a camping trip."



"Is Hunter your true mate?" the smile dropped and she looked at Hunter with a side-glance, "Is he your true mate?" Marlon demanded. She shook her head, "but we love each other, we - decided together... we waited until we knew for sure that neither of us had our mates on the island, we had the party, when neither of us-"



"Hunter who is your true mate?" I cut Justine off. "We didn't know..." he whispered pained, "Hunter?" Justine rasped out.



"Kiley... is my true mate," he closed his eyes, his body sagged and both mother and daughter whimpered letting out their cries each for a different reason. "Justine and Helen get out, now!" I commanded, already working out on a plan since that night. Whimpering both women left, although I could see the wolf that had bonded with Hunters didn't want to leave, Helen had to drag Justine on.



"How long have you know that Kiley is your mate?" I asked once they left.



Hunter shook his head, "Not very, just a few days..." I nodded.



"Her wolf has already accepted your rejection..." his frame shook, his wolf was fighting for dominance, "While Justine was unaware of your bond because of your unclaimed title, were you aware that your bond with your true mate wouldn't be broken?" his thoughts were honest, as his words.



"I knew... but Luna, we were born on this island, the people coming here were far and few, we - I - didn't think I would get my mate when I entered the hall that night after what Justine and I discuss," I nodded.



"Kiley accepted your rejection, however I don't feel it's fair that she is punished when you chose to be intimate with your selected mate..." I started off after seeking advice from Mother, and even thinking about my own mother, the pain she suffered because of Jay.



"I can't tell you whom to pick, you already have, either way someone would get hurt, if you were to decide you wanted Kiley when she was of age, you hurt Justine. If you continue on with Justine, Kiley suffers because of a decision you made, the two of you made selfishly."



"From now on you will carry the burden of your decision, not Kiley." I said sitting back, pleased with the decision I made, the solution I was able to devise for the time being, that is.



Marlon's face went from jaw clenched, eye twitching and nose flaring to puzzlement. "I don't understand Luna..." Hunter said.



Getting my laptop, I pulled up video feed of what Kiley endured the night of the sleepover, turned the screen to Hunter and pressed play, when it was done he looked positively green, eyes wide and fearful, "She felt that pain because of your actions, there is no reason why an innocent girl should suffer while you are free to do as you please, follow your heart as you have... so from now on, instead of her feeling those pains, you will feel them instead," I said brightly. When I learned of this - that Kiley's mate was in fact mated by his choice to her sister - Gabriel mentioned just how similar this was to the Fae's he knew - Etta.



Her mate Kaden, had nearly been in this situation with his wolf mate - but he was now happily with a new mate. "You can go..." I waved Hunter off.



Shaking his head, he opened his mouth, closing it immediately, "How - how long will I be carrying the burden?" he whispered but it was strange because he already knew. He just wanted me to say it out loud, "How long did you believe your mate would have carried that burden of you mating with another?" I just countered. He knew the answer; I didn't need to spell it out for him.



"Thank you Luna," Hunter said surprising me. Kiley won't suffer, I cocked my head to the side in understanding, "I can't break your bond Hunter, I don't have the power to do that, but what I can do is make sure Kiley never suffers that pain she has once already. However, that ache of knowing that her mate doesn't want her, that he chose her sister over her, I can't erase that, you were selfish, eventually her wolf is going to die and if she is tightly wound in that connection, you've signed her death warrant," his eyes widened.



"When her wolf dies, your wolf will mourn her, it doesn't matter that you've marked Justine, your bond with Kiley will always trump that choosing..." he nodded, Marlon sat there silently, fuming inside long after Hunter left hunched over from my office.



"She's never lied to me, not about a single thing," he whispered shaking his head, "And this... oh god, Kiley, how.... What am I supposed to do?" he asked me the pain radiating off him in buckets. "Tell me - Tell me Luna, please... Kiley, you've spent two months here, you've seen her... in two days... she is a ghost... a damn invisible shell of who she was..." he paced.



"What do you mean you couldn't break their bond, I mean... is that possible?" he stopped wide-eyed.



Thinking of the conversation I had with Mother I tried to give Marlon a type of explanation, "Any change I try to make right now may give the Elders a signal as to where we are, at first I wanted to break bonds. Give everyone who hasn't found their mate - an out-"



His face went from anger to horror, "Wait... no," he whispered, but I just raised a brow. "It is a scared bond, why - how can - no-" his head shook from side to side.



"I'm - I'm her father but, how could we - you - take that connection many want? That hope others are feeling because they know that there is someone made for them, take that away from them? Lux has been waiting for a mate for years since he worked for your grandfather... to take away that person that is meant for him?" Marlon finally said sitting.



"Do you know how alone I was? Before my Helen, on this island - wanting someone... thinking I had missed my chance... praying that my mate wasn't alone out there and then Jason brought her here and my other half was restored-" I would hate to have that taken from anyone, much less those that are like your sisters mate, Kieran... I can't read his mind, but I saw the way he behaved, hiding and sending himself away from everyone, the guilt that he carries at such a young age... now?



"How many individuals Luna do you think are carrying guilt and believe they are unworthy, that have mates that will show them how deserving they are? Or how many do you think are like Philip? Following the Elders but then, find their mates and turn away from that lifestyle?" he pleaded with me.



Blinking a few times, I shake my head at him, a small smile, "You are aware that I didn't do what I mentioned?" his brown eyes widened, before he nodded stunted.



"I don't want to invade Kiley's mind Luna... but... why did she accept that rejection?" he asked after a moment of silence. "What else would she have done? None of this was her choice, he didn't reject her because of how she looks or behaves... nothing about this rejection was based on who she is... what is killing her is having to watch the happiness that was meant for her... on Justine." He nodded. I didn't know they weren't mates... or that they had come up with this idiotic plan...



"He's never going to touch Justine, even if she's in heat..." I pointed out and Marlon cocked his head to the side not understanding my words. "Hunter the moment he tries to...perform... with Justine... is going to feel what Kiley would..." I could see when understanding dawned on him, "So all three of them are going to be in pain," I shrugged.



"Justine lied, so yes when in heat I doubt Hunter will be able to be any sort of balm to her. Hunter is carrying his own pain that Kiley would feel, plus her emotional pain, and Kiley is dealing with her emotional pain of her own... so yes... all three will be in pain."



Marlon shook his head, "There is going to be so much... pain," he finally said the words I was waiting to hear, "Because of Hunters statues, Justine's wolf is weaker than Kiley's... but her wolf already considers Hunter's wolf to be her mate..." he stood again, his face going ashen, "Is - is Kiley in danger?"



I took a moment to listen to Justine thoughts', "No, she feels remorseful, she doesn't quite understand... but she knows Kiley is in pain... she is torn. Justine won't hurt Kiley, especially after the warning I've given," I answered.



"Then - why has Kiley been staying with..." he stopped asking before he even finished the question, "she's sleeping over with Tera and Oakley the last few days to get away from Justine?" he finished empathically. I nodded in assent.



When Marlon finally left my office I went to find Gabriel, I knew how Kiley felt, I remembered Gabriel and my beginning, but our ending was different, we had overcome so much together.



In bed, I climbed on, and melted into him, inhaling deeply, shuddering, "Handled it?" he murmured as I straddled him and lowered my lips to his. "Mhmm-hmm," I hummed as our kiss turned frenzied, my stomach soaring as I lost myself in my mate. His hands holding onto me, as he kissed me greedily, the air around us sizzling, my skin burned with want.



Rolling over he settled on top of me, kissing, nibbling down my neck, lifting himself from me his shirt comes off, and the hardened plane of his chest revealed, his breathing increases. My eyes devoured his body, down his chest, flat sculpted stomach, the shapely 'V' disappearing below his pants, my eyes darted back to his eyes scorching with want, "I love you," I whispered watching as my words dissolved the last bit of control he had, his chest rumbling as he fell down against me. His lips colliding against mine, the rest of the noise around us falls away.

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Oakley POV

I wanted this all to be perfect, it was important to me for so many reasons but I think the highest would be wanting Uncle Grant and Aunt Julia to know that I was so excited they were having a baby. They were amazing as our uncle and aunt; I knew that this baby would have the best momma and daddy because of who they were inside their hearts.



"Oakley, you okay?" Uncle Grant asked just as he shoveled more of Chelsea's lasagna into his mouth, "I'm fine," I chirped. He nodded distracted by the fork already preparing his next bit.



Aunt Julia sitting next to him had already finished, just shook her head, "You'll have to tell me how you made this Chelsea." It was February 6th and Aunt Julia's birthday. Both her and Uncle Grant, along with Jack and Chelsea had sat Ben and I down explaining that the baby was the Air Element and that Aunt Juju carried the shifter gene, and had passed it onto their baby. Knowing it was her birthday, I went to Chelsea with my idea, hoping she wouldn't mind doing this for Aunt Julia, and in a way uncle Grant as well.



I think I maybe ten years old when I learned that they wouldn't be able to have babies, and to have this opportunity now was simple miraculous. Aunt Juju had been glowing all week, weeping each time, joyous. I hadn't heard her once mention this a loud, but I knew that she was missing her family, her sisters... her momma. Pregnancies were a big deal in both of our families, and while I had this irrational - but perfectly understandable to myself - issue with Dad and Sarah having a baby, I was excited for hers.



I was so eager here, with Kieran next to me, I couldn't wait too see both of their faces when we showed them our surprise.



"Oakley aren't you hungry?" Aunt Julia asked me, glancing at my plate of uneaten food. Blinking a few times, I nodded, "Oh... not really, maybe I'll have some later," I smiled; practically everyone in the house was at the table seated here, all on the surprise as well.



Standing with Chelsea the two of us began clearing the table, "Oh let me help," Aunt Julia stood, but Chelsea shooed her off, "this is your birthday dinner, you can't help with cleaning up," McKenna, Jacks mate piped up as well.



Reddening "Thank you," she replied sitting down again. After clearing everything, Chelsea went to the fridge, bringing out the large cake she and Greta made earlier. As usual - her emotions were overwhelming for her - Aunt Julia's eyes welled up; turning to uncle Grant her head hanging forward, she laid her head on his shoulder. Turning the lights down low when Chelsea approached with the cake, Ben began singing, "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday aunt Julia, happy birthday to you..." everyone chimed in.



"Make a wish," Ben said when we finished with a large smile on his face, that only slightly dropped when she was both smiling and crying. His eyes flicked over to me questioningly, and without even opening her mouth the candles all blew out, the slight breeze that seemed to materialize when she cried doing the job for her.



"Thank-k-k yo-you-" she said hoarsely, the same reaction she had this morning when Ben, Uncle Grant and I made her a surprise breakfast, "I'm sorry," she apologized.



We just shook our heads in dismissal; cutting her cake she began passing our pieces, while Chelsea served everyone with tea or coffee. Still my fingers were twitchy and my leg continued to bounce, thankfully under the table, hidden from their view.



"Time for presents!" I all but shouted when everyone had finished his or her desert, "You - Chelsea you didn't have to get me anything," Aunt Julia turned to her and murmured, bypassing me completely.



Probably because you have no money to buy said gifts... they had to come from us before you said they were from you, Chelsea teased me.



"I - Gabriel and I - wanted too..." she said, the both of us standing simultaneously.



"Just follow Oakley," she said, everyone following our lead and heading the den on the first floor of Chelsea's house. When we were outside the door, I turned to Aunt Julia, "Close your eyes."



I said bouncing in my spot, "You too uncle Grant," he rolled his eyes, but did as I said.



Opening, I stood to the side, "Okay... open," I whispered, watching as they opened their eyes, blinking a few times. Stunned silent, Aunt Julia's bottom lip shook as she took in all the baby furniture - still boxed of course - bedding, supplies, and gifts we had hidden for her.



Her eyes zeroed in on two things - the crib and rocking chair - that I had purposely placed near each other, before darting back to mine, "How - you - I - thank you..." she blubbered. At her first sob, Uncle Grant seemed to come back and focus on her, "What - you okay?" he cooed pulling her into a hug, he glanced at me.



"A year ago, when her sister Meredith was registering for gifts-"



"I - I saw this," the brown cherry crib, bureau and changing table all in their boxes, "and - and the chair," her voice muffled.



"Well I was with you... I remembered how you looked at this particular crib and chair, you sat in the rocking chair, no one was around but I was..." she released uncle Grant from the embrace, and traded him for me, "Thank you."



Ushering them into the room, Julia went straight to the rocking glider, pushing uncle Grant down, before placing herself on his lap. The rest of those that followed entered as well. "You can leave the room the color it is if you want, but Oakley said that-"



"I would like a unisex room color, because if I were in Meredith's position, I wouldn't care if my baby was a boy or a girl, just as long as he or she was healthy."



"You heard me saying that to my mother, when we were packing up some of the gifts from her baby - baby shower," Aunt Julia said to me. I nodded; I had my enhanced hearing by then.



She sighed contently laying her head against uncle Grants shoulder, "So these are my ideas, but this is from Ben," I said picking up the box and walking it to them. Taking it on her lap she removed the wrapping paper. "I know your mom starts them special in your family but - we figured you'd still want to have one even though she didn't make it," he explained when she pulled out the baby scrapbook that wasn't made by her mother but had the same idea.



On the front cover held one empty space, the other two filled - each with one baby photo of uncle Grant and aunt Julia. By now Aunt Julia seemed to be beyond words, just smiling, and crying all at once, she rushed over to Ben hugging him, awkwardly while she held the book in her empty hand.



After that McKenna and Greta went and grabbed two different baskets placing them in front of Grant and Julia, one containing hand sewn dresses, "I know you don't really know me, but my mom she likes to sew and so, she made these maternity dresses. You it's truly warm here so she used a light fabric so you won't overheat," McKenna said when Aunt Julia stood lifting one of the dresses up to her.



In the basket Greta brought, she hand ten baby blankets, in ran, white, a few blues, ivory and grey. "I'm sure you miss your mom, and I'm not taking her place or nothing, but I just thought I would share a tradition I had for my kids. We use these as individuals blankets while they're little and once they get a bit older I make one larger blanket from them, so they can keep it." Greta smiled.



We hadn't known her for very long but it was obvious that she seemed to take on a mothering roll with everyone, Chelsea, Gabriel, Kieran, myself, Ben... I had come to the conclusion that Greta just had a nice heart and she was always looking to offer a bit of that nice heart to those around her.



The only two people that had been on this island that came today were Kieran and Kiley's mom, Helen, each with their own gift for aunt Julia. I wasn't sure what Helen had come with however, but I knew Kieran's plan, having helped on it, again with Chelsea's help.



"So this a special concoction for stretch marks, I make it from ingredients only found on the island, just rub twice a day," Helen said giving her a glass jar full of the yellowish stuff. Until finally, Kieran was the last to go, nervously he pushed the box towards aunt Julia and uncle Grant, moving away quickly, removing the lid there were twelve hand made frames. Each already filled with a picture, but they could only tell when Uncle Grant pulled one of them up, "He made them him self," I said when I realized Kieran wouldn't tell them that.



"Thank you Kieran," Aunt Julia said, "Oakley said you have a big family back home, didn't want your baby not to know them, when you know," Kieran shrugged next to, twitchy when everyone was focused on him. Sensing that discomfort, I offered him my hand, slowly our fingers interlocked and the tension seemed to lessen.

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Later when my aunt and uncle went home, leaving Ben and I at Chelsea's for the night, I sat in the library I loved to read with Kieran, or alone, my journal on my lap.

Dear Daddy,

So I already told you earlier that aunt Julia and uncle Grant are having a baby, as well as them thinking that I would feel abandoned that they were having a baby. They said they were worried because of how I reacted to you and Sarah having a child... I had found the pregnancy test that Sarah left in the trash bin, chances are when you read this you'll say that it was an accident and that Sarah never meant for me to find out the way I did.

Just so you know... I don't believe that now, and I won't believe it when you tell me that when we see each other again. She specifically told me not to forget the one in your washroom, so I'm not sure how she thought I wouldn't.

I'm not quite sure what you saw in Sarah, she wasn't a better mother than momma, the only difference was that my mother was murdered. You don't know this now, nor would you have known back then, but Sarah can't hold a candle to Momma. Sarah is weak and selfish, and the only thing I'm happy about right now, is that you won't be bringing her baby into momma's house. You won't be using momma's money to care for Sarah or that baby.

But as I was saying, uncle Grant and aunt Julia were worried, so I'll say this now, your new baby, I'm not mad at it and I don't hate him or her. He or she is innocent in all this as am I.

I'm a wolf and yes I've already written why I did what I did, I want to add that knowing you got Sarah pregnant and that you were going to bring one more child into our home is just one more reason I did what I did.

To me, that baby represents the fact that I will never get you back; it was confirmation that you would never put me first. I didn't want to see you loving on Amelia and this new baby, while I was on the sidelines in my own house watching. It was petty but at the time I couldn't help but wonder where you were going to put this new baby... we didn't have the room for it, so what more were you going to take away from me to give to this baby? That was constantly on my mind, as well as seeing this new baby as some sort of betrayal.

Before you had even came around to being my daddy, you were going to be this babys daddy and it was just one more person and time I knew I'd have to wait for you to come back to loving me.

I know you said you love me, but Chelsea and Gabriel, as I told you earlier said that actions speak louder than words, and I'm sure when you read this you're going to be objecting everything I write and seeing it your way but just for a minute read my words.

I believe that actions speak louder than words, and so while you told me you loved Ben, Amelia and I equally, I want you to see your actions from my side.

I sighed my chest hurting but I had all the words tonight it seemed.

Mom died and you never went to search for her... even though I told you nothing, you never looked and at the same time that you didn't go searching you pulled away from me. You stopped smiling. You stopped making me laugh until I would pee myself and shriek. You were never home always going to work...

Somewhere a long the line you even stopped giving great hugs and saying I love you. You didn't tuck me to bed anymore, and you didn't sing either. You barely smiled.

The truth is, it was hard to lose you and lose momma at the same time, but everyone said you'd come back, and when I was seven and you started smiling, I was so happy because I knew that you, my daddy was coming back around. Momma wouldn't be coming home, but you were coming back.

Instead of coming back to me though, you came back to Ben and Amelia. You threw away all of mommas things to make room for your new little girl. You threw away all her things, that those were the only things I had left of her, the clothes that I played dress up in but you wouldn't know that because you weren't back yet. You were still empty and hurting, and while you were hurting all her things brought me comfort. You threw my comfort away and still gave what little you could give to me, to Amelia.



You promised that things would get better, you lied. Things never got better.



You stopped trying to be my daddy, but you took Amelia on daddy daughter dates, so that she wouldn't feel like less of your daughter but I hadn't felt like yours for years. You didn't have time to do that with me, you didn't have time to be my daddy.



I couldn't understand why though... it wasn't like she needed you more than I did... we were only a year apart. AND SHE WAS OLDER.



How much more did she need? You threw all of my mommas things to make room for her, wasn't that enough? No. because she was starving for a daddy, as much as I was, but I don't understand how that went unnoticed? I had asked you to go to father daughter dances with me... you didn't go.



She came along and you wanted to go... I'm not sure why I even went... you danced the first two songs with her, while I sat on the bench waiting. Hurting. Back then I didn't notice it but now, I can remember one of the dads that had two girls, he danced with both at once, joking around he had them under his arms as footballs. You loved me so much how come you didn't do that?



I swallowed, putting the pen down, I sighed wiping my tears before I continued.



I may hate Amelia, but you made me hate her. You made me jealous of her, because she had the one thing I wanted. My daddy. You were so happy to be her daddy, and I want you to know that Sarah was just a sucky consolation prize. One that said:



"Mom... what do you want me to do? To say? Tell her that her mother abandoned her, was nothing but a flakey whore that probably road out of this town, this farm with another man, left her and Ben behind, didn't care enough like a mother should? It's the truth mom; this whole town knows what Norine did. One day, someone's going to give it to that child, spit it out like everything else around here and she'll hear it, but it won't be from me"



I write what she said the night I hurt myself, verbatim.



It was her though. It was always her. She was always the one putting my momma down, like she was someone better. Speaking ill of the dead. How do you want me to love a woman that could say such things about the one person in the world besides Ben I thought loved me?



You never had time for me, but you made special time to be with Amelia.



I don't think you know how much you hurt me, but I think on top of that new baby, and Amelia and Sarah, and everything else, the one thing that hurts me the most is how you helped Amelia and her friends to push me out of my own home. You arranged it so I could sleep at Uncle Grants while she had a sleepover, one she didn't want me in the house for, but you loved me, right?



Even now, while you're reading this, seeing these words, I'm not sure how you'll feel but I just wanted to say that I don't think I will ever want anything to do with your new child, Amelia or Sarah. And I would hope that for once, you think of what I'm saying, and feeling and respect that. I don't want to see you be someone elses daddy when you couldn't be bothered to be mine. I'm here now, and it's only been a few months so maybe I'll change my mind, but I don't think I will. In fact I'm hoping that we stay here so I never have to live in the same house as them if we every came back, and while you may be hurting thinking Ben and I are dead, you're only just starting to feel how I've felt for such a long time.



I don't see your side anymore, like I did when I was in Middleburg and I am who I am now, this girl because of you. You can say that I could've changed our life had I shown you the recording, but again see it from my perspective... that actions speak louder than words, momma died for us, and showed me just how much she loved us - even though I think it was selfish not telling you she was a wolf. That recording is the one thing I had that told me I was loved besides Ben. I could believe what momma said on it, but I couldn't trust your words, not when you showed me otherwise.



Its only been a few months, and I've cried quite a few times here, but I've yet to cry myself to sleep upset that you loved Amelia more.

Love,

Bumblebee.

Closing my journal I wrapped my arms around myself, rocking back and forth until I calmed, the hole in my chest taking my breath away as all the memories hit me back to back. Seeing things again, with new eyes, only seemed to bring more hurt. I glanced at the notebook, wanting to rip the words I just wrote into a million pieces, feeling ashamed for everything I wrote. I was having a debate, I wanted to give it to daddy at some point, but what I just wrote, I as torn amongst wanting him to know and knowing that I would just be putting one more wall between us.

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1. I really like that you have those Q&A things in some chapters, they clear things up sometimes and I like we get to know your view on things. A few people mentioned that I sometimes don't answer their questions so doing it this way... it just seems like the easiest thing to do ... also because if someone else thinks the same or has the same question I just answer it once.

2. I can't wait till they go back home and get rid of the elders I think the world (I know its not real but still) would be a better place for it.

You're telling me? lol I know what's going to happen and I CAN'T WAIT to share that with all of you.

3. Ben is like the ideal boy next door, I'm just so glad that he is helping Kayla, same goes for Oakley and Keiran, as much as cliché like as it sounds we human beings feed off contact and when we need it most is when we seem to never receive it but these characters as individuals are trying their best to be there for each other. Yes, he is, but he's had experience with Oakley and he's young... he isn't some jerk that is older and insensitive to how she may feel... NOT that I'm saying someone older wouldn't be like this, but with Ben, it's easy to write about him and Kayla. It's a healing type friendship and in reality he isn't doing much, but it's more than she's use too and then there's his motives.

4. It would be too much for Kayla to sleep with Ben/Saxon every night, but having something with his scent on it might help. Yeah... I'm not going to make her co-dependent on him... I read a book where the girl could only sleep when she was with this one kid, otherwise she was up screaming bloodly murder. And what's worse is that IN THE BOOK, it NEVER gets resolved. The guy gets home one time and he apologizes for being stuck in traffic and not making it home in time so that she doesn't have a nightmare. I completely understand finding someone that gives you peace, but in that book it was just taken a step further, it went from being a jumping off point to healing to just being entirely pathetic, I mean she never seeks out ANY sort of help. The only help she says she wants is his arms... the only thing I could think was that I pray this man never loses his arms, because... well... poor girl.

I mean, sometimes you have nightmares for years and years after a traumatic event, I get that. But still...

5. Do you think Kiarran will learn about Rainy and Kayla history and connect with them? I think it would be nice to know he's not alone and other people went through it also. Yes eventually everyone is going to mesh together... I know some are panicking because of how many pages this book is already but don't let them fool you, I plan to not rush and everything will come full circle.

6. Does Oakley have an element?

So basically anyone that has a gift, it has to be made from the base elements (Fire, Air, Water, Earth) but I will go into more details later :)

7. I am so happy with Kayla's progress. Ben is good for her. Hopefully, her other siblings will venture out too. the only thing that was keeping them inside is their eyesight, not getting too much sun since they've spen their whole lives down in the basement. With Kayla it was different because she shifted.

8. I think Chris is a couple more sleepless night away from a well earned melt down. Yes, that man is.

9. That is so funny. I want that on a t-shirt. 'Some people are just permanently stuck on stupid'. I'd want one with an arrow so that the person I'm talking about is pointed out...

10. So much I would like to say to this "parent"!!!!!! I am looking forward to his POV, it will either make me understand him and his decisions, or make me despise him even more.... Thank you :) I've been dropping clues about Pat POV and what he has to say and the whole issue... I'm fairly certain that it's going to be half and half when people read his.

11. This chapter was great. I felt so happy after reading it. That's one of the many reasons I like reading your stories. Even though you write about tough and emotional topics I always come away with hope for the main characters. There maybe tough things to read about but there are also heartwarming and touching moments like in this chapter with Kayla and Chris. Thanks!

well THANK YOU! I know that it has its depressing moments but someone said that I balance them nicely to quote a commentor "I love how stories go from serious to lovey dovey and then back to serious. Im preparing myself for the serious part!"

12. I think you need to stop Cris pov,he is not important in this story,C ris already have his own story in The Forgotten Mate, more Chelsea ,Oakley ,Gabriel and the other pov please.

hmm... I'm not sure but i have people that are like WOlf POV isn't important and Chris isn't important... YES THEY ARE. Where I left Rainy and Chris off... I CAN'T just stop there, they NEED to be mentioned to show their progress... I left them off in HFM as just parents... in this book I WILL be showing how they develop in other aspects of their relationship... Another reason I use Chris is because Kaylas mind is so child like I don't often like to use her POV unelss I HAVE TOO, so instead if use an adult around her.

WOlf POV is important because he is the one that has a lot of the information that Chelsea needs since chapter 55 of Unconditional I've been saying that.

13. Where in the world am I located or updating from? I live in the U.S.

14. Why did I make Chelsea give Hunter his own pain back instead of their mate feeling it? When I started writing this book, I had plans for her to do that since Unexpected...

15. Kayla going to the sleepover wasn't as big as a deal as I made it out to be, plus it's weird that Ben is a boy and she's a girl and they had a sleep over. It's weird that Kieran was the only boy with the three girls as well, {Sent privately}.

I feel like the person who sent this privately did so because of the heat that readers alone would've given them lol. First off... Lucy attending... was a way to give Kayla support... this is fiction, but Chris was reluctant because Kayla has terrors so Lucy volunteered to go.

AS for the Kieran part, Tera is his sister, and Oakley is his friend, he doesn't have anyone else, they invited him, he went. It's the same thing with Kayla, I'm not trying to make it weird, but they feel comfortable with these people, now, I hope to use this as a getway to branch out for them. Both are untrusting of others, but for them to branch out, they need to experience things they didn't get. Its like what Rainy said to Chris, she didn't get that experience, but in some way, she's happy her daughter is getting those experiences. She could be jealous and angry inside and take that out on her kid, try to make Kayla pay for what happened but she isn't doing that. And lastly, it was a fictional sleepover not an orgy_, calm down lol.

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