A/N:NOT EDITED. OKAY SO SOME OF YOU ARE STILL HAVING THAT VIEWING PROBLEM WHERE THE CHAPTERS ARE ALL CHOPPY AND MISSING PIECES, OR SKIPPING? WELL I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU... I'M NOT SURE WHY IT'S HAPPENING BUT I'VE SENT A NOTE TO WATTPAD, BUT WELL SINCE THEY KEEP MAKING CHANGES I GUESS EVERYONE'S JUST GOTTA GO WITH THE FLOW OR SOMETHING.

I'M NOT TOO SURE, BUT I THINK IT'S HAPPENING MORE WITH THE NEW WEB INTERFACE THAN IT IS WITH THE WATTPAD APP.

A few people asked about 'Scratch' and how it fits into this story? It's the same as HFM, they are people that I want their back story out of the way before I bring them in. So I guess you can say that they are spin-in (opposite of spin-offs?). The main character in 'Scratch,' is one of the people that the Elders are hunting down... while this book has more of the healing from the trauma of it all, 'Scratch,' will divulge Elder/facility/Research information. Hope this answer helps.

Anyways... Enjoy.

Roxann.



Chapter 53 - Chelsea POV

My heart ached, my chest tightened, and tiny pricks crawled up and down my back, my stomach uneasy, as I came to my own realization of Kieran's abuse. "Do you think this is why he didn't like when his family touched him?" I murmured sitting next to Grant the two of us just waiting and giving Kieran time to get out from his own mind right now.

"Chelsea the mind is a very mysterious entity and I can tell you, I hadn't assumed that he was abused by someone he knew personally," Grant explained. His face tight and lines more defined than I had ever seen on him, his mind torn and own heart hurting for this young man in front of us. Leaving the room briefly, I went for my supplies, sketchbook on my lap and pencil in my hand I began drawing from the memory Kieran had, the flash of different white coats, his uncle and others.

"Sick bastard," Grant hissed when the image I was drawing formed more and we could actually see the similarities to Kieran himself in the sketch. The same chiseled jaw, the eyes of his father reflected in that of his uncle. Next to me Grant crossed his arms against his chest, his heart racing. Jack can you come alone to Kieran's room? Bring sedatives... just in case, I added in the last minute.

"I need to go speak to his parents," I clarified when I stood and waited until Jack was at Kieran's door, "Grant I don't want you to get hurt, if someone needs to approach Kieran, please let it be Jack..." I met his eyes, hoping he understood. Nodding slowly, I sighed in relief, going to Gabriel's office and giving Remy, Logan and he the images I drew, keeping the one of Kieran's uncle in my folder and walking to Carla and Tony's.

We had basic information on Jerry Ryan, Tony's brother, microbiologist, but it was only the bare minimum from what I could remember reading. With shaky hands I walked up to the porch knocking, just once and Mrs. Ryan - Carla - was already at the door, her face panicked. "Is something wrong with Kieran?" I blinked, was this just her parental radar asking or... wouldn't come unless something was wrong with him. Listening carefully I couldn't place anyone in the house with her, so I took a second to find the mind of her husband and children. All of them were currently at the hospital visiting with Connor.

"I need to speak to you," I started off, clueing Grant in to this conversation, knowing I would need him to discuss this with her. "Kieran - first we need to go inside," she nodded confused but moved away from the door letting me in and leading us to the sofa. Her back stiff and straight, her heart pounding in her chest, louder than anything in the house and for a moment I had to wonder if I would be like this with Ava, with any other children Gabriel and I had together. Would I always be in a sort of panic and believing the worse would always come their way? "First I want to tell you something," she nodded.

Is this about Kieran? Is she - are - relax - just relax, her thoughts in a tailspin. "I can read your thoughts," cocking her head to the side she shook it slowly. No one joined her pack, only Marlon, "It's one of my gifts, I can read the mind of everyone, it doesn't matter that you haven't joined my particular pack," so she's - you've heard everything I've said?

Pursing my lips, "Okay so... yeah I can hear you, you just thought 'so she's - you've heard everything I've said?' " I confirm.

With wide eyes, her mind goes wild once again, her worry for her son mixed in with worry for all the things she has thought about me. "You will not tell anyone that I can read the mind of everyone on the island, not even you mate, your wolf can not tell his or anyone else," she nods woodenly.

"I want you to tell me what you know about Tony's brother, Jerry?" blinking, Carla shakes her head looking away, confused. "Uhm... L-Luna this - Kieran is all right?" she asks almost fearful, but in her mind, she can't put anything together. She can't understand why I would be asking about Jerry or what and if this has anything to do with Kieran.

"I can read Kieran's mind..." she nods. "I've always been able too, he started speaking with Grant, and for the past month or so, he's been discussing what he went through when he was taken," her heart stops, mouth drops open and nothing, absolutely nothing comes to mind.

"Tell me what you know about Jerry," I repeat.

Flustered, twisting her hands on her lap, popping a few knuckles, Carla nods before speaking, "Well he's older than Tony, turning seventy-three and he went to school for microbiology, uhm... he is - was - very hush-hush about his work," she gestures with her hands, her eyes wide. As she speaks out loud I concentrate on her thoughts as well, "Uh - I think, I'm not sure but he said once that he was study pure microbiology?" nodding for her to continue.



"Well he said he was focusing on three things, Immunology, Virology and Biological Agents," I try to keep my face blank, but the last study throws me, Jerry studies microorganisms that can be turned and used as weapons. My mind immediately going to the foggy, gas like smoke that filled the room when the children were in the video we were able to see.



"Did he visit you often?"



She nodded, "Well he's family," as though nothing was out of the norm.



"How did he behave around you?"



Uncertainty on her face, her eyes narrowed at me for a bit before she glanced away, "Jerry lived nearly thirty or forty minutes away, we lived in Kalamazoo and he would visit us often."



"How did he treat the boys?"



Carla looked down at her hands, what - why does she - Jerry was so helpful when Kieran went missing, I gritted my teeth not wanting to roll my eyes at this woman. Yet still my heart went out for her, she didn't know, she only saw what Jerry wanted her too. "When Kieran went missing Jerry gave us money so we could mail out his scent and - and he was supportive, watching the boys while Tony and I were out searching for Kieran," the folder in my hand, I brought to my lap, and picked out the picture of the man I drew, the man in Kieran's head. The white coat that Kieran, and many of the others that escaped thought of, pushing the picture towards Carla.



"Kieran had a sort of break down, he's partially catatonic, but he thought of this man, whispering behind his ear, telling him that his parents weren't going to come for him. This man - this picture - this man beat and sexually abu-"



"No!" Carla rose to her feet, shaking her head, pointing at the picture; "No..." she whispered the blood draining from her face, ashen. "Grant... and I believe that the reason Kieran has no memories of his life before, is partially because he was shocked, but also it was easier for him to disconnect his life before he was taken to when he was in the facility."



"He attacked Tony," Carla whispered as tears rolled down her face, her bottom lip shaking, "he - he wouldn't - he just went into a panic," she shook her head.



"This - no - no," the words murmured, as she began shaking, bouncing from foot to foot, her eyes glazed over as she thought of how much Jerry had helped. Closing my eyes, I did the only thing I could do; I showed Carla the images straight from Kieran's mind. The words Jerry whispered, the thickness in his voice as he stood behind Kieran, as he told her son that he was taken because he was bad. Then when those finished I went to just now, to him knowing that it had nothing to do with him going outside, Jerry had always meant for Kieran to be his little boy toy, had his eyes on him and his job, his status with the Elders, with their research - that gave him the best access.



Before I could get to the point where Kieran himself had retreated into his mind, Carla was making a mad dash for the nearest empty container, emptying her stomach, retching as she cried. "Oh god, no," she hiccupped, as Dominic, Tera and Tony barged into the house, Tony going straight to his mate. While Dominic and just came to a full-stop when his eyes danced around the room, and finally landed on the picture that I drew of his uncle. Oh no... is - is she going to bring him here? This Jerry fucker, what the hell? Was he making his way through the whole family? Relax Luna, my third wolf told me, as my hands clenched at my sides.



"Do you - uh do you know this guy?" I asked Dominic, who had to force himself to even move his eyes from the paper drawing, swallowing he finally met my eyes, nodding slowly. "That's - uhm - that is our uncle - Dad's brother," he mumbled. "What - Carla what's wrong? Tell me?" Tony said trying to ease his mates' distress, but with her eyes closed, her whole self-shaking, while she whipped her head from side to side furiously he wasn't getting anywhere. "Is - is something wrong - is - is it Kieran?" Tony finally asked me when all he could do was wrap his arms around Carla, her wordless sobs gutting him.



"Our boy - hurt Kieran - all lies - how could he?" the words muffled against Tony's chest. Tony looked on in confusion while Dominic, his mind raced, jumping to all the right conclusions. Grant? I called out, knowing this was way above what I had expected when I came here.



Can you call Gabriel; make him bring you to the Ryan's place, "Dominic?" his eyes wide as he stared at me, unseeing, eyes welled up, bottom lip shaking. "He's - he's one of the - he's a white coat?" I blinked listening to his thoughts as he remembers Kieran screaming, shrieking about the White Coats coming to get him. "He - it was him the whole time?" he pointed his finger shaky at the picture, but not looking at it anymore, the sight of Jerry turning his stomach.



"Will someone tell me what the hell is going on here?!" Tony barked, ready to explode his eyes danced between Dominic, Carla and I. Where Carla looked pale and gray, Dominic's face took on a slight green hue, swallowing he didn't look at Tony when he shouted, just shook his head.



"He - your - he hurt - he took Kieran," Carla finally choked out just as Grant and Gabriel popped into the house, Gabriel coming to me immediately, surveying the room like there was some type of threat. "Who - who hurt Kieran Carla?" Tony asked gently, cupping her face, his thumb rubbing her tears away.



"J - J - Jerry - he it was him-m-m," his thumbs stilled mid swipe, his brows scrunched together, "My brother?" again not making sense of what she was saying. Dominic toeing the floor turned and left the room, the door closing behind him as he tried to get as far away from this house as possible.



"What is she saying?" he turned to me, but I just flicked my gaze over to Grant, can you? A sharp nod and Grant approached Carla and Tony. "Kieran, he revealed to us that one of the people that hurt him while he was in the facilities was your brother, a 'white coat' as he called them," Grant answered gently. His hands on his mates face dropped, fell to his side limply. "We don't know many details but... it's safe to say that your brother was working with the Elders, as one of their scientist or researcher, and Jerry had the men that took Kieran, do so. It wasn't random, Kieran revealed that it didn't matter whether or not he didn't listen and stayed inside, eventually Jerry was going to get him, he had just found the slickest way to do so..."



His eyes the size of quarters "my Jerry?" Grant and I nodded. "My brother Jerry?" Grant nodded, I just waited, "He - he made them - the people that took Kieran, he knew that they took him? All those years - he knew?" he pulled away from Carla, going to his feet. Shaking his head back and forth, his eyes glazed over, his thoughts utter turmoil, a blackness of unseeing moments he analyzed quickly. Moments where Jerry said something that made his skin crawl; tingle but he wrote it off, now at the forefront of his mind. "That - that's how - I called him-" his hands shaking at his sides, breathing heavily, nearly gasping, panting while his eyes darted around the room as though Jerry were in it at this very moment.



"I - I - we - we - when Kieran came home, I called Jerry. I let him know that Kieran was home, he - he sounded so relieved..." because he had found Kieran again, he thought silently, as he now replayed everything in his mind with new insight. "Said he'd be right over - but then we - we had to leave... we drove - all night and then I called him again, we - we needed money and again the people following us, they found us again," I was giving him our location, he knew what was - I had it wrong.



With crazy eyes Tony shook his head, "I thought - assumed that the Elders, the people that were watching us were spying, getting information covertly - but - but it could have been Jerry the whole time?" he finally stilled; his eyes bore expectantly into Grants. On the precipice of wanting confirmation that he was right, and wanting Grant, anyone to contradict the heinous truth, Tony waited, his heart slowly falling apart and the pieces of his mind bending beyond it's capabilities.



Before I could even contemplate or decide consciously to do this, I leaned back against Gabriel, wanting his support, why didn't Jay react like this? Carla and Tony may have acted and behaved wrongly, but they were misguided. Now with the truth beating him down slowly, Tony wasn't behaving like Jay, he wasn't sticking up for Jerry, not over his own child. He wanted us to tell him he was wrong, that he had pushed it a bit too far, but Tony had yet to even consider the fact that Kieran was making this up.



"He" Tony cleared his throat, eyes wet, teeth grinding, his jaw resembling Kieran's more now than ever, "Kieran, he doesn't think that we knew? That we let it — that — happen to him? Right? He knows we wouldn't — that we," his body spasm as he tries to pull himself together, especially when the next memory hits him hard and it takes my own breath away. I have to avoid his eyes, 'Kieran,' he said his tone serious as he approached his son, halting when Kieran seemed to become lifeless his eyes empty, 'please don't hurt me,' Kieran uttered but after that, his face took on some sick, defeated and resigned expression. Backing away, sick to his stomach then, with more information, the sorrow he felt, the red hot anger that boiled inside of then, resurfaces now.



Still calm as ever Grant takes a step closer to Tony, while Tera remains frozen against the wall, her eyes wide as she listens, "I wasn't — based on what we knew from the others — this wasn't what we thought happened. It's easy to see that Kieran as a child, even though they did experiments, things to make him forget you, I think he willingly chose to forget you..." Tony stood still, his body slightly shaking, swaying as the words Grant spoke took purchase in his mind.



"It was easier — for anyone it would have been easier to forget the past, so that his current state, what was being done to him, his mind couldn't process that someone so close to him was hurting him in such a way. Whether or not Kieran knows you weren't involved or approved this happening, isn't — that's not on his mind. He doesn't blame you for anything, he puts the blame solely on himself, because he didn't listen." Grant stumbled to explain, but I could understand from my own situation the words he spoke.



"It's conditioning, training," I blurted out, "the small part of your brain, that tells you, this isn't normal, you push it away... you have too because it's your reality. Being punished, is the reality of the situation and the easiest way to cope, to survive is by pushing away frivolous things. Putting aside what you want, what you dream of and lowering your expectations so low, that you can't be disappointed."



The room turned to face me, but I wasn't done, "Do you know how much easier it is to believe that you're getting what's coming to you, because — because the alternative, is that someone is beating you for no reason. And in your sick and twisted mind, you start to play along, because that is all you can do. You try to be the best at the games they play, but you can never win, and then that takes a toll on you and then when you've hit that new low, that level where you fail time and time again, you finally just accept the truth. Their truth, I was bad, good for nothing, unable to learn, that is why I was hurt."



"I walked around for nearly two years tripping over myself, trying to keep all the "good training" I got from my abuser, until I was so tired because all that training, it didn't even apply to the real world. But when you're under their thumb, you have to see things how they want you to see it, I didn't see my abuse as abuse until three years after it. I saw it as "training," because it's easier to call it training-"



"Like Kieran calls it punishment," Carla finished, her hands twitching at her side. I nodded confirming it, "He had me so tied up and do you know what he played on the most?"



"The pictures of my family, pictures and videos of them laughing, having the best time at whatever they were doing as a family, showing me what I couldn't have but wanted, until the pain got easier to accept when I stopped wishing for it. Until it was dull, I didn't want to be a part of that family so what did he do? He just found something new to hurt me with..." 'How can I even keep you as a mate,' Leo's voice sounds in my head and I close my eyes, as Gabriel tightens his hold on me. Mine, he pushes into my mind, chasing Leo away.



I sigh and continue, "Even though you tell Kieran, you had nothing to do with it, and it's the truth, his mind isn't at the right time for you to just tell him that. He's been told so much, he's smart, and he just has to figure it out-"



"Which... I believe he is," Grant interrupted, "You ran with him when he was expecting you to send him back to the facility, to him it doesn't make any sense that you sent him away the first time like they told him. But he was "bad" that day he ran away and you guys didn't send him back-"



"He — he thinks we would have sent him back?" Carla choked, her hands lifting to her mouth shakily.



Grant nods, "he — Chelsea's right, he made up little outs, backwards thinking... you didn't come for him because he was bad. He was bad, and needed to be there until he was good. He was punished because he was bad, but eventually he'll be good again."



"It's so childlike..."



"He — Kieran might be physically fifteen, but mentally that growth stopped, he's only now just feeling at ease, but this — I think out of everything — Jerry abusing him, taking him from all of you, I think that is the piece of everything that is just more than his six year old mind could handle."



Tera releases a sob, her voice cracking the silence, her body jerking despite her efforts to calm down, almost make herself invisible. All of a sudden, ugly, black horror flashes into Tony's eyes. His face turns red from his hairline down his face, neck to under his shirt I would believe. Stalking over to his daughter, he pulls Tera against him, his mind warring with itself, the curiosity burning inside, not Tera too... please not Tera too.



Chelsea? A voice calls out to me — Oakley — strained, weak. Help me.

______________

My mind is currently occupied [STILL]... My focus is still a bit strained and because I can't seem to calm it, it's taking me longer to produce updates. I'm in that weird mood where each time the phone rings my heart races and my stomach sinks. Even my mom was like... "No... you need to snap of out this... you're driving yourself mad!"

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