Hello everyone,

As many of you already know, I've decided to work on publishing my Unexpected Series.

It's going to be hard work to make sure that I'm putting out my best work for all of you that have started with me from the beginning of this journey.

I'm fairly certain there will be many panic attacks along the way, but I'm determined to get my work out into the world so that many of you can hold in your very hands a copy of the first AND second book in the Unexpected Series.

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While I'm in the process, I do have to remove a percentage of the story so that I can publish it. I've decided to take out the last 20-30% of the story.

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QUESTIONS/ANSWERS:

Pat's mom told him "In our moments of grief that is when we say how we truly feel" when he said he only said those things during his 'conversation ' with Norrine the day of the explosion because he was overcome with grief. I think he's just not strong enough to own up to the truth of what he said that day. Sarah's not secure enough to have a conversation with him about it either. So they'll just keep going on as they always have. He didn't tell Sarah how he felt about her making Oakley find the pregnancy test and she didn't confront him about his decision to tell Amelia that he is her father, or the way he told her. I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH THIS, it's like I said, Sarah needs to give Pat some space, let him work out his stuff and then if they get back together fine, if it's just while they get counseling that THE THREE of them need, fine. But holding onto someone in a desperate attempt to hold them with you... or ignoring the problems... well 48 hours, Dateline and Motives and Murders (along with all those other types of shows) they are various outlets that show the outcome of such a situation... I'm just saying.



Even Amelia will suffer because of the choices Pat & Sarah made. Forget for a minute how horribly she's been behaving and look at the situation as if she was any other child. 1) she thinks her dad abandoned her. 2) once they were with Pat she still isn't told he's her dad. 3) she's getting a lot of blame for the situation with Oakley when she's just a kid and it was the adults that didn't handle the situation right. 4) in her eyes the way Pat is behaving now is a complete 180 to how he's been with her for years. 5) Pat's family don't like her very much and did really have or make time to get to know her or build a relationship with her because they had to be there for Oakley. 6) the adults in her life have not prepared her for the real world. She's going to get a huge shock when she's not the center of everyone's world. She's even a queen bee with her friends. Even as I wrote this chapter, I'm thinking, hopefully someone see's that Amelia isn't really – I mean she's sorta like Oakley in all this but differently. Pat went in and was like my day starts and ends with you Amelia. After six years of that... how is she supposed to even be worried of anyone outside of herself? It's like sometimes you have great parents and your kid still takes their own way. Then you have the other spectrum where it's bad parenting and you close your eyes and think that kid is in for a rude awakening. It's kinda comical in a sense to even write Pat-scolding Amelia when he enabled her for so long. Its like cat, stop calling the kettle black.

My mom has said this to me, "Don't do it, but let me do it." When I was fourteen and she told me this, it annoyed me to no end. I wish I would've made it where grandma and grandpa were in on this session too, but since it's something I started with just them three and then Sarah and Pat alone I left it, but there will be another moment when it can be said, "Pat, how do you expect her to act differently when she's acting like how you raised her."

I mean think about it... Oakley harmed herself on Amelia's birthday... Amelia was angry that she did it on her birthday.

OKAY SO WE HAVE TWO VIEWS ON WHO'S TO BLAME FOR THIS WHOLE F'D UP SITUATION:

THE FIRST:I think what people are forgetting is that life is not perfect the situation Pat was in was motivated out of guilt it may not have been right but non the less guilt made him feel he needed to act that way toward Amelia he new he was her dad. The truth is Oakley needs to take some of the responsibility of the situation too... she held on to secrets, just like Pat did instead of guilt her motives were anger and pain. One thing Oakley needs to learn is that judgement comes to all of us. Our actions just might define who we are..Although this maybe a fictional story Oakley and Pat are the same. Like father like daughter. Once Oakley takes some responsibility she can and will heal and she will forgive.



THE SECOND:I have to agree with a lot of the other readers. I get what your trying to say. But it was mentioned how Oakley blocked everything out that happened. Then found the recorder, and everything came back.. But by then her dad had pushed her away, so she didn't know who to tell. Other then being heartbroken, Pat has no excuse, he man'ed up for Amelia but never for his other 2 children. Oakley does not need to take responsibility for anything... he practically abandoned them worse then he ever did with Sarah and Amelia. He should have never felt guilty with his situation about Amelia and Sarah, when he never knew. When he found out, he should have felt guilty concerning Norine (even if she was no longer in the picture).. Because it's a reminder of his infidelity. His guilt should and the only responsibility he should take is only concerning Oakley and Ben, because they were always their and he emotionally turn his back on them.. While parading Amelia and Sarah.



MY OPINION ON BLAME-GAME: I'm biased.

I'll start with that.

Second, blame is easy to push around and can go on for hours. I'll work on future chapters instead.

Oakley? Do I think some of what happened is because of how she behaved? Oakley made decisions. She never spoke about what happened; in fact she just became completely dissociative about it all. Is she to blame for that? NO. If something traumatic like this happened to me, I'd try to ignore it.

So I don't blame Oakley for not coming out and saying right away what happened. I don't blame a seven year old for thinking that someone would throw away the last piece of her mother she thought she had. Especially when they hauled all her moms things out randomly one day.

I don't blame Oakley for holding a grudge on Sarah and trying to keep her mom like white as snow.

I WANT Oakley to eventually learn that Pat couldn't read her mind. I mean he wasn't paying her attention, and I'm not a parent so I might be wrong, but parents know their kids. They can see if something is bothering them, and again, I'm only going from what I know from my mom, but when she asks if something's wrong it's not so she can get angry at whatever, it's because I'm her child and she see's me hurting and she wants to take away that hurt. But to do that, she has to know what the problem is first... (GRANT WAS TRYING TO DO THIS WITH OAKLEY.)

I don't blame Pat for not being able to read Oakley's mind and see that something bad happened.

I don't blame him for retreating a bit when Norine disappeared.

I DO blame him for checking out for seven years.

I DO blame him for ignoring Oakley and Ben for those seven years.

I DO blame him for not seeing that Oakley was in pain or seeing that he had two kids, he couldn't just check out on them.

I DO blame him for not listening to Grant and the family when they tried to reach him.

See what I mean? I can go on about blame.

I don't think Oakley and Pat are the same. I think Pat has dug himself so deep into a hole that the top is starting to look like the size of a pen tip.

DO I think Oakley should take responsibility for her actions? I mean keeping secrets and all? Hmm... honestly? Not really... I mean Oakley didn't always used to think Sarah was bad, she told Ben it was okay if he loved Sarah. I think Sarah and Pat were the adults and they just messed everything up, I mean I'd say that there isn't a handbook on the dos and donts for blended families but... there is.... Sarah and Pat railroaded Oakley. Before fixing his relationship with Oakley, Pat just moved Sarah and Amelia into her home. If no one had told him look... Oakley is in trouble, Pat you need to focus on her, fix that... I'd be more open to laying some blame at Oakley's feet but Grant did do that. Pat's parents did that.

Anywho... until next time...