Chapter 31: The Poison in the Pirate's Wine





I didn't know how long I cried on the stage or how many pirates were watching me as I broke down. All I knew was I needed to let the thing that was silently ruining me inside out of my chest. It was already too late when I realized the embarrassing situation I got myself into. When my crying subsided, I looked at them unable to find ways of how I would get myself out of the grand hall. It was really silent and I was just waiting for them to begin laughing at me. But the mockery and laughter didn't come and instead, it was the Skull who came rushing towards my direction and grabbed me by my arm. I wanted to get away from that place so I let him usher me to the exit. No one dared stop us. They just watched silently as we escape the greatest drama of the pirate world.



If this was another story, I would consider this eloping as a great scene. If fairy tales did exist, I would be the princess who was saved by my prince from the sea of monsters and ran away together. It would be like our love against the world and we would do anything to keep it burning even sacrificing our lives. We would have run away from the evil witch or the hungry giant who wanted to devour us. We would be the heroes who saved the kingdom. But I knew too well that our story was different. Our lives weren't as easy as that. Our story that once promised rainbow and lively colors were now tainted with blood and dark adventure. It was another dark fairytale.



Apparently, there was a canoe waiting for us outside the grand vessel. We got on it and he paddled back to the Obsidian. It would have been better if we had a farther place to escape to. However, the vastness of the sea set a limit to where we can only reach. None of us dared to speak about what happened – not yet. I remained silent as he helped me get on the deck of the Obsidian. I wanted to punch my chest as my heart started to beat faster at the touch of his hand.



"Wait here. I'll be back," he said and quickly disappeared at the entrance of the hallway. Now that I was alone in the darkness, I began thinking if everything was just a nightmare or a product of my horrible imagination. But the stinging of my eyes and my dampened cheeks told me otherwise. I was doomed.



I looked around for a place to hide because of embarrassment. I didn't want anyone to see me at that very moment. I looked up towards the crow's nest and realized that no one was watching there. So I walked to the center post and started climbing the rope ladder. I had climbed this before and I could feel my muscles getting used to it. It was easier now compared to the first time. I felt myself becoming stronger than I ever was. Maybe this was what the pirate world could do to you.



Once I reached the crow's nest, I breathed the cold air and hugged myself as I felt the strong wind brushed against my skin. Up there, no one's going to judge me. In solitude, no one's going to hurt me. It seemed that the moon and the stars were gloomy that night for they refused to show themselves to me. Without them, it was so dark. I felt so alone.



Just as the tears threatened to fall again, I heard some movement from the rope ladder and after a minute of waiting, the Skull emerged at the top. He brought a bottle of water with a blanket wrapped around it. He handed them to me which I immediately hugged the thick cloth and sat on the floor of the crow's nest. I drank on the bottle and leaned on the railing. I closed my eyes and rested, knowing that it was the time for him to leave me alone. For that was what he always did, save me and then leaving me afterward. When minutes passed and I could still feel him with me, I opened my eyes and saw him standing, staring intently at me.



"Aren't you going to leave?" I asked.



"No. Definitely not," he answered.



The idea that he wanted to stay by my side caused my heart to beat even faster but this time, anger came with it. Why did he have to do this?



"Please, Threy. Aren't you tired? I am so tired of everything and I don't want to play games with you right now." And by calling him by his name, tears started falling again. How I missed calling his name. How I missed the sound of it. And how it hurt me knowing that it wasn't the Threy I once knew anymore.



And I thought by calling him on his real name, he would be discouraged staying. But instead, he sat in front of me and just when he was about to touch me, he stopped and clenched his own fist to his side. Was it difficult touching me now?



"I'm sorry that you're hurting like this," he said.



An apology should have comforted me but why did it sound so hurtful to my ears. It was the last thing I wanted to hear from him because it would be like all this pain, this suffering, was for nothing.



"I don't want to hear it," I answered. My voice croaked as I tried to stop the tears.



"I understand that you hate me so much right now. You probably don't even want to see me. But I can't leave you like this – not when you are hurting too much. Just let me stay with you," he pleaded. He seemed to be sincere with his words and I wanted to believe that he was doing this for me. But how could I do that if every time I choose to be on his side, he would spread thorns around him to cut my feet. Every time I try to reach out to him, he would produce a dagger to cut my hands. And in every time I give him my heart, he would crush it with his own bare hand and give it back to me – broken and dying. How could I trust his sincerity if I didn't know if it was the Skull or Threy I was talking with?



"You're giving me the sweetest wine and I will drink it knowing that there's poison in it." If only he could taste the poison. If only he could feel my pain.



There was a change in his expression and I couldn't determine if it was pain or anger that was dominating his emotion. At that moment, he became the cold storm that would leave everything around him in devastation.



"Do you really think that things are just easy for me? Do you see me as a man who transformed into a complete evil with his diabolical plans? Do you think that I'm happy to see you crying like this?" He looked exasperated and the frustration was evident in his loud voice. The answers to his questions were obvious but it was still hard for me to find my voice and speak to him. And yes, I did see him as that man who would burn everything around him just to achieve his goal.



"Then tell me everything about how you are feeling. Don't give me puzzles only you can solve or games only the brutal minds can play. I just want the truth," I answered desperately.



He didn't answer right away and became thoughtful for seconds but after a while, he sighed and looked at me directly in my eyes. "I can't tell you everything but if you still trust me, I promise that I'll do my best to give answers to your questions. Please trust me this time," he said.



The anger and disappointment in my heart were still weighing me down but the chance of knowing the truth from him gave me the slightest hint of hope – I had to grab it, I had to hug it. I stared at him and brushed the tears away from my eyes. Would he be true to what he was about to say?



"Is Threy Weston really gone? Did you already forget about him? Why did you leave the West Land –"



He stopped me from speaking by touching my cheeks. And just like that old time when he kissed my lips, my cheeks started burning and I knew I just showed how I really feel about him. Damn it! Even his little touch could affect me like this!



"You are still my blushing tomato," he said, a little smirk was curving on his lips.



I swallowed and averted my eyes from him. Was he teasing me right now? "I'm not your blushing tomato," I snapped at him. "It's the cold night's fault that my cheeks are red right now," I lied.



If it happened years ago, he would probably continue on teasing me until I get annoyed and march away from him. But he didn't and instead, he just gazed intently at me. I had no idea about what was going on in his mind and I wasn't sure if I still would want to know it. His cold, grey eyes were making my body warmer and uncomfortable.



"T-That – That didn't answer my questions. Why did you leave the West Land?" I stuttered. I must focus and not let this silly emotion distract me.



The smirk immediately faded from his lips and the coldness in his eyes reflected on his expressions. It was probably one of those hundreds of things he didn't want to let me know and I knew he had reasons. But right at the moment, I didn't care. I just wanted to understand or I would go crazy fighting for things I knew nothing about.



When few minutes had passed and he still didn't speak, I decided that it would be best to leave each other alone. I was about to turn my back on him and sworn to pretend that he didn't exist when I heard his voice.



"Because the mainland is not a fairy tale land or what you believed it is to be. It was darker and pathetic, and I was sick of it," he finally said.



I frowned in confusion. The Weston Family was one of the wealthiest families in the mainland and the people in their territory claimed to be governed well by them. My father would always tell me how great and powerful the West Land was because of the Westons. "I don't understand it. It is our home that kept us safe when we were young. Why would you hate it that much?" I asked.



"I'm sorry but I can't tell you about it right now," he answered. Impatience started to build inside me. He was always keeping secrets and even though he gave a little share of the truth, it wasn't enough to save me from the dark.



I wanted to ask him more about the mainland that I didn't know about but his expression told me that I wouldn't be getting more from him. He seemed to be walking on the edge and if I push him harder, he would become a wall and the truth would forever slip away. I decided to change my card and promised myself that I would still get back to him about the secrets of the mainland.



"What about the mermaid?" I didn't want to ask this question because I knew where it could go. But I had to be sure because if this time was the moment he claimed that he would tell the truth, maybe, the thing about the mermaid was also a part of his façade. I had to risk another broken piece of my heart. "Do you really care about her?"



I looked into his eyes and I knew it was once again one of the questions he didn't like answering. It was either he already told me the answer, or she was also a part of the enigma I didn't understand about. When it took him time to respond, I closed my eyes and sighed. Damn it, Primrose. Why did you have to cross the line again when you knew what's already on the other side?



"She was the key to a new world that I want to build. And yes, she's important to me," he suddenly said which made me open my eyes again.



I didn't care whatever her role was to the Skull. There was just one thing I wanted to confirm. I wanted to know the truth. "Do you love her?"



It was like a déjà vu. I asked him about this before and his answer was still echoing in my head – still breaking my heart. But there was a chance that he lied on that day and I had to take hold of that chance. I looked at him as I waited for an answer and when it didn't come; tears started falling in my eyes. It still hurt like the first time I learned it.



"That's all I can take for now. Please leave me alone." I tried so hard to hide my pain from him and started turning my back. But instead of leaving me, he suddenly grabbed my shoulder and pulled me to his chest. And that's when the effortless fluidity of tears fell. I hated that I was breaking down in his arms and at the same time, I was glad that I did because this was where I wanted to be.



"I thought that if I told you I love her, it would help you kill your feelings for me. I'm sorry that I'm causing you this pain," he said as he tightened his arms around me.



Wait! What? I tried squirming from his grasp but he didn't let me go. "How could you be so evil? How could you do this to me?" I cried loudly because of annoyance and hope that started flickering inside me. "And what about me? Is everything just a lie? What about the kiss that night that I remembered so well? What about those times when you saved me and showed me that you care? Because if you are only playing games with me then what the hell?" Those questions flowed from my lips and I wasn't able to stop them. It was a combination of relief and uncertainty. I was stuck between loving him and hating him; of believing him and not trusting him.



"You are the signal fire that guides me and the wildfire that destroys me. You are a little bit of heaven and a little taste of hell. You are everything and nothing. You are here and not here," he answered pensively.



I didn't fully understand the world he was talking about but there was only one thing that mattered to me right at that moment: that despite the odds not favoring on us, I meant something to him.



"Like the oldest wine, I'll drink every word you said, the memories I couldn't forget, the heartache that seemed to have no end," I whispered silently.



I didn't know how long he kept me in his arms. I didn't care. The embarrassment on the stage was worth it for if I didn't show how I really felt at that time, he wouldn't be holding me in his arms. All I knew at that moment was the night was cold and I was in the safest, warmest place in the world: in his arms.