Chapter 35: The Darkest Morning

After the morning emergency meeting with the pirate captains of the Pirate City, they demanded for me to not go back to the Obsidian and stay in the grand vessel for the mean time. I occupied one of the rooms which were apparently looking better than my cabin in the Obsidian. But no matter how elegant and feminine it was, it still failed to bring me comfort just like what I had in my small cabin.

Cecilia knocked on my door and walked me to the bathroom of the grand vessel where several maidens were already waiting for me. They were going to clean me again like I was a piece of a dirty doll that needed to be cleaned before being placed on a beautiful cabinet. I let them do what they had to do silently. I had a lot of things going on in my head that I had no energy to fight them when they started getting rid of my clothes. Cecilia let the other women leave when I was already placed in a rose-scented bath tub. I leaned on it as I soaked my body with warm water. It somehow helped to calm my nerves.

"You hate me, too. Right?" I suddenly murmured when I saw that I was already left in the room with Cecilia. She was preparing the dresses that I might choose to wear. And just like the last time, they were all seductive and showing a lot of skin. But why did it matter now? I didn't think there would be a dress I could wear to make anyone in this ship like me.

"Why would I hate you, Jonah of the Obsidian?" she asked back. I felt a sting when she called me by that title. It was like I was a curse that fell upon them.

"You don't have to deny it, Cecilia. I could feel it. You told me I was a gem. Well, I guess this time, you think of me as the opposite."

She wasn't able to answer right away. Maybe because it was true and I just confirmed it by the way she glared at me. But that glare didn't last for a long time and it was instantly gone the moment she walked toward the bath tub I was in.

"You're still a gem in my eyes. However, you are the kind of gem that would burn ships. You are too precious that would make people kill for you," she said.

I felt a pang of guilt in my chest as I listened to her. She was right. I had killed people in the pirate ship that kidnapped me. I killed the crazy man in the Forsaken Island. And this time, I was threatening the lives of people from both sides of the war. And I was in the middle of it, watching helplessly as I wait for the battle to unfold before me. I felt my eyes became hotter until tears made its way down my cheeks.

"Oh, it isn't my intention to make you cry. I apologize for the things I've said," Cecilia said, panicking. She seemed to be confused on what to do to make me stop crying. She attempted to touch me and when she hesitated, I made a move and wrapped my arms around her. I didn't know her, the only thing I knew about her was her name and that she took care of Captain Rowaen's important visitors. But her body was so soft and warm, and when she put her arms around me, I felt comfortable. It was probably what I needed at the moment.

When she finally let go of me, she wiped my tears and gave me a kind smile. She seemed to be a very serious person whenever she was dealing with me and the other girls, but at that time, she was amicable.

"If blood would be shed, it wouldn't be blood in your hands. We are pirates. And it is just a normal day in our world," she said gently.

"But it will be because of me. I am not worth it. I am not worth sacrificing of someone's life," I answered.

"Do you think they would fight if they think you are not worth it? The pirates aren't fools. I saw the Skull when I was on your way to your room. He seemed to be really pensive while looking at your closed door. I'm sure he wouldn't let you get hurt."

I looked at her a little bit surprised. I didn't know that the Skull lingered outside my door. I thought he went back to the Obsidian after the meeting was finished. If I only knew that he stayed, I would have asked him to accompany me. And then we would just hold each other because I didn't think words would matter this time.

"But if he really was worried, why he didn't come to me? Why did he stay outside instead of holding me in his arms?" I asked silently, more to myself.

Cecilia looked at me thoughtfully before tucking the loose hair behind my ear. "Because sometimes, distance is a necessity in a situation - it can make you think of it wisely without distraction from other people. It can make you feel everything and see things clearly and decide rightly. Being alone can ease confusion. And maybe, that's what he wanted for you to do."

I thought of my last conversation with the Skull, about how I never wanted to separate with him and how I didn't want to be the cause of the incoming battle. He said I was a butterfly and the world was not a paradise yet so I needed to go back to the garden -my garden - the mainland.

After the bath I slipped into a red gown that clung to every curves of my body. And even though it didn't show too much of my chest, it revealed my arms and almost the whole of my back that I had to let my hair down to cover it. When I looked at the mirror, I saw the red woman staring back at me. She was definitely stunning because of Cecilia's great work. However, the sadness and pain in her blue-greenish eyes were visible. Well, I guessed the diamonds cry when they were shaped into jewelry of stars.

There were no shows at the grand hall that night, only pirates who were silently eating and talking with each other. I only saw the Skull after dinner and that was when the pirate captains and their trusted mates were planning for defense. I could almost feel their confidence in winning this battle. However, when I tried to look at the Skull's eyes, I could only see uncertainty. He didn't speak or participate, he just listened to them silently, or maybe that was how he appeared to be. For all we knew, maybe he had his mind somewhere else. And when our eyes met, he averted his gaze to another direction and pretended that he was attentive in their plan-making.

"So, how does it feel to be center of it all?"

I turned to the voice who suddenly spoke behind me. Janeia, the mermaid - because of her talent and way of charming people, sat on the chair next to me. She was wearing her gold dress that almost showed a lot of her skin. Her long, golden brown hair was pulled up in a perfect bun showing her long, slender neck. Her topaz eyes scrutinized me before drinking on the wine she had in her hand.

"I didn't want it," I replied, clearly understanding what she had meant.

She gave me a mocking smile and asked, "Do you enjoy watching the Skull look so worried about you? Do you like how his eyes darkened with fury as they plan for their counter-attack when your people come? Does it boost your pride as a woman knowing that he would kill anyone for you?"

Listening to her made me realize how deep words could cut and how at that moment she defeated me by just sitting on the chair in front of me. The darkness and sadness in my heart intensified as I turned to look at the Skull again. They were like soldiers preparing for a great war, and the reason of it was me. It was tearing my heart to know that they're going to put their lives on the line because of me.

"Do you really think that I want this war to happen? I care for the Skull - I love him." There, I said it. "I don't know how you are feeling for him but I've been in love with him for a long time now. The Skull getting hurt is the last thing that I want to happen."

This confrontation was less physical and more on torturing me emotionally. I felt so tired. I was gasping for breath. It was like I had an epic brawl with a bulky monster and I knew there was no way that I could win but I still had to continue punching. I stood up ready to leave, but she immediately got me by my arm. I turned to look at her, and then to her hand that was gripping me tightly. By the way that she was holding my arm, it seemed that she wanted to hurt me. It was like by doing so, she could harm me.

"Let go of me, Janeia." I gritted my teeth as I felt pain by my arm. It would surely be bruised. I wanted to shout at her. I wanted to scream at her. However, there was a part of me saying that I deserved this pain - this misery. So I just let her try her best to snap my arm into two.

"Don't you think it's enough? You and your family had already ruined too many lives. I've lost everything. The Skull is my only hope. And now, you're trying to take him away from me. You're trying to ruin the things we've planned!"

I wanted to tell her that she was just obsessed with the Skull and that she didn't have to make him her only option. I wanted to tell her that yes, if I must, I would take the man I loved away from her. But I couldn't do that - not when she said that my noble family had ruined lives - not when they had plans I didn't know of.

"What do you mean?" I asked instead.

A sarcastic smile spread across her face and pulled me violently towards her. For a slender woman like her, she seemed to be too strong. Well, that's what this pirate world would turn you into.

"Poor little Jonah. You really don't know anything, do you?" she whispered mockingly.

I desperately pulled my arms away from her again and again; it almost felt like I was escaping from her deadly clutch. When she decided to let go of my arm, I was caught off-guard and the force pulled me towards the opposite direction until I fell on the ground. The conversation silenced on the hall and once again, I was the focus of their attention. I was trying to get on my feet as fast as I could when a hand held my arm and pulled me up. I turned to see the Skull glaring on the mermaid's direction. Janeia looked innocent as she stared at the Skull pleadingly.

"I didn't do anything -" Janeia started. It was now her turn to be defensive.

But the Skull saw through her and he cut her off by snapping, "I saw everything."

Janeia looked down on her feet like a kid who was just caught doing something bad. Gone was the feisty cat that was clawing me with her sharp nails a while ago. The Skull had a glimpse of my arm that was starting to have discoloration and I didn't know how to hide it with this dress.

"I know you are upset about everything, Janeia, but I will not let you hurt her. If you try to touch her again -"

"Then what?" she suddenly faced us with tears in her angry eyes. "You're going to throw out everything we planned? What about me, the Skull? I lost everything and you promised that you would be with me. Why are you choosing her over me?" She was screaming and becoming more emotional. And at that moment, we became the center of attention of the whole Pirate City. They seemed to find us more intriguing than the incoming battle.

"Janeia, stop it," the Skull said gently this time. I understood that somehow, he cared for her. He had been looking for her all this time, until I appeared in their world and made things more complicated.

"No! You wake up and stop it! She's just a woman for goodness' sake!" she retorted and then marched away from us.

I had a lot of questions for the Skull and I also liked the way he was holding me - gentle as if I was the most precious thing in the world. He was so protective and I would like to stay with him a little bit longer. But the stares I was receiving from the pirates made me so uncomfortable and the outburst of Janeia stirred me up completely. I knew I had to leave. I pulled my arm from his gentle hand and started walking away. I didn't know if I would be sad because he didn't stop me or I should be relieved because he let me go. The only clear thing was that I was miserable.

That night, I wasn't able to have a good sleep. Well, I didn't really sleep well during these past few days. It was like we had a storm every day that was troubling us. The night over the sea was never calm. Janeia's words about my family were continuously echoing in my head. How did she know about my family? And what was her plan with the Skull?

I was beginning to get tired but not sleepy when I realized that morning was already lighting up the pirate world. It was still silent in the grand vessel so I padded towards the deck and grabbed the spyglass I saw hanging by the hall. I looked around the ships surrounding the Pirate City. There were pirates patrolling their areas and using the spyglass, I saw Cecilia talking to a pirate on one of the deck of the ships. I couldn't see who she was talking with because of his back turned to me but they seemed to be serious in their conversation. I turned to look on the other direction and I saw a young man, probably the age of Erasmus, looking up at me through the crows' nest of their ship. He was also using a spyglass and he smiled when he realized that I was also looking at him. He was a cute boy, and he seemed to be having fun being a pirate. I remembered how happy Erasmus was when he was singing and playing his ukulele. For sure, this young boy also had his dream. I was about to turn to see the other ships when he suddenly fell from the crow's nest to the deck. Shocked, I looked at his unmoving body, fear and worry started to overwhelm me. What happened? Is he alright? There were no pirates on the deck and no one seemed to notice his fall. I check his body and saw an arrow pierced on his back. When he started moving slowly, I turned to look for people to help him. But as I caught a glimpse of the horizon, I couldn't help but hold my breath when I saw dark figures starting to appear on it. And when the dark figures, which apparently are ships, started growing in number, I couldn't help but felt my heart beat faster with nervousness and fear. I looked at it one more time before running back to the hall of the grand vessel. I saw pirates drinking ale and some were drinking coffee on the tables. I breathed in before screaming loudly. I hoped my voice would be enough for them to hear me.

"They're coming! The ships are coming!"

And at that moment, I thought the world stopped for a second before moving again in a chaotic speed of running and getting weapons. Well, I guessed I had no choice but to start the war.