Chapter 39: A New Perspective

I lost track of the time. All I remembered were the coldness, sadness and darkness that seemed to accompany me during the rest of the journey back to the mainland. It felt like I was there but I wasn't living - that there was no point in my existence since I lost all the capability to make choices. And at that time, I accepted whatever fate the heaven gave upon me. If it was my end then let it be. I guessed I had finally lost the strength to resist.

However, sometime during the last day of sailing, I began to regain my strength. The pain and reality came back in one strong blow that the first thing I did when I got rid of the weakness was to cry my eyes out again. Because who knew if I would still have the chance to cry in the mainland? I doubt if they would see mourning for the lost pirates reasonable on my side. They would probably never understand. And as I cried my last tears for the pirates who had grown a huge place in my heart, a particular face captured the whole of my mind. And I felt sad remembering the last few words we said, the broken promises we shared.

The promises we made meant nothing at all the moment he didn't come back to me - the moment I decided that I should leave. And for something that had no meaning, why did it hurt so bad remembering those words. It was like my heart remembered every breath and sound of it, every second I waited for him and the exact point when I realized that he would never come. And at that moment, I was still convincing myself that the promises we made meant nothing at all - for he didn't come back - for I didn't wait for him long enough. Maybe it meant nothing - and maybe it meant everything.

The door opened and light flooded the room. I never thought that a cabin in the sea could be this bright; there must be a huge progress with the machinery in the West Land - a progress that could be shared to the land beyond the mainland.

Tarnus sat on the bed and I felt his hand touched my forehead. I saw relief in my eyes and he smiled at me, and it hurt me that I couldn't return it. He had been good to me all this time and I knew I had to at least appreciate his effort in saving me.

"I'm glad that you seem to be better now. Your fever is gone and the color is back on your face," he stopped for a moment and continued, "You're still beautiful."

His last words were almost a whisper, like they weren't meant to reach my ears. But it did and I couldn't help the blush that made its way to my cheeks. He blinked and straightened, as if he was just awakened from his dream. He stood up and paced the room, unsure of what he would say next.

"We'll be arriving at the Sea Port City before dusk considering that the weather will be on our favour. You're going to be finally home, Lady Primrose," he said.

I smiled sadly at him. I failed in trying to be happy with the news. It made it seem more real this time - made me feel more - telling me that it wasn't just a bad dream. He saw my lack of enthusiasm about what he had announced but he preferred not to question it. He just looked at me, understanding the things that must be hard for him to understand.

"Whatever it is that's bothering you, I hope you know that your father and mother are waiting for you. They are the ones who will be the happiest when you come back."

I remembered the face of my father who was looking at me proudly the time I learned how to ride a horse. He even bragged to his companions that his daughter could slay things like a man. My mother would just look at me, worried and horrified at my torn dress. She would scold me by being unladylike before bed and plant kiss on my forehead. I had been selfish for not wanting to be back. At some point during my journey in the pirate world, I had forgotten about them and how they were suffering at my disappearance. And I wanted to punch myself hard for that.

I refused to leave the room for the rest of the journey. It was my last act of resistance, a last fight for a losing battle. And when I felt the ship dock on the port, I stood up and prepared myself. A soft knock on the door caught my attention and I waited until Tarnus opened it.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

I nodded and followed him to the deck. We remained silent the whole time and I was grateful because I didn't want him to see how unwilling I was to be home. I stopped before I reached the entrance to the deck. I scanned the interior of the marine ship and continued walking. It was tiring and weakening that every step I took seemed to be heavy. It was like there was a weight that was pulling my feet from moving towards the end of the deck.

I sighed as my feet landed on the canoe that would bring me to the shore. Tarnus remained at my side probably hinting my uneasiness with the situation. I looked straight ahead and I saw people in elegant gowns and clothes standing on the edge of the shore. It almost looked like a festival was happening because of the colorful dresses they were wearing. I spotted my parents few meters from the shore - and I focused on them. The image of their happy faces seemed to lift a part of the heaviness in my heart. It was the only hope I could grasp at the moment so I held on to it.

I breathed deeply when the canoe reached the shore. I knew that the moment I step on the sand, things would never be the same - my world would forever change. Tarnus got off first before offering his hand so he could help me out of the canoe. I took it and watched my feet touched the sand. And as I looked up to the eager faces watching me, I knew that I would be seeing things differently.

My mother ran to my direction and I found myself in her arms. I returned her embrace and was happy that I once again felt her warmth. My father was on her side and when my mother finally released my body, his arms welcomed me.

"Oh, my child! They didn't hurt you, did they?" I felt my mother's fingers brushed gently against my hair. She pulled me gently from my father only to inspect if I was wounded. She sighed in relief when she realized that I was fine. If only she knew that the wound I was enduring at the moment was buried at the deepest of my heart - cutting my soul and tainting the hope I had.

"I am so happy to have you back, my little one. My heart was dying every single day I woke up without you by our side. Please promise me that you will never be away from us again." My mother broke down in tears and I pulled her in my arms, suppressing my own cries.

"I'm longing for you, mother," I whispered and I hoped that with this, she could feel how much I loved her.

I was being selfish by not becoming fully happy of the idea of finally being home. Part of my heart was probably left in the middle of the sea, floating to nothingness, but my love for my family was unquestionable. They were the only thing constant in this forever changing world.

"Oh, dear, it must be terrible being taken away by those pirates. Don't worry, the mainland will give you justice," she said, still concerned.

The mainland will give justice. Somehow, the combination of mainland and justice seemed to be troubling. If I wasn't able to meet the pirates and the people of the Forsaken Land, I would have trusted it. But at that moment, I found myself doubting as I scanned my eyes to the people surrounding us. They all smelled of wealth and expensive perfume, they were a picture of elegant clothes and bountiful homes. And it all felt surreal after living beyond the mainland - beyond the horizon. It all felt deceptive.

"The rooms in the castle are prepared for my dear guests. The dinner must be ready in a couple of hours. You can stay with us for the night," Lord Magnus Weston's voice was as clear as a bomb in a chaos. I looked at him and was met by the same gray eyes. Even though this pair was old and wrinkled, it still possessed the authority the family's blood carried.

"We appreciate your hospitality, Lord Magnus. My daughter adored the West Land even before she was kidnapped. We will be forever grateful of your help," my father answered.

"We will heighten the security and never let such incident happen again," he reassured us.

We rode horses back to the West Land's castle. When I was taken away from this land, I remembered the stadium being on fire. And as I examined it, I realized that a new stadium was built - it was bigger and more grandiose than the previous one. I had been gone for months and they were already able to make a new building. How huge were the resources of the West Land?

"Impressive, isn't it?" a tanned man who was wearing warrior's uniform rode beside me. I looked at him blankly and then turned my sight back to the stadium.

"You could say that," I answered coldly. I was impressed by how fast the West Land recovered. But I just couldn't push the thought away from my mind that something was wrong.

"You aren't completely enthralled. It makes me wonder whether you found better structures in whatever land or sea those pirates were living." He seemed to not pick up the thought that I was not interested in his companionship.

"Who are you?" I asked instead.

"I am General Amir Kaveera of the South Land. I would drop on my knees and bow to you and have the honor of kissing your hand but we're on our horses and they're moving so the only thing that I could offer you is my genuine smile," he introduced causing a smirk forming at the edge of my lips. I didn't know how to properly give a smug smile like this until I saw it from the pirates - from the Skull. And oh, how satisfying it felt when he looked at me with amusement in his eyes.

"If I had known that the lady we were rescuing is a gorgeous woman, I would have brought all my men," he remarked, amused.

Good thing you didn't or you would erase the whole pirate world. I tried not to dwell on that thought. I wasn't the Jonah of the Obsidian at the moment; I was Lady Primrose Crimson of the East Land. I had the responsibility to be civil and loyal to my land - to not put it in jeopardy and embarrassment - to act like the Crimson blood running in my veins was the most important thing of all.

"You're telling me that the men of the South Land could only function in full force when there's a beautiful woman on sight. What kind of weapon do you use? Is it sharper and longer than the swords you wield?" What I learned from the pirates was that if you wanted to disarm a man without doing a fight, attack him in the most sensitive part - his ego.

"That was not what I meant, my lady." He put up a straight face. He wasn't able to give a more acceptable explanation until I was already few meters ahead of him. Maybe he would think twice this time before coming up to me.

I could feel the eyes of the people of the West Land on me as our party paraded to the castle. It felt like being a main character in a show. Tarnus was immediately on my side sensing my discomfort. He still treated me like I was a fragile thing. He should have seen how I defeated a general from the South Land. He would probably laugh as I would say I did it without piercing a sword to his heart.

When we reached the West Castle, I was welcomed with the familiar atmosphere I was used to whenever I go to the West Land. However, this time, it was accompanied by greater sorrow, of yearning, of emptiness that seemed to increase as I walked towards the room prepared for me. I decided to be alone with myself as I waited for this banquet the Westons arranged for us. If I would be the one to choose, I prefer to just stay in this room for the night, with no questions to answer and no eyes to meet. But I had just come back and saving me seemed to be a big deal in the mainland. I guessed being a Crimson gave me the responsibility to face them.

After a couple of hours of just having a staring competition against the ceiling of the room and also with the maids who helped me into a heavy, beautiful dress and made me look presentable, I was summoned to the dining hall. It felt different having several of maidens walking behind me, willing to assist with my needs. When I was in the pirate world, no one would do these simple things for me. Well, aside from when I was in the Pirate City where Cecilia helped me in those beautiful, seductive gowns - oh, that traitor!

Everyone was seated when I entered the dining hall. I eyed the vacant place between my parents and assumed that I must take that seat. Mouth-watering dishes were artistically presented on the table waiting for us to savour. My fingers immediately reached the large chunk of roasted meat in front of me but I stopped after a bite as I realized that every pairs of eyes were directed at me. I looked at them confused as I chewed the delicious juicy meat inside my mouth.

Lord Magnus cleared his throat as if recovering from an immobilizing surprise as he stood from where he was seated. He raised his glass of wine and said, "For the safe return of our magnificent Lady Primrose Crimson of the East Land."

I grabbed mine following everyone as they raised their own glasses. It felt strange knowing that this toast was for me. I remembered when the pirates caught a huge tuna and the time when we were finally able to eat meat after a long voyage in the sea. They drank their ales as if their resources weren't limited, and danced and sang until they fell asleep and tired on wherever part of the ship. But right at the moment, the people around this table seemed to be too cold and rigid for a toast. They seemed to be raising their glasses for their own different goals. And I therefore conclude that this toast was not entirely for me.

"We are just getting started in our goal of annihilating the pirates. We claimed the victory of the first war and I assure you that it would never be the last. We will never stop until we bring justice to the lives and things the pirates have stolen. And we are grateful for this young lady for if it wasn't for her, it would take forever for us to make a huge move," he continued.

I was starving and the thought that he was telling us that it was I who started this war was making me furious. I knew the rules in the West Land and I must not make a sound of Threy's name but wasn't he worried that his son was actually beyond that horizon, sailing and battling every monsters he needed to fight?

"Moreover, this feast is also for the unity of the four lands, of the four ruling families, of the people of the West, East, North and South. May we continue to prosper and lead our lands to a better future."

And we drank on the bittersweet wine in our hands. The liquid made its way down to my throat and reaching my heart. It was achingly sad and any kinds of alcohol would not make it forget the emptiness that was rotting it away. When it was my turn to speak, I stood up and looked straight at Lord Magnus, as if my speech was directed at him.

"It is an honor to help you find your balls and sail the sea with a huge fleet to wage war against the pirates," I said.

Gasps and few snickers echoed around the table as Lord Magnus' face turned red with embarrassment and annoyance. I was not in the mood to feed his ego and worship him for his 'great' act.

"I want to express my gratitude for the warriors who risked their lives on saving me but apparently, they aren't here with us in this table so I would save the rest of my speech when I get out of here and see them," I continued and sat down.

Silence filled the room as I drank the rest of my wine. I thought it would go on until we finished our dinner and I honestly preferred it that way until someone broke the silence and spoke.

"If it isn't too much, can you tell us a story about the time when you were with those monsters? You know, we are very curious and we're dying to know what really happened to you," a young woman in an elegant silver gown asked. She was seated beside Lord Emmanuel Frost of the North Land.

"Lady Tanya, I don't think she's comfortable talking about it for now," Chester, who was sitting beside her, said.

I was amused that he wasn't making any move to pester me. The last time I saw him, he was trying to force me on my bed and I glared at him for that. I had to confront him when I get the chance. However, I also remembered him fighting the pirates as they took me. He must be of guilt for we didn't have a good parting.

"You want to hear an interesting story your teeth could sink in, yes? Then I'll tell you a story," I said and looked at the people who were curiously waiting for me to speak again. I sighed deeply as I straightened on my seat and looking directly at Lord Magnus, I broke an unspoken rule in the West land:

"Lord Threy Weston of the West Land is not dead and he is now sailing with the pirates."

And that was how I realized that the pirate world completely changed me. It gave me new eyes to see things in different perspective. And whether it would bring me to peace or danger, at that moment, I wasn't so sure. Who knew what kind of monsters live in the mainland?