Chapter 49: The Lake of Dreams

The Lake of Dreams was a serene park located in the middle of the Eastern woods. Its water was deep and dark that it was almost impossible to see what was lying underneath the lake. Some people claimed that they could hear hollow voices calling them whenever they pass in this part of the Eastern woods. Thus, there were only few who would take this path to get to where they were going. Those who intentionally came and visit usually had flowers to throw on the water as they whisper silent prayers. It was also forbidden to swim on it.

The people of the East Land and the rulers were gathered in front of the Lake of Dreams. I tried to remain strong as I held my crying mother in my arms. I had to hold her tight for she might be running again to the wooden canoe where the body of my father, surrounded with beautiful, fresh flowers, was lying. A priestess of the East Land started to utter prayers for the dead. We believed that this ceremony would bring peace to the soul of my father and that he would bring our love wherever he goes after this life. The final rite was to cleanse the soul and body by fire before letting it sail to the Lake of Dreams where the dead's soul would find the portal to the afterlife. I often wondered if the bed of this lake was mostly consisted of sand and ashes from the dead. The Lake of Dreams reminded us that in death, we're all equal – with nothing left of us but memories. Ofcourse, no one would be crazy enough to swim on it.

When the prayers were finished, I ushered my mother to the canoe where we said our final farewells to my father. My mother's body became heavier to carry as she held on to the canoe. She didn't want to let my father go. And I didn't want, too. However, life didn't stop for anyone – not even for us. It was better to give my father his peace and face the war he left behind. Tarnus was immediately at my side and helped me with my mother. And with a deep, sad sigh, I motioned for the priestess to proceed with the cleansing. My mother's wail became louder as the canoe began sailing with fire slowly consuming it. I remained stoic as I watched the remnants of the canoe slowly disappeared to the depth of the lake. I clenched my fist on my side as I stopped myself from swimming the Lake of Dreams and retrieve every bit of my father's ashes. I didn't want to let go but I couldn't show them that. Doubting my ability to lead the East Land had already given me a huge blow. I would not give them the satisfaction of seeing my weakness.

However, regret started to fill me as I met my mother's tear-stricken eyes. She finally looked awake and aware of what was happening around her. And I bit my lip as I saw anger and disappointment in her eyes. My heart clenched as she tried to free herself from my tight embrace and shaking her head slowly, she trudged back to the waiting carriage.

I decided to let her go as Tarnus ushered me to the other waiting carriage. The attendees of the ceremony started to go to their horses and carriages to go back to where they came from. Now that the ruler of the East Land had already found peace in the Lake of Dreams, there was no reason for them to stay longer in the East Castle – unless, they were the council members who would discuss the condition of my betrothal to Lord Chester.

"Mother, can I talk with you for a moment?" I asked when I entered her room. That night, I decided that whatever my mother was holding against me, I must face it. She's the only one that was left to me. I would do anything to earn her forgiveness.

"Why?" she snapped, looking at me through her huge vanity mirror. The servant who was helping her with her hair and night dress immediately excused herself and left us. My mother, gone was the wallowing one, stood confidently and walked towards my direction. I began to feel intimidated at how she was showing her power in front of me.

"I know you're mad at me. Please know that I tried really hard to keep the East Land and the Crimson family in power. It's just that these people are so cunning, it made me feel that they planned for it all along." I began to feel frustrated and caged. Under my mother's scrutinizing glare, I felt like I had no one to turn to – like I was bare and there was no way for me to hide anything from her.

Lady Adeline's stern look softened when she realized that I was desperately reaching out to her. She probably saw me as her helpless child who had failed to do what she was needed to attain. But instead of holding me, she crossed her arms and said, "You're right. I'm mad at you."

"Mother..." I gasped, completely surprised. Ofcourse, I knew that she would be disappointed upon hearing everything. But I wasn't expecting that she would be confirming those things in front of my face.

"I'm mad because you didn't wait for me to recover after those nights that I wasn't myself. You faced it all like a lone wolf in the middle of a conspiring pack. I'm mad because the situation turned out like this: suffering and sacrificing yourself for our sake! I'm mad because when I finally came to my senses, everything was decided and I realized that I wasn't able to help you during those times when they were humiliating our family in our own castle!" she sighed deeply and finally, she reached out for me. She welcomed me in her warm embrace as she placed her hand gently on my hair. "I was scared when I saw the look on your face earlier this morning. You're so cold, like your father's body. I thought that I had been gone for a few days and this is what they made out of you: a heart that is as hard as a stone. At that moment, I thought I lost my little Primrose, too."

I didn't realize that tears had already dampened my cheeks as I hugged my mother back. Her embrace was a sanctuary I had been trying to find for the past days. And I drank to its warmth and security. My mother's love was like an elixir of life that rejuvenated my tired soul. And at that moment, I found my strength to face whatever was coming on my way.

"You're not going to lose me, mother. You'll never lose me," I assured her. And without any doubt, she believed me.

That night, I stayed in her room and talked about how the meeting with members of the council turned out. We agreed that I would be going back to the West Land as soon as possible and stay there for the preparation of the wedding. The Westons didn't like wasting time; they wanted it to happen as soon as they can provide a grandiose one.

And as for me, as long as they would leave my mother and the East Land in the temporary care of Tarnus, I would cooperate. I talked with Aiden and he asked to accompany me with the other soldiers. He said he would be very much helpful when he's near the sea. It was a hard decision to make, considering that the West Land was not really into treating the pirates well. But I made a request and made sure that he would be considered as part of my security. Apparently, the Westons were too confident and were sure that they would be able to handle a free pirate so they allowed it in the condition that they would he wearing the East Land soldiers' training uniform and would be under my head of security's command. The other pirates decided to remain in the East Land - they had started to plant crops in the land given to them and somehow, they were making progress. I was also hoping that they would help with the security of the land.

My mother hated the thought that I would be going to the West Land without her, but I insisted that keeping her safe and the loyalty and confidence of the people of the East Land are more important. As long as they're fine, dancing in the enemy's territory would be worth it.

I was only able to stay for a couple more days in the East Castle before the Westons summoned me to the West Land. Tarnus was clearly not delighted about it but he still made his promise to keep my mother and the East Land safe. He had no choice but to trust his soldiers and the free pirates of my security. Seeing that Dorothy wouldn't be comfortable living in the castle with my mother, I decided to bring her with me as my personal servant.

The journey to the West Land was silent; the young girl sitting across me was busy reading a book she got from the East Castle library. When we got near the border to the West Land territory, I pulled the window of the carriage open and gazed at the sight where my father was ambushed to his death. I thought that arrows would be flying on our direction at any moment. However, the attack didn't come until the soldiers of the West Land welcomed us and escorted my group to their castle.

I was expecting to have weapons and guards waiting for us in the castle, prepared whenever we break their rules. But I was surprised to see Lord Chester at its entrance, smiling widely at us while a brass band was playing their instruments. Apparently, they were able to make a feast for my arrival.

Lord Chester immediately walked towards my carriage and opened the door for me. He smirked as he held my elbow and helped me out of the wagon. I could feel Dorothy rolling her eyes behind me as she helped herself out of the carriage. She wasn't expecting for the young lord to give her any attention.

"Welcome to the West Castle," he greeted warmly. He looked proud as he motioned his hands to the vastness of his home.

I used to love visiting here: partly because of the sunset by the sea and my curiosity about pirates; partly because of the young lord who once lived in here. But it was all different now. I never thought I would hate the place like the way I was currently feeling towards it.

"Lord Chester, there's no need to prepare this kind of welcome," I told him. I was not in the mood for a feast after my father's death and the engagement with him.

But he just chuckled and said, "Oh, but I have to show you the joy of being my wife."

"Not yet your wife," I corrected him in which he just shrugged his shoulders.

"But soon, you will be," he countered.

I decided not to argue anymore. If there's a joy in being his wife, I still failed to find it. And I doubt that I would be finding it soon. With a sigh, I strode past him to the entrance of the West Castle with Dorothy silently following me. It was just like the way I remembered it, grand and elegant.

I saw Lady Amanda and her servants; she still looked sophisticated and confident. She smiled as I approached her direction. I let her kissed my cheeks and hugged me.

"It felt like years since I last saw you," she uttered. She had always been nice to me; she almost treated me like her daughter. I wondered if she was aware of the cunningness of her husband.

"It's just been a few months since I was rescued."

She shook her head as she gazed at me. "I know. It's just that – you look so different. Like you've became a completely different person ever since you came back from being captured by the pirates."

I didn't know how to respond to her. Should I deny it? Confirm it? What should I tell her, when I, too, wasn't sure about myself. Like when and how did I change and if I really did, then what would it make me now?

"I just hope that it is for the better," I said instead and returned her smile. I introduced Dorothy to her as my personal servant and she welcomed her to the West Castle.

Lady Amanda told me that Lord Magnus was at the Sea Port City and had some important business to deal with. At the mention of the city, I couldn't help but remember the sea and the sand that I missed so much. It made me want to leave the castle and visit it, however, I knew that it would be rude not to stay on my first day.

I decided to take a rest since it had been a long journey so, I asked for a room where I could stay. I hated sending Dorothy away with the servants but I knew that I had to let them prepare a room for her. And as for me, Lady Amanda and the rest of her servants accompanied me down the hall to a huge door. I knew that it wasn't a regular room for their guests. I was shocked when they opened the room and showed me where I would be staying.

"It is not a guest room," I muttered as I took in the large space with a king-sized bed in the middle of it. The room was well-decorated, with huge windows to show the Sea Port City and the vastness of the sea beyond it. It was indeed a lovely room.

"It is not – because you belong with us now, Lady Primrose. Rest now, I know you need it. I'll wake you up for dinner," she assured me and left the room.

I was left gazing at the sea through the windows. If my soul could leave me, I would let it fly across the Sea Port City to reach the horizon. But I couldn't do that. Just like my body, my soul felt trap in a place and situation I didn't like. And there's no way I could escape it at the moment.

My luggages were not yet in the room so I assumed that it would be delivered soon. I remembered the times when I wished I could live in the Sea Port City so I could watch the sunset everyday and visit the sea. It was funny that life was giving it to me now in the form of a marriage – obviously telling me that there's more to my wishes – that there were things beyond my eyes could see. And as I lie here in one of the grandest room of the West Castle, I realized that it wasn't what I wanted all along. And yet, I had no choice but to accept it.

I closed my eyes as tiredness slowly consumed me. I drifted into a deep sleep that I didn't notice the entrance of a man I wasn't expecting to be with in the room. I finally woke up to the feeling that someone was staring intently at me. I immediately sat on my bed and came to face with familiar grey eyes. My chest tightened as I realized that it wasn't who I thought it was – who I wished it was.

"Lord Chester," my voice came as a whisper. "What are you doing here?" I glared at him. I couldn't help but feel scared of the situation. Is he going to take advantage of it?

"This is my room. Ofcourse, I will be here," he answered nonchalantly.

Realization occurred to me so I hastily got off the bed and walked towards the door. I frowned as I noticed my luggages near the large walk-in closet.

"I'm going to request for another room," I told him but he grabbed my arm and stopped me.

"Listen, Primrose," his tone was sharper this time. "You're going to be my wife. And you agreed to it. So whether you like it or not, you'll be a Weston." His grip became tighter as I tried to pull my arm. "You're not going to be this cold and disrespect me in my own territory!" he continued.

He saw fear registered on my face and he let go of my arm. I couldn't believe that I would be marrying a monster like him. Being in a room with him was like being in hell.

He sighed deeply and he was finally calm when he said, "We're being summoned for dinner. I was told that you just stayed here after you arrived."

I continued glaring at him. When he realized the privacy I needed, he left the room. I held the dress I chose for dinner but instead of wearing it, I buried my face in it and cried silently. If only I knew that the world I left when I was kidnapped was harsher than the pirate world, I would never have wanted to come back.

I hurriedly fixed myself and went to the dinner. My favourite dishes were served but there was no food that could make me feel better at the moment. I just ate silently, only answering questions when being asked.

I excused myself when I was done eating, saying that I was still tired. I realized that requesting for another room would be useless as they were expecting me to share a room with my soon-to-be-husband.

That night, I remained on my side of the bed and wrapped myself in a thick blanket as if that alone could protect me from the monster I was going to sleep with. I flinched as I heard the door of the room opened. I braced myself for an attack but it didn't come. Instead, Lord Chester sat on his side of the bed. He seemed thoughtful for a moment and as he turned to me, he said, "I will have you soon but not now. I will bend you in more ways than one and make you regret kissing that fucking lord from the North. You're mine now, Primrose. Remember that."

And I felt chill run to my bones as his words registered on my mind. It was clearly a threat. It was a dark promise that would break my sanity. And that time, I wished that I was on a canoe instead; sailing peacefully in the Lake of Dreams and leaving everything behind.