"I'm not staying," I said out loud, crossing my arm and surveying the empty room.

"Yes, you are." He called back from the CG Room.

"No, I'm not." I said, starting to step towards the exit.

"If you step out of my room, I will hunt you down and drag you back." He warned me.

I made a face, even though he couldn't see me. Then, I clapped my hands together when an idea struck.

I whipped around to see he had returned from the CG Room with a small box that looked very...marble-like. He now stood with a wary expression when he saw my face.

Before I could even say a word, he said, "What?" like he knew I had something up my sleeve.

"I have an idea-"

"I am not sure I like where this-"

I waved off his suspicions. I bounced up to him, clasping my hands behind my back and throwing him a bright smile.

He let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair, "I already do not like where this is going." He told me.

I threw him a 'what-are-you-talking-about-pshaw!' look. I was about to start talking, when I stopped, contemplating about something else.

"What, now?" He asked.

I looked at him, "Do you realise we fight and then become normal and then fight and become normal and then-"

"Yes, I am aware we go back and forth a lot." He said, his lips twitching, "It is quite enjoyable."

I made a face at him, "Fighting with me is enjoyable?" I asked him, raising my eyebrows.

He walked to the couch and I followed, wondering if he was going to keep mum about this little revelation he'd just had. When he sat, I sat with him, pulling my knees up and hugging them, while Ryx plopped down in front of us on the floor, his eyes closing, seeming content.

He looked at my expectant expression and let out a chuckle, placed the box between us and leaned back, resting his head against the back of the couch.

"It is enjoyable because you do not mind offending me, or angering me or even," he tossed me a look, "Swearing at me."

I blinked. Had I swore at him before?

"And others do?" I asked, because, obviously, I was going to fish for more. Anything he opened up about I was going to dig more into.

He shrugged, "I do not blame them. They all fear me in their own way."

"They're scared of you?" I asked, throwing him a look that let him know how ridiculous I thought this was.

He turned his head to me and smirked.

"I will take you somewhere tomorrow and show you one of the reasons why." he said, straightening and opening the box, snapping on some gloves that had been inside it.

He took out some bandages, then indicated with a finger that I role my sleeves up. As I followed his instruction, I asked him, "Take me where?"

As he undressed my old bandages, he flicked a look at me, "To our Training Sessions." He said, simply.

Training sessions?

"What did you want to say before?" He asked me, still looking down at my arm.

My gaze caught on his expression. It was intense, concentrated, but there was no furrow between his brows, which told me he didn't find what he was doing troublesome in anyway. His eyes were more amber than coal and his hands were sure and practiced.

He looked up at me and I jolted realising he'd asking something and I was staring at him.

"Oh, yes. I was thinking-"

"Oh, no." Rafe said with a smile, his eyes still trained on what he was doing.

I rolled my eyes, "Ha. Ha. Anyway, I was thinking that I would give you an open."

Rafe stopped what he was doing for a few seconds and looked up at me, "An open?" He asked.

"Yes. If you let me go see Ren, I will give you an 'Open'. You can call in a favour, or an answer, or anything you want, anytime you want it, and I have no out clause or loophole to escape." I said.

He went back to his work.

"That seems like a risky price to pay." He said as he snipped something with the sharp edges of a single blade of steel, that surprisingly looked nothing like a scissor.

"It will be worth it," I said.

He put his things back into a box, taking the old bandages and disposing them, along with his gloves, in a compartment that opened when he spoke something in his language.

He walked back to me and sat down, letting out a breath.

"Truth be told, you have already been granted permission. That was what my father was here for. He had sanctioned the Shift because Anya asked for it, but only later realised it was you. He came to speak about you."

I considered what he said.

"Did you tell him I was taking up his punishment anyway?" I asked.

Rafe nodded, "Yes. He seemed...-"

"Pissed?"

Rafe tossed me a look, "I was going to say surprised."

I grinned, pulling my sleeve back down, carefully over the bandages.

I stretched my arms over my head, ignoring the twinge of pain on my arm that the movement caused.

"So, when do I get to go?" I asked.

Rafe rubbed his middle finger in between his brows, "Whenever you wish." He said.

I sat up, "Tomorrow."

Rafe dropped his arm to his thigh, his hands fisting.

"Your arm-"

"Is fine. Besides, there will be a Health Care Centre at Ren's district, if anything happens, I will go there. I can still go through with my punishment there. I am not postponing this." I said.

Rafe looked at me and shook his head, muttering something under his breath.

"What?" I asked him as he stood up, to walk towards the CG Room.

He didn't reply, continuing forth into the CG Room, ignoring me.

I frowned and got up to follow him. He was standing in front of the large wall of computer screens, watching something, as he pressed a few buttons on the slab in front of him.

"What?" I asked.

"Does it matter?" He asked.

I shrugged, "I guess not," I said.

He turned to face me at that, narrowing his eyes.

I raised my eyebrows, "Did I hurt your feelings?" I asked.

"Do you care?" He asked, his arms crossing.

I stalked over to him, stopping a few inches before him, not caring about his need for space, "Do you realise we keep circling around each other, dancing close...dancing away?"

"What are you trying to say?" He asked me, his jaw hardened.

I crossed my own arms.

"For all the accusations you've made of me, saying I don't think of you as a friend. Do you realise the things you say, the way you look at me...it can really-"

"Confuse you?" He asked, dropping his hands and stepping closer, his gaze dark and hard as he looked down at me.

For the first time, he intimidated me. My own arms dropped and I let my voice lose its coldness, letting him hear the pain and confusion in my voice, knowing that's the only way I could get him to listen to me.

"Yes," I watched him stiffen at the vulnerability in my voice, "It confuses me. You confuse me. Rafe..."

I lifted my hand to place it on his arm. His eyes looked to my hand on his arm and back up at my eyes.

"What are you really thinking?" I asked.

"Does it matter?" He asked again, but his voice was less cold, less uncaring.

"If it didn't, I wouldn't have asked." I told him. I lifted my hands, going to cup his face, but stopped.

He had stilled, his eyes shifting warily between both my hands and my eyes. His jaw clenched, his eyes shut and he let out a slow breath.

I took it as a yes. I let my hands cup his face. I sucked in a breath at the contact as Rafe's warm breath brushed my forehead, stirring the hair there. Warm electricity sped up and down my arm.

"What is happening between us?" I asked him, coming straight to the point, bringing his head closer to mine. His skin was like molten steel beneath my fingers. I let them trail down to the sides of his neck, as I rubbed my thumb back and forth against his pulse. His pulse that was as erratic as mine had become.

"I do not know," he admitted, his eyes still closed.

"Do you trust me?" I asked and his lashes swept up, his eyes burning amber, only hairline cracks of black in them.

I waited as his eyes searched mine. He had fisted his hands at his sides. To keep from pushing me away? Or pulling me closer?

When I thought he wouldn't reply, he said, finally, "As much as I can trust anyone."

I let out a breath, raising to my toes, "I trust you too." I said.

When he looked at me then, and I truly saw a tortured man.

"You should not," he said, as I trailed my fingers into his hair, letting myself press against him.

"That's not up to you," I said as I ran my nails over his scalp, gently; letting his dark silk of hair slipping through my fingers. His whole body shuddered against me and his eyes slipped close, his lips parting ever so slightly.

I lifted myself further and Rafe's eyes snapped open. He hands caught hold of my waist, arresting further movement, "Stop." He said.

His eyes, however, had hooded. His dark lashes sweeping downwards and his heart beating against mine.

"Say it like you mean it and I will." I told him, pushing against his hold. He held on firmer as we glared into each other's eyes, our breaths coming out faster. I dropped my hands to his nape, pulling his head closer to mine.

"Amour..."

I paused, my lips inches away from his skin. The sound of my name scraped raw out of his throat in a half-command, half-plea pulled at my heartstrings. I brought my fingers to his jaw, tilting his face to the side and pressed my lips at the skin just below his jaw.

A breath shuddered through him and I smiled against his skin.

"Stop me," I challenged him, in a whisper, as I lifted my head to press my lips to his cheek. His eyes were shut, his lips parted, but not a word left them.

I smiled against his skin again, the fingers of my other hand playing at the hair that curled at the nape of his neck. I pressed a kiss just below his eyes and felt the flutter of his lashes against my lips.

"Stop me," I commanded again, as I turned his face a little with the hold I still had on his jaw and pressed a kiss to the centre of his brow, where that little furrow would appear sometimes.

His fingers flexed against my waist and he pulled me closer in one single jerk. Now there wasn't even a breath of space between us. My heart pounded harder.

"Do not stop," he whispered out, his eyes still closed, his breath a ragged caress against my skin.

I trailed kisses over his brow, down his cheek, along his jaw, against both his eyes...

But I stayed away from his lips. The one part of him I wanted to kiss the most.

I didn't think he was ready. I didn't even know if I was ready. And I wanted him to kiss me.

The heat of his skin and the warmth of his breath and the feel of his five 'o' clock shadow under my lips almost distracted me from his hands that had trailed up my back and against my nape.

His eyes flashed open and I let out a gasp as he tugged on my hair and tilted my head back. He moved so fast, I was left reeling, my hands fisting against his shoulders, as he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

I shut my eyes and let out a sigh.

More.

I don't know if I said it out or not, but he listened. His warm lips trailed down to peck my nose and I let out a laugh. He kissed my eyes, like I had his. He kissed my cheeks, like I had his.

Electricity buzzed along my veins, making me feel hot. I was breathing heavy and so was he. I let my eyes open, watching him watch me.

"Stop me," he said, as he leaned closer. Impossibly closer. He was pressed to me so tightly I couldn't breathe. I didn't care. I didn't need to breathe. I needed him.

"Stop yourself," I told him. His eyes flashed in humour and his lips lifted in a smirk as he dropped his head to my neck.

I jerked against him when I felt him nip at my pulse. Then he began to suck at the skin there and I almost passed out at the sensation of the tug on my skin paired with the heat of his body pressed against mine and the electricity that shot through my veins and threatened to overload my senses.

"Rafe." I whispered, curling my fingers into my hair. He lifted his lips off of me and I pressed my teeth into my lower lip, cursing myself for distracting him.

"Stop me," he said, his breath erratic bursts against my skin.

"I can't." I admitted, as he lifted his head to look at me.

"Me neither," he admitted as I trailed my hands down his back, kneading his skin through the suit.

His eyes widened and he jerked into me, squeezing his eyes closed and letting out a sharp word.

Four seconds later I almost fell over. I caught myself on the chair that stood beside me as cool air flooded in all the places Rafe had been. He stood a few feet away, his back to me, his hands fisted in his hair as he looked down.

I took a shuddering breath in and I knew, I just knew he was going to regret everything that just happened.

I didn't want to stand here and hear the words he would throw at me now. My heart wouldn't be able to handle it. I don't know when this started...This need.

That he look at me like he just did a few minutes ago. That he hold me like he just did a few minutes ago.

But it was dangerous.

Not because he was as much an alien to me as I was to him, but because I knew I was more invested in this relationship than he was. And that left me with more to lose.

So before he could say anything, I walked out of the room. Out of his room. Right down to mine.

I'm leaving the next day to Ren's, I decided. I needed the space. I needed the time away. I needed to not be around him all the time. I was giving away too much of myself. I didn't mean to do all that. I just wanted...

I let out a breath as I entered my own room and slid down the wall that had closed in behind me.

God, I'd just wanted him to be truthful for once. Just tell me what he really wanted! Just open up! Not shut everything in. Not be in control all the time. Not be so...confusing.

I don't know why I did it. I had to. I needed to touch him like I needed the next breath. And this wasn't good. I told him I wouldn't touch him until he asked me to. I thought I could do it. I really did.

I guess I couldn't. Still can't.

I need to stay away from him.

Because he would never feel the way I do. Not as intensely as I do. It was a need in my blood, an ache in my chest, the rake of nails against my skin and raw pain every time I breathed.

When has this happened?

And why him?

I got to and quickly shoved everything I needed into the backpack I had brought with me from Earth on that fateful day.

Realising I didn't have my communication device that was still lying in pieces at Rafe's, I stalked over to Freesia's room.

After I had knocked on the door four times, Freesia opened it, sleep marks on the side of her face. When she took in my expression, her eyebrows raised.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

I swallowed, "I don't know."

She ushered me in, "What can I do to help?" She asked me.

"Can you message Anya? That I would like to leave tomorrow to Ren's District."

Freesia didn't even hesitate, she got her device, from where it had been on her table, and quickly typed out a message. Once she'd sent it, she looked back up at me.

"You look..."

I met her gaze.

"Like you're running away." She finished.

I swallowed, "I need to...for awhile."

"Is it Ra-" she stopped from saying his name when I quickly looked up.

I nodded.

"What happened?" She asked slowly. "He didn't...hurt you did he?"

I let out a hollow laugh and stayed quiet for a few beats.

"Not in the way you think." I said, finally.

"But he did hurt you?" She asked.

I shook my head, no.

"He didn't do anything. I'm the one who's fault this all is." I said.

A message alert on Freesia's device distracted us. She read the message out loud.

"Be ready at 7. You will have an escort to the Station."

I let out a breath of relief. I got up and gave Freesia a hug.

"I'm okay," I reassured her, "I just need some time to think."

"Okay," she said, seeing the truth in my eyes, "But tell me if I have to cut off someone's balls."

The laugh that came out of me helped ease the knot of tension in me.

After another hug and a word of thanks, I went back to my room and waited for dawn.

-- --

Ta daaaaaaa! You asked for kissing. There was kissing.

Don't tell me I didn't give you anything. :P

Vote and comment sweeties!

Ignore typos if any :)

Laters, 'Gaters!