That night I fell asleep early. Too emotionally wrung out to stay awake any longer.

I woke up disoriented, to the sound of an insistent voice.

What in the world...?

The computer in my room was telling me that someone was swiping their bracelet against the identity screen outside my door. Persistently.

I stood up, muttering, "Yeah, yeah." and telling the computer to let them in.

As soon as the door opened, a rush of silver suit and dark hair darted at me, tackling me into a hug.

I blinked, wrapping my hands around Kylee, confused. The door shut itself as Kylee started letting out little hiccups. I think she was going to cry.

"What happened?" I asked her, worry starting to eat at me.

She started talking, but everything she was saying was going over my head because she had started sobbing.

The only words that caught my attention and shot my nerves to hell was three words that made it through the jumbled mess, "I am pregnant."

I stood there in shock.

"You're pregnant?" I whispered, then added, "Are you sure?"

Kylee looked at me, her eyes red and puffy, still tearing up, her lower lip trembling. She lifted one hand, curling the fingers around her stomach. She nodded.

"I'm pregnant," she confirmed.

I opened my mouth, then closed it.

"Congratulations." I said, pulling her into another hug. She hugged me back, a shocked laugh escaping her.

She pulled back and I rubbed her tears away.

"What are you crying for, silly girl?" I asked.

She caught my hands, her expression turning serious, "I'm scared, Amour." She whispered.

"Because you're pregnant? Pshaw! I'm sure-"

She stopped me, her hands squeezing mine in urgency, "I'm scared because this baby is only half human."

Despite expecting this, I was still shocked, but I schooled my expression because what I was about to say was true.

"It doesn't matter," I said, looking straight into her eyes and letting her know I wasn't lying, "It's no different from having an 'all' human baby."

"Except maybe the freaky eyes," she said.

I snickered, then said, "We'll get through this okay?"

She nodded. "Thank you," she whispered.

Then slowly, she added, "I should have replied to the message you sent. But I just...I couldn't."

The one I had sent her from when I had been in Ren's District, stating I needed to talk to her.

I waved it off. It didn't matter now anyway.

I had more questions, but before that...

"Would you like to take a shower?" I asked her.

Like I'd guessed, her eyes brightened, "Do you have time left?"

I licked my lips. How do I tell her I had unrestricted access to the shower? And why I had it.

I just nodded, "Didn't have time to take a bath today," I lied instead.

She smiled and quickly went into my bathroom after I gave her the night ware I had brought from Earth. Once she got into the bathroom the door closed in behind her.

I was so glad I had set the computer in my room to continue giving me a ten minute warning—which it had originally stopped doing once I'd been given unrestricted access.

I went back to sit on my bed, dropping my face into my hands. I may have a clue who the father was.

More than a clue. It couldn't be anyone else.

Letting out a huff, I dropped back on the bed, my hair flaring out like a fan on the bed.

I let my mind go blank, not ready to think about anything for now.

I didn't know when I drifted off, until I felt the bed dip beside me. I turned to look at Kylee, disoriented for a few seconds before everything came rushing back to me. I opened my mouth, about to ask her a few of the million questions I had, but she placed a hand on mine.

"Can I just sleep? For tonight. I don't..." She swallowed, "I don't want to think about anything."

I could give her that. I could hold my questions for another day. They wouldn't be going anywhere anyway.

I nodded.

We murmured about nothing and everything for sometime, giggling like like little girls, before Kylee finally nodded off.

My thoughts were racing a mile a minute and I couldn't sleep. I was wide awake, staring up at the part of the bed curved above me.

Then, I heard a sound that had my eyes widening.

I shot off the bed—careful not to jostle Kylee—my heart pounding.

Was that—?

When I heard it again, I was out of my room, heading towards the elevator. I walked towards the main entrance once the elevator doors slid open. I slid my bracelet over the identity screen, having no fear that it wouldn't open.

It opened, like I knew it would.

In the back of my mind, the reason for my smooth exit haunted me.

He was most likely watching and had authorised my exit.

I stepped out, my eyes scoring the skies. When lightening struck again, I pressed my eyes closed, but I could see the brightness of the light through my closed lids.

Four seconds later, rain pelted down around me. I smiled into the sky.

This was definitely the best part of my day.

I opened my mouth, sticking out my tongue to catch the sweet drops that fell from heaven.

I felt him then. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised he was here.

His gaze was a heavy weight against my back. I slowly turned around, letting my eyes meet his.

I had to clench my fists to keep from reacting.

The rain had drenched through him as well, and he'd pushed his hair off his forehead. And because the strands were wet, they stayed back and his forehead was on display.

He looked so much...more this way.

I thought about how people always speak about mind over matter. But they never spoke about the fight a person has to put up when they go against the heart. There is just no competition. There is nothing that rules the heart. No force that can bind it in place. The heart will continue to beat for that one person, until it's last breath—until the person it thrives for, tears it apart. But mine wouldn't tear. Not when he keeps doing something to give it reasons to beat harder.

Not when he looks at me the way he was now. His brows low, his eyes dark, gaze focused on me as he stalked towards me.

I didn't look away, didn't let my gaze waver from his. But my heart was beating hard, spreading emotions I didn't want to feel. I felt warmth spread to the tips of my toes, despite the cold rain drenching me.

He stopped, close to me.

Too close.

I wanted to take a step back.

I couldn't.

I wouldn't.

Go closer, my heart whispered.

Get back, my brain warned.

The fight was tearing me apart inside. Dividing me in two. One part craved, the other part hated.

The eye contact was making the situation worse. What was it about looking right into someone's eyes that made you feel so vulnerable? Was it because it felt like they could look right into you? All your dark crevices, all your jealousy, all the parts of you you want to hide, out in display for them to see.

"Are you going to say something or keep staring?" I asked.

"I have not decided yet." He said, crossing his arms and his spreading his legs a little, both occurring in rhythm with each other.

My temper flared. I had nothing to lose, so I let him have it.

"If anybody should be adopting a defensive pose it's me! Drop your damn hands." I snapped.

He smirked, but didn't stop his hands—asshole. He jerked his chin at me.

"You did good work today." He said.

Kila.

Pride bloomed in me, but I ignored it.

I looked away, "I had help." I said, reluctantly, not wanting to give him credit.

Rafe ignored my comment—asshole—and said instead, "Are you going to stop looking at me now?"

"Yes, I'm imagining gauging my eyes out so that I don't have to see you." I said.

In my periphery, I could see his lips lift.

"You're ruining the rain for me." I sounded disgruntled. Dammit.

"Not possible."

I threw him an incredulous look, "Are you really that conceited?"

He was smiling softly at me, and my nails dug into my palms, the pain keeping me grounded.

He looked up at the sky, his eyes closing, his lashes catching droplets of rain.

"I was with you the first time, when you fall in love with it. My presence will only reinforce that feeling, not interfere with it."

He looked back down, a single drop rolled down his nose, dropping into the grass beneath our feet.

"Shut up." I grumbled, annoyed with him. Annoyed with the fact that he was right. My brain had already associated the feelings I have for him with the rain and vice versa...and both the rain and him together...

I sucked in a breath, that I hoped wasn't audible over the pitter patter of the rain.

"Why are you angry with me?" He asked, his arms still crossed, his head tipped down, as he considered me with those dark eyes of his.

I stared at him.

"Are you serious?" I asked him.

He stayed quiet as if that were a response in itself. It annoyed me further.

"Rafe," I said, drawing on every bit of patience I had left, "I practically told you I had feelings for you and you walked out. You left me alone. You treated me like some—"

I held the word in, he probably wouldn't know the meaning of it anyway.

I took a deep breath in and shook my head.

"Forget it." I said and walked around him to leave.

He appeared in front of me and I stopped mid-step, my breath catching and my eyes widening.

"How do you move that fast?" I murmured.

"If forgetting this were an option, I would have taken it and not be standing here right now," he said.

I just looked at him.

"What do you want me to say to that?" I asked at a loss for words, spreading my arms a little.

He stepped closer and I stopped breathing.

"Don't—"

He caught my arm, pulling it towards him, his fingers catching on mine as he spread them open. He rubbed his thumb over the marks that my nails had left on my palm.

I pulled my hand away and he looked at me, he let go of it slowly as if to tell me, I had no actual control over the action and it was his choice. I narrowed my eyes at him as I let my hand drop.

"You hurt yourself," he said.

"It doesn't hurt as bad as what you did to me."

Rafe let out a breath and lightening burst across the sky, sending my already fast heart, galloping. But Rafe didn't flinch, he seemed almost oblivious to it. His eyes burning into mine.

"How do I fix this?" He asked.

"Why do you care?" I asked back.

"I—" he stopped, his jaw hardening.

"What?" I asked, pushing his chest— it didn't move him, but his eyes narrowed at the gesture.

"You what?" I asked again, shoving at him.

He caught my wrist, "Stop." He said.

"Or what?" I asked, tugging at my hands, but he wouldn't let go.

He had my hands trapped behind my back in an instant, effectively immobilising me.

"Tell me how to fix this," he ground out.

"Shackling me definitely isn't the way to go about it." I growled out.

He let out a small breath and dropped his forehead against mine. He started speaking in his language, his eyes closed, the sudden peals of lightening, casting a shadow of his long lashes against his cheeks.

"I don't know what you're saying." I told him.

His eyes remained closed, "That is because these words are not meant for your ears."

"You're pissing me off." I warned.

His eyes opened and they almost sparked at me, but he didn't lean back, "Good. Now you know how I feel."

"How you feel?" I asked, indignant, "How are you possibly feeling pissed at something you did?"

He leaned back, throwing me a challenging look, "Are you telling me you do not hate yourself for being attracted to me even now?"

My jaw dropped.

"I am not attracted to you."

He snorted.

"I'm not!" I said, fighting to release my hands.

He held them easily.

"You are."

"How would you even know?" I grunted out, twisting in his hold trying to get free.

"Because I can smell it."

I stilled then.

He could...what?

Colour rose on my cheeks, unbidden.

"What.." I swallowed, "What can you smell?"

His eyes met mine before looking away, his jaw hardening.

"Your pheromones." He said, his voice low, rough.

I didn't know what to say. I was...stumped.

"You can smell people's pheromones?" I whispered.

He dropped my hands then, running his own through this hair. The rain stopped as if it too was anticipating his answer. The world became quiet except for the drops of rain the fell from the trees.

"No," he admitted, dropping his hands, as if resigned, "Just yours."

I didn't say anything for something, letting the sounds of the world fill the silence between us.

He was looking away, his jaw tight, while I stared at him.

"What do you want from me?" I finally asked.

We were standing too close, so when he turned to look at me with those eyes of his, I felt it down to my bones.

"I want to know how I can fix this," he said, catching hold of my chin with his fingers.

"You can't." I said.

He narrowed his eyes at me, stepping so close that we were breathing the same air and only a whisper of breath separated him from me.

"We both know that is a lie." He said.

I jerked my head out of his hold, rubbing my fingers against my forehead, stepping back a little. Then I looked at him.

"Either stay or go." I said.

Rafe held his hands out as if to say, what does it look like I am doing?

I shook my head, "I mean, make a decision. Don't go back and forth."

Rafe let out a bark of laughter.

"If only making the decision was the problem." He murmured, staring at me almost speculatively.

I stared at him for sometime, seeing if he would say something.

"Why did you traipse around with Jill?" I asked.

He looked right at me and with a stubborn set to his jaw and I realised he wouldn't answer.

I shrugged, "Fine," I said and started walking around him. He stepped to the side, blocking my path, looking frustrated.

"I wanted to..." His jaw clenched and he stopped.

I raised an eyebrow. His anger was palpable. Clearly he wasn't used to having to answer to someone.

I waited patiently, raising my eyebrows slightly, indicating I was still waiting.

He let out a breath, but met my eyes when he said, "I wanted to see if I found other human women as fascinating as you are."

He didn't stop there.

"If it was the mystery and the excitement that encouraged the..." He paused seeming to search for the right word.

I snorted. "Feelings?" I asked very helpfully, since it seemed so hard for him to say it.

He tilted his head as if accepting the word.

I raised an eyebrow, "So what was the verdict?" I asked.

He smirked sardonically, spreading his arms, "I am here, standing before you. What do you think the verdict was?"

I laughed right at his face.

"That you're a downright penis-face." I said sweetly then turned around and stomped away, right into the woods because that was the only place I could go without him in the way to stop me.

He caught up with me easily and I hoped he ran into a tree.

"You asked me to tell you," he pointed out, adjusting his long strides so that he didn't walk faster than me.

I shot him a glare, walking around a tree.

"That doesn't mean I don't have the right to be pissed." I said.

He came and stopped before me.

"I think it is time you made a decision. Either jump into this, or back out." He said.

I threw him an incredulous expression.

"I was ready to jump into this. You were the one—"

"Let me make something very clear," he said and I went quiet. His tone was...dangerous.

"I am not the man who does the right thing all the time. I do what I want. Always. If you think you can handle that, I would still suggest you think again."

I bristled, but didn't say anything for sometime, letting everything he said settle in my head as I tried to digest it at the same time.

"Why would I choose to be with someone who is warning me away? Why would I choose to be with someone who is telling me they are going to be selfish in this relationship? Why would I be with someone who is hurting me at every turn of the road?" I asked him.

He kept looking at me, when I saw a subtle shift in his expression. Something that was mix of smugness and recognition. But it was so subtle, I feel like I imagined it. Maybe I had ...?

He leaned forward, "There is a very simple answer to this, and I can smell it on you."

I hadn't.

My eyes flicked up to meet his. "What do you mean?" I asked him quietly.

"I do not know how I know what this is. But the smell of this," he took a deep breath, his eyes shutting, before he opened them again, and when he did, they were a little more gold than amber with no sight of black in them, "The smell of this... anyone can recognise, no matter who they are."

"Answer my question," I whispered.

He smirked, leaning back. He was winning. When it came to me. This. Us. He was always winning.

"Ask me again." He said.

My brows furrowed, but I asked again, in a whisper—I could manage nothing more, "Why would I choose you?"

He took a deep breath in, his eyes closing. My whole body was pumped with adrenaline and I didn't even know why. Because of fear? Fear that he might know something I wasn't ready to know yet? Or was it excitement? My heart worked double time.

I looked up at him.

Hie eyes were open again and this time they were gold. Pure gold. He looked...

He leaned forward again, "Heady." He murmured, his hand lifting to curl around my chin. I stayed still. I couldn't move even if I wanted to. And I didn't.

Why was he looking at me like that?

He tilted his head towards me, his lips hovering over mine. But they didn't touch.

His golden eyes were as sharp as a razor, cutting through me, leaving me bleeding—willingly—on the floor. Cut open. Dying.

"Ask me again." He demanded.

I did. I had no resistance against him. No walls. No masks. Anything I had, had fallen with the rain. Had fallen with my heart.

"Why would I choose you?" I whispered so softly, I don't know how he heard me.

"Because you are already in love with me." He said.

I squeezed my eyes closed, mixed feelings of euphoria and humiliation spreading through me. He knew.

I wasn't ready for him to know yet. But he did. And he held it up against me like a victory. Like my love for him was my vice and he now held power over me because of it.

I don't know how I knew, but I could tell he was gone with my eyes closed, and for the first time I was grateful he hadn't stayed.

______________________________________

<3 Early Easter Present. Happy Easter!