I don't know how I ended up sitting on the forest ground, resting against a large tree trunk, but that's what I came to when my thoughts were scattered by an insistent tone at my hip.

I blinked, looking down at my communication device. I pulled it out and read the message.

Get inside. It is getting cold.

I blinked. Had it gotten colder? I realised that my suit had warmed up in response to the cooler surroundings. I touched my hands to my face and realised, yes. It was cold.

I leaned my head back against the trunk and closed my eyes for sometime. I took one deep breath, then another.

I heard a beep once again, but I didn't have it in me to move. I was too comfortable. I was too...

I don't know how much later, but I felt hands on my face. Warm hands. And the most beautiful voice.

"Hills?"

I frowned.

"Open your eyes."

I tried. Failed. I was tired. I was too tired.

I heard some mumbling and hands against the side of my neck. Near my pulse.

A few gentle taps against my face and more insistent commands had me struggling once more to open my eyes.

This time, they opened a smidgen, but they seemed stuck together. Somehow, this didn't even send me into panic. All I remembered thinking was, why wasn't I able to open my eyes?

But it didn't bother me. I could feel my heart, beating sluggishly against my ears. I felt warm breath against my cheek and movement. I think I was being lifted. I couldn't tell.

I fell back into a tired sleep.

I woke with a start when hot water scalded over me. My eyelids came unstuck and my throat cleared and I gulped air into myself.

I coughed a little and winced as feeling finally returned to my limbs. Pins and needles spread everywhere on my body as blood slowly rushed back.

I blinked.

When my vision slowly cleared, I met eyes of coal and fire, burning brightly. Wet lashes. Wet hair.

I blinked again and looked around me. I was in a bathroom I recognised from having used once before. This was Rafe's bathroom. I was also being carried by him. And we were standing under the punishing spray of hot water. I shivered.

Then I looked back up at him. His expression was dark as he looked back down at me. I tried to talk, but my throat was still a little thick, so I cleared my throat. But it didn't help. I coughed again.

I moved my feet, wincing slightly at the pain that shot up my leg at the movement. But I kept moving, out of his arms, onto the floor. Blood rushed to my head and I swayed. I caught onto the wall beside me for support as my vision darkened a little before clearing.

"You need to take off your suit." He said.

I looked up at him.

"Then you need to leave," I said, my voice hoarse. I shifted on my feet, grimacing at the pain it caused.

"I am not leaving."

I looked up at him, "I'm not taking off my suit with you in here."

My voice was still rough, scrapping out of my throat. I coughed a little.

He considered me for sometime, before sighing, "I will close my eyes." He said.

"And I should just trust you?" I asked. Talking was not helping. My throat hurt worse.

"It is either I close my eyes or I keep them open, because I am not leaving you in here alone. Not when you are about to fall on your own feet."

I tossed him another glare, "I am fine." My voice broke at that and I coughed again.

"You would have been fine if you had gone in when I had asked you to." He said and this time, I could hear the barely concealed anger in his voice.

Hadn't it been only minutes after he sent that message that he came to get me?

He levelled me a glare when I looked at him and I didn't have it in my to say anything more. My throat hurt. My head hurt. My back hurt. My legs hurt. And I was cold.

I just nodded at him, giving up talking. He closed his eyes and I stayed the way I was for sometime. Watching the water that wet his hair, down to his bare feet. The suit didn't stick to him like wet clothes did, but the parts of him not covered by the suit was soaked.

His broad shoulders and set jaw was all I could see, he blocked the whole world from me.

His eyes snapped open and if I had had it in me I would've jumped in shock, but I didn't have it in me so I just glared.

"You opened your eyes," I rasped accusingly.

"Because I can have ears. And I know you are not undressing. Now undress."

He shut his eyes again.

I made a face at him before slowly, painfully, removing my suit. It dropped to the floor with a muted thump. Rafe held his hand out and my eyes snapped up to his face. His eyes were still closed. I let out a sigh. I picked up the suit and handed it to him, resisting the urge to cover myself.

He took it from me and left the showering cubicle, heading to the space where the compartment to discard used suits opened. When it did, he placed my suit inside and stood there for sometime, with back to me.

My eyes were glued to him, even as I shivered under the shower that warmed every part of me now.

"You won't look right?" I asked in a whisper, because that's all I could manage without hurting my throat.

"I will not. And you need to stop talking."

I bristled before I realised he had said that because he could probably guess that my throat was hurting. I shook my head at myself for being so prickly.

I closed my eyes, leaning my head back, letting the hot water burn away the coldness that had collected deep within me. And not just the ones that were caused by the weather.

When I was done, I shut off the water and squeezed the water out of my hair. I saw Rafe turn and stilled.

He held out a large cloth, his eyes still closed. Letting out another soft breath of relief, I stepped out of the cubicle and walked up to him, taking the soft cloth and wrapping it around me.

His eyes opened and they took in my face. I was, reluctantly, proud of him for not looking anywhere else, even though technically he couldn't see much even if he tried. He kept his gaze locked with mine even as he commanded the door open and jerked his chin out of the door indicating I leave.

I narrowed my eyes at him in rebellion, before stepping out. I took a few steps, before my thighs started shaking from the effort and I sat down quickly on his bed.

My head still hurt, a persistent pounding at my temples that matched the rhythm of my heart beats.

When I heard Rafe exit the bathroom, I saw that he had another cloth in his hand. I watched him warily as he stepped towards me.

He tossed me a dry look, before running the cloth over my hair, after stepping so close to me that my nose practically bumped into his abs. Shock had me looking up at him. But his face was expressionless, as he gently ran the cloth over the wet strands of my hair. He massaged it into my scalp and I closed my eyes, giving into the soothing circles he drew there.

I let out a soft breath and opened my eyes. I put one hand on his arm, stopping him. He stilled and looked down at me. I leaned away and took the cloth from his hand and proceeded to dry my hair on my own. I pulled the whole weight of it forward and rubbed the cloth on the under side, because that part always took the longest to dry.

He stood and watched the whole time, almost as if I were demonstrating the steps of some important task.

I didn't let it bother me. I tried not to.

There was no guarantee it worked.

When my hands shook from the strain, I gave up and plopped back on his bed, too tired to do anything else.

"Your hair is still wet." He said at once.

I was already half asleep.

I heard him let out a small noise of displeasure and then I felt the bed dip. My eyes snapped open in shock and I looked up to see what he was doing.

He scowled at me and took the cloth I still had in my hand away. Then he lifted me and placed me upside down on the bed so that my hair fell over the front that was open. I tilted my head back to see what he was doing—even while marvelling at how he had manoeuvred those moves without dislodging the cloth wrapped around my body.

He knelt behind me, his face hovering right over mine as he ran the cloth over my hair. This time his movements were more sure and I noticed that he was drying my hair the way I had, bottom to top.

My heart threatened to wake the whole world with its beat the entire time.

When his eyes met mine, he stilled.

"What?" He asked.

"Why did you come and get me?" I asked, ignoring the discomfort talking gave me.

"Why would I not?" He asked me.

I paused and he continued drying my hair, his eyes locked on the job he was doing.

"Would you have gone no matter who it was? Stood with them under the shower? Dried their hair?"

He stopped again and looked at me, "Why are you asking me this?"

"Because I want to know."

The rasp was getting harder to ignore. I really did need to rest my voice.

He hesitated and I continued, "Is that not a good enough reason?" I asked.

"I would not have dried their hair." He said finally.

"But you would have stood under the shower?" I asked him.

He threw me a look.

"If it was necessary, yes."

I stayed silent.

"Did you peek?" I asked him, tilting my head a little back to catch his eyes.

He threw me another look.

"I told you I would not look."

I waited. Then asked.

"Did you want to?" I asked.

He looked at me. Then went back to his work, silent.

I kept quiet for sometime too.

"Where's Ryx?" I asked after sometime.

Rafe sighed. "He is unwell."

I got up then, and turned, "But where is he?"

Rage considered me for sometime, before getting to his feet and walking towards the part of the wall where the door to the small room that Ryx usually resided in was.

He commanded it open. Nothing happened for a few seconds. Then slowly, almost painfully, Ryx stepped out. His ears were low on his head and his snout faced the ground. He looked weak, his eyes were dull. He didn't even move much from the door. Just plopped down near it.

My heart squeezed.

"Ryx?" I called and his ears lifted and he looked up. He struggled to his feet and came to me, as fast as he could, looking as tired as I felt. He stopped near the bed, his tail wagging, but very weakly, like he didn't have the energy to do anymore.

I patted the bed, my eyes flitting to Rafe, hoping he was okay with this. He was just watching us, with a serious expression. Ryx let out a small bark and pulled himself onto the bed. He sidled up close to me, his snout resting against my neck, his tail curling around my middle, with his paws on me. I wrapped my own arms around him, his warmth permeating me.

Both of us shuddered at the same time and sighed.

When Rafe walked up to us, my eyes opened and shifted to him.

He went to his hunches near the bed, his arms resting on his thighs. His thigh muscles flexed and so did his biceps.

"Did you know, Ryx is part of a breed that can develop an affective bond with one chosen person? Usually the Master."

I threw him an unsure look, wondering where he was going with this.

"I did not understand his reaction towards Anya the last time she came. He has never been outright hostile to her before, only just ignored her. But it makes sense now." He said, looking at me pointedly.

"Doesn't he already have a bond with you?" I asked, ignoring what he said about Anya, but responding to what he had hinted at.

"It would seem that he has developed another bond." He said, then jerked his head towards us on the bed, "He has been unwell because of you."

My eyes widened. "Excuse me?"

Rafe smirked.

"Well, for one, you have not been visiting him. And two, you," his eyes flicked up to mine, "have been going through some...emotions."

Ryx was feeling all that I was? I thought, ignoring his dig at me not visiting. And my 'emotions'. Caused by him, mind you.

"If you were a guy, I would've married you by now." I promised Ryx, in a whisper. His ears flicked up to hear what I was saying.

Then I looked up, "So you're saying he's not mirroring what you're feeling?" I asked, my eyebrows raising.

Rafe who'd been thinking something else, shifted his gaze back to me, his brows lifting.

"Are you saying, none of what he's feeling right now has anything to do with you?"

"What do you mean?" He asked.

Pressing a kiss to the side of Ryx's snout, I took some time, thinking what I was about to say through.

"Are you saying," I started, saying what I was about to slowly, and carefully, "That he isn't feeling this way because of you? That he didn't run to me just now, because, maybe it's actually what you want to do? That he was unwell all this time because you were too? Maybe not in body, but in mind? So maybe he's mirroring both of us? And that's why it's this bad?"

He kept quiet for sometime, "What makes you think you are right?" He asked.

I swallowed once against the dryness in my throat, "What makes you think I'm not?"

"Stop trying to do this." He said.

My eyes narrowed, "Do what?"

He got up, "Twist things to suit your favour."

I shook my head, then slowly extracted myself from Ryx. He made low whining sounds, and I ran my hand over his head to quiet him.

"I'm heading back to my room and I'm taking Ryx."

Rafe raised an eyebrow.

"I am fascinated you think any of that is going to happen."

I got off the bed and headed towards the place I knew that Rafe had his suits. When it opened, I pulled out a blue night suit.

"Hills, you are not going anywhere." He said.

I turned and made a motion with my hand indicating he turn around.

He narrowed his eyes and stayed right where he was.

"I will walk out in my towel, I swear to God." I told him and if I knew him, I knew that would bother him.

His eyelids fluttered close and I quickly pulled on his suit, not even feeling a little bit guilty about stealing it.

He stole my heart. I was just taking his suit. We were far from even.

When he heard the suit seal itself, he opened his eyes and watched me walk to Ryx.

"Would you like to come with me? I'll take you to my room." I murmured to him, rubbing my fingers behind his ear.

I don't know how he understood what I just said but he got up, seeming more in control of himself. Maybe he understood that since I had dressed up, I was leaving.

"You will not take him and go. Nor will you be leaving."

I headed towards the exit and looked over my shoulder.

"Do you think my butt looks good?" I asked him.

He didn't react at the question, remaining quiet.

"Because you can kiss it." I told him and lead Ryx out, "Besides," I told him, as I turned to face him after stepping out of the door, "He's half mine now."

I waved as the door closed on his narrowed eyes and crossed arms.

I lead Ryx towards the elevator and headed to my room.

When we got to my room, Ryx went about, primly, checking every part of the room. He sat next to my bathroom and looked at me almost expectantly, so I opened it for him and he went inside to investigate. When he came out, he headed to my bed and his head tilted as he saw Kylee fast asleep there.

I walked to him, yawning and slowly settled next to Kylee and tapped the spot near me for Ryx to get on. He did and settled down beside me, burrowing his head under my chin.

And we slept.

__ __

I woke to wet licks on my face. I opened my eyes and I realised that I had my hand wrapped around him and he couldn't move because of it.

I let him go and he stood up, licking my face once more, before getting off the bed. He walked to my door and waited. I got up and stretched, yawning and followed him. I opened the door and headed out with him, still in my night suit. Or Rafe's night suit, depending on how you look at it.

Ryx seemed to know where he was going, heading straight to the elevator. I assumed he needed to go for a walk, so I pressed the button that lead us straight to the main entrance.

When the elevator doors opened again, I saw Rafe waiting near the entrance. I huffed out a breath.

"First thing in the morning," I muttered to myself as Ryx went to his Master, excited. He sat down right in front of him, his tail wagging insistently.

I smiled at his excitement, happy he was back, as I came to stand beside him.

"I will be taking him back with me, he needs to eat." Rafe said.

I shrugged, "Okay," I said.

Ryx moved his head from his Master to me and back.

"I'm still the fun parent anyway." I said.

Rafe snorted and opened the doors to the main entrance.

"Nice hair," he said, his eyes taking in my hair, looking almost amused.

I probably had a nasty case of bed head.

I scowled at him, running my hands through my messy hair consciously.

As I passed him, he caught my arm, bringing his lips close to my ear and murmuring, "I like it."

I let out a sound of annoyance and pulled my arm free from his hold and stepped past the entrance, following Ryx who was smelling everything on the ground, running about, curious.

"As snoopy as his father," I quipped.

"And as stubborn as his mother." Came the response.

I looked at him and he looked at me. I let out a small laugh, rubbing a hand down my face.

It was still a little dark out, but I could see well enough in front of me.

Rafe whistled and Ryx looked at him, before looking away and going about his business.

I ran my fingers through my hair, straightening out as many knots as I could and pulling it over to the side and braiding it.

The rest of the walk went quietly and we parted ways when the elevator stopped at my floor.

It was only during breakfast at the Common Cabin that something very...shocking happened.

It wasn't until the whispering started that I looked around. Everyone at the Common Cabin had gone quiet. Wolf, Freesia, Kylee (who still hasn't announced her pregnancy to anyone and had asked me to keep silent about it till she was ready) and I exchanged confused looks. I noticed that everyone was looking in a particular direction, so I followed their gaze.

They were looking at a door at the other end of the room, that I had never seen open. I pushed through the crowd with my friends in tow and saw that Anya stood next to the door with shock on her face as another dark haired C'Riel I'd seen around her, whispered furiously to her.

Anya just shook her head in response, seeming lost. When I came to stand behind her, I stilled.

Was this...?

"Is that the kitchen?" Kylee asked from behind me.

Wolf let out a slow whistle at what we saw inside.

"Why's everyone so excited about the kitchen?" Kylee asked again.

To which, Wolf replied, "They're excited about what's happening inside it."

And inside it, stood Rafe. He was cooking. He was chopping away at something, when his attention shifted to a vessel on .. What I assume was a stove. It didn't look like a typical stove I had seen because it wasn't lit with fire and neither was it connected to any form of electricity.

He dipped a spoon into it and tasted it, his eyebrows furrowing a little. His eyes flitted up and caught on mine.

How did he find me so fast?

He crooked his finger at me and everyone turned to look at who he was gesturing at.

When Anya whipped her head towards me, she looked back at Rafe as if to confirm he was looking at me. When she did, she drew in a shocked breath. Then she looked back at me, whispering, "Amour, go." her head tilting in his direction, hinting at where she wanted me to go.

I looked at her blankly and felt the gaze of every single person turn to me. Colour seeped into my neck and cheeks, but I stayed where I was.

"Amour, go." She insisted, then leaned closer, "It would be an insult to him if you did not."

I pursed my lips realising it wouldn't just be an insult to him but it would also be something everyone else would look down at him for if I stayed in place and rejected his offer.

I stepped around Anya and her friend, heading towards Rafe, who waited patiently, as if having no doubt that I would come. I schooled my expression, not even letting my eyes narrow. Nor let my excited heart beat control me.

I walked to his side as he twirled something that looked like ...sauce? I looked in another vessel next to this one and my eyes widened and whipped to his.

Was he making—?

My thoughts were cut shot when Rafe held out a spoon of red sauce to me.

"Does this taste right?" He asked.

I leaned forward, blowing a little at the spoon to cool its contents and tasted it. My eyes widened at the burst of flavour that spread in my mouth. Good lord.

I nodded, "Perfect," I said, my voice only a little hoarse from yesterday.

Rafe shot me a brilliant smile that almost blinded, then placed the spoon down and tossed the chopped spices right into the sauce. My eyebrows raised, clearly he was making some modifications to the original recipe.

"How do you know I even like this dish?" I asked him.

He stilled in his stirring and looked at me, seriously.

"Do you?" He asked.

I smiled slowly and nodded, leaning against the counter. He furrowed his eyebrows at me as if displeased that I played him like that and went back to stirring.

"How's Ryx?" I asked, ignoring all the curious whispers I could still hear from the outside.

Rafe just had a small smile on his face, but didn't reply. But I got my answer. Ryx was good.

Rafe then got busy mixing things together and the smell that left the vessels almost had me swooning.

He then arranged everything on a plate in the most professional way ever. Then he held out the plate of steaming spaghetti layered with red sauce and spices. How he had those noodles made so perfectly to match the very Human dish, I didn't know. Except I was very touched.

And I also knew that this meant he was interested in me.

I looked down at the very tempting dish and looked back up at him.

"So," I started, "This means that..."

"I am courting you."

I almost choked at his choice of word, but managed to reign in my reaction.

"While I understand that in terms of C'Riel this is a really big deal," I said, looking him directly in the eyes, "I also need you to understand that in terms of Human, this isn't as big a gesture. So I'm going to need something more to encourage me to accept food from you."

He considered me for sometime, before placing the plate back on the counter and turning back to me. My eyes went to the dish that I knew was going to be the deciding factor to this whole thing.

"What do you want to hear?" He asked me, his voice the kind of quiet I had only heard when he'd told me about the scar his father had given him.

"Tell me something you don't want to tell me," I told him.

He looked at me for sometime and I gave him as much time as he needed, knowing I was making him do something hard.

"If I tell you this, you might not want to take that plate." He told me.

I looked at him, "Tell me anyway." I said.

He looked behind me, then back at me, as if his decision was made.

"I do not want to do this." He said, and when my expression mirrored my confusion, he elaborated, gesturing before him at the counter, "I do not want to be here. Cooking for you."

He looked at me and I waited patiently, ignoring the incessant pain that had started near my heart.

"I do not want to be here. Before you. I do not want to be limited by my...feelings. They make me weak. I do not want them. I do not want to have to explain myself to you. I do not want to watch your every move and make sure you are alright, if you have eaten, slept, laughed or looked for me at least once in a day."

He paused and leaned towards me, his hands cupping my face, his voice low.

"I do not want to do all these things. But I do them anyway." He said.

I looked into his eyes, lifting my hands to hold on to his wrists. I pulled them away from my face and turned.

I lifted the plate off the counter and took the utensil that the C'Riel use for eating, which looked both like a fork and a spoon.

I dipped it into the food, twirled it a few times, blew on it and placed it in my mouth.

Aw, Lord.

"Who taught you how to cook?" I murmured, closing my eyes and humming my approval.

He took my spork from me and I opened my eyes, watching him curl the spaghetti around the utensil and place it in his mouth.

He took food from my plate.

I could almost hear Wolf's voice in my head reminding me the significance of the gesture.

Rafe looked thoughtful as he chewed the food.

"I can see why you favour this." He said finally.

I looked down at the food again, licking the sauce that had smeared on my thumb when I'd twirled the spork in the food.

I looked up at Rafe and stilled, he leaned closer to me.

"I cannot promise that I will not make mistakes," he said, placing the spork back in my plate, "But I can promise that even if those mistakes take me far away from you, my feet will lead me right back to you."

I swallowed, "I think I can handle that." I murmured.

He lifted his hand to rub one thumb against my cheek.

"So what happened this week?" I asked him, "Why were you so..."

Rafe continued to caress my cheek, before reaching out to tuck my hair behind my ear.

"Forget about this week."

"But—"

"I was looking for something, and it took me some time to realise, that I had all this time." He said.

I narrowed my eyes, "That's an awfully simple answer."

Rafe shrugged, "Sometimes the answers to hard questions is a simple."

When I stayed quiet, he continued. "You can trust me with this."

I held up a finger pointing it at him.

"I'm trusting you with this, if you abandon ship in the middle, I will kill you." I warned.

He pressed the side of his index finger to mine and we curled our fingers together.

"I am the Captain of the ship, Amour. If the ship goes down, I go down with it."

I stared at him, impressed.

"How did you even understand that reference?" I asked.

Rafe leaned his head back and laughed.

____________________________________

Hope you liked !

Until next time, y'all.