Was it just a few minutes ago that everything was perfect?

We'd been whispering nothings and everythings in the space between kisses when Rafe closed his eyes and murmured, "I feel you." against my lips.

I'd laughed and said, "Well, that sounds about right because I'm pressed up against you."

Rafe's eyes flashed open and he stared at me. I knew at that second, I'd said something wrong. I don't know what, but whatever it was, I knew it was serious when he got off me.

I sat up, watching Rafe warily as he pulled out the first aid box he'd set aside. I slowly got off the bed and noticed that he'd taken something in his hand. My brows furrowed because I didn't know what it was. He straightened and I looked up at him, my eyes dropping to whatever was curled in his hand.

When his fingers uncurled, my eyes snapped up to meet his.

"What's that?" I asked, just as he lifted the small sharp object and pressed it to his left palm.

When he pressed the object into his hand, I lurched forward, catching hold of his arm and trying to tug it away from the other.

"Rafe, what are you doing?" I snapped, throwing him a worried look, which he returned with a flat one of his own. I was no match for his strength and determination, and he ended up pressing the object deep into his hand.

I cursed when blood welled from his hand, dripping onto the floor. I caught his left hand in both of mine and was about to stem the flow when he ripped his hand from both of mine. Drops of Rafe's blood splattered against the wall behind him at the rough action.

"Do you feel that?" He asked me.

"Rafe what are you talking about?" I asked, stepping forward to get a hold on his bleeding hand again, but he put his good hand out, his forearm pressing against my stomach—stopping me—as he drew his wounded arm further away.

"Do. You. Feel. That." He stressed.

I swallowed, my gaze shifting from his bleeding hand to his eyes. His expression was blank and my heart sank, dread spreading through me. A coldness that had nothing to do with the temperature took root in me.

"I don't know what you're talking about Rafe. Please just give me your hand, this is madness." I said, truthfully.

He caught my chin with the fingers of his good hand and he looked at my eyes. When my eyes slid to look at his still bleeding hand, he tilted his head a little and moved my chin so that I had nowhere to look at but him again.

I don't know what he saw, but it didn't make him happy. His eyes that had been a bright amber all this time, started to develop cracks of black in them. His hand dropped away from me and his eyes shut, his jaw clenched and his good hand fisted at his side. I took the chance to grab the things I needed from the first aid box. I took his wounded hand gingerly, tossing him an unsure glance, but he stood frozen with his eyes shut and jaw clenched.

Cleaning the wound carefully, I spread the ointment that I'd seen Rafe use, that sealed skin in a matter of minutes. I wrapped it up in a light dressing just in case. I placed everything back inside the box and slowly removed one of the sanitary wipes from inside and cleaned my hand, then walked to the wall to dispose of it in the compartment that had opened up. I stood facing the wall for a whole minute, not knowing what to do.

What just happened?

I turned back to Rafe, who stood as I'd left him. With his back to me. Still as death.

I walked around him and came to stand before him. His eyes were open, dark and on me. But he stayed mute. Apprehension filled me the more Rafe stayed silent.

"What's wrong?" I finally whispered.

He let out a sardonic and bitter laugh and rubbed a hand down his face.

"After all this, it only works one way." He said.

I didn't understand what was happening. A muscle ticked near his temple and I didn't know what to do.

"What's only one way?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

He looked at me.

"The bond." he said.

I swallowed, feeling the beginning of guilt raking its sharp claws against me.

"Is it because I'm human?" I asked.

He just looked at me, silently. I wanted to be back in his arms. I wanted to rewind to those past few minutes. I wanted to take back what I'd said. But it was over and done with. Now I needed to know how to move forward from this.

Throwing caution to the air and mentally flipping the bird at the looming threat of rejection, I pressed myself to him.

"Hey," I murmured and he met my eyes, "If anyone should be bothered about it, it's me. I'm the losing out."

When he started to look away again, I caught his face in my palms and forced them back to face me.

"Stop moping, grouch. I want to kiss you and you're ruining my mood." I said.

An almost reluctant smile lifted his lips, "Who is stopping you?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Am I allowed to kiss you whenever I want, Mr. Everything-Happens-On-My-Terms?" I asked with sugary sweetness, tilting my head a little.

His eyes narrowed at that and he leaned in closer, murmuring "You can do whatever, whenever." against my lips and claiming an affectionate open mouthed kiss from me.

"Can't believe you cut your damn hand." I growled at him, freeing my lips for a second as I lifted to my toes to wrap my arms around his neck.

"It is just a surface wound. It will—"

I pressed my lips back to his with a "God, stop talking." When his lips split in an earnest smile against my own, my heart inflated in my chest and something that felt like sunshine spilled into my veins, lighting me up from inside.

He hummed against my lips and I all but resisted the urge to jump and wrap my legs arou—

"Do it." He ordered and without my control my feet lifted off the floor and he caught me easily around the thighs and held me against him. He walked us, seemingly with no effort, to the small desk pushed against the side of the room and placed me on it gently. Sinking both his hands in my hair, he lifted my head, pressing kisses along my jaw.

"How'd you know what I wanted?" I gasped out, "Please don't tell me you can read my mind now."

"Better." He replied, "I can feel it."

What?

It wasn't until Rafe repeated my "Stop talking." sentiment that I realised that I'd said it out loud.

I glared at him through barely open eyes, which he totally didn't catch because his lips were pressed to the sensitive spot behind my ear. I turned my head, closing my teeth over his jaw, nipping.

He'd given me free reign to touch him whenever and I intended to make full use of it. I pressed my hands to his shoulders, watching the little bit of his birthmark that peeked over his shoulder burn crimson when my fingers ran over them. I slid my hands down the hard silk that was his abs, letting my fingers crest over the peaks and valleys.

When I felt skin that was a little raised, I ran my thumb over it, familiarising myself with the only scar he had on his body.

His large body quaked a little in my arms when I ran my hands around and over his back. I leaned closer to catch his earlobe between my teeth.

He let out a breath that brushed against my cheek and I leaned back. The both of us looked at each other. His gaze was more amber now, softer and hooded.

"What do you feel?" I asked.

"Everything." He said.

I locked my legs behind his back, my arms tightening around his neck as I pulled him closer.

"Tell me." I insisted.

He cocked his head to the side as he thought, his hair messy from all my ministrations.

"I can feel the blood rushing in your veins, I can feel the soft beats of your heart. I can feel the weight of your hair. I can feel every breath you take, every breath that leaves you. I can even feel—"

The famous spasm chose that moment to make an appearance.

Rafe and I blinked.

"I can also feel that," he finished dryly.

Colour spilled into my cheeks.

"Why are you so hungry?" He asked me.

This was going to go nowhere good.

"Because...I skipped breakfast." I admitted softly.

His strong brows arched, "And why did you do that?"

"Because...I was pissed at you."

His deadpan expression had me rushing to explain more.

"Well, I wanted to take a walk to clear my head and if I went to breakfast I wouldn't be able to walk. So I chose to take a walk."

I was quiet for sometime, before adding.

"I wasn't exactly having a good day. Or week, for that matter."

Silence. And then, "Only I could have possibly followed that reasoning, Amour."

I smiled up at him.

"You're my ethré, you're supposed to be the only one who can follow that reasoning." I said.

Rafe tossed me a smile that almost had me blinded and jerked two fingers towards himself as he stepped away and started to head to the door, indicating I follow.

And follow, I did. Not before pointing out that he was half naked. But just as I said it, his suit zipped back up all on its own. Then he pointed out that I should probably change too because my suit was torn at my wounded leg.

I sighed and went back in to change into another one of Rafe's suits before following him out.

However, I didn't realise we were headed straight for trouble until we were staring right at it. I'd been too distracted, the fingers of both of my hands locked with the fingers of both of his, as I used it as leverage to lift myself up, stealing soft kisses from him. He let me, his eyes darkly possessive whenever they opened to look at me. His lips were plump, his hair ruffled, his mostly amber gaze lazy as he leaned back against the wall of the elevator and let me lean into him.

When the door opened I stepped into an empty Common Cabin for the second time today. I looked to the side where the wall held the time and realised it was only six. No wonder no one's around.

Even when Rafe started taking me to the Kitchen, I didn't think anything of it, way too besotted with everything that had just happened to be thinking of anything else.

Rafe seemed very aware of my jubilant mood because his eyes kept coming back to me every so often, flickering across my features. Sometimes, he would lean over and kiss me. Those were my favourite.

When the door to the Kitchen opened and my eyes met with bluish white I'd already seen once today, I stilled.

Rafe caught it faster than usual and I realised that his awareness of me had raised a million notches.

The other C'Riel watched me warily, his eyes flickering between the both of us.

Like a deer caught in headlights, I stayed mute.

Rafe rounded on me, blocking me from the other C'Riel's view, "What?" He asked.

I blinked up at him, "What?" I asked him back.

"How do you know him?" Rafe asked, a single brow raised.

"I don't know him." I said.

Rafe leaned forward then and my heart thudded against my chest when he whispered in my ear.

"The thing about being your ethré is, I know when you are lying."

Shit.

He walked straight to the C'Riel and they started speaking in...their language. I watched as Rafe's spine locked and his face went blank.

Ah, crap.

When the C'Riel before him grew agitated and started pointing at me, I knew something not so good was going to happen. Rafe tossed me a quick glance before he spoke to the younger C'Riel who was still there from before. When the younger C'Riel handed Rafe a data pad, I decided to intervene.

I stepped forward, pulling the data pad out of his hand. When Rafe turned to consider me, I threw him a meaningful look.

"Let's just get food and go." I said.

Rafe considered me for some more time, before he murmured something to the younger C'Riel, who all but stumbled over himself to obey whatever orders he'd received.

Then Rafe turned to look at the C'Riel who'd kicked me out of the Kitchen a few hours ago.

"You are relieved of your duties in the Kitchen. Get back in training, and try to remember the rules this time."

The C'Riel took of in an angry rush, tossing me a spiteful glare on his way out. I rubbed my forehead.

"I already don't have fans. You don't need to add to the count." I muttered to my ethré.

Rafe just shook his head and took the plate that the younger C'Riel handed him, turning around to place his hand on the small of my back and ushered me out.

"He did not follow the rules."

"I skipped breakfast. It wasn't his—"

"Anybody who missed a meal and comes back for it, is told to leave as punishment, but food is always served to their room an hour later because we respect anybody who realises their mistake and comes back to fix it. He had not done that."

"How do you know he hadn't done that?" I asked, "I was attacked before anything co—"

Rafe cut me off, throwing me a dark look and he jerked his chin at the C shaped couches, indicating I sit, before saying, "He did not assign the food to be served to you. If he had, it would have been logged in on the data pad."

I stayed quiet for sometime, throwing him narrow-eyed looks.

"Eat." He said handing me the plate filled with rich vegetables dressed with some cream-y cheese like substance that wafted the most amazing smell in the world, into the air.

I rolled my eyes, stabbing my spork into the food.

"You're really annoying." I growled at him.

He leaned back, stretching his arm behind me and tugging me closer.

"You fell in love with me anyway." He said.

I looked at him, stilling.

"Eat." He stressed again.

Rolling my eyes, I ate, then all but sighed at how good the food tasted.

"Those spasms you feel is how normal people feel when they're hungry." He said.

I stopped chewing. Whoa.

"It only feels so bad because you are not used to it." He said, his lips brushing against my temple.

Huh.

As I ate, I thought of something.

"How did my suit turn black, Rafe?" I asked him, because when I'd been attacked, my suit had turned black the second I felt threatened. And I was wearing a normal suit from my closet, not the one that Rafe had given me when his room had been blown to pieces.

Rafe shifted himself closer to me, "When I had the suits cleaned of all the tech I had instilled in them to monitor you, I also had them reinforced with the protective gear."

I threw him a dirty look when he said "monitor you" which he responded to with an unapologetic smirk.

"Why did you put all that tech on me anyway?" I asked, stabbing at my food, grumpily.

"Because I wanted to know how you reacted."

"To what?" I asked, around a mouthful of food.

Rafe's brows furrowed as he lifted the thumb of his free hand to wipe at the spot near my chin. He then placed his thumb in his mouth, sucking off the cheese that he had wiped off, his dark lashes sweeping up to look at me.

Don't swoon. Don't swoon.

"To me." He said, in response.

For a second, I forgot my question.

"Why?" I asked after my brain started working again.

He leaned over, lifting a lettuce like leaf off my plate and tossing it into his mouth.

"Because I wanted to know if your heart beat faster when you were around anyone else, or if it was a reaction solely restricted to when I was with you." He said, nonchalantly.

"My heart did not beat fast around you." I growled out.

He tossed me a sly glance, "I have folders of data to prove you wrong."

Folders? As in plural?

"You absolute shameless stalker. Do you realise how disturbing it is that you did that?" I asked.

Rafe snorted, "I monitored your skin response and heart rate the last time we spoke about my 'stalker tendencies' and let me tell you, your reaction was not of someone who was disturbed by what I do."

"What you did, you mean?" I asked, because what else could I say?

Rafe shook his head.

"What I do." He said, his eyes locking on mine, "What I am doing."

Present continuous?

"You said my suits weren't rigged anymore!" I gasped out loud.

He smirked, his eyes sparkling almost as if he's been waiting to reveal this to me for quite some time now.

"Like I told you, I can feel everything you are. I do not need any external assistance for it anymore. The feedback is automatic now." he said, tapping his temple, before reaching over to steal more of my food.

I stared, gobsmacked.

"You want to know something?" He asked.

No. Yes. No. Yes.

His smile when it came, could rival the Devil's. I almost had to stop myself from swaying towards him.

"Your heart rate and blood pressure spike every time you realise just how close a watch I keep on you."

"Yeah, because I'm pissed off." I have the sense to say.

He ignores me, leaning closer and whispering, "You are just as twisted as I am, Hills."

I swallowed.

"I'm not." I argued weakly, my eyes dropping to his lips.

"Oh, but you are." He said, "What about the fact that I know all your dark secrets turns you on, Amour?" He asked me.

My eyes widened at his choice of words, which I am sure, was very deliberate.

"I don't.." My eyes flickered to meet his, "I don't have any dark secrets."

Rafe gave me an indulgent smile, "Of course you do," he said. I didn't even realise that he'd taken the plate from my hand to place it aside until the fingers of my hand curled into the suit at his arms.

"Oh, yeah. What is it then?" I whispered, licking my suddenly dry lips.

"Me." He said and when I would've reared back to look at him, his hands locked on my back and my nape, immobilising me.

"Wha.." I stopped talking when his lips touched mine.

"I am your darkest secret, Amour." He said.

My eyes flashed up to meet his.

"Your darkest desire that you hold closest to yourself is your love for me. The love you have for an alien. The perfect human girl who fell for the wolf on the other side of the fence and scaled it to be with him."

I squirmed in his arms, trying to move closer or away, I didn't know. But a feeling of vulnerability slipped into me and I felt naked.

"It's not a dark desire," I defended.

He hummed against my lips. At this point both our eyes were closed, our lips brushing. Our hearts racing.

"No, you are right. Even though it is dark at its core, it gives off the most purest light. Just perfect for my dark twisted heart to devour."

I let out a soft moan and it was enough for us to press together. And this kiss was nothing like its predecessors. It was untamed and animalistic, a baring of souls. It was sex of the souls, more raw than the actual physical act. More intimate with greater possibilities of ending up with scars. But Rafe was right. Pain, betrayal, love, hatred, whatever it was, as long as it came from him, I would take it all. I would let it wound me, scar me if he was there the whole time.

And the thought scared me as much as it exhilarated me.

We didn't pull back to catch air, but I had climbed onto his lap, straddling him as our lips tore into each other's, our teeth knocking, our skins bruising from how tight we held one another. But we didn't care for finesse. We didn't care for gentleness right now. We only cared for this connection that grew and threatened to drown us. We revelled in the threat, willingly holding our breaths as the tides washed over us and pulled us in, crushing us and filling our lungs. But still we didn't stop.

The next words he said washed over me like a dark but hot blanket on a cold night. Suffocating me and keeping me safe at the same time.

"I will devour you, Amour. I will turn you inside out, until you can look nowhere inside yourself without feeling the mark of my need."

I was in over my head with him, but I didn't want it any other way.

"Like I've already done to you?" I whispered out fiercely.

His hands cupped my cheeks, "You had me the second you locked those beautiful eyes with me on the spaceship. You were wild and passionate and I wanted to cage you until you thought I was your home."

"You are my home." I admitted, my voice stripped of everything but guilty, dark and raw emotion. Despite everything everyone had warned me about, my dad, my friends...my brain, he was what I wanted.

"I will never let you go. Are you sure you are ready for this?" He growled out.

Our eyes were still closed, our lips still fighting. I don't know how we spoke, or how we understood one another but we did.

"Even if I was not, there's no where else I want to go. No one else I'd rather be with."

We fed our addiction for one another, the frustration and need and desire for him I'd been feeling all this time pouring into my voice, my kisses and my greedy fingers that pulled at the strands of his hair. The only thing that was soft about him.

I realised he was doing the same, his own fingers locked around my throat, not tight enough to hurt, but enough for me to know how much control he had over me.

Suddenly he broke away, his brows furrowing. I ran my index finger over his brow, trying to smoothen the frown away.

"What?" I asked.

He looked at me and said after a few seconds, "My team was able to find a recording from during your attack. There is something they want me to see."

It was only then that I noticed he had a Com hooked over his ear.

I licked my lips, unsure.

"Are you sure you want to see that Rafe?" I asked, knowing that it wouldn't be an easy video for him to watch.

His eyes flashed, "If it means we are closer to an answer, then yes."

I nodded slowly and we watched each other, and I realised how much I had given away to him. Insecurities and doubts started to spread through me.

Was this kind of relationship normal? Healthy?

This craving I had for him...was it alright to feel this way about somebody? To think that you wanted to lose yourself in them? To be alright with them taking over your every thought? To want them to crave you? More than they craved their next breath.

Rafe's gaze softened and I realised he was privy to my inner turmoil, "When it comes to ethrés, no relationship is right or wrong. It just is. And however it is, it is always perfect." Then his eyes turned harder when he said this, "And no one has a right to give an opinion, nor does their opinion matter."

I got off him slowly and stood, taking the plate in my hand. He stood up and caught my chin in his thumb and index. He searched my eyes.

"Are you alright?" He asked me.

I nodded slowly.

"It's just...new to me. I've never seen relationships like this...it doesn't work this way on Earth. On Earth relationships where each person is a whole by themselves and shares this wholeness with their partner is cherished."

Rafe's eyes narrowed before he tilted his head.

"And?" He asked.

I shrugged, "We don't fall under that category, exactly." I said.

Thinking I would've angered him by saying that, I was surprised by the contemplative expression on his face.

"Wholeness is a word left to subjective interpretation." He said, "I do not think people are puzzle pieces that fit together. Rather, I feel they are reflections on a mirror and they search for the person with the mirror that shows them the reflection of themselves as they really are and not just the roles they play in life. Not just a mother or a father or a brother or a friend. But all of that. All their mistakes, all their values. The dark and the light. All of these complexities as one."

I watched him in wonder as he continued.

"I saw you see me. And in your vision of me, I found myself. The myself I have been looking for. And by finding me in you, I found you too."

I let out a breath.

"I may not have understood all of that, but I liked that part about you finding me." I said.

Rafe's smile was slow to come, but when it did it was a beam that had my heart bursting through my skin.

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All 'em smileys! <3 Also, to whomever the whole mirror-reflection part sounded like some sudoku puzzle with Einstein level of hardness, you're welcome to the club. Rafe's not one to be understood that easily.

Until next time, unicorns!