I woke up to loneliness.

I felt no better than I had the previous night. Or was it early this morning? I couldn't even tell. I didn't even know. I looked up at the way and sighed. Today was our day off. We didn't need to work until late evening and I was assigned Kitchen duty today. Menial jobs would be required of me.

They would be my salvation. I wouldn't have to think. I could stop letting words flow into my head and let the work rule my muscles, the pain take over the agony. I almost, pitifully, looked forward to it.

I closed my eyes, letting out a breath and lifted myself off my bed and headed to the bathroom. I washed my hair in record time and was out before my supposed-to-be allotted time of ten minutes were up. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't take advantage of the fact that I had unlimited access to water. It felt like I would demean what I had with Rafe if I took up the chance to use it.

A slice of pain shot through me at the thought of his name. I rubbed my chest, absently and pulled on the first suit that my hand touched. My thoughts raced to everything that had happened last night, or was it this morning?

I walked out of the room, heading to the elevator and stepping aside to make room for a few other girls, who lived on the same floor as me, got in after me. I didn't know why they were laughing or what they were speaking under their voices about. I just watched as their bright eyes and wide smiles lit up their faces and made them truly beautiful. I looked away.

I had seen my own face this morning on the reflecting surface on the wall.

I looked nothing like these women before me. And I'm not talking about something as simple as looks. I'm not talking about their shining manes and perfect shapes and poised statures.

I'm talking about that very essential thing. Life. I looked pale, my eyes were dull and my hair looked darker than usual, almost everything that made up its character was lost in a matter of minutes. And to top it off, a headache was still pounding at my temples and while a part of me appreciated their laughter and happiness, another hurting part of me wished they wouldn't be so loud. Every whisper of theirs was causing a knife drive its way through my skull.

I exited the lift while massaging my temples and knocked right into someone. I snapped my eyes open, not realizing I'd closed them and muttered a small apology to the human guy standing before me with a curious expression on his face.

He shrugged and walked away.

Between the pounding in my head and the buzzing in my ear, an unfamiliar voice filtered through.

"...you think he's drinking her blood or something? She looks so-"

"Drained?" someone else finished and I heard snickers spread between the two people.

My eyes snapped open and I looked around wondering who I'd just overheard. But to my utter surprise, there wasn't anyone who was close enough to me that I could hear them talk. Much less whisper. Confused, I looked around some more, before warily stepping towards the large counter of food.

But when I took the food and walked to one of the couches, a funny buzzing in my ear started up. I stilled, placing my food aside and rubbing at my ears. When it grew louder, I started to panic.

And it only grew worse. And this time, I heard snippets of conversations in between the loud noise in my ears.

"..he didn't seem to be-"

"..with her?"

"Do you really think-?"

"..about that. The gu-"

It all then merged into one large mountain of noise that shot right into my ears like a piercing arrow, shooting pain straight up my brain, pairing it with my headache and causing tears to leak from my eyes.

I bolted, pushing past people and pressed my bracelet to the closest Identity Screen, praying and hoping for some solace. Some silence. When the door opened, I stumbled inside, my hands pressed over my ears. I fell to my knees in relief when the door shut behind me and the buzzing ceased to exist.

I let out a breath, letting my hands drop before me onto my knees that were folded beneath me. Sweat poured down my face even as my suit started adjusting to my core temperature. I opened my eyes and when my hazy vision cleared, I noticed something on my hands.

I gasped as I rubbed at my hands on my suit. But when they only stained my suit further, I flicked my wrists, trying to get rid of the red copper smelling liquid off them.

When I saw drops of the red fluid, that weren't from the my hands, drop onto the floor, my eyes widened. I lifted my hands to my face, running them along the sides of my face. I looked at my hands then.

I was bleeding. From my ears.

I realized that I wasn't breathing enough, I could feel myself seize for air.

Something numb took over me and I leaned my hand on the floor as blood dripped onto it from my ears that I realized were now ringing. My vision blurred, a sensation similar to a brain freeze that was painful more than anything causing my whole body to sway.

Four seconds later, I felt something shift around me and I saw something blue. I realized it was me. I had moved. Not voluntarily. I was on the floor now. I had fallen. And before me was something blue.

My vision cleared, darkened, blurred and cleared again. Before becoming a haze once more.

I heard the struggle of each breath that I fought to pull into my lungs. I could feel pain squeeze my lungs together.

But I could only see the blue in front of me.

A disembodied voice filled my head.

It's the pool, it said. It's the pool.

A feeling akin to sadness overtook me. I couldn't see the water properly. If these were my last seconds, I wanted to see the water one last time.

When the door burst open, light pierced my eyes and the buzzing started once more. With energy I didn't know I still had, a pained cry left my lips and I slammed my hands back over my ears, even as my fingers slipped with blood. My eyes shut automatically too.

When someone lifted me off the floor, I pressed my hands further into my ears.

"St-" I couldn't speak, because I couldn't pull air into my lungs. Stop talking.

I couldn't hear what they were saying over my screaming ears. But what I could hear sounded like voices that were so loud they hurt my brain.

I felt a pain shoot up my arm and liquid warmth spread through my limbs and the buzzing in my ears stopped. Completely. I lost control of my limbs and they fell. But somehow, I could open my eyes.

When I did, I met the grey eyes of Wolf and the much darker eyes of Freesia.

I blinked, but the action was slow, languid. I saw Wolf look up, seeming to be yelling something. I couldn't hear him. I felt like everything went through layers of viscous liquid that dulled it to silence before it could reach me. I blinked again, air burned through my lungs and I gratefully cherished each breath.

I was feeling sleepy.

I slowly let go, slipping into a darkness that I gratefully embraced.

--

--

I woke to a sleeping Wolf and Freesia. And a clean, pristine looking Health Care Centre.

How long had I slept?

Rafe wasn't there. Just like he wasn't there when I fell apart, bleeding and broken to the floor.

I got up, pulling out the wires that were connected to me and walking out, promising myself that I would be back before my friends woke up.

No one stopped me. And I didn't stop to think why.

When I stopped at the elevator, I heard footsteps behind me. As I got into the elevator, they joined me, rubbing their eyes and yawning. When I got off at the Common Cabin, they followed silently. I walked to the room with the pool.

My last thought had been that I wanted to see the water. Now that I could, I would. I walked straight into the room after running my bracelet over it and approached the shimmering blue pool and sat at the edge, looking silently into it. Both my friends sat on either side of me, crossing their feet.

I didn't say anything and neither did they. They looked lost in their own thoughts, until I cautiously dipped my legs into the water.

Then, I smiled.

I swung my feet to and fro, letting the water tickle my toes and caress my foot. My suit stayed in place, which surprised me because somehow I was expecting it to retreat at the touch of water. Which was stupid because I had been out in the rain many times.

"Do you want to talk about?" Freesia asked.

My smile died. I pulled my feet back up to my chest, locking my arms around it and resting my chin on my raised knees. As soon as I did this, both my friends locked their arms around me, whispering that they were there for me, no matter what. That they loved me.

In the safety of their arms and cocoon of their love, I cried. Sobbing out my misery, confusion, fear, desperation and hopelessness. And it wasn't long before I told them everything. I hid nothing. Me getting attacked, Kylee's pregnancy, the surrendering, Ace getting arrested, me meeting Ace, everything Ace told me. Everything that happened between me and Rafe. My fear that even though I was his ethrés, I was no closer to him than I was before. My feelings of inadequacy. My fear that something bad was going to happen. My fears of abandonment. My fears about Rafe. Rafe. Rafe. Rafe.

At the end of the whole thing, Wolf and Freesia were mirroring my pose. Both had their legs pressed to their chests and empty expressions on their face-most likely from all the shock.

"She's pregnant?" Wolf asked.

"And he surrendered to you?" Freesia asked at the heels of Wolf's question.

I just nodded, quietly.

"I think I know what to do." Wolf said and both Freesia and I looked at him, expectantly.

He slid right into the water, letting himself sink deep to the floor of the pool. I gasped, but watched, entranced as he swam back to the surface.

He pushed the strands of his hair back from his face and grinned up at us, "Things are always quieter in the water." he said.

Freesia jumped right in.

I stayed.

They looked at me expectantly, bright smiles on their face. I looked from one friend to the other and shook my head sadly, "I don't know to swim. And with how deep this is, I will seriously drown."

Both my friends looked disappointed. Wolf perked up, "I could teach you."

I shook my head before he could even finish his sentence, "Maybe some other day." I said, smiling sadly at him.

In truth, I was terrified. There was no way I would be doing that, not without being absolutely sure about myself...and the person who was teaching me.

My poor friends trudged back out of the pool and I got up, laughing when they splashed water from their hands onto each other, then squealing and jumping out of the way when they did the same to me.

We headed out of the room with smiles on our faces but just before we could get to the door, it opened. Revealing Rafe. His eyes were on me as soon as the door opened. He didn't even have to search, it almost seemed as if his eyes were trained on the spot I was standing in even before the door opened. Which was...impossible.

He had to turn to his side a little so that his broad shoulders could fit into the door. My eyes were locked on his dark ones, as he started towards me, the light behind him creating a halo around him. My breath hitched as something sparked and spread within me...almost like when I'd lost consciousness some time ago. As a result of it, everything I had just hid from crashed into me in an avalanche of emotion. An opposite effect of what happened this morning.

I didn't know what happened, but suddenly I heard Wolf's voice.

"You're really hurting her, man."

Rafe's posture relaxed as he leaned back a little and crossed his arms before him, his eyes perusing me.

Then, he outright ignored Wolf and asked me, jerking his chin to the pool behind me, "Swim?"

I cleared my throat, then tossed Wolf a warning glance, before looking behind me at the very inviting looking pool. I shook my head as I looked back at him.

"I can't swim." I admitted.

He leaned forward then, placing his lips near my ear and whispered, "I know."

Then he took my hand and led me to the pool, I looked back at Wolf and Freesia and gave them a nod to let them know that I was okay. With a reluctant look, they both left us alone.

That's when I turned.

To face my biggest weakness and greatest fear. And the love of my life.

He tugged me further, but I held firm. "I don't think I'm ready for it today." I said, letting my eyes linger on him to see if he knew what I was saying, seeing if he would ask me what I meant. Did he even know what had happened today?

He looked at me for sometime, then a smile slowly spread his face, and I watched as his damn suit melted into itself from his neck to his waist, so that he was half-dressed again. Then he walked backward and just as I was about to call out that he was a single step away from falling into the pool, he turned and smoothly dove into the water. My breath caught as his body sluiced into the water smoothly; so smoothly that it looked as if the water itself had parted for him, not a single wave forming at the movement. It was against all that I'd known to believe. His skin almost glowed in the water, his marks changing colour randomly.

I sat down, letting my feet drop softly into the water, but even then little ripples formed around me. I looked up, leaning forward a little as my eyes were drawn back to him as he practically glided to me, lifting out of the water exactly between my thighs. The movement was so smooth and quick that I didn't even rear back in surprise. He pushed his hair back with both his hands before dropping them on either side of me. I was only slightly taller than him in this position, but the effect on me was no less devastating. I watched as droplets of water slid down his forehead..nose...throat and down his chest..before disappearing into the water. I looked back up at him, his dark hair-seeming somehow darker-was slicked back, throwing his forehead and skin in bright contrast. His eyes, now lighter, seemed to almost lock me in their spell.

"You are very quiet today." He said, softly. His eyes swept over me again, before coming back to my eyes.

"Am I?" I asked, my tone matching the quietness of his.

I didn't catch the wickedness of his smile, until his hands were already caressing my thighs. My head snapped up to look up at him with a warning glare, but it was too late. He lifted me and pulled me right into the water against him. My fingers latched onto his shoulders, even though his arms were locked firmly around me. My breath came out in gasps and I looked up at him, accusingly. I ignored his smile because it was doing something to me and just looked away. Because there was only one other place to look, I watched, riveted, as the water lapped at our hips. Knowing that he wouldn't let me go, I dropped one hand to the water, the other sliding around his back to hold myself closer. He let me, pulling me closer. I ran my palm over the water for a few moments, before I realised my feet were completely in the water, pressed against his.

I wiggled my toes, smiling despite myself when I moved my legs and they moved almost sluggishly in the water.

"So, did Ace find his accommodations comfortable?"

My head snapped up and my smile dropped.

I slowly let go of him, my hands searching for the wall behind me. But he didn't let me go, instead he let my search lead him closer to the wall and when we reached it, he pressed me to it. Then, he let me go, placing both his hands on the edges on either side of my head. I had to hold onto him then, I locked the fingers of one hand around his forearm, my cheek brushing his arm when as I tried to find my balance in the water-a feat I decided was near to impossible.

He stared into my eyes and I looked back into his.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked.

"Ask me." He said.

My heart thudded against my chest and a pounding started almost suddenly in my forehead. The intensity of it had me wincing. I watched as at the same time, a vein started pulsing near Rafe's forehead.

"Ask you what?" I said, biding for time.

Almost immediately I heard a rushing sound in my ears.

Oh, God. Not again.

My ears pounded as well and when Rafe spoke it sounded drawn out and rough, barely intelligible. My vision got blurry as well. I let out a yelp, shutting my eyes, holding on tighter to the only anchor I had-Rafe.

I felt hands on my cheek and forced my eyes open. Tears blocked my vision, but when they spilt, I saw the concern and fear that spread across his eyes, his tattoos flashing chaotically, making the water change colour when ever it got caught in the reflection.

When I met his eyes, something happened inside me. I realised something. He was here. This time around, he was here. Through the chaos, I found some rationale. And as soon as that happened, I heard something. And I swear it sounded like a snap. I had lost my mind. That was my only conclusion for what happened next. I felt like something...something that tasted like my favourite ice cream in the world. I felt like I was being taken over by sensations that weren't mine. It felt like all the threads of two dresses were coming apart to seamlessly meld into one. Twining into one another, twisting, tugging, fighting to pull closer. It hurt, but then at the same time it didn't. I felt like my skin was ripping in two, taking in the essence that was him, into itself and binding it together. I snapped my eyes open at the sensation and watched as for a single second, Rafe's eyes turned green and I felt a prickling sensation in my own and I knew that my own had turned gold. The second that happened, it felt like my mind had flown apart into pieces so that I no longer remembered who I was anymore. A scream ripped out of my throat when my consciousness collided with another's. Another mind that was much more powerful that my own. When it touched mine, it tore it apart further, until I didn't exist and slowly, piece by piece, it fixed itself to me. I could feel the mind that was so different from mine, sinking itself deep into every cell that made up what I was. The pain was excruciating, but somehow I didn't feel it even as I experienced it. It made no sense to me and all I could do was watch as all of me was now his. He had sunk into my soul, torn it apart for his taking and devoured it whole. He could know every dark secret of mine, every cherished memory, every worry, pain...

When it ended, it ended with a painful wrench, where all the parts that had melded together-his, mine, ours-forced itself back into me. Demanding space, taking it. And staking claim.

I wasn't just Amour anymore.

There was no just me.

There was him. In every pore, ingrained so deep, I couldn't take a breath without him knowing about it. Then, I felt the most beautiful thing, as something I hadn't yet understood was shown to me by..the mind that wasn't entirely mine. I don't know how I understood, but I felt within myself, like I was instructed to by the mind. And I realised...I could feel him.

My eyes snapped open and I watched with eyes I had never possessed before. The man who stood before me took me in with wide eyes. I looked around me, my head tilting as everything took on a tint. A lighter tint. I looked at the water, marvelling at the tendrils of light, that I had never seen before, sped everywhere in the water. It almost looked like electricity. A live wire stuck in the water. But my eyes were drawn back to this man before me. He was simply beautiful. My eyes traced his features, severely, painfully attracted to him.

I tasted my lips and tasted him.

I liked that.

Almost naturally, I tugged on his consciousness and his eyes narrowed. He tugged back. Thrilled, I dove into his mind, stretching myself languidly inside him. He let me, content with letting me explore. It was curious that my brain could perceive everything I was seeing around me and I could feel what was happening within me. I felt light, I felt dark. His mind was complex. I liked it. I caressed him, without touching him and looked at him, watching his lips quirk. Suddenly, I wasn't in control anymore. I was pressed to him and he had enveloped my mind, running his fingers over it, spreading his feelings into me. I returned the gesture, letting everything I had ever felt slip out of me and into him. He spoke beautiful words that I couldn't understand, but my mind liked it and both of us practically lunged at each other.

We locked lips, our minds playing a similar game as we fought and caressed at the same time. He grinned almost savagely against my lips when my mind pushed too hard against his-not that it moved him a bit. His hands were pulling me flush against him, while I had the fingers of one hand curled in his hair and somehow, the fingers of my other hand went to his back and I slid my index and middle finger along one of his marks. I hadn't felt the difference before, but now I could feel the static rise along my fingers as they trailed over his skin.

Then, my eyes closed and slipped away.

When I struggled to open my eyes one last time, I saw the man push his away through the water towards me. He glowed as the luminosity of the water threw colours on his skin. And then, suddenly, everything looked darker. Almost like I had thrown a dark cloth over my eyes. The colours in the water disappeared and I could barely see through the haze of the water and the burning in my eyes. And I finally recognised the man before me.

Rafe.

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*wipes sweat away* That was hard, if I didn't think I had it in me. <3 Good thing, I love you'll...(it's my secret weapon).

Until next time, *salutes*.