Valeriana had insisted on leaving immediately, but the rush of energy she had felt during the time she made that demand was long since gone. Having gotten no sleep at all since they left the academy, Valeriana felt physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.

Even so, it was a good thing Corvan sent her to a certain room to enable to her freshen up. She was more than glad to take temporary residence in such an exquisite princess bedchamber.

The bed was so comfortable she didn't know how many times it bounced when she jumped on it. No one was watching that time so she did whatever she wanted, having closed the door behind her to be able to relax.

Her back hit the soft cushion, her hair forming a halo around her head.

She pulled off the gloves she was wearing, feeling the air with her palms after such a long while. Still, the mark was there, staring back at her like it always did. She traced the smooth lines running through the flesh, biting her lip when the sensation she should've felt was either numbing or totally gone.

"I can't feel . . . anything." She pressed on it, massaged it, even flicked it so many times with her fingers, and yet, her brain registered nothing. "Damn."

She sat up on the edge of the bed, feeling the fear rising up to her throat at the thought. She never really bothered with it, afraid of being reminded of the truth and consequences of the ability she recently gained. Before realizing what this thing really was, she never really knew the true gravity of her situation. Of course, Cifaro had given her a warning about her life possibly being at risk, but she took it lightly . . .

Now, she realized how truly naive she was.

"Gods, why me?" She muttered problematically, burying her face into her hands. "Why me?"

Why me? The question resounded infinitely.

She thought back on the time she had bravely declared it would be futile to keep this thing of hers hidden and all to herself, believing she was given this in order be able to help somebody. Was it bad to be rethinking all of that now?

She slumped against the pillows, the gloves discarded by her sides. It would be a great understatement to say she was frustrated, tired, confused, irritated, and the list went on. Valeriana wanted the answers immediately. No matter how many times they told her to wait, she could not help but still try to seek them out.

She felt her eyes close, a wet trail marking the path past the bridge of her nose and into the other side of her face.

It was hard being a Direct Controller. Emmillyse, was no doubt, in trouble herself.

-*-

After having the necessary preparations done, Corvan went to fetch Valeriana from the room he made her stay in. It was a little over two hours since they parted and it was already time to depart. He tried to play things politely, knocking on her door and calling out her name to alert her. Yet, despite how many times his knuckles hit the surface, the girl had yet to answer.

His skin was becoming a little bit red at the continuous pounding, until his patience wore thin and he pulled on the knobs, finding them unlocked.

The curtains were drawn open, the sunlight hitting the walls and floors of the bedroom and encasing the girl who laid asleep on top of the bed in a soft glow, her boots on the floor a feet apart from each other.

Valeriana looked beyond worn and exhausted. Her brows were wrinkled and the corners of her lips were turned down. Corvan felt almost guilty for the way she looked and wondered if it was because of him, or the pressure which had been weighing down on her for the past weeks.

Maybe a little of both.

The girl seemed to be going through a lot the past few days. There was something more than what she was letting on, and the first-ranker felt that this had something to do with her recent discoveries.

Seeking out the truth might be more of a daunting and hurtful task than a pleasurable one as it brought more bitterness than sweetness. Nothing was ever pleasurable in being a Valemnian, or being a lord, or perhaps being alive. Should he say that in front of her face, she would've debunked him with all she got despite of the kind of storm she was facing--telling him he should not be too much of a pessimist and see that there really was something about life that was worth living for.

Then what was it? He could not fathom where she got her wisdom, the strength, the naivety, and that stubborness.

It almost hurt him to look at her fending for herself, crawling through the halls of the academy, or perhaps diving forward for that fallen sword. She had her chin lifted up with every slap life had thrown her way, not to mention she was up on her feet after every kick that sent her tumbling.

What was she made of?

"Valeriana . . ." He found himself whispering, reaching out to shake her from the sleep she had sunk in.

The ponytail she wore was loose, resting on her neck as she slept on her side. She stirred for a moment, her eyes shifting behind her lids and her lips parting to release a subtle huff of air with a small twitch of her fingers and a mild movement of her head.

"Valeriana, wake up." He said, a little louder this time, mildly feeling bad to have her rise like this.

Still, he did not get any sleep himself.

"Mmn." She moved away from Corvan's obtrusive hands. "Go away."

He found himself chuckling, until his eyes traced the pair of discarded gloves and her loosely curled fingers scraping the palms of her hand. One was beside her head, the other on her stomach.

He stopped still. There was this strange thing in her hand. What was she holding? Perhaps not, she wasn't holding anything.

"Valeriana?" Bending by the waist, he spread her fingers to examine the dark mark that was branded to her right palm. The ominous color did not bode him well as he knew the several meanings it could impose.

She was tainted? But that couldn't be. She had no strange discoloration in the eyes or hair, meaning she was not transforming. Why then, was it specifically the palm?

The gloves, even so. How long had she been like this? She couldn't have possibly worn them for the sole purpose of keeping her ability under control, was it? Could it have also been because of this?

"Valeriana." His voice had a bit more urgency in it now and he shook her a bit more violently. "Awake now, godsdammit."

Her azure blue eyes fluttered open, scanning the window on the other side of the room before sliding to meet his. She grew irritated for a second, slapping his hand while rubbing her eyes and yawning loudly.

"Did you have to do that while waking somebody up? I was tired you know." She wearily rose from the bed, glaring at him through her lashes.

"I thought you didn't need any rest." He retorted.

"Well, I'm only human." She rolled her eyes at him.

"I thought we had it established you weren't." He started. "Perhaps, half."

"Stop kidding around." She seethed at him, blindly moving around and throwing her feet over the bed. At her movements, she accidentally threw off a glove of hers on the floor.

As she eyed it, a nervous jump was made by her heart as she realized she wasn't wearing it when Corvan came in. Her eyes as wide as saucers, she looked at the young lord as he moved to pick it up, throwing it to her lap with the gravest look on his face. He made no move to comment on it, but as she hesitantly stretched it over her hands, her heart was continuously thundering inside her ribcage she could hear the blood pulsing through her veins and pounding by her ear.

He probably saw it!

"When were you planning on telling us?" He finally asked. "Or were you never planning on it?"

Yes, he did see it.

She bit down on her lip.

"I don't know."

Corvan grinded his teeth together. "What is going on? Are you affected by the infection?"

"This is a different case." Valeriana said. "You can't blame me for hiding it from everybody because even I don't know how this whole thing happened. What the heck am I supposed to say? I don't even have an explanation for this myself. Besides . . . I didn't want to make such a big deal out of it."

"Since when has this started?"

"Preluresia. When Tod died."

Corvan was silent. "And you never bothered telling this to anybody?"

"Rowe knows. Lady Seraphina . . ."

The lord sighed before he shook his head. "Stand up and let's go."

Valeriana started to tear up, her nose going red and her breathing labored. "I'm sorry for not telling you. It was a stupid move, I know. You guys helped me so much and this is how I act. But I don't really know what to do. So stop being angry . . . I know you're mad."

Corvan's eyes widened at the sight of her tears. "Do not cry . . . Arland! Since when has it been a concern of yours when I am mad? Hasn't it always been your goal to infuriate me?"

She wiped off her snot and sniffed. "Well, not that kind of mad like mad mad. I just liked seeing you huff through your nose and stomp your feet like an unhappy child."

"Whatever do you mean . . ."

"I won't say anything else to excuse myself." She muttered. "I mean. It's pretty useless at this point and what's done is done."

"No. I was in the wrong." Corvan shook his head. "I should've not blamed you. Your privacy is your right and whatever you disclose to us is your choice." He said. "There are secrets that cannot be told to others no matter how trusted they are. The Celestial Twelve isn't perfect. They all keep a side to them hidden. I know this very well."

"I'm sorry. Aren't you . . ."

"Do not bother apologizing. I'm used to your acts of stupidity. There's no use scolding you for it." Corvan turned to meet her eyes. "I respect your decision to keep it to yourself. I may be what you call a jerk but I have no desire to invade your personal space."

Silence.

Corvan stood directly in front of the girl and stared down at her crying form. "For the sake of the gods, stop sniveling."

"I just . . . when I start crying, I can't stop. I don't know why I'm like this, okay? So just . . . just let me cry." Her voiced had turned nasalized and she was blowing her nose into a handkerchief.

The handkerchief was actually special. Corvan had given it to her and let her keep it back in Preluresia when she broke down. Seemed as though she needed it a lot.

"Damn, I cry a lot." She grunted.

"Good thing you are aware." He stared at her for a few moments and placed a hand on top of her head, patting her awkwardly.

He just patted her head as though she was a child.

Valeriana shot him a curious look. "What are you doing?"

"I know not what to do when it comes to comforting." He said.

"You actually want to comfort me?" She snorted, a smile twitching.

Corvan felt irritated. "Do not taunt me. I am showing you kindness."

"So I have to be thankful about it?" She retorted.

"Why did I even--"

"No." Valeriana started laughing, wiping away her tears. "If you're going to comfort, at least hug that person. You did it before."

"I--"

Valeriana pulled on his arms and forced around her before crushing him into a hug. She pressed her face against his chest and breathed loudly, inhaling the scent he carried around most of the time. It made Corvan jump into a state of disbelief at the contact, but, hesitantly, he returned the hug.

"Corvan." Valeriana muttered against his chest.

"What?"

"Your heart's beating too fast."

He actually went red. "Nonsense."

"Thank you." She continued to whisper. "Thanks a lot."

They remained like that. Valeriana was no longer in tears.

"Do promise me one thing, Valeriana."

She pulled away. Corvan instantly felt the loss of her warmth, Valeriana as well did not desire to break away so soon. There was something about hugging Corvan that made her feel safe and secure.

She met his green eyes. Though she told him that his heart was beating fast, she couldn't say differently about her own. Her thoughts drifted to the words Zion left ringing inside her head.

"What? I've made a lot of promises today already. I'm not sure if I can keep all of them."

'He admires you more than you think, Valeriana.'

"You have to. Should anything go wrong, do not hesitate to ask for our aid."

'You bring out the best in Corvan and he brings out the best in you. I guess you two really suit each other.'

Valeriana wasn't fully engaged into the conversation. Her mind drifted with aimless thoughts about the conversation she had with the blue-haired lad. She continued to gaze at Corvan's face, tracing the chiseled jaws of his and the high bridge of his nose with her eyes.

Was it possible she had a crush on Corvan?

"HOLY DAMNED SHIZNITS!" She exclaimed, backpedaling.

Corvan furrowed his brows and gave her a questioning stare. "What is it?"

She held up a hand. "I was just having a thought. A goddamned outrageous thought."

This time, his expression was more than filled with confusion. "What sort of thought?"

"You can't know." She fiercely replied.

"Never mind, then. Do you desire to leave or not? Will this journey not give you a piece of the answers you need?"

"Yes." She nodded resolutely. "Everything's prepared right?"

"Since thirty minutes ago."

"Okay. I guess we should start heading out. We really should. Like, right now."

She could not stay behind, in one room, alone, with Corvan!

She broke into a sprint for the door, leaving the young heir behind, confused by the oddity of her actions.