As the night drew to a close I could feel myself growing numb. The impact my fathers death was going to have on my family and I was just beginning to dawn on me. What was Tiffany going to do? I even worried about Jocelyn and Olivia, even now as much as I hated them I struggled to not care about them. They had lost a dear family member as well. "Joseph?" I whispered. I hesitated to break the silence we had as we lay together on his bed but my nerves couldn't rest until I talked with him.

"Hmm?" His half asleep state made his voice sound deep and gravely

"What's going to happen to my family? I know you don't really know them and don't really have any obligation to help them but they're going through a hard time too." I tried to keep myself from sounding too much like a frightened little girl. I had been playing that part too often.

"I don't know what I can do for them." He replied in a soft tone. Stroking my hair and rubbing the top of my ear. "I'll take care of the funeral, and make sure that they're all well taken care of. Anything they need I can provide." He consoled and tried his best to calm my fearful mind.

"Except my dad." I whispered bitterly. "You can't give them my dad." A stray tear ran rouge down my cheek. I hurried to wipe it away before it was noticed but Joseph's calloused hand beat me to it.

"I'm sorry." His rough voice filled with remorse. "I'm so sorry Jessica if there's was anything I thought I could have done, I would have done it."

"You don't need to apologize." I muttered into his chest, instantly feeling bad for my accusingly salty tone. "It's not you, I couldn't blame you."

"He won't get away with it. I'll do whatever it takes to make sure he pays." His tone voiced all the anger and hatred I'd feel building, but lie simmering underneath my numbness.

"Good." Was all I whispered back.

***

The next morning Joseph went back to work as usual, pushing my fathers death to the back of his mind to make room for current problems. I on the other hand had a bit of a harder time letting go. My lack of appetite and interest irritated Joseph. I could tell by the way he looked at me and the tone he spoke in. I in return distanced myself from him not wanting him to be upset with me. He was my only lifeline. The only one I felt like I could trust, besides my little Tiffany but she was only 3 and didn't really understand stand anything except that she knew her daddy wasn't coming home.

The funeral preparations were handled by a stranger Joseph had hired the day after my fathers death. I was offered the job but couldn't even bring myself to think about buying flowers and the making pretty invitations, or basically participate at all.

It took 17 days to plan the entire funeral. 17 days when it only took a millisecond for him to be killed. That fact bothered me more than it should have. I should have been grateful but all I could be was bitter that there was a need for a funeral in the first place. We didn't even have the body. It was never given back by he who shall not be named.

My hands shakily smoothed over the wrinkles in my dress as I stood alone outside the chapel. I almost couldn't bear to face all the people sitting in neat rows to listen to people speak about my fathers life, a life that was tragically cut short by a murder, because of me. I knew that none of them knew that but the fact that it was, was eating me alive. My own family couldn't even face me after they found out all of the details. I raised my trembling hands from my dress, deciding it wasn't going to get any smoother and placed them on the shiny brass door handles. I took a deep breath to try and calm my buzzing nerves and fears.

When I opened the doors my face immediately flushed red. It seemed as though everyone was waiting for me because all the heads in the room whipped towards me. I checked my watch to make sure that I was on time. 12 o'clock on the dot. I gulped and made my way to the front trying to ignore the stated burning into the sides of my head. I sat on the right side of the bench deciding against sitting next to Olivia and Jocelyn as they both sent me the most animalistic glares.

As I sat alone on my side of the bench I concluded that everyone was staring because I walked in without the family. I didn't know if they thought it was my choice or theirs but I knew the whole crowd was probably confused.

I looked up when the pastor cleared his throat in an effort to gain everyone's attention. I didn't know what for seeing as how the entire play was silent. "We are here today to mourn the tragic death of Richard-......"I tuned his words out. I already knew everything he was Talking about. I hung my head and let My hair fall around my face creating a barrier from and and the people around. I jumped as I felt a little hand on my leg. I followed the arm up to the face and found Tiffany looking up at me with puffy red eyes bringing out their beautiful blue hue even more.

"Tiff." I murmured and lifted her into my lap. She didn't say anything. Just turned and buried her face into the crook of my neck, just like she would do anytime she was upset ever since she was a baby. I smoothed her hair and rubbed soft circles down her back to help her to stop crying.

The speakers were done speaking in what seemed like moments as I sat absently watching Tiffany breath in and out willing myself to do the same.

We sat in our black dresses and fine suits watching the pallbearer carry the empty casket out of the chapel and into the hearse. The back doors were shut and the vehicle was off to the cemetery to bury it's contents.

Tiffany was snatched from my arms as soon as the pastor took his seat again. "You are not to touch her ever again. Everything you touch dies. First your mother and now your father." Jocelyn scoffed and walked away with a wailing Tiffany in her arms.

My head hung lower if possible. I gulped back the sob that rose in my throat and bit my lip to keep the tears in my eyes. I wouldn't let any of these people see me crying. I stood up, my legs shaking just as bad as my hands.

I smiled and nodded as people offered they're condolences for my loss. People I didn't know gave me hugs and told me stories that didn't help me feel better at all. Nevertheless I held myself together through it all and didn't let my small fake smile falter once. Not until I was one of the only people left in the building. I shuffled toward the exit to meet everyone at the cemetery to bury the empty casket. Joseph stood alone waiting for me. I sighed relieved that I he was there.

"I thought I'd give you a ride to the cemetery seeing as how I couldn't drive you here." He said as I stopped in front of him. I smile at his thoughtfulness.

"I brought my own car but thanks for-,"

"I should have guessed you wouldn't want to go with me." He interrupted. "You just want to be by yourself and cry and stare into space while I talk to you." I stared at him confused. Where was this coming from he sounded like a teenage boy.

"What? I-,"

He cut me off again. "Forget it." He walked away without another word. I watched him leave and again had to hold myself from crying. He was right all I did nowadays was cry. I shook my head and rubbed my face and groaned into my hands. Why was I such a screw up.

I took one step before I found myself on the ground at the bottom of the stairs. I groaned and pushed myself up, my arms wobbling under my weight. My body felt like every bone was shattered, and crunched. Everything around me looked red and on fire. The previously green grass was now covered with rubble and burnt. The once grand chapel behind me was burning. I collapsed back onto my stomach my arms unable to hold me up anymore.

"Help me." I whispered meekly. My voice unable to rise above a whisper. My eyes slowly opened and closed getting heavier and heavier as time went by.

"Jessica." I could hear Joseph yelling somewhere in the distance over the raging fire behind me. I went to raise my head to acknowledge him and yell I was here. But the task proved to be too hard for my injured body.

I was lifted into a mans arms. His arms cradled me to his chest. I looked up expecting it to be Joseph, but was instead me with jet black hair and dark brown eyes. My blurry vision couldn't make out much more but I knew he was not someone I had ever met before. I struggled weakly in his grasp, but in all honesty was barley moving.

"Oh Jessica." The man whispered. "I've waited for so long to hold you in my arms like this." He began to walk. Each step sent little jolts of pain through my body. The world around me started to blur even more until all I could see were some colors all blended together mixed with large dark spots. Eventually even the color faded out and all there was was black, and then every other sense was lost too.