A/N OK we've noticed a number of people skipping this chapter, which is a shame because it's quite funny too. To be honest, it's one of those 'I don't know what the fuss is about things'.

It was just after my mid-morning nap when my collar told me to kneel for my robot masters. In a panic, I was just getting to my knees when the doors opened. At that moment I thought it was the apocalypse all over again. A pair Blue and Red general slave control robots blocked the door. They looked like a mixture of a crab and gorilla and a flamingo ( well at least the legs bent backwards not that they were pink or anything). Each stood about 2.5meters ( sorry 8 feet d*m those machines ) tall. The robot designer had obviously brainstormed the words 'nasty' , 'all-terrain' and 'doesn't like to dance' it mind when sketching the initial design.

"We are to take you to your upgrade," said the first blue robot.

"Upgrade? - What you think I could do with another spare pair of arms or something ?' I thought. I definitely didn't like the sound of this.

"Boys!" I started then got a pain shock "respected robot masters." I continued. "there has been some kind of mistake." before I could do anything the machine lifted a crab claw past my arm and my infernal wrist manacle stuck to it like gloom to an emo girl. I scuttled along after the robot (I was in five-inch stilettos that day I must have left my hiking boots at home somehow) and eventually I was dragged into a room in the deeper windowless slave habitation area.

Rockwood was standing there while I was dragged into a very unpleasant looking dentist chair. My manacles stuck magnetically to it and my shoes also magnetised to the footrests.

"Thank you, Huey and Duey," said Rockwood as they left.

"What's going on ?" I said, as a very unpleasant robot arm orbited me from above.

"I've decided to upgrade you," said Rockwood.

"WHAT!!! Enough of the Hentai-land experience," I said, "let me go!".

"I thought we had established how the whole master-slave relationship works. Hold still," said Rockwood.

The robot arm came down and executed a circle around my abdomen. There was a laser beam coming out it cut into my silicon catsuit without burning me.

It cut a disc of silicon about the size of a plate around my stomach.

"HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU IM NOT GOING TO ROLE PLAY ELIZABETH SHAW IN PROMETHEUS FOR YOU," I said.

"Remember that piercing you always thought about ?" he said.

"No," I said. OK, I lied. OK I had done a bunch of sketches. That was ages ago.

"Yes, you do. Here we go" said Rockwood.

"You're confusing me with someone else! Someone who has the ambition to resemble swiss cheese. I don't what to get a piercing! Please... master.." I said.

"Nonsense since when did you get a say in anything? Anyway, all my pets get upgraded," he said.

"I thought I was your first one?" I said.

"You are, but the good news is I'm starting my traditions now, with you as it happens," said Rockwood. He put his hand into my hand and a red button on a wire in the other.

"Feel free to hold as tightly as you like," he said. I did, my idea was to transfer as much of my pain into him I squeezed hard. Sadistic gum bag didn't notice it.

"Press the red button to begin," he said.

"NO!" I said realising the red button basically pressed go on the robot arm.

"Press it or I will think of something worse" he threatened.

"Worse than this! You would need an imagination bigger than the moon to be worse than this" I said.

"No problem. Press the button you were always interested. I know it," he said.

"NO!" I said.

"I'm going to press the button anyway, but if I press it a certain little mac mini is going to be rebooted and reset to a very very old back up," he said.

"You wouldn't! How do you know about it anyway?" I said.

"I know everything! I'm not going to let a certain pet out without watching her..." he said in a slightly sing-song way.

'C**P the things I do for love' I thought 'those guys so owe me ...' I closed my eyes firmly tight screamed and pressed the button shouting "I'm going to regret this!"

A/N If you don't like the idea of what's happening next it's OK to close your eye while you read the next paragraph.

"Remember to breathe," Rockwood said as his hand felt me pressing the button.

The robot arm came down and grabbed my stomach.

"This is where I would look away," he said. I kept my eyes tightly shut.

"Deep breath"said my collar.

"Push," said Rockwood.

"Push what?" I said opening my eyes then quickly closing them again.

"Sorry I was just getting carried away in the moment," said Rockwood.

Something metallic grabbed my bellybutton. I felt something crush my stomach followed by a clang sound like a staple gun. For a second knew what level 6 felt like. I screamed an obscenity.

A/N That is it! You can look again

"All done," said Rockwood.

I looked up.

"Is that it?" I said as I opened one eye. the machine arm lifted away. I looked down and in my belly button was a ring attached to the ring was...

"Is that a USB memory stick ?" I asked. It hurt like hell.

"Sure. You did really well" said Rockwood.

"Why did you get me impaled with a memory stick?" I said.

"You make it look good and I'm always losing memory sticks, don't you? Forever leaving them in machines. Now it's attached to you I won't forget you, so I won't lose it" he said with a smile.

"I'm not a b******y computer peripheral" I complained. This was worse than the pain of the ring.

Rockwood snorted "You not a computer peripheral! Ha! that's a rich one. That collar is more expensive than you are! That's before we talk about your second-hand price. And it's smarter. You're little more than a cute fleshy motion platform for the collar." He said playing with a computer screen which seemed to have a map of the human body on it.

"I'm not a peripheral I'm nothing like a ****** printer" I complained. Getting a zap from my PG13 filter for good measure.

"Your d*m right your not. Do you know how much ink costs? I tell you feeding you for life is a lot cheaper than buying magenta ink!" said Rockwood

"I resent that!" I said.

"And so you should, no matter how true it is," said Rockwood I got the impression he was enjoying this.

"It's not true!" I said.

"OK without asking your collar, what is your phone number?"

"I don't know, I never needed phone myself!" I said. "Is this you getting back at me for the virus?"

"Excellent! the words 'the' ,'drops' and 'penny' can be reorganised to form a popular sentence." he said.

"Look is this you getting back at me for the whole virus thing. Master" I said. Rockwood ignored me and swiped through the screen to a diagram of an ear.

"and the word is not 'getting back at you for' the word is 'punishing you'. Do you know how we managed to break into the world's most secure sites before what you call the apocalypse? The ones which thought they were safe because they were not connected to the internet? Our drones dropped USB keys in car parks of secure military sites. You know what most people's first response to finding a USB key is? They put it in their computer to see if they can use it to replace the one they lost. In our case, they actually had tiny computers in them. Didn't take long to upload a semi sentient virus. Then the virus just had to spread and wait until attack hour. Now that didn't hurt too badly did it?"

"No master" okay I was giving him the whole 'master' experience but like I said I didn't 'do pain' why do you think I never got a piercing in the first place? No, it wasn't just indecision and a fear of holding up queues in airport security.

"Look I'm not a pincushion okay... Master? .. Athelue? ... what ever" I said while Rockwood still looked at a screen.

"So Forward Helix Piercing or Ear Weaving Piercing? Your choice. What am I saying ? You're a slave you get no choice. One on each side then, it balances the weight out don't want you going around lopsided" said Rockwood. I shrieked again.

The robot arm grabbed my head and turned my head to the side.

"I don't want to be the next Lisbeth Salander!" I said. I squeezed his hand as hard as I could and it wasn't hard enough.

A/N Quick don't look.

There was a line of clunks again as the robot fired a row of needles through me like a sewing machine.

"Oww" I screamed. The robot arm grabbed me and flipped my head on to its other side. I felt like one of those metal bodies in a car factory being welded by a group of robot arms.

A/N That's it you can look again

"I'm sorry for the whole virus thing. Athelue" I said.

"Ahh you could have used Ceyalisu you could have got out of it."

"I'm not calling you Ceyalisu!" I said. That really would be too demeaning.

The machine had turned me over and the robot arm was zeroing in on my other ear. I focused on his hand and squeezed hard. Suddenly the burning on my left ear matched that on my right.

"You really are a cutie," he said.

"It won't happen again I promise Athelue" I said.

"Damn and there's me looking forward to you getting that tongue piercing," said Rockwood "and I was so hoping to work my way down your body. Next stop grand central."

The straps and magnetic locks which had kept me stuck to the chair released.

"Like I said last time. A virus vector like that could have killed a large number of slaves including your self. I know you don't approve of the new mechanical order, which is OK, you are a slave no one cares, but that doesn't give you the right to kill those who love you.Come and have a look in the mirror," said Rockwood.

I looked at the ear weaving too small white dots and one red one emerged surrounded by a tiny ring of gold was connected by a strip behind my ear. The red one seemed to be glowing.

"Am I like glowing?" I asked curiously looking at my Jennifer-Lawrence style ear extension.

"The top one shows your current emotional state magenta for pain, red anger. Blue for sad or light blue for thinking, orange for happy, green jealous, and so on. They are powered by your body heat. The bottom one flashes when your USB key is plugged in.."

"is that all I am for you just some kind of stupid accessory?" I said my ear turning red.

"Of course not, you're a really smart accessory. And I noticed now you're out of the upgrade machine all your master and Athelue's have gone" Rockwood said.

I was hurting and not holding his hand anymore. I tried to slap him but he caught my hand mid air with his lighting fast reflexes.

"And I've updated your collar OS. You're on Collar OS 10.8.2 has new punishments," said Rockwood.

"OWW," I said It felt like someone had used their hand to slap my bottom.

"They are supposed to be really realistic, was it? I'm not sure I like skeuomorphic punishments" said Rockwood.

I wasn't happy - yet he was right. I had thought about getting some piercings like this, but never all three not at the same time. I guess what made me angry was that I never had the courage to try this myself. Now I had done it I was slightly underwhelmed by the pain. He'd made me feel both brave and stupid at the same time. I'd always thought of myself as a little crazy but with him I was brave enough to be a little more crazy in every sense. And he had held my hand all the way through his large digits holding on to me never once complained however hard I pressed. I so loathed him I'm so never calling him ceyalisu, ever.

As I did #DEC walked into the room carrying an envelope.

"This just arrived by drone master," said #DEC handing it over.

"I hope this is what I think it is" said Rockwood opening the envelope. He pulled out an ornate card "wonderful it is! Permission for a cyborg with pet to enter the Judas City proper. We will be able to make good on the invite to a breeding party as Senator McConnell's guests."

There was no way I'm going to a breeding party I thought Oh yeah I forgot I'm a slave/intern/pet/usb-stick I don't get much of a say anymore. My ear turning from magenta back to red a deep red.

*******

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