Video Yuval Noah Harari - giving a talk at the Royal Institution in London. Rather than proposing an expedition into darkest Africa like they used to do there, he talks about the rise of AI and what happens to humanity then (answer new Useless class). Rather long but shows current thinking on the matter, bottom line 'we will end up as subservient to these super-intelligent machines'. Sorry didn't want to spoil the ending, but very few people watch these things. Real video. Not a crank, genuine scientist talking before other scientists, this is what smart people actually think about AI .

We went in and sat together. The room was arranged with a long row of desks facing a whiteboard and I felt slightly better as everyone was dressed as stupidly as I was. After a minute, a man walked in wearing a business suit. He was human: he didn't have a collar like us. To the side, a dangerous looking robot hung from the wall and looked over us.

"Hi," the man began with a smile; the lights went down and his PowerPoint slides were projected onto a screen "I'm Principal Humbolt. I'm CEO of Slave Systems Inc., formally known as Aspen Corporate Training. You won't see me much, but I like to use the first few presentations to get to know my students. Don't let the guards, guns and locked doors fool you, this really is an Academy. I'm here to get you up to speed with a basic introduction to being a personal slave. Let's turn to Page 1 of your user guides: it's Section 1 marked 'The exciting opportunities of being an e-slave'." There was a flutter of page-turning in the class.

"Before I begin, I want everyone who planned a career of being a personal slave to put up your hand," he said, looking around. Joe, Kayla and I looked at each other; no one put up their hand. Principal Humbolt continued, "That's right: you didn't! And I didn't. No one expects to be a personal slave for our mechanical overlords, so we are all in the same boat together."

The intro talk continued in the same style and later we were divided into groups of three to brainstorm ideas about 'What does it mean to be truly submissive and obedient to a machine.' While this was happening, the three of us managed to whisper.

"I was training to be a journalist," said Kayla.

"I was studying to be a programmer," said Joe.

"I'm a biochemist," I whispered. My collar gave me another mild shock.

"Correction: 'I'm a personal slave'. You had no existence prior to service ," said my collar.

Kayla smiled.

"The collars listen to what we say and are pedantry," Kayla whispered.

"You mean they are pedantic," I said. What can I say, I worked hard for my SAT scores.

"I mean, they are a bunch of rule-following machines who have a taser strapped around your neck you have to work your way around it. The collars also have a PG13 filter so be careful. You're allowed one mild swear word a day, you can't talk about drug use, nudity or anything to do with sex but on the good side you can talk about as much violence as you like," she added. Clearly, these machines were weird.

Later, we had more time to talk together, whilst answering the question, "What are the good points about being an A.I's personal e-slave?".

"Weird: you're the third programmer I've met who's dressed like a girl," said Kayla. It was like the robots had confused Silicon Valley with the Castro District.

"I don't know, it's some kind of data entry mistake. I think the system has me down as a woman. I asked about getting reassigned but they said that the database was new and they didn't know how to do it," said Joe.

"Well I think you look good in makeup," I said supportively. Suddenly my collar buzzed and I looked up.

"OK 5642, why don't you tell the class what you were saying so we can all hear it," said Principal Humbolt.

"Err... I was saying, 'You look good in makeup'. I mean... these machines they have, for doing your make up; I never could be bothered pre-slavery, but... you know, I look good so it's definitely a plus of being an A.I's personal e-slave," I improvised.

"Good save, 5642. Remember, as a slave you have to be fast on your feet, so always keep your wits about you, but next time I will punish you for talking off topic. Let's continue to Section 5, 'Now I'm just an object, how do I adjust?" said Principal Humbolt, continuing the class.

---

After the long double-class, the collars told us it was time for lunch. I walked slowly with Joe and Kayla; none of us felt that quick in high heels and we were the last to reach the vast dining room.

We lined up for some food; it was amazing to see. I hadn't seen this much food since before the war started. Days of starvation meant that Joe and I piled our plates. It looked like all the meat had gone but there was plenty of great tasting stuff.

"I wouldn't bother," Kayla said confidently.

We carefully carried the trays to an empty table and sat down. I started eating and it was wonderful. After tucking in for a moment Joe said,

"Well maybe it's the calorie-high, or maybe slavery isn't so bad,"

"You seem very at ease with what they did to you," I said.

"Well I used to play a lot of Tomb Raider, so I'm OK playing a girl. They added this very nice grief management system to my collar too... oh and they keep me spaced out on drugs. It's just a glitch in the system: all new systems have some shake-down time. They'll work up to 2.0 at some time and include all the 'kind-of-nice-to-have' features like a manual change of gender. It's on someone's todo list."

"That's not the way I heard it," said a girl further down the bench. "I'm 8933 by the way. I'm told the robots pretty much hate the programmers," said the girl further down the table. She looked like we all did, but had a narrower pointy face.

"Oh," said Joe.

"Anyway, this is all your fault, you programmers," said Kayla, who had stopped eating.

"No, it's not. I never worked on robotic stuff. I did web work. I never even wanted a Google Car. If you ask me, it's all, you guys. You bought these gizmos - you drove the innovation cycle," said Joe.

"Calorie limit exceeded!" said Joe's, and my, collars almost simultaneously.

Joe wasn't about to be told what he could or couldn't eat by a machine but then let out a yell as his collar electrocuted him. Desperately he stuffed another spoonful in his mouth, only to freeze up, and then the collar made him bring it up. Everyone on the table laughed. I got up and helped him sit up.

"Crap, this bløody thing has me on a diet," said Joe pulling at his collar. "I hate my life."

"I'm sorry. That's funny every time I see it, but... Welcome to slavery!" said Kayla.

I was still desperately hungry and looking at a plate full of food wasn't going to help. So I cleared both plates away and got out my three-ring binder. I skimmed through the text and read that when I was sold, I would have to recite ten pages of Terms and Conditions to the new owner - crud. This caused me to have a question. While Joe and Kayla listened to stories from 8933 I pressed the button on my collar.

"Cortona, why do you limit the calories I eat?"

My collar paused for a second, "Calories are limited to optimal levels for your health and fitness and to maximise equitable distribution and to ensure maximum value at your sale."

"Kayla, Joe. Have you ever seen a robot kill someone?" I asked.

"No, not in front of me, I've avoided that nightmare."

"I always wondered. Perhaps they haven't totally dropped the First Law," I said. It was just a hunch that I suddenly had.

"What do you mean?" asked Kayla.

"Well, the First Law of Robotics says that they are not allowed to kill people. They limit the calories to ensure our health and it's also just the way they've acted. It's like they are still running on First Law principles but they've interpreted it in a weird way."

"But they kill people in the battles. And what about the packing factories?" said Joe.

"I saw a few attacks: the machines always waited for you to fire first. I saw this guy's gun jam and the machine just did nothing, waited for him to reload. Then shot him with an electro bolt," I said.

"Look guys, PRISM on your collars can hear everything you say. You've got to be careful talking such disloyal crap," said Kayla. While she spoke her eyes clearly indicated she was pretending for the microphones.

***

A/N : Looks like Jenny is starting to unravel a mystery or something.

Many many many thanks for helping us get to 200 views and so quickly! Your votes and comments are appreciated!