3Months Later Alessa's P.O.V

Sighing deeply, I reclined back into my styling seat, allowing the girls to begin swarming me, grabbing various combs and other tools to began my hair and makeup. The familiar feeling of makeup powders and brushes caressing my skin, where hair stylists took layers if my hair before setting each stand into flawless curls.

But I didn't feel flawless. I felt lost. Empty. Alone.

When I returned back home, I instantly contacted Ali, who had returned home a week before. We caught up and allowed me to spill ever emotion I had locked up for the last few hours. I fell into what I could only describe as ; deep depression.

I didn't return back to work for a solid month, I mostly spent it at home, sifting through old paperwork and contracts. Cleaning my apartment that had been left to collect dust for almost a whole year. Ever so often pausing over familiar pictures of those hypnotic ocean eyes, the familiar tug at my heart following me around day and night, a never ending cycle.

I still couldn't sleep properly at night, my mind always wandered to , him. What he was doing. Was he thinking about me?

Of us?

Because I couldn't stop thinking about him. I missed him, I would never deny that. His scent, his smile, his touch. Everything.

I missed all of him. To the point my heart felt incomplete.

Through the months I realised a lot of things about myself . That I had picked up my career at the start only because I wanted something to occupy the mind and fill my empty schedule. My parents were rarely around to talk to, I didn't socialise at clubs or bars much, Ali being my own close friend. But Angelo became not only my schedule, but my life.

It wasn't fun anymore, the hair the makeup, the clothes the cameras. It all felt too much.

I wanted to go back to him. To the life I made, we made.

But I was still so hesitant. It hurt me what he did, it hurt me even more that my father set up such a thing. Yet a small voice inside my mind told me that Angelo's feelings, in the raw intensity of his eyes, were genuine.

I realised I doubted myself. I doubted whether I could handle his lifestyle forever, I doubted whether I could be there for him when he needed me. I doubted my safety as well as his own . I feared loosing him to the same gun he effortlessly yields.

I feared us.

Days began passing me by in a blur, I became more introverted as moments passed, becoming lost in my thoughts.

I became a lost lover.

***

My thoughts where broken as the familiar piercing shrill of my ringtone filled the silence of my bedroom. Sitting up on my bed, I slowly reached across to my nightstand to where my phone lay.

Without looking at the flashing screen I picked up the phone.

"Alessa?" My mothers familiar time called down the line. My body stiffened as I hadn't talked to my parents in the past three months since I returned after finding out the truth. But I couldn't deny I found comfort in my mothers voice.

"Hi," I croaked, I knew I hadn't been looking after myself lately, people became worried of the bags that had settled underneath my eyes in a permanent state. My eyes seemed duller as well as my appearance had gotten worse.

I heard a sigh of relief through the phone," I thought you wouldn't pick up," she breathed, "Angelo called the other day and told us what happened when he said he wasn't coping well with the mafia," she stated, my breathing hitched as the name resounded within my heart and gave a lurch at the simple sound.

"What happened Alessa?" She asked as my silence resounded down the phone.

"I found out the truth that's what happened" I spoke bitterly, hurt that even my own blood kept the truth away from me.

Hearing a low huff, her familiar chuckle sounded down the phone, "You remind me so much of myself," she replied, a hint of amusement tinting her tone.

"You really think I simply accepted your fathers choice?" She began, a nervous chuckle sounding soon after, as if she were recalling those very days.

"I was scared for myself and him beyond belief," she confessed, my brows furrowed as I struggled to recall when my mother told me about how her and my father met. Especially when he lead a dangerous mafia gang.

"Then why did you marry him?" I asked, confusion sweeping my mind, my back laying against the linen sheets of my bed, feeling my body softly sink into the soft mattress.

"Because my trust in him kept us together, his display of love kept us together, and I loved him," she explained softly, sounding like a love struck teenager as she sighed softly down the phone.

"It wasn't the fact that he hid the truth from , it was the fact that you were scared of committing your life to such a path," she continued, my heart skipping a beat as she struck the truth, hard. It was something I couldn't admit to myself, not until the pain ate at me.

"Love is always complicated, perfection is not always going to be there, and nor should it be," she pointed out, her tone resounding in my head as I took in her words of wisdom, my emotions bubbling up within.

"Angelo loves you Alessa, even in my old age I can see the undeniable sparks between the two of you," she paused, taking in my silence as my emotions continued to rage towards the surface , my felt my eyes waver as I stared at the ceiling, hating how alone I felt.

"If you do claim you truly love him, why did you leave him sweetheart?" She asked after a few moments, her soft voice striking one single cord in my heart.

That's when I broke.

"I don't know anymore mum," I began to sob, a cry erupting from my trembling lips, a lump formed in my throat as my vision blurred and I felt the familiar hot stream of tears trail down my cool skin.

"It hurts so much, I can't take this pain,"I admitted, sniffling as I wiped away a start tear from my chin. My heart and my mind was a mess, she was right. I was scared of that path, but that shouldn't hold me back from the man I love. The man I can't live without anymore.

Angelo.

"Do you remember the bullet you took for that man?" She spoke again after a few moments.

"Of course," I replied, my fingers trailing over the spot where my scar lay underneath clothing, hidden from many eyes. My mind reminding me of the sudden fear that took over my body as I watched the steel object be raised towards him, my had heart lurched at the thought of loosing him.

I was in deep.

"I don't think you know how long he spent at your beside waiting for you to open your eyes," she muttered, I could sense the turmoil through her tone, I knew it hit everyone hard, but I had never thought of how much.

"I could see his turmoil, how he would give anything for you to switch positions with him," she stated, her tone quiet and hushed almost sounding in a daydream.

"That bullet scar you still have today can only represent your love," she continued on, my hand remained laying over the scar, one that I had always tried to avoid looking at every day. But yet never took my time to realise how symbolic it is, to me.

"You loved him enough to be able to take a bullet for him for him to live a longer life, because you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if he died saving you," she said, I felt my heart clench at her words, remembering how he held me after I left the hospital, how he kept on repeating he'd never let me go, how precious I was to him. The feeling of his warmth in his embrace sent tingles dancing across my skin as my mind tried to recall the feeling, yearning to feel it again, and again on a never ending cycle.

Angelo...

"Is my statement correct?" She asked, after listening to my silence throughout her speech. I muttered a weak, 'yes', before another sigh echoed down the phone.

"Love is never a straight road, there's always going to be moments where you fall into a ditch and it feel as if the ground could swallow you whole," she stated, my brows furrowing on her meaning, my hand tugging absentmindedly on a loose strand of hair.

"But that's what builds the bonds of love, to be able to survive those rocky paths, to be able to climb together," she finalised, my silence managing to speak volumes.

"He would never let anyone hurt you Alessa, he cherishes your happiness and life more than he cherishes his own,

"He admitted to me he felt guilty for not telling you the truth," she admitted, taking in a breath before she spoke again,"But honey if he did, you would if only run in the opposite direction." My eyes closed momentarily as I absorbed her words.

"And I did," I spoke, everything within my mind that remained scattered in places and didn't make sense to me finally clicked into place. He didn't tell me to protect me, to keep his word not only to my father but get rid of an enemy that remained a threat to me, he didn't want to scare me nor put me at risk of running away.

I smiled softly to myself as I remember his family, how welcoming and warm they were to me. His siblings being nothing but loving, treating me as if I had known them for years. They let me in with open arms.

And I walked away.

"I messed up, in my own way, but I don't know what to do," I confessed softly down the phone, wincing as I felt my voice crack under the raw emotion that tore me up inside.

Would he even want me back? After I got up and left him alone, no solid explanation on my retreat back home, only to pity myself and do nothing to fix anything that had broke.

"He's waiting for you Alessa, waiting for you to be ready to return to him," she said softly, my mind seemed to clear as everything I had been confused about clicked into place.

"Go to him Alessa, he's waiting," she said, I felt the first genuine smile grace my face in three solid months of self pity and confinement. I belonged with Angelo, I didn't need my career to keep me happy, I didn't need a constant reminder of security and safety.

I just needed to be beside Angelo, him alone is my safety, my comfort. My home.

"I will mum," I whispered down the phone, hearing the like go dead I sat up, feeling a new surge of power overtake my system.

I was going back, back home to Angelo.

*******************

Hey! It's been a while since I updated. I still have exams at the moment which are four weekdays from being over.

I updated this because I felt as if you guys had waited enough, from looking through the endless comment I receive. Which I do read- every single one of them.

Thank you guys for all your support it means the world to me! I'll be posting more regularly soon, I promise!

It still surprises me that people enjoy what I write, and I'm definitely not the most skilled in writing books at the age of 16😅

Don't forget if you liked this chapter don't forget to; Vote Follow Comment

And don't forget to check out my new book- HIS MASTERPIECE

Until next chapter my lovelies! ~Bella x