The longest I had ever sat in traffic before was about two hours all at once. It was when Hurricane Rita came through Texas years ago. My family and I evacuated to Austin in a crappy, cramped Jeep Grand Cherokee and to make it worse, me and my two brothers were crammed side by side while my baby sister was in a car seat which was making the space issue that much worse. I can't help but remember all the boats, RV's, trailers and old cars people were trying to leave with. I swear it was like "hurricane be coming, everything be insured, take it anyway! Fuck it!" Okay, so you had the extra shit on the road, which would have been payed for if it got wasted or floated out to sea, never to be seen again, on top of the fact that Texans are some of the WORST drivers you have ever seen in your lives. People with Mustangs drive like they own the Road, Camaro drivers are just as bad, then you got the tuners who make 147 horsepower at the rear wheels, aka my Dad, who feel the need to blow the doors of the Camaros and the mustangs in the corners. Now, you add the zombies. All those people in Ford F-150's and Chevy Silverados that will jump in front of you at 75MPH and then go 20 miles an hour, then turn right around and do 90 through a school zone. Now throw all of this into a large bowl, whisk liberally and then sprinkle in broken traffic lights, the occasional stupid cop and bake at 350 for 20 minutes and your result is a typical Monday on the Beltway 88 in Houston. Another problem I was facing now that we didn't have in the jeep was a manual transmission. Yes, you heard that right, the Manual in the Civic is a problem. Thing was, Automatics aren't trying to spin when you sit in traffic, the computer disconnects the torque converter from the engine, but in a Manual, the tranny will spin unless your foot is on the clutch. I had read too many horror stories about what happens when manual transmissions decide they want to fail sitting in traffic, and since I wasn't in the mood to lose my life and kill my girlfriend, you could guess where my foot was. Even though the transmission wasn't going to overheat because the cooler was on and it wasn't spinning, the engine and I were playing a much different game. The Turbo and the Supercharger were already feeding the engine hot air, even with the intercooler. Toss in the small fact that the ambient air temperature was about, oh 110 degrees and I was playing a dangerous game with my engine. I can already feel the money loosening from my wallet now for. The radiator be like, "hehe fuck you, I'm gonna blow out and cost a few hundred dollars."

"Were gonna overheat", I said looking at the temperature gauge, "they make transmission coolers, why can't they make engine coolers?"

"There called radiators", Nina smirked.

I sighed, "shut up, you know what I mean."

Nina made what I could only describe as a troll face, the one where the guy is staring off to the left and smiling that creepy smile.

"Trolled", she smiled.

I shook my head, "you know it's a long walk back to 29."

"I'll just fly", Nina said.

"No you won't", I said, "not in this traffic. Even if you did Morningstar would get so pissed that...well try not to think about that."

"Good point", she smiled, "but you still can't kick me out of the car. I won't go, we'll be sitting a while if you do."

I just stared at her, "how long?"

She shrugged, "until you decide your hungry, which knowing you won't be long."

I felt my cheeks get hot.

"Trolled!", Nina laughed again.

"Your paying for your own lunch!", I said.

"That brakes date rules!", Nina said, "the guy is supposed to pay!"

I groaned and bashed my head on the steering wheel, of all the females on this planet, why did the one I spent 2 months knocking myself unconscious to get to have to be the biggest troll ever!?

"Trolled!", Nina coughed, choking on her own laughter.

I hit my head on the steering wheel again.

"Oh come on love", Nina said managing to calm herself down, "I'm just having a bit of fun."

"Oh are you now?", I said, "cause I'm not."

"You don't say?", Nina said making the infamous Nicholas Cage face at me.

"Stop! Stop it! Stop taunting me!", I growled.

Nina laughed and put the passenger seat back a bit, adjusting the harness as traffic once again started moving. I put the Civic into first and passed through the intersection. I drove for a few more blocks before we turned into a Burger King and entered the drive through. I turned down Easton Corbin's All Over the Road as we pulled up to the speaker.

"Watch this Nina", I said as I stopped.

"Welcome to burger king how may I help you?"

"Do you sell burgers here?", I asked, trying to keep a straight face.

"Do, do I what?", the man on the other end of the speaker asked.

I glanced back at Nina, who was red faced trying to contain her laughter.

"Do you sell burgers here?", I asked.

The answer almost knocked me out

"No we sell hookers", the man said.

Too easy, "then I want a skinny 5'11 blonde with class 3 boobies."

I could hear a shit load of laughter on the other end of the microphone as I turned back to Nina, who seemed to have lost her voice and was turning slightly blue.

'All right, all right", the man said returning to the speaker, "can I take your order now?"

"Two orders of chicken nuggets, spicy chicken fries and a coke to drink", I said, "what you want love?"

"Get me a Large number nine with Pepsi", Nina said.

"Two orders of chicken nuggets, spicy chicken fries, coke, large number nine, Pepsi", the man said, "is this correct?"

"Yes", I said.

"Thank you that will be $25.69 please pull up to the window."

I rolled up the Civic's window and began to snail behind the other cars up to the window, turning the radio back on, which turned out to be DeCafe, causing the speakers in the back of my car to shake.

I laughed a little, "0'6 Civic on 21 inch wheels."

The Civic inched along behind the stanced Chevy Impala Sedan in front of us. It was sporting a large wing and turbo badge that seemed to have come off a Supra. I could see two little kids in the back who seemed to be going crazy. Smiling at myself a little bit, I held the brake down tightly and revved the engine to about 7,000 RPM. The wail from the Supercharger made the two kids jump and look back at my car, which held their attention long enough for their parents to order and get out of the parking lot. I Idled the car to the window and put mine down as a black woman showed up.

"25.69", she said

I handed her a few bills and some change, "you guys like wailing superchargers?"

"Sir?", she asked.

"You guys like loud superchargers?"

"Oh that was your car?"

"Yes mam", I smiled.

"I knew I heard something, we didn't know who it was."

"This who it was", I said, "you ready for it again?"

"Sir?"

"You ready for it again?", I asked.

"mm-mm", she said.

Smiling, I revved the engine again, the wail shaking the window of the BK building and causing a few people inside to look in my direction.

"Are you Josh Miller by any chance?", she asked as she handed me a receipt.

"That would be me", I said.

"My son seen some of your you tube videos", the woman said, "he wants to build his Integra Type-R just like your Civic."

I smiled, "tell him he can buy a clone of my Engine on HKS.com."

The woman smiled at me as I idled to the next window where the man handed Nina and I our drinks and our food. She put the drinks in the center console as I inched the Civic to the edge of the parking lot and turned on the blinker to get back into traffic. I sat there for a few minutes before I was able to get out into traffic. I cruised to about 3000 RPM before I shifted into second gear. The turbo blew off a little bit of pressure as I came to a stoplight, downshifting back into first. I ate a little bit of chicken and took a drink of coke while I waited for the light to turn green. While I waited, a silver Ruf Yellow Bird pulled up behind me. He seemed to think he was hot shit, revving his engine and seeming as though he was trying to intimidate me, though I suppose it was just as possible that he was having battery problems and was goosing the engine in an attempt to charge it.

"Sounds like he's got a battery problem", I said setting my coke down as the light turned green.

"Or he wants to race", Nina said.

"HA!", I laughed, 'not in a Ruf Yellowbird he doesn't. That thing is a twitchy unbalanced psychopath. Have you seen the in car Nurburgring in that thing?"

She nodded, "my Corvette and that front wheel drive Chevy from Track week in a nutshell."

"Now add in LV Traffic with the Yellowbirds twitchy handling", I said, "that's a recipe for disaster."

"How the hell did we end up in Las Vegas Ace?", Nina asked.

"Hell if I know", I smiled looking around as I came to a stop at the next stoplight, "I just wish we could be here at night. Next time we get leave we should come spend the day here. I hear there are a shit load of all you can eat buffets."

Nina smiled, "and that's all you need?"

"Straight up sister", I smiled as I pulled away from another stoplight, shifting into second gear at about 3400 RPM. It took me about an hour or so to find my way out of the city and get on the road back home to Death Valley. The sun gradually changed from yellow, to orange and then to pink as it set. Soon my sunglasses came off and the headlights came on. The GPS was saying A29 was about 45 minutes up the road when my issue phone rang. I pulled off the side of the road and checked it, it was Morningstar, wondering where I was no doubt.

"Hello?", I asked.

"Ace", Morningstar said, "it's Morningstar, where the hell are you?"

"About 45 minutes up the road from 29", I said, "I turned somewhere during the stream and Nina and I ended up in Las Vegas."

"Sure Ace", Morningstar said, "you "ended up" in Las Vegas. How much money you lose?"

"$25.69 at a Burger King", I said.

Morningstar laughed, "anyway, I called to let you know that we have developments on the Mercenaries you kids encountered in Pakistan. The others have already been informed, you and Nina need to come to the broad room as soon as you can once you get back."

"Yes sir", I said, "see you in about and hour."

I started the Civic and started on the way home again. About 50 minutes later, I pulled into the Garage where Morningstar kept all the cars. I woke up Nina and she went back to the barracks while I went to take a shower. I grabbed my personal rifle form the armory and then walked to the Borad room in the dome. When I entered, Morningstar as well as all seven broad members were there.

"Ace", Sarah said, "please sit, we have something you should hear. Where's your girlfriend?"

"Oh shut up", I said sitting in my seat.

Sarah smirked at me and clammed up.

"So what you guys have for me?", I asked.

Morningstar slid me a folder, "the mercs work for a company called Black River Contracts, PMC group coming out of Los Angles. They have bases in 20 countries and regularly work with the US Army handling things they need dead, but can't touch because of the rules of engagement."

"The UN calks 1,021 accidental civilian deaths to their name", Sam, another broad member, said, "I managed to get my hands around some older files from the 90s and found even more deaths which were on purpose, 12,276."

"Wow", I sighed, "what the fuck were they doing?"

"Working for the US Government", Sam sighed, "a senator wanted a few villages full of troublesome African Natives removed so he could have a pipeline built."

I shook my head.

"It only gets worse", Riley said shaking her head as well, "I did some digging as well, these guys are real into the New World Order type shit that Alex Jones likes to rant about. We have a few recordings of their higher ups stating in public that the Worlds population needs to be thinned out in way that would require global nuclear annihilation."

I thought for a minute, "Hmm, what exactly would they gain from that? PMC's are for hire, they would only do something of such caliber if they stood to greatly benefit from it."

"I'm going to save us all the trouble", Morningstar said, "we had this debate with my son earlier today, the fact of the matter is we just don't know anything about them, in fact, it seems no one does. I dug around and I could barely find anything about them, even on their own website. They seem as cut and dry as, give us a problem, payment and the problem goes away."

"But who would have hired them to capture or kill that elder guy in Pakistan?", I asked, "I'm so confused right now sir."

"We all are Ace", Morningstar sighed, "this may have just been a one time deal, but I have a bad feeling about them. Let me do a little more digging. Until then, your dismissed."

I rose, gave Morningstar a salute and then walked back to the barracks, pulling out my PC and setting it up on the desk along with my web cam. I got the you tube stream set up and then posted it on Short Throw TV on Facebook. Once that was done, I waited till about 200 of my 1,097 subscribers had come online before I went live.

"Are we live?", I asked my audience as I started the stream and began trying to set up the chat box. Once that was set up, I saw it was full of comments saying that I was up and running.

I leaned back in the bean bag chair, "so if your watching this now then chances are you saw the last stream, which wasn't very long and was mostly a street race", I laughed, "I didn't see too much complaining about the race in the comments so I guess that was a good sign. This season of One Take was crazy. I did a little math and the average horsepower per car I drove was 650. Next season, if I have everything my way, average horsepower will jump big time. I won't say what it is, but one car I will be driving early in the season has a V12 and 3,000 crank horsepower, I'll just leave that there. Any way guys, life has been treating me well lately. I'm an Army Specialist now, I've got a girlfriend who seems at least a little bit into me.

"More like a lot", Nina called from her bed.

"Not at first you weren't", I answered as she rolled out of her bed and grabbed the other bean bag chair, dropping it beside me and falling into it.

"I'm gonna hijack your stream love", she smiled.

"How?", I asked.

She shrugged.

"That's what I thought", I answered looking down at the tablet in my lap, "now let's see here...."

A Creepy Goelm Tower writes", I said, "quote, Josh, would you rather an AR-15 or an Ak-47? Why? And do you have a personal weapon?"

"I would rather an AR-15 because they are way more modular than Ak's and I actually do have my personal firearm right here", I said leaning down to pick it up., "this is my rock river arms LAR-15 short for Lightweight Armalite Rifle model 15. It's got a DPMS Muzzle brake that took forever to ship, Midwest Industries Gen Three rifle length float handrail, key mod aluminum angled fore grip that I already forgot the brand of, Duracoat paint, all Magpul stock parts, Magpul sling attachment points, a Magpul Battery Assist Device lever, BSA Red Dot, Magpul BUIS, a Midway USA sling and a AXTS Raptor Ambidextrous Charging Handle."

I set my rifle down and scrolled down to the comment right below it.

"Dat Funky Underwear Smell writes", I laughed, "Josh how much money did that AR cost you to build and where did you get it?"

"Well Dat Funky Underwear Smell", I laughed, "seesh what up with the user name? That rifle has about...I'd say $700 worth of parts in it, $500 of which I did myself and it was a $500 Dollar kit, not counting the RRA lower. It's around I'd say a $1300 dollar assault rifle and the money for the parts I bought came from my first few paychecks at the O'Riley Auto parts store that I worked at. I just saved everything I earned and bought it all at once. Lets see now....whose next?"

I scrolled down the long list.

'A Winkled Toenail Carton asks", I said, "what? Like...what the fuck? What is with you guys and these user names? Anyway he asks, "Josh, Minecraft username, I know you got one. My username is Tyro619."

"Moldy Cucumber asks", Nina said, "Josh, what was the worst thing that ever happened to you in Minecraft?"

"Losing my main map", I said, "I had a map I was some four or so total days of play time into and I deleted it by accident."

I scrolled down the page some more, finding a rather familiar comenter.

"Here's a good one", I said, "Someone In London writes, "Hey Josh, I'll keep this short. I know from earlier videos of yours that the car you would take in a heartbeat is a '92 Toyota Supra, though given the fact that your Civic is well known, especially out here in London. Since you started your channel, Nissan V6 swapped Civics are turning up all over the place and causing a stir in the Front Wheel Drive club. Given that it's made such a splash in a short amount of time, I'd like to ask what you would do if you were offered a choice between keeping the Civic or having your dream Supra."

"That is a good question", Nina said as I leaned back in the bean bag chair.

"Well Someone In London", I said, "it would be a tough call, I love that evil little Honda, your blowing doors off Nissan GTR's in that little blue blur, but I think at the end of the day the Short Throw Civic would get traded for what would become the Short Throw Supra. By the way bro, you wanna come on the stream?"

At the bottom of the chatbox, I saw him post, "I'm actually a girl, but sure."

It took me a minute to set up the stream so Someone In London could come on and it was a pain in my tail to get the audio to work. After about ten minutes, I asked her to try it.

"Does it work?", she asked, "can you hear me?"

"Yeah we can hear you sister", Nina said.

"I just hope everyone else can hear you", I said, "I'm not sure I did this audio right."

The chat box flooded with a bunch of people saying they could hear us.

"Welcome to the stream sister", I said, "I've seen you commenting on my videos as far back as the Civic being a 4 cylinder with 200 horsepower."

"Happy to be here Josh", she answered, "I've always been a fan of Front Wheel Drive Cars. What started it was when I was, I think about 5 and I was cruising with my parents and a 1932 Chord 810 Replica and a Honda Civic blew by us at about 170 miles an hour was what started it, though I think the Acura Integra Type-R, which I actually own, my boyfriend bought it for me and your Honda Civic show what a lot of here over at the Front Wheel Drive club already knew."

"What's that?", I asked.

"That people need to stop hating on front wheel drive", she laughed.

"You sound a bit Irish", I said, "pardon my asking, but do you live in Ireland?"

"Nope", she said, "I live in the Chezc Republic, I just moved out of Ireland so I could get away from the stupid gun laws and do more stuff with my You Tube channel."

"What you do on your you tube channel?", I asked.

"well I do two things", she said, "I do a bunch of crazy stuff with my old Mosion Nagat. I basically do all kinds of modification to it and then beat the shit out of it and see if it still works. When I'm not beating my rifle to death, I look up stupid shit that radical third wave feminism say online and make fun of it."

"So like Sargon Of Akkad and Undoomed?", I asked adjusting the stream volume.

"Exactly", She said, "Sargon Of Akkad was a pretty big inspiration for me. I actually met him at GamerGate. You remember that fiasco right?"

"Nah", I said, "not real big on Social media other than You Tube and Horsepower.com."

"You should study up on GamerGate then", she said, "it was all about a bunch of feminazi's coming down on gamers and telling us our identity was dead."

"Oh well fuck them then", I said, "speaking of internet campaigns that end with hashtag gate, did you hear about that stupid bullshit with the dictionary?"

"DictionaryGate?", she laughed, "that was serious?"

"Teal Dear did a thing on how he got censored when he made a bunch of points on it, I'll throw up a link to the video in the chat, but basically he linked the guy's public Twitter Account, then the dude filed a Privacy Violation claim with You Tube and Teal lost the video."

"Fucking hell", she said, "did Teal have to close his own twitter account? Based off the shit that the guy who wrote Avengers Age Of Ultron got on Twitter I'm going to put money on yes."

"Then you owe me", I said, "no Teal didn't lose his account, but he tweeted out Tee-hee", and I'm not even joking, this seriously happened, the guy flagged that tweet with "report for harassment."

"Did you see Sargon's piece on the hate that the AOU writer got for Black Widow's backstory?", she asked.

"Just this afternoon", I said, "fucking hell, beware the twitter lynch mob."

'No shit?", she asked, "by the way, My name's Sonya."

"Nice to meet you Sonya", I said, "you were on the last stream, so you met my girlfriend Nina."

"I did", Sonya laughed, "your very pretty by the way Nina."

"How dare you oppress me by saying I look attractive you shitlord", Nina giggled, "though with Joking aside, thanks Sonya."

"Your quite welcome. And where does the world Shitlord come from anyway?", Sonya laughed, "I don't think I've ever actually heard a rabid fembot use the word shitlord."

"Steve Shives", I laughed, "fucking hell I bet I'll be blocked on Twitter if I go try to check his account out tomorrow morning."

"I already am", Sonya laughed, "by the way, have you seen Sargon's vid on Racial Slurs."

"Don't even bring that shit up", I laughed, "I can feel my lungs giving out now."

"You laughed that hard?", Nina asked.

"Sargon said some things I'm not going to say on the stream", I said, "but I'll put the link in the video description when it goes up on Short Throw Shifter."

"I can't speak for you Josh, but I know if people watch that video and then bitch about it, I'm gonna have a real hard time not coming back to your channel and posting deliberately offensive content, because I know people like them, are going to get offended", Sonya said.

I laughed, "moving on to some more comments here."

...

"Sexy Bottle of Slugs asks", I said, "Josh have you and Nina fucked yet?"

"Straight to the point much?", Sonya asked, "and Sexy Bottle Of Slugs? The hell kind of username is that?"

"Welcome to my freaky little channel", I said, "no shut up fuck off, next question."

"He totally fucked her, Why R U SO UGLY writes", Nina said. She made a disgusted sound, "no he didn't. Fuck off you rat, that's not a question, that's not even you drunk as fuck and shit posting that's just you being a fucking rat. Maybe he has fucked me maybe he hasn't, either way your still a rat shut up fuck off."

"Damn girl", Sonya laughed, "you got a mouth on you."

"UGGHH!!!", Nina groaned, "shut up you oppressive misogynistic shitlord!"

Sonya giggled, "yes master."

"How old are you Sonya?", I asked.

"I'm 17", Sonya said, "my 18th birthday is just around the corner and when it gets here I'm hoping I can get into the Army."

"Good luck to ya sister", Nina said as I scrolled down the comments list, looking for some interesting ones.

"Okay here's one, An Obviously Poisoned Purple Mushroom asks", I said, "Josh what is your issue weapon? I'm a Marine and I've been carrying an M4 for 30 plus years."

"I don't know that I'm allowed to show my service weapon on camera, but I think I'm safe in saying that it's basically a lightweight M249 with Ludicrous mode. What else we got here?"

"Oh here's one", I said, "The boiling sheep asks, Josh, what engine would you put into a 92 supra? I would stick a Toyota 1-GZE V12 with two small turbos and a centrifugal supercharger under the hood. Just the right amount of whine and low range boost, then the turbos kick on and I have to ask God to make sure the roads are straight."

'Just like the Civic and my Car", Nina laughed.

'What car you have Nina?", Sonya asked.

"11 Corvette Stingray", Nina said, "it was a second hand racecar I bought from a friend of mine who didn't want it anymore."

"Lucky girl", Sonya said.

"STOP OPRESSING ME!", Nina shouted, "I am a gender fluid Multi curltrial lizard who does not understand your human customs shitlord!"

"Okay okay", Sonya giggled.

"To much Tumbler for you sweetheart", I laughed.

"Oh whatever", she laughed.

I looked over at the clock, 11:22PM. Damn, it had gotten late.

"Getting late", I said, "alright guys, were gonna end the stream here. I'll put those links in the description and then you guys can hear Sargon Of Akkad's thoughts on the matters we discussed. Sonya it was great having you on."

"Great being on Josh", she said, "I guess I'll see you later."

I killed the stream. I shut off all my electronic equipment and then crawled into bed, falling asleep shortly after.