I woke up at dawn having not being able to sleep properly. The first thing I felt was pain in my heart and a throbbing headache . I looked around and saw Vasundhara and Gayatri still sleeping peacefully.

I had to do something about my feelings otherwise I would be in deep trouble I thought.

A little while later after much pondering I decided that the only course left for me was to totally discard the idea of love and to find someone else for Rudra to marry. I couldn't marry him knowing his feelings ran so deep for another. Hearing about a broken heart and actually witnessing someone in pain were two different things.

I had to pretend to be all right for the time being as after the goodbyes today I would not be seeing Rudra for a long long time. The worst would be facing the boys as they knew what had happened the night before but I was sure they didn't understand the real impact it had on my heart. From where they stood it must have seemed more like me being scared of the heavily intoxicated Rudra, though he did take that 'name'. I could always pretend that I didn't understand whose name it was, I decided.

Soon everyone woke up and the dismantling of the tents started. We were again served breakfast out in the open as the sun was yet to send its blazing heat down on us and it was quite cool. It was camel milk with some leftovers from the day before, which was good enough for me as I had lost my appetite.

My mind was on high alert to avoid sighting any of my last night's three co-adventurers. Both the girl's remarked on me being subdued today, as I generally was always enthusiastic about the fresh new day in the morning wondering what new thing I would get to see.

In the end I did see Vikram and Udai bhaisa and both looked somberly at me. I pretended to smile and be happy to waive off any suspension they might have about my heart conditions. They in return smiled back at me but looked quite apologetically at me.

"Where is Rudra?" I heard someone ask, but couldn't hear the answer as it must have been said softly and my back was turned towards those people.

Even I wanted to know the answer as my heart burst with joy hearing that name being referred to by someone else , forgetting the hurts of the previous night. I couldn't ask anyone and no one looked worried about his absence too it seemed.

Taisa and Gayatri gave me a tearful farewell with promises to meet soon. I was given another neg (gift) by taisa as a farewell .I touched the feet of both taisa and tausa as a mark of goodbye. Vikram it seemed wanted to say something to me but again refrained. Gayatri reminded me of the promise I made to her in whispers during the embrace I gave her.

She didn't know what kind of situation she was dealing me with.

I felt a sense of loss as their caravan left before ours did. I had wanted to catch a glimpse of Rudra before they left, but then again maybe it was for the best I consoled myself. It would give me time to get over him.

Complete melancholy silence engulfed our carriage as both Vasundhara and I were lost in our own thoughts. The scene outside had lost all its charm of the day before.

I was deep in thoughts as I recalled the night's incidents scene by scene. I had ample of time to dissect and bisect the situation but no matter how much I tried to create fantasy situation with 'what if' situations, the reality was that Rudra loved someone else with so much passion that to even think about me taking over that position was laughable.

We could always hope said my heart.

I tried to recall if Roopmati was actually married or was there still a chance of Rudra and her getting back together again. My heart sometimes went into the martyr mode where I planned to unite Rudra and Roopmati sacrificing my feelings.

Then again I planned on how to win over Rudra and make him forget Roopmati like promised. Though it seemed selfish but wasn't it the right thing to do as I wasn't the main reason for their breakup. Considering how beautiful Roopmati was as described by Gayatri , it seemed like a momentous task for a plain girl like me. But Rudra had accused me of being pretty, my heart insisted.

"What are you thinking Lekha?" asked Vasundhara .

"Nothing..." I said coming out of my reverie.

"Must be something... I could see your expressions change "smiled Vasundhara.

I couldn't help smiling at her observation as it would have been funny indeed to look at a person whose expressions changed constantly.

"I was just thinking about the days gone by. The total dramatic turn of events in my life. Here I was a foundling one day and now an engaged person with a whole family behind her to support and love". Saying the word engaged still created a lump in my throat.

"Are you happy to be engaged to bhaisa?" asked Vasundhara making me go all still, as it was a question I myself didn't know the answer to.

"Yes... it has been a great honor for me to be taken under protection without any ado "I replied in truthful diplomacy. I didn't want this conversation to go in that direction, fearing my taps to open any instant. I didn't want to reveal my hurt feelings.

"I meant are you really happy Lekha to be getting into this marriage. I remember you saying that you wanted to marry for love" she insisted looking directly into my eyes. "Before Gayatri was here so I didn't want to ask you. I consider you the sister of my heart, so you can tell me anything. You might have been a little hurt by the story of Roopmati..."

"No... why would I be hurt. It's a thing of the past and has nothing to do with me" I said a bit too quickly.

She looked at me with surprise in her eyes but said nothing further.

"You see... I always like to cross the bridge when it comes. Why worry about something from beforehand. It's not like I have to get married to your brother tomorrow itself. I will soon get used to the idea, so when I meet him next time I will be more used to being engaged."

"But bhaisa..."

"Let's talk of something else" I interrupted her, waving my hand to ward of that topic.

She smiled at me mysteriously at that but didn't say anything further.

The topic changed to all the people I was going to meet at her place. It seemed few other relatives lived with them too, making me wonder how they were going to take my arrival.

The scene outside started to change after an hour or so as we approached Vasundhara's estate. We lifted up the curtain panels to get a clear view of outside. The scene outside had turn greener as compared to before, pointed out Vasundhara with pride in her voice.

I could see trees growing closer to each other now and also barley fields almost ready to be harvested. Vasundhara gave me a running commentary of all things I could see. Though it was a complete monologue with a few nods or hums from my side, I liked being distracted.

As soon as we approached the outskirts of the village Vasundhara pulled down the curtains.



The wooden door

We soon reached in front of the huge wooden gates of a walled campus. It had beautiful carvings on it but sharp shiny brass nails also adorned it at equal spacing to reinforce from attacks. The gates had been opened by two guards. I could see that fewer carriages now followed us as others seemed to have dispersed off in the village. The luggage carriages waited outside the doors as ours proceeded further inside.

As soon as the carriage stopped I tried to scramble down, in a hurry to get a full view of the place but found myself being helped down by sturdy hands.



Ruecheri I hope you are happy now :)

I feel happy to be getting ample of time to write. :D

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